Chapter Text
Your days don’t normally start off this.... weirdly for lack of better words. I mean, after all, one doesn’t normally wake up in the middle of a big and green open field. No, no. Normally you would be waking up on your very comfortable bed. Body sprawled out on top of the comforter and using a small throw blanket as the main thing to cover up your body. Yeah you know it’s kinda weird but you can’t help that you’re hot blooded ok. Anyways, you would wake up. Probably turn your fan off and get up to either take a shower or just quickly get dressed. Then your grandma would drop you off at college to get your classes over and done with. Then, after learning more about animal nutrition, horse husbandry, and other agricultural things you’d get a ride back home. And then once you got home you’d eat dinner, go back to sleep and start the whole day over again. Now, was it the most entertaining life that someone could have? No. Not by any means. But it was still your life. And honestly, you loved it. You really did. Yes, sometimes college would stress the fuck outta ya, but despite wishing a few things could be different or at least play out differently, you couldn’t imagine it any other way. You really couldn’t. But right now is not the time for that. You are in a field. A big, green one. Let’s focus on that.
‘Dear Lord, I can already feel my heart rate increasing. Calm down (y/n). Your fine. Their is no immediate danger around you. You’ll be fine. Just get up and look for a road. That road will take you to people. Hopefully nice ones that’ll give you directions.’ You thought as you looked around the very empty and grassy terrain. The only thing you could see were big rolling hills and trees that made up a forest all around the border of this field. ‘Or hell, maybe they’d even have video evidence of whatever fucking weirdo decided to take you from your home and drop you off in the middle of nowhere. Ok, all I need to do first is stand up.’
Which you did. And as soon as you got up you checked your back pocket for your phone simply out of sheer muscle memory. And lucky for you, it was there.
“Ok. They didn’t take my phone.” You said as you turned it on. It still had 100% battery life which was a good thing. But sadly you had no bars out here. Wherever here was. But even though you knew you had absolutely no WiFi or bars you still tried calling your mom. And then your grandma. And your sister, cousin, and aunt. In that order. But just like you predicted, you got nothing. No reception means no calls. Which also means no google maps for you.
“Fucking great.” If you were being honest with yourself you didn’t want to move from the spot you were at. To paralyzed in fear of the unknown despite it being overwhelmingly calm here, again, wherever here is. But you had to move. You knew that. So you made your way to the huge rolling hills in the distance. Mind you, they weren’t overwhelmingly large, but they were bigger than you so you figured if you climbed atop them you can get a better look at where you were. And you didn’t wanna risk getting lost in the woods. So the hills were your only option. As you continued walking your eyes gradually drifted down to your feet to look at exactly where and what you were walking on. As most people do. And as soon as you got a look at your giant, bare feet...... you screamed.
“WOAAAAAAAA!!! OK! WHAT THE FUCK?! Oh Jesus Christ. What!? What? WHAT?! What the fuck are those?!” Not only did you not have any shoes on, which is weird since you’d felt like you would have noticed if you were walking on grass, but they were abnormally large. Like crazy stupid large. You wore a size 8 in women’s shoes. But looking at your feet now, you’d probably be a size 12.... in men’s. How did your feet get so damn big? Why did they get big? How is that possible? They didn’t look or feel swollen in anyway. They looked like your feet. Just... bigger. You bright your hands up and rubbed the sides of your face a bit before finally running your fingers through your short multicolored hair.
“Ok. I’m fine. I’m totally fine. I’m not in pain. I’m not hurting in any way. So once I get home I can go to the doctors or go directly to the ER to get help. But right now, I need to to get HOME. So, I guess it’s up and over the hills we go (y/n).” And with that being said you walk over to the first hill closest to you. And despite your feet being larger than normal you can still walk relatively fine. Once you get to the hill you realize just how steep it actually is. You look up to the top of the hill and see the clouds start to darken and notice the sun beginning to set.
“Great. I better hurry and find a way home soon. I fucking hate the dark.” You then start to climb up the hill. You use your upper body strength to help pull you up to the top. Grabbing on to the grass to help you along the way and getting dirt underneath your nails. Thankfully you have black nail polish on. Chipped, and desperately needing a new coat. But still helpful in hiding the crud underneath them. You finally make it to the top of the hill and sit on your knees to get a good look around.
“Woah. Are you serious? Is this forreal?” You looked around at what appeared to be a town. Or judging by the way it looks, you’d call it a village. A medieval looking one at that. But, sadly, you’ve seen this place before. You laid down flat on your chest and stomach in hopes no one would see you and tried to find a person that would hopefully, or tragically, confirm your absolutely deranged theory. And in the next minute.... you saw them. People. Well, no actually. Not people.
“Hobbits. Real-life fucking hobbits. You have got to be shitting me?” You ushered lowly under your breath as you watched the hobbits start to slowly walk back in their hillside homes. More commonly known as Hobbit holes. You think at least. You’re not to sure. You assume that since it’s getting late out they are all going to home to eat dinner then rest. Your brain on the other hand, is nowhere near close to resting. A million questions run through your mind. And you don’t have the answer to any of them. Not a single one. You’re not the biggest fan of Tolkien’s work by any means. You haven’t read any of the books. And, HELL, you haven’t even seen The Lord of the Rings movies. But you have seen The Hobbit trilogy, and you’ll admit, you really enjoyed. You enjoyed it enough to read a couple of fanfics surrounding the basis of the movie. But by no means did you want to be a part of it. As the last hobbit went into his home and the sun was then replaced by the moon you flipped yourself over and stared up at the stars. The stars that looked nothing like the ones back at home, probably due to the fact that you couldn’t find any constellations that you knew of. That and light pollution. The stars twinkled brightly in the sky as questions slowly spilled from your mouth.
“Where exactly am I in the movie? If I’m even in the movie version at all? Is Bilbo still here? Did he already leave? Or did he just get back from his adventure? God, I’m just royally fucked aren’t I.” You then sigh and shut your eyes. Growing weary of everything you’ve learned and seen, just wanting to go back home. See what your grandma could be cooking for dinner. Waiting for your cousin to get back from working at Starbucks. And having your little sister help with the hard parts on your video games despite playing on the easiest mode. With the last thought being your beloved little sister in your mind you open your eyes back up to see the night sky once again and whisper quietly to yourself.
“@God........ why you gotta do me dirty like this? You fuck.” And that’s when you hear it. A small little twinkle of a bell. One that sounded familiar. You flip back over on your stomach and crawl over on your hands and knees, trying to avoid grass stains despite already having some, to the edge of the hill to peek at the door of the home that you are currently lying atop of. And you see him. Bald and shiny head, tattoos, crooked nose and all.
“Dwalin.” Holy fuck. That’s Dwalin. That’s actually him. He looks different in person somehow. But still very much the same as the movies. Maybe it’s just because you’re looking at him from an aerial view. I’m sure that type of perspective isn’t the most flattering. You then hear the door creak open and see light flow out, presumably from a lantern. Dwalin bows politely.
“Dwalin. At your service.” He then stands back up to his full height. Which was taller then bilbo. You knew this despite not being able to see him at the moment. But you could hear him. And what you heard was a short whimper before the rustling of clothes and then a final shuffle of the feet.
“Bilbo Baggins. At yours.” And with that Dwalin takes it upon himself to storm into Bilbo lovely little hobbit hole. The door remains upon for short period of time before closing once more. And you can only assume Dwalin is eating up Bilbos fish and asking for more right at this very moment. After all you can only hear vague murmurs through the walls nothing distinguishable. You remain still for a bit. In complete awe, with a side of terror. Probably because you were hoping that this was all a dream. But that dwarf looked too real for this to be a dream. You could reach out and touch him. And usually in your dreams things were hazy. Or at least they were when you woke up. Hmmm, maybe that’s why the were hazy. In your daze you missed another dwarf, Balin, walk into Bilbos home. You just get a glimpse of his white hair before he goes through the door. You assume he’s greeting his brother with a good ol’ headbutt for good measure. You lay on the hill as flat as you can in hopes that no one can see you and wait for the next dwarves to come. The heartthrobs of the whole movie. Or, at least, that’s what they seem to be. You then hear two large and heavy footsteps approach Bilbos garden gate before you snap your head up to look at the brothers in all their beautiful glory.
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear. God, they are just beautiful.” You stared at Fili’s golden blonde hair and his baby blues eyes in amazement. You couldn’t help it. He was your favorite in the movie. I mean come on. He’s cute. To be honest with yourself, they are all pretty cute in their own odd and hairy way. After getting a good look at Fili you turn eyes to the taller of the two, but still the youngest, Kili. And would you look at that. He’s staring at you too. Your eyes widen with fear and your mouth opens slightly trying to get words out, an apology maybe? But you can’t seem to say anything. To scared to utter a word.
“Pardon me, Miss? What are you doing up there? Are you supposed to be there?” He said as he raised one eyebrow in question. And by saying this he got the attention of his brother, who looked at him oddly before following his line of sight to meet your even more horrified stare as well. Fili furrows his eyebrows, presumably in confusion. Probably because theirs a weird ass girl just hanging out on someone’s roof. But.... you didn’t bother staying to ask if this assumption was correct.
“Excuse me! I’m sorry!” You squeak out as you raised both of your hands in mock surrender before getting up onto your feet and bolting down the hill and back to where you came from. You eventually stop and put your hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath. Running was not your strong suit.
“Oh god. Oh fuck. God Jesus H. Christ. Why did I do that? Why was that so terrifying? God they probably think I’m crazy. They’re probably telling all the other dwarfs that PROBABLY just shown up right now as I was booking it about this weirdo girl in weird ass clothes who was chilling on Bilbo’s house! Oh god what will Bilbo think?” You contemplate these stress induced questions as you huff and look down at your feet once more. Kicking pebbles with your oversized feet.
“I’m not a girl anymore though, now am I? Well.... at least not a human one. I’m a hobbit. I’m a fucking hobbit!” You exclaim as you raise your arms up into the air before letting them fall down once more to make a slapping sound against your ripped skinny jeans, covered in grass stains.
“Why am I a hobbit? Like, in what world.......like what?! Who thought it would be funny to turn this short bitch into an even shorter bitch. Like what gives God?” You ask while looking up into the sky. Hoping that he could see or hear you complain cause damnit someone needs to listen to your complaints or you just might blow a gasket. You pull out your phone from your back pocket once more, still no WiFi, no bars, no new notifications.....no calls from home asking and wondering where you are. It’s 11:25 pm. You furrow your brows in frustration. Why are you here? How did you even get here at all? You clench your fists in anger and try to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall from your eyes as you think about the fact that you might not be able to go back home.
“No. Seriously! What fucking gives!? Why in the HELL am I here? I don’t understand? If... if this is some... some fucking BULLSHIT way of getting me to help them!” You yell as you point towards Bilbo’s hill.
“Then how do you expect me to do that huh!? How!? HOW!? TELL ME!? I can’t fight! I can’t use any of the weapons that they use! I’m useless here! Don’t you get that! I can’t just learn these things on a whim! That shit takes a long fucking time to learn! I’ll die out there! I can die out there...... and..... who knows if they’ll even wanna take me with them.” The tears flow uncontrollably now. All the emotions of being in a new world, and all by yourself to boot, hitting you all at once. There is no guarantee that the dwarves would take another “useless” hobbit with them. Especially one as weird and strange as you. And even if they did, they could fucking hate you. And that’s whole different kind of torture. Being surrounded by people that hate you. And thats one feeling that you definitely would rather live without feeling. And even then, there is still no guarantee that you can get back home. What would you need to even go about going back home? A certain person? Magic spells? Completing the quest? You don’t know. And not knowing something is its own type of scary all by it’s self. You sniffle a bit before sitting down on the cold grass.
“I just wanna go home.” You pull your knees up to your chest before hugging them and resting your face on them soon after. And in that moment of complete sorrow, you didn’t hear the crunching of boots on grass walking closer and closer to you.
“Oh my dear, what ever is the matter? A face like yours should never be wet with tears. Please, my child. Stand strong and tell me what ails you so?”