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“So, are you going to tell me what’s been up? I know that look. Something’s wrong,” Newt says.
But you stay silent. You’ve never been one for voicing your problems out loud. Besides, you don’t want to upset Newt.
“It’s me. C’mon,” Newt says. You know that sincere look. He’s worried, but he gives you a small smile anyway. Suddenly, he’s sitting up, leaning his back against the log and putting his legs out straight. “Lay down.”
“What?” you ask.
“If you won’t talk, then I will. Head down,” Newt says, patting his lap.
You can’t help but smile as you curl yourself up beside him, resting your head on his lap and looking out at the maze. Newt’s fingers are in your hair almost instantly, playing with it because he knows it relaxes you. Only when he does it, though. He’s had a fascination with it ever since you taught him what braiding is.
“Thanks, Newt,” you say.
“Mmhm. Now, you don’t have to tell me what’s going on. But I see something has been bothering you. It could be a thousand different things in this bloody place,” Newt starts.
“The Glade?”
“No,” Newt says. “Just life. But we’re all going through it, right? We all have each other. And I’m glad to have you, you know. Even if you’re not always glad to be here, I’m thankful that you are.”
Your eyes begin tearing up, but that’s alright. Newt can have that effect on people. Not in a bad way, though. In the way that he makes you feel special somehow.
“It’s just… hard,” you say.
“Well, of course it’s hard. Sometimes things will be awful, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something great that comes after. I know by now that things will sometimes look hopeless. Like there’s no way out. But even if you can’t see it now, it’s out there. Sometimes you just have to wait,” Newt says. “It’s worth fighting for. You’re worth fighting for. You deserve to be happy.”
“Why?” you ask.
“Why wouldn’t you? I mean, what have you done to deserve otherwise?” Newt asks.
You never thought of it like that. “I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I deserve it as much as other people.”
“You all do. Just the fact that you’re thinking like this means you’re a good person, yeah? But I’ve had these same thoughts before. Overthinking,” Newt says.
“You? How? You’re… Newt,” you say.
Newt laughs. “I could say the same about you. You’ll always think that about the people that aren’t you, but why do we give ourselves such little room for forgiveness? You’re your own harshest critic. That’s the case with everyone.”
“But…”
“And listen, everything you think you may see in me is a reflection of yourself. You always appreciate the qualities in others that you also have. So would you want me to get help and reach out if I was upset like you?”
“I would,” you have to admit.
“Exactly,” Newt says. His voice gets softer as he continues, twirling your hair as he speaks. “I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. But despite what you may think, you’re doing great. I’m proud of you. Your time will come when you don’t have to be fighting so hard, okay? I promise. Hold on for me?”
You nod. “I will.”
“Good that,” Newt says, a smile in his tone. “I’m always here, you know. Watch out for yourself. I’ll be sad if you don’t.”
“I guess I have to then,” you say, smiling along.
“You better believe it. You’re important. Never think twice about that. You decide it for yourself, after all,” Newt says. “Now, do you feel like talking?”
“I think I’m alright now,” you say. You mean it. “Can we just sit here for a while?”
“Sounds good to me,” Newt says. He always has liked peace and quiet.
Having a best friend like him is a pretty amazing thing.
And he thinks the exact same about you.