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"Why won't you tell me?"
Charles still hasn't stopped laughing. It's been ten fucking minutes and he still hasn't stopped laughing.
"Charles, work with me here," Erik says, sounding all but desperate. Meanwhile, Peter's running about, making sneak tickle attacks on Hank because it makes him turn blue and it's funny when he growls and makes grabby hands at the space Peter used to occupy. "I need to know what's going on with him."
"Going on with who?" And now, Peter's talking right into Erik's ear. Fantastic. "Why's the prof being weird? Isn't that your area of expertise?"
Erik sighs. "Go and play with your friends, Peter."
When he goes back to glaring at Charles, Peter mimes him, exaggerating his stern facial expression (stern, not sour, okay? it's his fatherly scolding expression. he likes to think he has it down pat.) and scowling dramatically at the end.
"I saw that," Erik drawls. "I'd just like to remind you that I can ground you and keep you pinned to your bed with the zipper of that hideous jacket you like so much."
He didn't think it possible, but now, Charles is laughing even harder.
"Did I say anything?" Erik's forehead creases in confusion. He turns to ask Peter, because he's fairly sure he missed something, but then the boy's already on the other side of the room, throwing himself at Logan and basically just asking for a punch in the throat.
"Oh my god," Charles wheezes, now with a look of horror that screams too much information! Erik narrows his eyes at the scene Charles is staring at: Logan looking a bit out of his depth, attempting to lecture the students on sportsmanship (charles had to bribe him with a new motorcycle) with a kittenish Peter hanging off his (admittedly impressive) arm.
"Is Logan bullying my son?" he hisses, and Charles' metal chair begins to vibrate in his anger. "My son? I'm going to kill him."
"No!" Charles reaches out with his mind, trying to calm Erik down. "God, no. If anything, Peter has Logan wrapped around his finger."
With all the frowning Erik's doing, it's a miracle his wrinkles haven't reached senior citizen levels yet. "Then why do you look like you're about to punch something?"
And Charles does. He's red in the face and he has that expression he uses when he's about to call a team meeting on proper behavior and boundaries for people who live under the same roof.
"I don't want to punch anything. Or anyone. I just," Charles pauses, waving a hand uncertainly, "saw something that I didn't need to see."
"You never get this bothered," Erik says. "You've spent years living with Alex, for god's sake, and I can only imagine the twisted fantasies that boy has. What could you possibly have seen in Peter's mind?"
Charles scrunches his nose, contemplating the best course of action. On one hand, it's Peter and Logan's business what they do in private. On the other, they're so obvious about their relationship that it's almost painful how Erik can't work it out himself.
"It may have to do with handcuffs." A wince. "And leather."
"What," is all Erik says, his face ominously blank.
"Uh." Charles shifts nervously, unable to stop a high-pitched giggle from coming out of his mouth. "It's consensual?"
This is the moment Erik's eyes turn black with barely held rage. "I'm going to kill him."
"Didn't work the first time."
"I'm going to make sure it lasts."
"Erik, no."
"Shut up, Charles, or so help me, I will tie you up myself."
"Well," Charles huffs."Isn't that an invitation?"
Erik ignores him, already stomping away so he can glower at Logan. Charles sighs.
He is so done with Erik's overprotective father phase.