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TG: look, dude.
TG: all i’m saying is that naruto and sasuke share a love more tender than any man and woman could share ok.
EB: that is stupid!
Click click click.
Click.
How exactly one gets into such a heated argument someone would never be one hundred percent sure, you just kind of do. You just wind up there, whether or not you want to be there you wind up being there regardless. Though of course when it is a heated argument amongst friends that isn’t an all out war trying to tear down the other person emotionally like the worlds most fucked up honey badger it’s just the littlest bit different.
TG: john that’s just how it is. You can’t ungay naruto, naruto is at the peakest gay that it can possibly be, if you wanted to wave around the gay stick a little less then you should have chosen a different anime bro.
TG: shits waving around like a baton passed around at pride parade, oh fuck. Look at that shit go, sakura cosplayers are getting beaned against the head left and right. The pigs are showing up now and the gay just does not stop piling up.
TG: if you can’t handle a little love between two dudes i dunno what to say man.
In another room he can hear the sound of metal slicing through soft puppet flesh and clinking into something significantly harder. He’d flinch normally if he hadn’t been feeling a little more than incredible right now. He’s too involved in talking to john right now to possibly be caring about whatever perverted puppet snuff shenanigans his older brother could even be getting into. No tacit fears of a regular showdown plague him, he was lost in talking to john in the most pleasant way he could be.
EB: dave you are painting this like i am being homophobic more than i would like! Does the thought of naruto wanting sasukes man meat make me uncomfortable? YES. but only because they are best friends DAVE.
EB: besides naruto already has a love interest and her name is sakura.
EB: point one for NORMAL ANIME FANS LIKE MYSELF.
TG: hahahaha sakura??? Dude that is major lame. Maybe even the lamest, someone needs to call obama and get him on the phone because you are committing crimes and those crimes are shipping literally the worst and most obvious end game ship ever.
TG: just face it, naruto is gay and you can’t change that. Your ship opinions suck too, its a sad life egbert when you are that wrong. im almost shedding tears, except for the part where im not because im way too cool for that.
TG: actually hold on i think we’re gonna have to indict you for additional charges for homophobia against anime dudes.
TG: punishable by one year's worth of bad fanficiton pulled off ff.net. Maybe an execution carried out ninja style too i dunno.
He forgets how long he’d been talking to John, not that it mattered particularly. He remembers waking up and immediately getting online to speak with John, about anything he possibly could. He didn’t want to go out of his room today if he could avoid it and for the most part he could. He leans forward against his table, right hand propping up his head with elbow anchored down into the hard table beneath it and smiling happily as he stared at the long list of their messages and admiring the contrast between their two colours and somewhere distantly in his own mind finding himself craving a particular soda brand that he wasn’t all too sure why.
When it gets to this time of day, the light in his room becomes marvelously dappled through half drawn shutters (which even then had never been drawn shut to the amount they were down either.) and the shadows in his room become beautiful in a way that Dave Strider wasn’t quite able to talk about. Or understand why, really. Something about this time of day made everything seem so much heavier, and so much slower with john especially in summers that had been as hot as the one going on now was. He can imagine himself as he waits for john to reply again, sitting with him by the window and feeling the sun directly on them talking about something else just as stupid as what they had been. He pictures this kind of thing a lot, really.
More than he would ever like to admit. Not that it was wrong, or that it made him gay, right? He was certain it hadn’t made him gay, the thought never really entered his mind either that he might be gay. Or if it did he pushed it as far away from him as possible, because those kinds of thoughts were dangerous. You couldn’t give something like that too much or else it might blow itself up bigger and that would be bad. Same reasons more or less that he would never tell anyone about the fact he often pictured him and john spending time alone together talking. Hanging out by the window of his bedroom and looking out of it. Sitting up at the roof of the condo and shooting the shit over anything as the sun came and cooled down into gentle night. He could watch the sky with his friend and they could hang out letting the whole world pass them by-he’d let John's hand find place in his own and…
If john knew any of this he is beyond certain that he would never talk to him again, and that thought made his heart tighten inside and hot feelings of anxiety cross along his skin. John didn’t need to know, that much was certain.
EB: of all the conversations i have ever had with you this is probably the dumbest, i can just feel the stupid coming off of this like some sort of horrible ghostly radiation and its stinking up the place with the amount of bull crap coming off it.
EB: all i gotta say at this point dave is that i think you are in line to have your hetero card pulled away from you!
EB: this is all kinda SUSPICIOUS that you spend this long thinking about gay stuff hmmmmmmm!!
EB: (hehehehehe)
He reads it over twice, four times, then six before he has the courage to respond again. John didn’t need to know, they were only friends after all.
TG: takes one to know one egbert