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JUKEBOX ROUND 2: YEARS&YEARS X SEVENTEEN
Stats:
Published:
2019-04-28
Words:
3,059
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
65
Bookmarks:
1
Hits:
857

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Summary:

Vernon is afraid of love. Can Chan reach his heart before it stops raining?

Notes:

based on: years & years - memo
- this song has such a soft lust feeling, i really hope my fic matches it. please enjoy this ♡

[ let me take your heart
love you in the dark,
no one has to see
i want more, i want more ]

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The rain was falling softly yet its sounds echoed in the cafe room, dancing along with the music playing above Chan’s head. His hand tapped onto the counter table, following the beat of the song as he replayed the dance showcase from last night in his mind. He grinned, remembering his solo stage. His head began to dance too before he turned to look at the rain. They were starting to splash onto the window and his smile loosened. It’s definitely a nice evening.

After his order finally came, Chan found himself sitting on an empty chair, not minding the person sitting next to him. He took a sip of his cold drink, leaning over the table where he peeked up at the window and into the cloudy night sky. He flinched when a few rain painted against the window. He suddenly turned to look at the person next to him, feeling those eyes staring at him and hoping that he wouldn’t see that.

Vernon had been admiring the rain this whole time until Chan came and sat next to him. He smiled at him, as Chan did the same. His eyes looked away, back onto his opened sketchbook where he was finishing up a sketch of a person standing in the rain. Chan couldn’t help to follow his eyes, nodding with an impressive frown before he turned back at the rain.

“Isn’t it pretty?” Chan suddenly asked, his lips forming a smile. Vernon looked up quickly before he looked at the voice. Chan turned and met his eyes as he continued. “The rain.”

“Y-yeah, it is.” Vernon nodded, showing an awkward smile.

“I hate it when people use it as a negative thing, you know? I find it calming.” Chan didn’t look away for a few seconds, watching Vernon flustered, his cheeks burning up a bit but he smiled quickly.

“Hey, didn’t you perform yesterday at the dance showcase?” Vernon asked, his fingers rubbing against the spine of the pencil in his hand.

“You went?” Chan’s voice rosed in surprise. He never thought he would be discussing about it with anyone but his dance friends. Vernon was nodding and Chan let him continue.

“Yeah. A friend invited me to go see. It was so cool with all of that dancing.” Vernon looked at Chan with his shoulders coming closer to his chest. “You were cool.”

“I-I was?” Chan beamed astonishedly, a chuckle riding his stuttered words. “Thanks.” He quickly sipped his drink as he looked at his watch. “Hey, if you ever wanna learn some dance from me, just come to the dance department.”

Chan turned to look at Vernon as he smiled. Vernon nodded once, his eyes thinking to the side and back at him. “I’d love that.”

---

“I asked someone out.” Chan confessed when he got back to his shared apartment that night. Seungkwan, his one and only best dancer friend and roommate, had just came out of the shower to hear his sweet little story (though it seemed rather small talk to him) as he was drying his wet hair with a towel.

“For once?” Seungkwan eyes widened. There went his exaggerating reaction again, Chan thought. He’s used to it though because it showed that he actually cares. Chan had poured some juice into a cup in the kitchen and he took a sip at the thought of what he really meant.

“Actually, no.” His finger pointed out from the hand that was holding the cup. He was in the middle of swallowing the juice that savored in his mouth when Seungkwan rolled his eyes, turning away with his hand still fluffing his hair.

“I knew it.”

“You didn’t let me finish.” Chan set the cup down and Seungkwan walked up to him, leaning onto the counter across of him. Seungkwan smiled, blinking as if he was ready to hear Chan’s story. “He was at the dance showcase last night and we just had a conversation about it then he said I was cool. I was just “wow” because I had a solo stage and- I’m just still blown about it.”

“Okay?” Seungkwan let his hand out at Chan, showing a funny frown. “So you asked him out because of that?”

“I said I’d invite him to the dance studio if he wants to learn some dance.”

Seungkwan saw how bright his face shined so he clapped slowly, smiling with it. “I am so proud of you after all of those years of not dating.”

“Whatever, Seungkwan.” Chan grinned as he laughed. It’s just been a while. Dating hadn’t crossed his mind because there wasn’t anyone in particular that he likes. Something just radiated from Vernon that he hoped they would cross paths again.

“What?” Seungkwan wasn’t wrong. He picked up a few tangerines from the bowl in the middle of the counter and rolled onto his hand. “I haven’t seen you date since we entered college.”

“Maybe you should work harder too.”

“I do, at dancing.” Seungkwan shrugged, holding three tangerines now. He jumped, holding that hand out. “Look, I’m Mewtwo.”

Chan giggled, shaking his head. “This is why no one wants to date you.”

“Hey, I have creative ideas!” Seungkwan argued back then his voice quiet down. “I can date myself too.”

“Sure, sure.” Chan smirked and walked past him, making his way to the bathroom but he stopped at his tracks, realizing the biggest mistake he has ever done in his college year life. “Oh my god, I forgot to ask for his name!”

“Who? The boy you met?” Seungkwan asked, turning around with the tangerines still in his hand.

Chan ran out the door while Seungkwan couldn’t stop him in time as he shook his head, wondering how he’s going to find him this late.

Next morning, Seungkwan woke up, realizing there were not milk left. He had forgotten about buying more since yesterday morning. He still poured cereal into his bowl and took a bite without milk when he heard the door open.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Where did you go?” Seungkwan asked after their awkward greeting.

“Dance studio.”

“Okay. Welcome home.” He said nonchalantly before he took another bite. Chan squinted at it then he stopped chewing. “Pretend there’s milk in it.”

Chan laughed, realizing that there wasn’t any milk left for Seungkwan to eat with. It happens often that sometimes, he’d want to go buy some for him.

“You should’ve texted me to go get some on the way back.” Chan’s voice was mumbling with his giggle when Seungkwan walked past him. He turned around and glared at him with his sharp eyes.

“Yeah, if I actually remember to do that, which I didn’t.” Seungkwan chewed his food like gum. Chan hid his laughing lips behind his palm, watching his roommate sit on the edge of the couch. He didn’t hear Seungkwan’s curse of “You didn’t even find him, what is he laughing for?” Seungkwan sighed when Chan was heading out. “Maybe you can use that time to finish your paper.”

Chan looked at him, his eyes widening. “Oh shit! You’re right!”

He took his shoes off and ran into his room to collect his things before he headed out. Seungkwan shook his head again when the shutting door echoed in their apartment.

---

Chan sighed in relief when he stepped out of the cafe. He was glad to get it done in just a few hours as he walked to the bus stop down the corner of the street. The sky was already dark as he shivered a little before he looked next to him to see Vernon holding onto an umbrella, waiting for the bus too.

“Hey?”

“Hey?” Vernon said back, almost surprised to see Chan there. His hand was in the air as if he was waving at him. He saw the umbrella in his hand then he let it back down. “I heard it’s supposed to rain tonight.”

“Is it?” Chan looked up at the sky then back at Vernon. “That’s right. I’m Chan.”

“Oh, I’m Vernon.” And that was when Chan mumbled a giggle.

“Isn’t it funny how we forgot to ask for each other’s names?” Vernon didn’t have a response to it but Chan eyes couldn’t leave him. Maybe he was already into him. “I know this might sound weird, but do you wanna learn some dance at my dance studio?”

“You have your own dance studio?”

“Oh, I mean- The dance studio I use.” Chan giggled, seeing Vernon smiling wider. It made his heart raced so he walked backwards, taking a few steady steps before he turned away.

Weird, that was how Vernon thought of Chan, but he made him laughed when Chan took off with his hands in his pockets and a cheeky grin turned to him, asking him to come along.

---

“That’s really different.” Vernon nodded with his hand at his chin holding a pencil. He nodded before he set the hand on the dance floor where a few of his sketches were scattered. Despite being a little insecure about his artworks, he always love doing the finishing touches of them. “You get to create your own dances as exams rather than doing writing exams.”

“Isn’t it the same for studio arts?”

“Yeah. We have to submit a few portfolios and projects. I don’t think we ever do exams, or even quizzes.”

“I guess that makes us a little special. We don’t get to do the traditional lecture and exams like how we did for the general courses.”

“You’re right.” Vernon turned to Chan where their eyes met. This time, it was electrifying. Chan was still smiling at him but it softened when he noticed the careful blinks of Vernon’s that were waving at him. He thought it could hear the sound of his breath and it made him feel as if he was underwater. Vernon suddenly turned away, back at his work as he continued. “I actually have a friend who’s in the same department as you.”

“Who is it?” Chan asked, his eyes still stuck at Vernon.

“Seungkwan.”

“Seungkwan?! What? He’s my roommate.” Chan wondered about how many times he had to scream in shock today. He hoped that would be the last one. He looked away, not noticing Vernon’s little smile. “That’s why you were there the other day?”

Vernon nodded and looked at him, his lips creasing wider. “Anyway, I’m glad I finally visited. I would have switched majors if I had a little more confidence in myself.”

Chan’s heart moved, feeling a little sad that he would have fallen for Vernon a long time ago. Instead of throwing shameful remarks, he joined Vernon, smiling like he really meant the words he’s saying next. “I understand that a whole lot. When I first started, I felt tiny watching everyone diligently doing their best. I reflected a lot on what I really want, watching myself dance and bam! I realize this was what I really want to do: dancing with satisfaction.”

“That-” A pause; Chan didn’t like the hesitating silence and wished to hear Vernon’s voice again. Vernon smirked, starstrucked at the way Chan’s eyes beamed at him. “-is so cool.”

“That’s the second time you said that.” Chan suddenly recalled. It made his heart race again. He wished Vernon to keep making him blush yet he didn’t know how to do it. He gulped and giggled into a smile. ”Should we continue dancing?”

Chan had taught some basic moves from his dance routine that he does on the daily. Vernon did great for the first few moves until he couldn’t angle his arms correctly when Chan repeated the degree that he should be at, guiding from the mirrors in front of them.

Chan knew he had to help when he walked behind Vernon, helping him stretch his arms out. His hand guided Vernon’s from below, him whispering a “There you go.” against his ear. Chan realized their position, his hand slowly sliding against Vernon’s palms at that second. Vernon could feel the heat coming from Chan’s body on his back as Chan almost grasped his hands, his fingers beginning to hand between the spaces of Vernon’s.

Vernon took a step forward, letting his hands rest back at their side as he turned around. Chan’s face was red. It’s hard to tell whether it was from dancing or that he was actually flustered, but Vernon sighed breathlessly. “I gotta go right now. Send me your videos, if you can?”

“Sure. I’ll do that.” Chan watched him quickly gather his things before he left the room. There was a moment of silence before Chan laughed at himself, wondering how cute Vernon could be.

---

They started to hang out more (with Seungkwan, who kept blush-eyeing on them, wondering how they crossed path. He felt like a proud friend who “hooked” them up), spending time in each other’s departments, and learning of each other’s interests. Chan would invite Vernon to watch some dance competitions and showcases while Vernon would invite Chan to some art galleries. Vernon would use his assignments as excuses for bringing him along though Chan thought it meant something else. A sneaky smile would follow when Vernon turned away from asking.

Everything seemed to go right with the potential of loving. Chan believed so from their intimate moments of kissing under the moonlight in his darkened dance studio, Vernon’s candle-lit art studio and the quiet library where no one could see them. Sharing a giggle afterwards, Chan felt them becoming one at each moment.

One night, Chan invited Vernon over to his shared apartment. Seungkwan had gone out and would be back late that night. They were just in the middle of watching a movie, sharing a few laughs and popcorn fight when they realized how long they’ve held hands since the last playful fight.

Chan was looking at their locked hands before he looked at Vernon, his eyes whispering his name where the lights from the screen TV sparkled his. Vernon had to turn too, feeling the strong lustful look from Chan. He knew he wanted the same.

Chan’s other hand reached behind Vernon’s neck, pulling him close to him as Vernon followed. Their eyes closed as their lips began to dance along each other’s. Chan unlocked their hands as his jaw moved, both hands now at the same spot to keep him there. Vernon’s heart was racing but he found his hands at Chan’s chest, both palms resting against it.

Vernon couldn’t explain the way Chan could breathe between each biting kiss. He really hoped he won’t stop.

Chan moved his hands and set them on Vernon’s shoulders, slowly laying him down as Chan hovered over him. Vernon breathed for air as his hand reached for Chan’s hair, his body suddenly feeling heated from Chan’s wet lips.

A few seconds went by when Vernon suddenly opened his eyes with his lips pausing at Chan’s every touch. Chan had to move back a little, just enough to see how unsettled Vernon looked.

“Something wrong?” Chan whispered. His voice sounded scared as Vernon didn’t nod or shook.

“I-I have to go.” Vernon quickly push Chan aside and walked toward the door before Chan could catch up to him.

Chan was standing in the middle of the living room, his eyes still stuck at the door as he could hear the rain now. He could feel a storm heading his way as he realized, how never knew where Vernon was going.

---

It took more than a few days to finally find Vernon. He was sitting at the same spot in that cafe when Chan was waiting for his order. It felt like deja vu as he made his way to him, every step hesitating to walk.

Honestly, Seungkwan didn’t ask about Vernon, Chan knew. He understood that he shouldn’t meddle into his friends’ love life but somehow, his line of understanding the way Vernon was, was the key to love him. Chan was confused because he didn’t have all of the answers he needed, and he was glad to have found Vernon when he was ready to see him.

Chan sighed a long but quiet one before he sat next to Vernon. Vernon took a glance, almost gasping. He got up, preparing to leave when Chan held onto his wrist.

“Don’t go yet. I have something to say.” Chan’s eyes were filled with sincere and Vernon couldn’t refuse his request. He sat back down, avoiding eye contact. Silence fell for a minute as Chan admired the rain that had been falling all day. Vernon had been on his mind since then, and as he collected his thoughts, he shot a smile and asked loud enough through the music that was playing in the cafe where they first met. “What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing, I’m just-” A sigh went by. Vernon looked up at the evening sky, reminded of their first encounter. He noticed how the rain resembled them; falling but disappearing until they meet again against the windows, cement, trees, roofs, and the leaves of flowers. He softly smiled as he continued. “Afraid of loving you.”

Vernon finally looked at Chan when he finished. Chan’s heart softened when he saw that smile, healing his wounded heart. He wanted Vernon to keep looking at him, and his heart bursted when he never left his. Those loving eyes, how could he not have seen that?

“Haven’t you been loving me this whole time?” Chan whispered, his thumb rubbing on his cold drink. “What’s making you stop?”

“I’ve never been in love before. I’m afraid that I can’t love you enough.”

That was when the rain began to bloom Chan’s heart. His lips finally resembled Vernon’s.

“Then can I teach you?”

---

Their feet were dancing that night in Chan’s dance studio where the only source of light was from the wall of tall windows, adjacent to the mirrors. Their bodies were against each others, stealing a few breathy kisses from here and there.

As they returned to Chan’s apartment afterwards, Vernon was rolled up against Chan’s chest where they had taken a short nap. He looked up at his softly breathing boy and wrapped his arm tightly over his body as he realized, loving is all about taking that chance. With that chance right now, Vernon wished to never leave Chan’s arms.

Notes:

thank you for reading this far! please let me know how you think of this!