Work Text:
Average Gotham citizens sit at home watching tv, when suddenly the screen fills with static. The picture clears, showing creeper standing to the right of a map of Gotham.
"GOOD EVENING GOTHAM! Creeper here, with tonight's weather."
She turns to the map.
"As you can see on the board, that blustery weather we’ve been having recently will be continuing, as we see steady winds coming from the south of the city.
Now according to our specialists, numerous bombs full of joker gas that have been placed throughout the city will explode. So at about midnight, expect a large cloud bank to form, and then spread to the rest of Gotham. So expect fog, cloudy skies, and lots of smiles!
Now we go live in location to Joker with the demands."
The camera view shifts to a shot of The Joker standing out in a windy street, holding an inside out umbrella and a microphone, which he speaking into with a dramatic flourish.
"That's right gotham!!!!"
he pulls out an oversized pocket watch.
"You've got 2 hours to send me 50 million dollars or the entire city gets covered in my giggle gas... Don't keep me waiiiiii-tinnng."
The scene goes back to Creeper.
"And now, a word from our sponsor."
"It's the Creeper home videos! With over 37 hours of material, this 12 disk set will give you hours of entertainment, with such classics as, Breakfast with Joker!"
It shows a tired joker reading the newspaper and drinking coffee from a cup with his logo on it, he sees Creeper with the camera, sighs and puts down the newspaper.
"Creeper, I know I said you could practice using the camera, but that was three days ago, so STOP FILMING EVERYTHING BEFORE I CANCEL YOUR SHOW PERMANENTLY!!!!"
"Left the lens cap on!"
A completely black screen with the sounds of batman and joker fighting.
"Bird watching!"
Creeper jumping from roof to roof and then slowing down to look at a pigeon.
"And here's another pigeon. Im gonna name you Carl."
A red gloved hand reaches out to the pigeon, which flies away. The camera follows it, then sees an evil looking crow (which viewers may recognise as one of the penguins bird minions)
"Hey! A crow!"
“Left the lens cap on again!”
A black screen again with different sounds of Joker and Batman fighting, only this time The Penguin can be heard as well and it ends with Joker, Batman, and Penguin all simultaneously yelling “DON'T TOUCH THAT!!” to Creeper, followed by an explosion.
"And of course, bank robbery."
Joker and his goons are emptying out safety deposit boxes into a bunch of large sacks. Joker looks over at the camera.
"Creeper, put the camera away and help us carry the loot!"
"I can do both."
she whines.
"Yup, all the footage that joker thought wouldn't undermine our criminal operations is yours to own for just $50.00, call now to order."
Back at Joker's hideout, Creeper checks her bank account on a laptop. Joker walks by and looks over her shoulder.
"You’re not buying another priceless Roman sculpture are you? I keep telling you, we're villains, we steal that kind of stuff, not buy it through perfectly legal means."
"I'm checking my bank account to see how much money i've made!"
"You mean that lousy home movie collection? Who on earth wants to watch you look at pigeons for hours?"
She finishes typing
"Ive made just over 7000 bucks! Woo hooo!"
she says while spinning around in her chair.
"Huh, I guess people really will buy anything nowadays."