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Remembrance of Things Past

Summary:

After Steve becomes Captain America, Peggy teaches him to fight. Maybe she'll learn something from him too. But when they are alone, will they still remember those lessons?

Notes:

This was my first Steggy fic (written in 2015), and it still gives me a lot of feelings.
I've divided the story into chapters because I thought almost 8k was too long for a one shot. I intend to update it often, because it's already written and I don't really feel like revising it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Comments are always welcome.

Chapter Text

[Italy, 1943]

The sound of four gunshots echoed through Howard Stark’s workshop.

"Yes, I think it works.” With a disdainful look, Peggy dropped the still smoking gun on a table and left the room without bothering to look back.

Once she was sure she was out of anyone's sight —of Steve's sight, especially— she leaned against the wall and took a deep breath, trying to put some order into her thoughts.

She was angry. Really, really angry. The image of Steve kissing that blonde girl kept haunting her and making her blood boil. She knew it didn't make any sense, she knew she had no right to feel betrayed, but still, she couldn't help it. She had thought Steve Rogers was different. She had thought... Well, never mind, because she had been obviously, painfully wrong. He was just like all the rest, and he deserved to... Oh.

She had just fired four shots at Captain America.

Oh, God. She was completely insane.

Of course, she hadn't mean to hurt him —not much, at least— and she knew she wouldn't. Steve had one of Howard's shields, and anything designed by Howard was undoubtedly bulletproof. But even so, she thought now, it had been dangerous and nonsensical. She had risked the life of the nation's greatest soldier just because he had kissed another woman. For God's sake, they were nothing but—what? Co-workers? Friends? At any rate, whomever Steve decided to kiss had nothing to do with her. And even if it had, wasn't his safety more important than her hurt pride? What would he think about her now? Probably, that she was a silly girl unable to handle her emotions and act like a soldier.

"Oh, God," she whispered, burying her face in her hands. "What's wrong with me?"

***

"I have some ideas about the uniform."

"Whatever you want, pal."

Steve stood next to Howard for an entire minute, motionless. Good heavens, he thought. Peggy Carter was rather scary sometimes, but... God, what a woman.

And she was walking away.

Because he had been stupid enough to kiss another girl. Well, it had been her who started the kiss, actually, but that wasn't the point. The point was that Peggy Carter was walking away from him. "Oh, God." He exchanged looks with Howard, who muttered a quick "Good luck!" as Steve started running after the woman.

***

Peggy heard his footsteps a few seconds before seeing him. Her first reaction was to walk away. She couldn't tell whether she was more ashamed or angry, or both, but she definitely was not in the mood for—

"Agent Carter!"

She looked back. He was right behind her. Of course, he had super-human speed, damn it. Still, she didn't stop walking. Perhaps if she ignored him, he would leave her alone.

"Peggy!" he called again. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him stretch his arm towards her, and she instinctively prepared to shake him off when he grabbed her. But nothing happened. Surprised, she turned to face him. He had stopped a few steps behind, and there he stood now, his palms up and a look of... could it be regret? No, that was not po—

"Peggy, I'm sorry."

Steve was feeling extremely stupid. Not only had he taken the liberty of calling her Peggy, but he had also tried to grab her. What was he going to do? Hold her against her will and force her to listen to him? God, a few months ago he wouldn't even have been able to run behind her, and they both knew it. Fortunately, he had stopped before touching her, but he knew she had seen his gesture. He was a complete moron.

But she had stopped. And she was looking at him. It was now or never.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I shouldn't have questioned your friendship with Howard. Even if you two were really... Well, I mean..." He could feel the heat of a flush running up his face, but he forced himself to speak. "What I'm trying to say is that your private life is none of my business, so... I'm sorry."

Peggy was staring at him, her beautiful red lips curved into a surprised "o". Steve decided to consider the fact that she had not interrupted him —or punched him— as a positive sign, so he continued talking. "And I'm sorry about— about that kiss," he added. "But I really didn't see it coming, and—well, I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I just didn't know how to stop her without being rude." He lowered his head. "I guess I really know nothing about women."

Peggy stood there, dumbfounded, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that, after she had fired a gun at him, Steve was apologising to her.

As she tried to think of something to say, the remembrance of another apology hit her mind. It was back in New York, the day that Steve had been injected with the serum. A HYDRA agent had stolen the last serum sample and was running away on a car after having killed Dr. Erksine. Peggy had tried to stop him, but Steve —that new, big, strong Steve— had pushed her aside so the car wouldn't hit her. Peggy had been angry. "I had him!" she had shouted. Of course, she didn't expect a reply, although she wouldn't have been surprised with a cocky reply arguing that she should be thankful or something. However, Steve's answer had been a simple "sorry". As if he had done something wrong. As if he didn't doubt that Peggy could have stopped the man. Peggy had liked that "sorry". And it was happening again now.

The initial astonishment was turning into something warmer, but before she could tell what it was, guilt and embarrassment appeared as she remembered the four shots. Her cheeks went almost as red as her lips while she spoke:

"Steve..." she started. She realised she was looking at her feet and she raised her head to look him in the eye. "Captain Rogers," she continued, trying to keep her voice cold and professional, "I'm the one who should be apologising, not you. In the first place because, as you've said about me, your private life is none of my business. But more importantly, there is no excuse for having fired a gun at you. My behaviour was dangerous and childish, and for that I apologise."

It was Steve's turn to be surprised.

"Agent Carter, I've seen you shooting before. Your marksmanship is impeccable. You were aiming at the shield, not at me."

But Peggy couldn't shake the guilt off so quickly. She frowned.

"What if the shield had not resisted the shots? I couldn't be sure."

"Come on," Steve said, smiling. "It's Howard's stuff we are talking about. We both knew it would work."

This time, Peggy's lips curved into a smile and her frown disappeared.

"I guess that's true", she admitted. "But still, I'm sorry."

"So am I," he returned.

Chapter Text

It was dinner-time, and the Howling Commandos were hungry and thirsty. Plates of potatoes and mugs of beer didn't stay full for too long. Everybody was laughing, eating and talking at the same time. Steve was the only one who was silent, although he laughed and ate as the others. He was just as happy as them, or probably more. For the first time, he felt he had a place where he belonged and a purpose in life. And, besides, Peggy was sitting right in front of him, and she was smiling.

"Hey, Captain!" Bucky's voice interrupted his thoughts. "You've got to tell these folks again how you knocked Red Skull down and punched him until he ran away like a little girl."

Steve felt Peggy's eyes looking at him and flushed.

"Come on, Bucky, you've already told them a hundred times, they don't need me to tell it again."

A chorus of laughs confirmed his point, but Bucky didn't seem to mind it.

"But you are the one who did it!" he insisted.

"Precisely, and you are the one who adds a bunch of inventions that make the story interesting and completely unreal".

"Well, it sounds like an interesting enough story," Peggy said, suddenly. "I don't think you need to make things up in order to make it better."

The Howling Commandos went quiet –or as quiet as they could be, at least– as she spoke, nodding and grinning and sharing complicit gazes.

"It is indeed, ma'am," said Bucky, winking at her. "Haven't you told her, Steve?"

"There is nothing to tell, really," he managed to say. "You were there, Buck, you know it".

"Exactly, so I know what I'm talking about. Agent Carter, you should ask him to tell you the story when you two are alone. Stevie is too shy to talk in front of everybody, except when he sings nonsensical rhymes to sell war bonds, you know."

Steve shot a glance towards Bucky, but he decidedly ignored him and went on:

"In fact, you should tell her now, Steve. We have already finished dining, anyway. Isn't that right, pals?" he asked, giving a meaningful look to the rest of the Howling Commandos.

"Hey, I was just getting started," complained Dum Dum.

"Shut up, Dugan, you've had enough food for a week. Come on, folks, let's get out of here."

And he left the room nudging Steve in his way out. More or less reluctantly, the other commandos followed him.

"You'd better use your chance, Captain, or else I'll eat your diner as well as mine for a week at least," Dum Dum whispered while passing at his side. Steve didn't answer; he was too concentrated into keeping his face from burning hot with embarrassment.

After everybody left, an awkward silence fell upon them. Steve fixed his eyes on his plate while he desperately tried to find something intelligent to say.

Peggy tried to hide her smile. She was somewhat nervous, but he really looked as if he were about to bury his face in the mashed potatoes.

"So," she said, in a nonchalant tone, "it appears that now you have to tell me that story".

"It wasn't that much, really," Steve replied, still looking at the potatoes. "Schmidt appeared and gave some kind of crazy speech and took off his mask... and then I punched him, yes, but he punched me too when he got up, so I guess I didn't hit him too hard. I should have captured him, but I wasn't able to." He tightened his fists as he spoke. "He ran away and he is still out there, so no, there is nothing to tell but the fact that I couldn't beat him."

He had spoken in a low voice, but his frustration could be felt in his words nevertheless. Peggy stretched her arm and touched his hand in a gesture of support.

"You are the only one I know who can make Johann Schmidt run away," she assured, calmly. "But he can't run forever. Sooner or later you will catch him."

"And then, what?" Steve replied, bitterly. " I was lucky enough to push him to the ground this time, but it may not happen again. Colonel Phillips was right: they needed an army and they only got me. A super-soldier who doesn't even know how to fight. Let's face it: I can't defeat Red Skull." He lowered his head and clenched his jaw, trying to control his emotions.

Peggy clutched his hand in hers more tightly as she answered:

"Steve, Dr. Erskine was one of the most intelligent men in the world. He could have used the serum in a highly trained soldier, but instead he chose you. Do you think he didn't know what he was doing? It is true, you are not an army, but neither is Schmidt."

"I know that, and I'm grateful that Dr. Erskine trusted me. I am determined to do everything I can do to help win this war, but... I just don't know if that will be enough."

"I have faith in you, Steve."

For a moment, Steve's thoughts deviated from Red Skull to the warmth of Peggy's hands over his own and the earnestness of her beautiful brown eyes. But he immediately remembered Schmidt's cruel smirk and all the rest disappeared. He softly removed his hand from Peggy's.

"Thank you, Agent Carter," he said, "but sometimes faith is not enough. Back in Brooklyn, when I fought against those bullies, I knew I was the only one that would get hurt if I failed. But now– now it's not just me." He looked at her and she could feel the desperation in his eyes. "What would have happened if Schmidt hadn't run away? I'll tell you: he could have killed me, and then Bucky, and maybe then he would come and kill all of you." He realised he was almost shouting and lowered his voice. "I just... Maybe Dr. Erskine should have chosen somebody who knew how to fight."

Peggy let out a soft sigh.

"Nobody is born knowing everything, Captain. If you want to fight well, you have to learn first."

"I know," Steve admitted, "and I plan to ask Bucky to train me or something, but I... He's not..."

"Sargent Barnes knows how to fight, indeed, but I must say he doesn't exactly know how to teach," Peggy interrupted.

Steve couldn't help but smile. He remembered when, back in New York, Bucky tried to teach him boxing. Sixteen-year-old Steve wasn't very skilful, but Bucky wasn't exactly a master of patience, either. However, Steve had ended up learning some movements. The problem was that, weak as he was, they hadn't turned out really useful.

"Well," he said, coming back to reality, "I guess I'll have to give it a go."

"Or perhaps you could find someone who is actually qualified to instruct soldiers into martial arts," Peggy suggested, with an straightforward look.

"And who would that be, Agent?"

Peggy's eyes were shining as she spoke.

"Me."
There was a moment of silence while Steve carefully picked his words. He didn't want to offend her, but how was he going to fight her, even if it was only a training? He remembered the HYDRA agent who tried to steal the serum sample the day of his transformation. Steve had run after him by instinct, not knowing yet what he was able to do, and he had broken a submarine with his bare hands. The simple idea of hitting Peggy with just a third of that force made his blood run cold.

"Agent Carter, I promise I don't doubt your fighting ability, but... I don't think it's a good idea."

"And why is that?" Peggy shot him a sharp look, daring him to answer.

Steve cleared his throat, not knowing what to say or how to say it.

"I just... I don't want to harm you," he finally admitted.

Peggy exhaled a dissatisfied sigh. Always the same words, no matter what she did to prove she could stand the same as any man. Yes, she understood Steve, she knew he didn't mean to offend her but, all the same, the fact was that he didn't want to train with her because she was a woman. God, she was so tired of all that...

"Peggy," Steve interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes, Captain?" she answered, polite but cold.

Steve could see in her eyes that she was hurt, and he cursed himself for being incapable of saying anything right. Peggy's lips were tense, trying to hide her vexation. Damn, he was an asshole.

"Please, don't get me wrong," he tried again. "I know you are an excellent fighter. I still remember when you punched Hodge and sent him to the ground, and I sure wouldn't have wanted to be in his shoes," he smiled at the memory, but then his face went serious. "But the point is now I can lift a car with one hand. I don't even want to think about the damage I could inadvertedly inflict to anyone who just happens to be near me. Actually, that's why I haven't asked Bucky yet," he confessed, running his hand through his hair with a concerned gesture. "I couldn't live with myself knowing that I've hurt him, or you, but then again I can't just keep striving blindly, because if I don't stop Schmidt, well," he shook his head, "I don't want to imagine what would happen. But how am I supposed to defeat him if I don't even know how to protect the people I care about from me?" His voice almost broke in the last sentence.

"Oh, Steve." Peggy couldn't think of an answer. How was he able to leave her defenseless with his words like that? She could feel his despair, and she suddenly felt the urgent need to ease him and tell him everything was going to be okay. But they both were war kids, and they knew things were never so easy. She took his hand again.

"You can't always protect everyone; none of us can," she said. "But you have done great things. You saved Bucky and the rest of the 107th when nobody else could. I told you I have faith in you, Steve, and I really do." She looked directly into his eyes, trying to instil in him her own determination. "But if you want to protect others, you must be able to protect yourself first. And I can teach you," she assured, somewhat anxiously. "I've trained soldiers who were much stronger than me and I was never hurt –not unintentionally, at least," she added, her face darkening for a second. "So, please, let me help you."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Steve doubted, still uneasy.

"Steve, you said you couldn't live with yourself if you hurt any of us. Well, I..." she bite her bottom lip, feeling suddenly self-conscious, but took a deep breath and went on. "I couldn't live with myself either if you got hurt, or killed, because you didn't know how to defend yourself. So, Captain Rogers, you are training with me," she said, firmly.

Steve's heart quickened as he listened to Peggy. Her beautiful brown eyes were full of emotion as she spoke. God, there wasn't a woman like her in all the world, and she was worried about him. He couldn't help but smiling.

"Yes, ma'am. It'll be an honour to be trained by you."

Chapter Text

Steve was repenting from having accepted to train with her. She could see in the way he held his arms close to his body, unwilling to fight. She put her hands on her hips. Men.

She started to walk around him, in circles. Steve turned around to see her. He knew she wouldn't like it, but he couldn't stop himself from asking again:

"Do you really want to do this?"

Peggy rolled her eyes.

"I'll tell you a secret, Captain Rogers: men tend to think everything in body combat is about strength." She kept walking around him as she spoke. "However, this is not an arm-wrestling contest. Strength is nothing if you don't know how to use it... or how to dodge."

And she suddenly threw her leg forward and punched the back of Steve's left knee, drawing him off balance for a second. She used that time of confusion for tripping him up. As a result, Steve ended up on all fours just before her. Peggy put her forefinger on his back, visibly enjoying the situation although she tried to keep her face inexpressive.

"I could easily stab you right now if I wanted to," she said. Her smile was everything but innocent, and Steve felt a shiver running down his spine. After a few seconds of astonishment, he became conscious of his embarrassing position. He quickly sat down on the floor, looking at her with renewed wonder. He thought Peggy Carter was like a flame: beautiful, changing and dangerous to touch.

"Please, remind me never to drive you mad," he said, still bewildered. "I appreciate life too much."

Peggy suppressed a grin and extended her hand to help him up. He accepted it, still smiling.

"I think I've lost all my dignity right now," he joked.

This time, Peggy laughed openly.

"If it makes you feel better, any other soldier would have fallen on his face with the first kick," she commented.

Steve recovered his concerned expression.

"So would I if I were fighting against Schmidt," he said.

Peggy went serious too.

"We'll solve that," she assured.

Steve didn't feel so confident.

"How do you know?"

"I've told you: I have faith in you."

***

They had been training for hours. Peggy was sweating, and her hair was most probably a mess, but she didn't allow herself to stop. Steve wasn't tired thanks to the serum, and she wouldn't be the one who stopped the training if she could help it. She throw a punch against Steve's jaw, and she hit him. Her knuckles pained as if she had punched a brick wall, and she couldn't help letting out a low moan. Still, she didn't stop. She knew they hadn't much time left before Steve had his first mission with the Howling Commandos, and she wanted him to be ready, since she wouldn't be there to make sure everything was fine. She clenched his fists. Steve had proposed every soldier he had rescued to join the Howling Commandos, but he hadn't said a word to her. She had thought about asking him, but for some reason she was too afraid of a refusal. She frowned. She had never backed off for fear of a "no". She threatened with another punch but instead kicked him in the stomach. Steve let out a gasp, more surprised than pained, and the sound brought Peggy back to reality.

"You should have dodged that," she started, trying to catch her breath as she spoke. "You just have to..."

"Peggy," he interrupted, calmly.

"Yes, Captain?"

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"You are angry. Have I done anything wrong?"

Peggy shook her head.

"No. Nothing everybody else hadn't done before, at least."

Steve looked at her, confused. Peggy could see in his face that he felt that something wasn't right, but of course he couldn't tell what.

"You look tired" he said at last. "How long have we been training? Oh, no, it's almost sunset, you've got to be exhausted! I should have realised..."

"I'm okay," Peggy interrupted. "I'm the one who decides when the training ends, Captain."

"Sorry, ma'am," he answered, slightly embarrassed. Yet, he didn't give up. "But what is it, then? Am I fighting too bad? I'm trying to learn the movements, really. I'll do better next time. I can do it, just..."

"So do I," Peggy whispered, looking down.

"What?"

She hadn't planned on answering, but she suddenly felt the need to do it. She raised her head, crossed her arms and started talking.

"I can do it, too. I can run, shoot and fight as well as any other soldier. I can help." She felt she was being ridiculous, but she was too upset to hold her tongue. "You know what it is to be left behind because they think you can't do anything. Why do you do the same to me? You know what I'm capable of!"

Steve knew he was not getting something, but he couldn't understand what it was.

"Peggy, I don't know what you are talking about. Why do you say I'm leaving you behind?"

He was so visibly puzzled and worried she almost felt bad for him. But she was tired, although she would never admit it, and she didn't want to continue that conversation. She had already said too much.

"Never mind," she replied instead. "I think we've had enough for today."

But Steve wasn't listening to her. At least, not to the spoken words, but those inside Peggy's mind; those unpronounced words hidden behind her fiery eyes. He recognised her expression: it was the same he had had in every recruitment station where he had been turned down. A slow realisation began to take place in his mind.

"This is about the Howling Commandos, isn't it?" he affirmed rather than asked. "You want to join them? Us?"

Peggy didn't answer, but it was not necessary. Steve had understood.

"Oh, Gosh. I'm a darn idiot."

"Forget it," Peggy said, her cheeks red and hot as a bonfire. She should have kept her mouth closed. "This is not a game, you are going to risk your life and you have all the right to choose the people you..."

"Peggy." Steve put his hands on her shoulders to make her look him in the eye. "Don't imagine for a single moment I didn't think you could fight with the Commandos. I've seen what you can do –Heck, you've just beaten the stuffing out of me!"

Surprised both by his touch and his words, Peggy couldn't do anything except listening and waiting for him to continue. Steve seemed to be trying to put some order into his thoughts.

"I just didn't expect you wanted to join us," he finally explained. "I mean, you work for the SSR, and I imagined you'd have your own missions. It just didn't feel right to ask you to renounce to all that, but I really wish to have you in the Commandos."

Peggy let out a deep sigh. She felt inexplicably ecstatic and pleased. Her heart was galloping.

"I can't think of a more important mission than to fight HYDRA side by side with Captain America," she said, with a beaming smile.

"Then the decision is taken," he sentenced, his smile even wider.

"Well..." Peggy remembered suddenly. "There's still Colonel Phillips. I have to ask for his permission."

"Oh." Steve's smile fainted. "I hadn't thought of that."

Chapter 4

Notes:

I'm sorry to say that this is the last chapter where Steve and Peggy are together, so enjoy it while you can!

Chapter Text

"Captain Rogers, remind me what S.S.R. means."

Steve gulped and exchanged looks with Peggy before answering.

"Strategic Scientific Reserve, Sir."

"Very well," Colonel Phillips said, in a condescending tone. "Did you hear that, Agent Carter? The first S is for 'strategic'. Did you know that?"

"Yes, Sir," Peggy answered, ignoring the mocking tone.

"Well, Agent, in case you didn't know, the meaning of 'strategic' doesn't include running around with a bunch of crazy soldiers. In fact, I would say it's just the opposite."

"But, Sir..."

"Shut up, Rogers. I already accepted your crazy commandos thing although it means putting many of my best soldiers in extreme danger. But I won't risk Agent Carter after all the trouble I've had to get her to work here."

Peggy opened her eyes wide at those words, but didn't speak. Steve dropped his head to the evidence that they weren't going to succeed.

"Now go and try to do something useful, you two."

"Yes, sir," they said in unison. They flushed.

Colonel Phillips rolled his eyes but said nothing.

***

The Howling Commandos' first mission would start in 10 hours. Steve knew it was stupid to count the time. Still, he did. He walked around the training area. He climbed a wall, jumped down, clung to a rope. He looked at his watch. 9 hours, 57 minutes to go. He kicked a stone.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

He turned around quick as a flash. Peggy was sitting on a bench, smiling at him. He relaxed a little.

"I've never been good at waiting," he confessed. "I prefer the action."

"So do I," she said quietly.

She looked downhearted, and Steve remembered, too late, that she was going to stay in the base while he and the Commandos were on the mission. He cursed himself for his lack of tact.

"I’m sorry," he said. "I wish you could come with us, you know, but— "

"Strategy," she completed. "I know." She made a pause, trying to find the right words. "I see the logic, I know I will be helpful here, but... there is a part of me that just wants to be out there, fighting with you."

"I know the feeling," Steve smiled, "and I wish I could help you."

Peggy smiled back.

"Right now, I just feel like throwing things," she confessed, half joking.

Steve didn't laugh. Instead, he stood up with a pensive look.

"I think I've got just what you need," he said. "Just wait here."

He went into the barracks and came back after a few minutes, carrying something round. Peggy squinted to see what it was and muffled a squeak when she recognised it. Captain America handed Peggy his shield with an exultant smile.

"Here, now you can throw something properly."

Peggy took it with trembling hands and gave Steve a doubtful glance.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked.

Steve laughed.

"Come on, Agent, you know it's not going to break, don't you?"

Peggy blushed and smiled at the same time, remembering the four shots.

"Besides," Steve insisted, "you've taught me many things on our training sessions. It's time you learn something from me, or I'll start to think I'm completely useless."

"All right then," she accepted. "Give it to me."

"Do you see that tree?" Steve pointed his finger towards a big oak. "Try to hit it."

Hesitatingly, Peggy hold the shield and swung her arm. Then, with a quick movement, she threw it. The shield flew a few yards and then fell down without reaching its objective. Peggy cursed in a low voice and went to pick it up while Steve tried to hide a grin.

"I'll try again," Peggy said decidedly.

Steve stepped back as she oscillated her arm again, this time in a wider arc. Peggy used all her strength and launched the shield again. This time it flew further, but hit a different tree and bounced back in an odd angle. Steve jumped and catch it in mid-air.

"Okay," Peggy admitted, "now I'm the one who has lost her dignity."

Steve didn't bother to hide his smile.

"Don't worry, we'll solve it," he promised, giving her the shield. He stood behind her. "You just have to feel the shield, as if it were a part of your arm, see?" He fetched her arm and moved it in a slow circle. "And then just trace the curve in your head before letting it fly. It's just like drawing a section of a circle in the air. Like this... Now!"

Both his and her arm moved together, and Peggy let the shield fly at the moment Steve said. It cut the air at full speed, tracing a perfect arc. Peggy heard a crashing sound and closed her eyes. She opened them again when he heard Steve's laughter and saw the shield embedded in the oak he had pointed. She let out a cry of joy.

"Congratulations," Steve said, proudly patting her back. "Now you can substitute Captain America whenever it's needed," he added, winking.

"Sure," Peggy joked, in a dramatic tone, "You can count on me to save the world on your absence, Captain."

Chapter Text

[New York City, 1946]

 

Peggy Carter had once thought that the end of the war would mean peace. Not that she had expected a perfect world, or some kind of childhood dreamland, but she had thought she wouldn't have to fear for her loved ones' lives every day. Now she knew she had been wrong. Violence had many shapes and names, and war was just one of them. Leviathan, apparently, was another.

The main difference was that, during the war, everybody knew who the enemy was. Now, however, her own partners of the SSR, the same men that just a week ago wouldn't deem her able to point a gun in the right direction, thought the enemy was her.

Some days she remembered all she had left behind and she couldn't help but wondering: was it worth it? And she didn't know what to answer.

Today was one of those days.

There were three armed SSR in the bar, and probably more outside, prepared to arrest her. Of course, they didn't expect she would recognise them. They underestimated her; that was good. But they outnumbered her and Jarvis; that was not so good. Peggy thought quickly. Jarvis could block the door, but she would have to take care of the ones inside alone. And she had no guns.

Well, she had seen worse.

She rapidly explained the plan to Jarvis. One of the agents approached her. Peggy spoke casually about the price of the coffee, pretending to be the silly girl they expected. And then, the action started.

She had to be fast. She took the first man by surprise and pushed him to the ground with a good blow and a well-placed kick. Then she jumped over a table, knocked down another man with a punch and looked around. There was still one more agent, and he was armed and too far for a close combat. She needed to neutralise him before the others were up again. She needed to throw something at him.

She looked around desperately, but the only thing at her reach was an empty plate. All of a sudden, a memory flashed into her mind. She fetched the plate and started waving it back and forth. «Feel it as a part of your arm.» She looked for her objective. «Trace the curve in your head.» The agent started to approach her, menacing. Undaunted, Peggy fixed her eyes on him and let the plate fly. An instant later, the man was down. Peggy silently thanked Steve and breathed again.

The second agent tried to hit her, but she dodged his blows and smashed him against a table. Jarvis managed to take the first man down by crashing a jar on his head, and then went back to the door. He was having problems keeping it closed, so Peggy pushed a chair near him before turning around to face the third agent, who had woken up after his encounter with the plate. Peggy shoved him and beat him down. She sent him to the ground with a kick and finally knocked him out. The danger wasn't so imminent now, but they hadn't much time left. It was time to flee.

"That way, Miss Carter!" Jarvis shouted, pointing at the back door.

Peggy ran as fast as she could, but it was of no use: Agent Jack Thompson was waiting for her outside, with a gun pointed at her heart. She stopped short, and so did Jarvis after her.

"What's happening, Jack?" she asked, trying to keep calm.

Thompson told her that she had been seen the night Leet Brannis died, and they have also discovered she was the blonde woman in Spider Raymond's club. Peggy gulped.

"You've got it all wrong," she tried to explain.

"Then turn yourself in," he replied, without lowering the gun. "Come to the office and tell me all about it," he added, with a smirk.

Of course he didn't believe her. He wouldn't even bother to listen to what she had to say, and neither would the rest of the S.S.R. They never did.

"You know I can't do that," she replied.

"Sweetheart, look around. You don't have a choice."

For an instant, Peggy imagined how much easier it would be to just accept there was no way out and turn herself in. She was alone. Even with Jarvis' help, she could never defeat Leviathan. Running away now would meant dying either fighting Leviathan or at the hands of some S.S.R. agent it they found her. Running and dying, turning herself in and living trapped. Those were her only two options. And the worst thing was that choosing one or another wouldn't make any difference.

But then she remembered the skinny boy who had covered a grenade with his own body to protect the others. He had once thought he had only two options, too, but in the end he had found a third way. With or without the super-soldier serum, Steve Rogers had always done the right thing. He had given his life to protect the world, and Peggy had promised to do the same in his absence. She couldn't give up now.

"I'm so sorry, Jack," she apologised right before knocking him out.

She had to save the world.

Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

III

[New York City, 2012]

Steve Rogers used to imagine the future would be different. When he crashed the Valkyrie into the ice, he had expected that in the future there would be more justice, more freedom. He had hoped there would be peace, although he knew he wouldn't live to see it.

But time had proved him wrong about everything.

He had lived, although asleep for 70 years first, and now he could see by himself that there were still wars –the only difference was that most people didn't seem to realise it. They still fought and killed for power, but now they did it subtly, hiding in the shadows. Except wen a crazed demi-god came from the outer space leading an alien army in order to conquer the Earth; that hadn't been subtle. But then again, Loki wasn't the only one who wanted the Tesseract. Finding out that S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted it to build weapons had reminded Steve that the ways of this time were not his own. Sometimes, he felt he just wasn't meant for this time. He didn't miss the war, but sometimes he missed the way things used to be back then. And he missed the people he had left behind.

The memories were painful, and the only way Steve knew to make them disappear for a while was training. That was why he was in the Stark Tower training-room at three in the morning.

He hit the punching bag again and again, faster and stronger, trying to keep his mind blank. It wasn't easy, though. No matter how quick he punched, his thoughts seemed to run quicker than his fists. He clenched his jaw to restrain a cry of rage and beat the bag with all his strength. Eventually, the hook squealed and broke, and the bag flew through the gym before hitting the wall and falling, spreading sand all over the floor. Steve cursed. Then, he heard a clapping sound and cursed again, this time internally. He had thought the gym was empty. He turned around and saw Tony Stark at the door.

Like each time he saw Tony unexpectedly, Steve had to remind himself that man wasn't Howard Stark, but his son, and so it wouldn't make sense to ask him why cars didn't fly yet.

"Hey, Spangles, having a rough day?"

Of course, when Tony opened his mouth, any similarity with his father disappeared.

"You know, if you have anger management issues you should go talk to Bruce instead of breaking my punching bags. Not that I think that «I'm-always-angry» stuff will help, though," he kept on, "but at least the training room will be safe for a while."

Steve struggled between punching Tony in the nose or apologising, but he finally considered that the boxing bags, the gym an the whole Stark Tower belonged to Tony (minus a twelve percent, if he had it right), and therefore it would be rude to intentionally hurt him. He would have to go for the apology, then.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't realise I was hitting it so hard."

The other man laughed.

"No worries, Capsicle, just joking. You can break as many bags as you wish. I'll get another one later." He waved his hand as if telling Steve to forget about it. "But, you know, maybe what you need is a real opponent."

Steve gave an eloquent look to the bag and the sand on the floor.

"One who can face you," Tony added, reading his mind. He stood in front of Steve with his arms wide open, as if he was under a spotlight waiting for the public to cheer him.

"You mean you... and your suit?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "I thought Miss Potts had forbidden you to wear it inside the tower, and honestly, I don't think fighting outside would be a good idea."

Tony seemed to be expecting his answer, because he grinned when he heard him.

"Right, but I won't use the full suit... just the fists."

"Still, I..."

"From elbow to fingers," Tony continued. "That's not wearing the suit. It's like wearing boxing gloves. I can use boxing gloves, can't I, JARVIS? Answer just yes or no."

"Yes, sir, but..." answered JARVIS' disembodied, British-accented voice.

"See? I can." Tony gave Steve a triumphant look and then clapped his hands once. "Come on, let's do it. JARVIS!."

"As you wish, sir," said the AI, reluctantly.

Just a few seconds later, Iron Man's fists came flying through the door and adjusted themselves around Tony's hands and forearms. The man flexed his fingers to check everything was in place and then walked to the centre of the room.

"Come on, Spangles," he called. "I want to kick your ass for breaking my gym."

Steve rolled his eyes, but followed him and prepared for the combat.

Tony was a good fighter. He knew how to punch, and the suit's arms equalled his strength to Steve's. His footwork wasn't bad, either. But he was too proud of himself, and Steve was beginning to feel tired of his puns and bad jokes. He started to punch harder. Tony noticed the difference and smirked.

"I'm gonna finish you, Spangles," he warned.

Two small thrusters deployed from his iron-covered forearms, and suddenly his strength increased, making it harder for Steve to stop his blows.

"Hey!" he protested. "That's cheating."

"Says the man on steroids," Tony replied, laughing. "You don't like it when somebody beats you at arm-wrestling, huh?"

The remembrance hit Steve as a lightning. Peggy's words echoed in his mind.

"This is not an arm-wrestling contest," he sentenced, half smiling. "Not everything is about strength."

He thrust his leg towards Tony's and hit his knee from behind. Tony jolted, and Steve then tripped him quickly, making him fell down with a moan.

The fight was supposed to keep away the memories, but it had brought them forward instead. However, Steve didn't felt pain this time. He closed his eyes to see Peggy's face again. «I have faith in you,» she had said once. Steve smiled. Peggy Carter had believed in him, and the idea made him feel lighter. Maybe he wasn't exactly meant for this time, and maybe the world wasn't perfect, but he was here, and he could help to make it a bit better. That was what Peggy would have done. That was what she had always done.

"Hey, Earth calling Spangles!" Tony's voice made Steve open his eyes again. He was still on the floor, looking up at him with an intrigued face. "What were you thinking of so hard?"

Steve shook his head, still smiling.

"It was just a memory."

 

THE END

Notes:

So this is it. I really hope you've enjoyed. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think!