Work Text:
It's a sunny afternoon in Gotham city, and in the park many Gothamites have gathered for the annual chili cook off. A fun day to just forget your worries and enjoy the various kinds of chili the city has to offer. But as with most festivities in Gotham, some of the usual riff-raff shows up to ruin the fun.
The mayor begins his judging of the chili, trying a spoonful from the first contestant.
Immediately his mouth burns like he tried to swallow hot coals, and in a panic he grabs the nearest glass of water he can see and chugs like his life depends on it. But then, he notices something on the table where the glass had been.
A playing card.
A joker playing card.
Being a frequent hostage of the city's costumed lunatics, and therefore someone who knows what he's talking about, he tries to warn the others, but he needn't have bothered. A purple and orange fire truck pulls up behind the crowd of spectators.
"It's the joker!"
one of them screams and the whole group starts to panic, desperately trying to flee the scene.
Jokers two bulky henchmen Punch and Judy quickly grab the mayor and drag him over to the fire truck, while The Joker says some witty chili related anecdote and threatens him with a fire hose full of joker venom.
Cue The Batman to save the day! Or should I say Batman AND Batgirl. And while they engage in their usual crime fighting, Joker realizes something while he watches the two of them fight his goons.
"Just look at batsy and bitsy. The teamwork, The footwork. I want my own mini me."
He calls his goons back to the fire truck and they drive off.
"Back to the old homestead boys. This schemes gone down the tubes and I need some time to think."
So they return to the abandoned warehouse they use as an evil hideout and the joker sits down in his green lazy boy, throwing darts at a picture of batman and thinking aloud.
"Must be nice to have someone to watch your back, to mold in your own likeness."
He throws another dart at batman's photo.
"Well if you have a sidekick batsy, I want one too."
His henchmen look over at him questioningly.
"You two don't count. Your not sidekicks, you're goons!"
and they hang their heads in disappointment. Joker gets up and walks over to the window dramatically while saying
"I just know that somewhere out there is a joker junior, just waiting for me to take them under my wing."
And so he begins his search. Taking one of his less conspicuous vehicles he drives to Gotham high and parks it near the exit just as schools ending and the students are leaving the grounds to get a general overview of what Gotham has to offer.
Soon the last of the kids pass through the gates.
"Hmmm, looks like Ive got plenty of fine youngsters to choose from. It'll be so hard to pick just one."
But then a girl with dark brown hair tied into a ponytail slip's through the gate and hides on the other side of the big stone support structures, a mischievous grin on her face.
"Haaaang on."
Joker says as he looks through the binoculars around his neck.
"now just what are you up to missy?"
Soon a pair of muscular guys, each about a head and a half taller than the girl, make their way to the gate, chatting amongst themselves. The girl sneaks a peak around the corner, then sticks her foot out just as they pass by her, tripping one of them for a spectacular face plant against the sidewalk.
"Have a nice trip! See ya next fall!"
she says before cackling at her own joke. The second guy helps the first one up, who says,
"You think that's funny do you? Trying to make me look like a fool?!"
to which she reply's
"You don't need me to make you look like a fool."
The both of them scowl at this remark, dumbly shouting back.
"Nobody talks to us like that!"
But she remain unfazed, quipping back
"Like what? This?"
Before she blows a razzberry in their face. Going red in the face, the first kid shouts
"Get her!"
And she bolts, yelling
"Cant you guys take a joke!"
while they follow after her around the corner and out of sight.
Joker slowly lowers his binoculars and says to his two goons who were sitting in the front seats
"Well boys, I think we have our first candidate. If she survives of course."
The next day the two guys that had chased her come to school in bad spirits, and are quick to tattle on her.
Walking down the hallway she hears over the intercom
"Jackie Ryans please report to the principal's office."
Unsurprised at this, she let's out a sigh and begrudgingly walks over to the office, with a janitor following her at a distance until she enters the principal's office, where he stands outside the office door, listening intently on the conversation.
She sits down in the chair opposite the principal, an ageing man who looks firm, but fair.
"Care to explain yourself?"
he asks.
"Explain what?" she replies, clearly feigning ignorance.
"Explain why you decided to attack Steve and Conner yesterday after school."
"I didn't attack them; it was just a harmless prank. Its their own fault they can't take a joke."
"A joke huh? Well according to this you first tripped Steve,"
"Yea."
"Then called them names,"
"Well I would hardly say that."
"Lured them into an alley full of feral cats,"
"oh yea."
"And threw water balloons at them filled with fish guts,"
"They never saw it coming."
"Which caused the cats to attack the boys,"
"You should have been there, it was hilarious!"
"And then as they ran away from the cats you sprayed them with a high powered garden hose,"
"Had to get that fishy smell off them somehow."
"Before they were finally able to get away."
"Not so tough now are they?"
"Well Jackie, at first I thought this was all a lie told by the boys to get you in trouble, but you just went and admitted to the whole thing. You know this is grounds for expulsion right?"
"Aww come on. It wasn't that bad. The only thing hurt is their pride."
But that comment causes the man to snap at her with,
"Which is why you weren't expelled on the spot young lady!.... So, why did you do it?"
"Umm... no reason."
she says sheepishly.
"I don't buy that garbage. I've been a principle for over 20 years. I know you kids are always trying to get revenge on each other for one thing or another, so why did you go after Steve and Conner? "
"Can't anyone just appreciate a good joke? Even if they might have deserved it, it's all just in good fun."
"A joke? This is hardly a joke Jackie; you put two of your classmates in danger!"
"Well you know the old saying, tragedy is when I get a hangnail, comedy is when you fall down an open manhole and die. Wait that's probably a bad saying to use, ummm, well can't you just let this one slide?"
"Not this time Jackie, ive had enough of your little stunts. You'll get four weeks of detention, and im signing you up to talk with the school guidance councilor about your issues with getting along with your class mates!"
"Four weeks! You've got to be kidding me!"
"I assure you miss Ryans, this is no joke. Now get back to class."
The janitor who had been listening in scrambles to look busy while Jackie walks out of the office grumbling under her breath. The janitor smiles an evil smile and pushes his mop bucket along the empty hallway, and behind him you see Jackie talking with a particularly nerdy looking boy who's holding a hall pass. He then hugs her, much to Jackie's surprise, who pats him on the back awkwardly.
Back at joker's hideout, he's tearing the place up looking for a costume.
"I'm telling you, she's perfect! A misunderstood prankster just trying to spread some humor around to people who just don't get the joke, and such talent for it too! It'll be great getting some fresh blood in the old clown house. Fresh ideas for some serious joker magic. I just need a costume that suits her. This one just doesn't feel right."
he says while holding up a maroon and black prototype costume.
"Oh well, I sure it'll come to me eventually"
he tosses the costume over his shoulder.
"Come on boys, we've got a sidekick to pick up".
Later that night, Jackie tosses her bag on the floor of her dark bedroom, part of an apartment on the second floor, with her room's window overlooking the fire escape. She pulls out her hair band, ruffles her hair, which is long and smooth, and flip's on the light switch.
She freezes in terror, because the joker is standing right next to her window.
"Yuh-you're the joker aren't you?"
"The one and only"
he responds with a small bow.
"What are you doing in my room?"
she says while trying to remain calm.
"I saw that little prank you pulled yesterday, and kid, you have some real potential."
"What do you mean potential?"
"Well you see kid, I'm a comic, who only wants to make people laugh, just like you, I'll bet no one gets your jokes either. Instead of laughing at you unique brand of humor you get detention for four whole weeks. Now that's pretty harsh for a few cats and a hose."
"....Yea. They do a lot worse stuff then what I did, but they don't get in trouble at all."
"See! life just isn't fair sometimes. You try to spread a little joy in this miserable world, but instead you get put down by all those sad little people who just didn't get the joke "
he puts his arm around her
"Jackie, how would you like to learn from the best, be my, apprentice."
"Your apprentice? I, don't, I, I mean I can't."
he quiets her stammering.
"Chew on it awhile"
Joker casually walks back over to the window, and is about to get out when she gets that look that says, I have an idea.
"Joker, wait."
"Yeeeeeeeees?"
"I'll do it."
"You will?!!"
he leaps over and gives her a big bear hug while laughing
"Ha haaaaa... I knew you were a good choice!"
He puts her down, but still has his hands on her shoulders, and points with his thumb over his shoulder at the window.
"Come on sport, I've got a car waiting for us"
and the two of them climb out the window and down the fire escape, but not before a voice coming from down the hallway says
"Jackie, quit making so much noise, it's a school night, you should be in bed by now."
There's a long pause
"That's better, now I don't want to hear another peep out of you the rest of the night."
The two of them get in the car and drive, with Jackie thinking of the real reason she pulled that prank. She thinks back to lunchtime at the school cafeteria. She's eating and chatting with the people across from her when the two boys Steve and Conner walk by and start bullying a really nerdy looking guy, she looks over at the scene with malice as the Conner finally pushes the nerdy kids face right into his pudding and walks off laughing with his burly friend.
She's really steamed now, and gets up to go help the nerdy kid. She gives him some napkins and says
"You have to stop letting them treat you like this."
"I try"
he says through a stream of tears
"I really try to be brave like you tell me, but they're just so much bigger than me." i
n an understanding tone she replies
"Its alright Arnold. I guess it is about time someone stood up for the little guy."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm saying I get them back for you, and I got just the way to do it."
She looks off, immersed in ideas for revenge.
"No, don't! You'll get in trouble."
His words snapping her out of her train of thought.
"Hey, Ive been in trouble plenty of times before, and besides, someone has to show those bullies not to mess with people just because they're smaller than them. And I'll make sure you have nothing to do with it. Those guys will get the prank of their lives and you'll get off Scot free."
Flash forward a few days to the time when she just walks out of the office. She makes her way down the hall (with joker-janitor walking away in the background) until she spots Arnold down the hall and walks over to him.
"So what did he say?"
he asks in that shy voice of his.
"Meh, I got four weeks of detention, no biggie."
And he hugs her, tears welling up in his eyes and a big smile on his face
"Thank you so much, I don't know how I could repay you."
And she awkwardly pats him on the back, surprised at his sudden display of emotion.
"Don't worry about it. Sometimes doing the right thing can be its own reward."
And the flashback ends. She silently thinks to herself,
"If I can just pretend to be jokers sidekick for a few days, I can tell the police where his hideout is and all his plans, I just have to make sure he doesn't find out it's me that ratted him out."
They arrive at Joker's hideout and start bouncing ideas back and forth for his latest scheme.
" How about this one, you let the batman catch you and take you to Arkham, then you take over the asylum and let the crazy's loose to soften him up a bit, and then once the news helicopters arrive, lure batman onto the roof with a hostage or something and then BOOM! Kill the batman on live TV."
He thinks for a bit
"Hmm, maybe later, what else you got?"
"How about you douse all the fish in Gotham with joker gas, and then charge the people who sell the fish a small fee for using your image?"
"Would joker venom even work on fish?"
He says to himself more than anyone.
" Maybe I am thinking too big for a first gig. Let's see, it has to have a clownish theme, but still cause some damage. We could cover the police station in cotton candy. No wait that doesn't have enough oomph to it, it just rains and the cotton candy's gone, caramel? Nooo. Ive got it! We hit the police station with a giant gumball!"
he thinks it over for a second then smiles
"That could gum up the works for days, and with the right touch it could have that crazy crime clown flair!"
and he gives her another one of those big bear hugs
"Ha ha hahhh! I love it!"
He turns to punch and Judy and tells them
"Construction, wardrobe!"
and Jackie says with a skeptical look
"Wardrobe? Does that mean I get my own costume?"
"Jackie, Jackie, you're a sidekick now. Of course you do. You need the proper outfit for the job!"
He pulls her close and mutters conspiratorially to her
"Oh and when we get back, let's try out that fish idea of yours k?"
Though she just kinda looks at her shoes and fidgets, before saying
"Uhh joker. What do I do if the Batman shows up? I mean I've been in a few fights and taken some karate classes, but… "
".....But you don't think it's enough to take on the bat-brain."
He stands back up straight and strokes his chin thoughtfully
"Well I have to admit you may have a point there.... How about I start you off with some laughing gas pellets, and we'll see where it goes from there? Now about that costume."
he says as they walk after his goons
"I was thinking a red and maroon court jester look. whaddaya think?"
she shrugs
"Well you're the expert"
and he laughs as they walk off.
Down at the police station a giant gumball machine rolls down the street, a cackling Joker at the controls. With a pull of a leaver the gumball cannon loads its sticky cargo, and with a press of a button it fires, encasing the police departments doorway in gum. He fires off a few more shots before Batman and Batgirl swing in to save the day.
Batman jams the leaver with a batarang and says,
"Your joke just fell flat."
Though the Joker quickly follows it up with
"Well stand by for another Batsy!"
An orange and purple Volkswagen van pulls up beside the giant gumball machine and a familiar voice says from within the van
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
Replies the Joker.
"Prank."
"Prank who?"
the doors of the van burst open with a loud bang and confetti, but this time the voice doesn't come from the van, it comes from behind Batman and Batgirl.
"Prank, the jokers new sidekick!"
They instantly turn around to see a girl who looks a few years younger than Batgirl dressed in a jester outfit holding a pogo stick. She tosses a few laughing gas pellets at Batman and Batgirl, which they leap away from, before bouncing off on her pogo stick and landing on the gumball machine next to Joker, while he claps for his sidekick.
"She got the drop on us"
Batman states a matter of fact-ly
"Well it won't happen again"
Batgirl replies.
While back up on the gumball machine,
"It's your time to shine prank"
Joker says while motioning at the controls. She eagerly points the barrel at Batman and Batgirl and fires, but they dodge.
"Got a way to keep them still a second or two boss?"
"Why prank, that's what henchmen are for!"
Jokers goons Punch and Judy run up and attack Batman, giving her just enough time to hit them with a gumball.
She then aims it at Batgirl.
"Try to get this out of your hair!"
And fires, but she dodges and leaps onto the platform, kicking prank in the face.
"Show me what you got, clown girl."
"Ladies first"
and Prank tries to hit batgirl with the pogo stick and bounces off the platform, Batgirl follows.
Once at the bottom, Prank does a quick spot check to make sure no-one can see them then signals to Batgirl to stop and be quiet then whispers
"I'm just playing along with joker. He asked me to be his sidekick and I was worried he'd kill me if I refused. But this is going too far, I need Batman's help to bring him down. Don't make it look like I'm involved"
Unprepared for such an admittance, Batgirl responds a bit dumbly,
"Huh? So wait, you're not working with the Joker?"
"Shhh! Just keep fighting me, this conversation never happened."
And Prank lunges at Batgirl, who dodges, but Prank used her pogo stick and bounces back onto the platform while dropping some laughing gas, though Batgirl is still right on her tail. That is, until Joker knocks her out with his extendable boxing glove.
"Aww, and I was having so much fun."
Prank complains.
"Kid the first rule of comedy is timing, when you see an opening you gotta take it or the joke'll fall flat"
"Well, that was pretty funny."
she says while snickering. Joker then picks up Batgirl, leaps onto the barrel of the gumball cannon and starts chaining her to a gumball.
"Looksy batman! My Sidekick, is about to make your sidekick go splat! Hahahahaha… Launch away prank!"
"But, she'll..."
prank stammers, her expression turning fearful.
"That's right! It'll be he-ha-larious!"
Joker replies, not seeming to notice just how hesitant she was.
"B-but how is this funny?"
Prank asks.
Joker frowns and leaps over to the control panel next to prank.
"You yank leaver, gumball go boom, goo everywhere, including Batgirls! We laugh, they cry! It's just like you said, comedy is when someone else falls into an open manhole and dies, NOW PUSH HER IN!!!"
"Wait, you were there when I got detention?"
"Of course, I had to make sure my sidekick wouldn't disappoint."
"But, I didn't want to hurt anyone this badly.This just seems a bit too, extreme."
Joker snarls at this.
"Sounds like someone needs a time out."
And he grabs Prank by the collar of his costume and starts dragging her away, before suddenly pausing with a.
"Oops, almost forgot!"
He runs over to the controls
"No!"
Prank yells, and he pushes the button, sending Batgirl flying. But luckily Batman is able to cut the chains in time with a batarang, and Batgirl grapples to safety, landing beside Batman as the orange and purple van speeds off.
"Batman we have to go help her, she's not really with the Joker. He just asked her to be his sidekick and she was too scared to refuse, she wants to help us bring him in."
There's a slight pause as Batman thinks it over
"We'll have to track them down. Fast."
"Easy, I popped a tracer on her."
Batgirl says, pulling out the digital map showing Pranks location.
Joker slams open the door to his hideout; mood sour, and dragging Jackie by the collar of her costume behind him.
"We've got lots to do if your ever gonna be my sidekick."
"I'll do better joker, honest."
She says timidly, clumsily grasping the hand that Joker dragged her with to keep the collar of the costume from choking her
"Yes, you will, and I know just the thing for it. I should have known that a costume and makeup wouldn't be enough. No, to live the part, you have to be the part."
"W-what do you mean?"
"Come on, I'll show you"
He opens a secret door at the back of his hideout, leading to room with an eerie green glow and an elevator. Joker drags her onto the elevator and starts it.
"Where are we going?"
she asks timidly
"To a happy place for only special little sidekicks to see."
The elevator reaches the top, showing a catwalk over 8 giant tanks of glowing green sludge.
"A place where crazy crime clowns are born."
he drags her further onto the catwalk and looks over one of the tanks.
"Have a good look at my past, and your future."
"No!"
"That's right Jackie, its permaclown time"
she tries to pry herself out of the jokers grip and run, but it's futile as she just get's pulled into a tight one armed hug while Joker gestures dramatically around the room with his other hand
"It was in this very chemical concoction that I collected my clownish complexion. And now it's your turn."
He tries to push her over the edge, but she latches onto the handrail like a wet cat.
"Come on Prank, it's not that bad, why so nervous, I mean look how I turned out."
she is able to squirm past him and runs, but he catches up easily andgrabs her and lifts her up so they're face to face.
"Come on Prank, I'm trying to do you a favor here, stop fighting, and get in the giant tub of glowing green chemicals."
He lifts her up over his head to throw her in, but just then Batman swoops down and kicks him in the face, making him drop Jackie and sending him flying across the catwalk, but Jackie only barely catches the handrail supports, and as Batman bends down to pull her up Joker throws some of his razor sharp playing cards at him, which embed themselves in his side. As he yells with pain the joker does a flying kick to the head, knocking Batman back across the catwalk.
"Help me, I can't hold on, much longer".
Jackie yells.
"I've got you"
says Batgirl as she swings over to help, but Joker throws another one of his playing cards, cutting her line, and Batgirl is forced to grab onto Jackie as she falls, or else end up in the tanks below.
"Neeeegh, Batgirl, climb up me. No one else is getting hurt because of me, now climb!"
Batgirl carefully climbs up Jackie and makes it to the catwalk, then tries to pull Jackie up too and the Joker pulls out his boxing glove and is about to shoot the two of them, but Batman, coughing up blood and clutching his side where the playing cards hit him throws a batarang, knocking the glove out of his hand.
But that just makes the Joker just charge forward and tackle Batgirl, leaving Jackie only about halfway on the catwalk.
As the Joker turns back to her, she grabs some laughing gas pellets from the pouch on her side and is about to throw them at Joker, but he quickly grabs her hand in a crushing grip before she can throw them, causing them to burst painfully in her hand, and she starts cackling like a madman from the gas.
And with that, the Joker finally just grabs her face, and pushes her in. She falls, laughing the whole way, her still open bag of laughing gas leaking pellets as she falls, and bursting as they hit the surface of the chemicals, obscuring the surface of the vat with the yellow gas, but you can still hear the sound of her drowning, while giving off a disturbing uncontrollable laugh even as the gas and chemicals choke her to death, mixing with the sound of Jokers own triumphant laugh.
"No!"
yells the Batman through the unbearable pain in his side. He takes out his own grappling hook, puts on one of his gas masks, and fires it, swinging down below the obscuring cloud of laughing gas and out the other side, holding a still-laughing Jackie.
And as the Joker sees his sidekick his laugh fades and a single thought comes to mind.
"Wait, why is she yellow?"
Then Batgirl hits him from behind, knocking him unconscious and running over to Batman.
But as she nears Batman and see's Jackie she slows and her face turns from one of worry, to one of shock. Still steaming slightly from the chemicals, much of Jackie's costume has been burned away, her skin stained yellow, her hair dyed green, and a smile stretched beyond that of a normal person that even now emits a exhausted, insane laugh.
But worst of all is her eyes, now a soulless red just like the Jokers, but there's no spark of humanity left in those eyes, just the eyes of someone whose mind has snapped completely.
"We failed"
says Batman; still clutching his side where the cards cut him
"We need to get her to a hospital"
he struggles to stand, takes some pellets out of his belt, and tosses them at the Joker, which explode in a purple gas. He then slings Joker over his shoulder
"You carry her, ive got Joker."
Batgirl snaps out of it.
"Right"
and she slings Jackie's arm over her shoulder and together they make their way back down the elevator where Batman presses a button on his belt, causing the Batmobile to crash through the wall and come to a stop in front of him. He puts Joker in the back, and then clutching his side to slow the bleeding he gets in the drivers seat.
"You sure you're OK to drive?"
asks Batgirl.
"Just look after Joker's sidekick."
He replies as he takes some medical equipment from one of the compartments, and quickly bandages his wound while Batgirl gently puts Jackie in the back seat next to Joker, And they speed off to the hospital, dropping off Joker at the police station since it was on the way.
A security guard see's the Batmobile pull up in front of the hospital and runs up to it as Batman opens the door, and the security guard points his gun at him.
"Batman, why are you here? Explain yourself."
He see's the bandages, lowering the gun
"You're hurt."
"I'm fine, she's the one who needs help"
Batgirl helps the giggling Jackie out of the Batmobile. The guard backs away slightly in repulsion.
"The joker doused her in some chemicals. She needs medical attention immediately."
The security guards expression softens, and he pulls out his walkie talkie.
"This is security, The Batman just dropped off a girl who's been doused in some kind of Joker toxin. She's hurt bad and I need a stretcher out here pronto."
Batman gives him one last look, and drives off.
Bruce sits at his computer, a fresh set of bandages around his wound, trying to find out the extent of the damage caused by the chemicals, and if there's any chance of curing her.
"Any breakthroughs yet master Wane?"
"Nothing yet Alfred, it seems the chemicals have altered her genetic makeup. I don't know if there's anything I can do at this point. "
"Sir if I may say so, this may be one of those times when have to accept that not everyone can be saved."
"Well not for lack of trying."
Bruce replies
"Of course master Bruce. But I'm just saying, be prepared for that eventuality. This is joker we're talking about after all."
"I know Alfred."
He gets up and starts walking
"Off so soon?"
"I need a more recent sample."
"Sir, I think batman should take it easy for awhile, the last thing you need right now is to go jumping around on rooftops"
"That's why I'm letting Bruce Wayne take care of this one."
Alfred smiles
"I'll get the car".
They arrive at the hospital, and while Alfred goes to park the car Bruce heads inside. The head doctor is there to meet him.
"Ahh, Mr. Wayne. I'm so glad you could stop by. It just warms my heart to see people with such a genuine interest I helping the city of Gotham."
"Just wanted to see how things were going."
"Oh you don't have to worry. We're putting all of your generous donations to good use."
says the doctor. Bruce, getting down to business, replies
"You know, I heard that there was a girl who had been covered in a new form of Joker venom, is it anything we should be worried about?"
"Ahh yes, that would be miss Jackie Ryans. Honestly it is rather worrying. We've never seen anything like it, and so far she hasn't responded to any of our usual detox methods. And, well... normally when someone gets sent here because of Joker, it's because they inhaled a relatively small dosage through a gas, but not with her. No she was drowning in the stuff, And I mean literally drowning. Why the closest case we've ever seen was the Joker himself! Now normally I would say that she's lucky to be alive, but…"
"What is it? Whats wrong with her?"
"Well it's not so much what's wrong, as what's right. Despite certain, disfigurements, she seems perfectly healthy. Like bizarrely so for someone who went through what she must have. But small miracles I suppose. So for now I'm more worried about what kind of mental scarring the whole incident might have caused, although we're keeping her sedated for now."
"So how are her parents taking it?"
"Not well im afraid, but then who could blame them. If anything like that had happened to my daughter id probably try and track down that maniac and take care of him personally"
"Is it really that bad doctor?"
"Well... perhaps you should see for yourself. This is her room here."
He opens the door and motions for Bruce to go in first. They enter and see Jackie sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed. He walks over to her bedside and secretly collects a blood sample.
"I can't imagine what she must be going through, what she still has to go through."
Says the doctor.
"There have been so many times, when I've wished we live in a world without all these criminals and lunatics running around like they own the place. Because this is what happens. Innocent lives get caught in the crossfire, and there's nothing we can do about it. Personally I'm happy we have the Batman. Someone has to stand up to them, someone who actually has a chance. Gotham PD may try their best, but they're fooling themselves trying to think they don't need someone like the Batman."
Bruce backs away from the bed
"Well let's just hope it doesn't stay that way. You know if I were you I'd keep a closer eye on her, the Joker might try and kidnap her again."
"Huh? Why would he do that?"
"I don't know, but better safe than sorry I guess."
"Maybe your right Mr. Wayne. Until we know more about why he would do something like this in the first place, it probably is better to play it safe. I'll see what I can do."
Bruce smiles and makes his way back out of the hospital to Alfred and the car.
"I trust everything went well?"
Aays Alfred.
"I got the sample and managed to convince them that she needs some extra protection."
"Well as long as Jokers still in Arkham, we shouldn't have to worry about her too much. I'll make the arrangements to make sure she gets the best care available."
"I just hope it's that simple Alfred."
They drive back to the manor where Batman gets to work studying the new sample.
That night, at Arkham asylum, one of the guards talks to Joker about Jackie.
"That was a pretty sick thing you did Joker, even for you."
"Really? I didn't know you were a fan of my work. I'd give you an autograph but I'm kinda tied up right now"
he says motioning to his straitjacket.
"But I'm curious, what was it exactly that was so horrendously horrible that it deserves such recognition? I always appreciate honest feedback, lets me know when I'm on the right track."
"I'm talking about that girl you nearly drowned in those weird chemicals of yours you lunatic."
"Ooohhhh… you mean Jackie, such a sweet girl, but if she was gonna be my sidekick she had to look the part. "
"WHAT!! SHE'S YOUR SIDEKICK!!"
"Well I wouldn't go wasting my good looks on just anyone."
The guard gets out his phone and calls the police department
"Gotham pd, what's your emergency."
"Hi, this is Richard Chesterfield of the Arkham security division. There was a girl at the hospital; Batman had dropped her off, names Jackie, drowned in Joker toxin or something."
"Uhh, yes, Jackie Ryans, she's right here in the database."
"Well apparently she's Jokers sidekick."
"...And how do you know this?"
"Because Joker just told me so."
"...I'll notify the proper authorities."
Back at the hospital, the security guy who had first taken Jackie from the Batman, sits in the corner of the dark hospital room overlooking a still sleeping Jackie. A single window casting eerie shadows across the room. His head droops with exhaustion, then snaps back up as he tries to stay awake. He looks at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand, its 3am. He sighs and rubs his face with one hand, then leans back in his chair and drifts off to sleep.
But then he hears stifled giggling, and slowly opening his eyes, he sees a face half cast in shadow a few inches away from his own, with a giant smile and unblinking eyes.
"AHHHHHHH!"
he screams as he tries to back away from the face, but he's already against the wall so he has nowhere to go. Jackie pulls back a bit and laughs, her back hunched slightly and arms hanging out in front of her almost limply. She then tilts her head sideways and smiles a creepy smile at the guard before leaping back and perching on the foot board of her bed and laughing.
"Oh, your awake."
He says while clutching his chest.
"Your name's Jackie right?"
she just stares at him. Not a hint of recognition in her creepy blood-red eyes.
"You're at the hospital; you've been through a terrible ordeal."
She just snickers at that.
The security guard gets up.
"Just, stay here alright? I'm going to go get a doctor. Don't move."
He walks out the door, locking it behind him, and heads down the hall a ways to the wards front desk. He just makes it to the desk when he hears sirens, and the sound of running feet coming towards him.
He turns around and see's two police officers and one doctor booking it his way.
"No wait you don't know that!"
yells the doctor, when he sees the security guard and yells at him.
"What are you doing out here!"
"She's awake, I was getting a doctor."
"AND YOU LEFT HER ALONE!"
There's a crash as Jackie kicks the door right off it's hinges. Passing through the doorway, she looks over and waves at the security guard.
"There she is!"
and the two police officers run after her.
"What's going on?! Why are they after her?!"
the doctor grabs the security guard and looks him in the eye.
"Because she's jokers sidekick!"
Jackie stands there giggling as the cops run up and point their guns at her, but the doctor comes in from behind and forcefully lowers one of the cops guns.
"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING; she's just a little girl! She's been through a traumatic experience; you're only making things worse!"
"We can't take any chances, she going to have to come with us."
Jackie laughs harder at this.
"Well fine! But you don't have to treat her like this! See she's being perfectly co-operative."
"Your right, im sorry. Its just that whenever the Joker gets involved it's hard to.."
"Joke-er…"
Says Jackie, with a hint of recognition coming back to her eyes.
"What did she just say?"
"That's riiiight, I remember now. That pasty faced lunatic almost killed me."
"....Well, either way I'm afraid you'll have to come with us."
says one of the police officers
"Oh. ok... WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD! I've got to avenge myself. Make the joker suffer for what he did to me."
She raises her fist with righteous fury.
"On what is soon to be Ditkos grave! I swear that I will have my revenge on that crazy crime clown. Prepare your bladder for imminent release joker. Because I'm coming after you with many angry thoughts! But first I need a name, something that will strike terror into the hearts of all those who dare oppose me. Something that says, I'm here to destroy you, but with a sense of fun! …. hey!"
One of the cops handcuffs her.
"Kid, leave the crime fighting to the police."
"Hmm, maybe your right. Maybe I should just let you guys handle this, I'm sure there's a lot of reasons why I should just forget about the Joker and get on with my life, but then again trying to think of those reasons makes my head hurt. So someone bang a gong! It's time to test my might."
She leaps into a forward roll, bounces to her feet, and strains against the handcuffs. With a loud snap the chain breaks
"Neat-o!"
she says looking at the handcuffs.
The police point their guns at her.
"I'm gonna run now kay?"
she says with a cheeky grin, and she sprints down the hall, with the police hot on her tail, she skids around the corner and continues running until she passes by a window, overshoots it a bit, doubles back, and looks out the window. She opens it as the cops round the corner.
"Lets see if flight is one of my new superpowers. heh heh heh"
and she leaps out the window
"noo!!!" yells one of the cops as he looks out the window to see Jackie holding onto the windowsill of a window 2 floors down, and laughing manically she smashes through the window and climbs inside.
"Call in backup."
says one of the cops.
"Follow me, she's down in the kitchen."
says the security guard.
Jackie brushes off some stray bits of glass
"Why am I so amazing!"
then she smells something in the air
"hmmm."
She starts sniffing around the kitchen, climbing over grills and knocking over everything, including a giant jar of pickles, until she stops in front of a large cabinet, half eaten pickle in hand and a skeptical look on her face.
She tries turning the handle, but its locked, so she drops her half eaten pickle and walks away.
Then runs back, picks up the cabinet and smashes it on a counter. With a determined look on her face she sifts through the rubble, until her hand closes around something, and with a mighty heave she pulls it from the splintered wreak that was once a condiments cabinet. A jar, but what you may ask is in this jar? She turns it around and reads the label. Peanut Butter. She breaks into a squee face as she hugs the jar close, and twisting off the top of the jar she exits the obliterated kitchen.
She casually strolls to the elevator; happily eating her jar of peanut butter and getting shocked looks from everyone she passes. She enters the elevator along with a nurse, just as the cops and security guard exit the elevator adjacent to hers. She gives them a cheeky wave as the doors close.
The nurse sees that the cops were after Jackie and attempts to press the open doors button, but Jackie grabs her hand with a vice like grip before she can reach the button, and slowly turns her head to look at the nurse with those crazy red eyes and a wide maniacal smile on her face.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
the nurse gives a terrified look and backs away to the far corner of the elevator, where she cowers as elevator music plays in the background. With a "ding!" the elevator doors open on the ground floor.
"Well this is my stop, it was nice meeting you."
Jackie says in a good natured sort of voice and she walks out, the nurse moves to the elevators entrance and peaks around the doorway, watching Jackie walk off, and she realizes that Jackie left peanut butter on her hand when she grabbed her, and the nurse grimaces and wipes it off on her uniform.
The other elevator opens revealing the cops, one of whom shouts
"FREEZE!"
Jackie stops with a quizzical look on her face.
"Put your hands up!"
She does so, her brow furrowing evilly. Then in the blink of an eye she spins around to face the cops, throws the peanut butter jar, hitting one of the cops squarely in the chest, smashing the jar and knocking the wind out of the cop. Then she leaps strait up in the air, bounces off the ceiling, and with an elegant flip in the air, dodging bullets fired by the cops, she lands on the other cops face with her hands, bringing him crashing to the ground and knocking him out.
Crouching over the unconscious cop for a moment like some feral child her gaze turns to the other cop and she laughs. She stands, staggering slightly like someone who's had a few too many drinks and almost doubled over in laughter.
Then she breaks into a sprint strait at the other cop, who aims his gun at her but she reaches him and pushes the gun away from her, causing the stray bullet to hit a florescent light, which shatters and sprays a cascade of sparks over some of the terrified bystander's in the lobby. Jackie twists the cops gun hand, causing him to drop the gun while yelling in pain.
He staggers back slightly, clutching his hand.
"You know, now would be a great time to give up."
She says in an infuriatingly condescending tone while pacing back and forth slightly.
"I mean your partners down and you're hopelessly outmatched. And it's not like im going to be doing anything that bad. Just a little bit of vigilante-ism. Wouldn't it be grand if I just up and murdered that maniac? Got some revenge for all the horrible things he did to me and this fair city? "
"We don't need another Batman you sick freak."
The cop hisses.
"Oh right! There's a protocol for these one man, I mean girl, wars on crime… I need a costume."
The police man tries to tackle her but she just steps out of the way.
"Well this was fun, but I've gotta run!"
and she sprints off cackling, bursting through the doors just as the backup police cars screech to a halt in front of the hospital. She leaps over the cars onto a streetlamp, then off into a dark alley and out of sight.