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It’d be a lie to say Edoardo missed Eleonara immediately. After she left to England of all place he’d tried to cast off all thoughts of her and had succeeded. None of his friends knew or even cared about her and it was easy to avoid her friends even with two of them glaring at him every time they passed each other.
He’d been successful busying himself in his studies and his friends instead of in scrolling through her unchanging Instagram. Until it did change. A cryptic shot of her posted of her posing outside a building—she looked amazing but what made Edo freeze on it was the guy she had tagged and the caption of amazing day out. He had no right ot be jealous Edoardo told himself but instead of turning his phone on he clicked on the boy’s Instagram account. It was private unfortunately but Edoardo found himself zooming in on the profile picture to assess the other boy.
Sandy blond hair was brushed out of his face and Edoardo could see his sharp cheekbones despite the badly pixelated image. If this was the kind of boy that Eleonora liked, he had no chance with this Teddy Fitzwilliam in the picture and in Manchester opposed to being stuck in Rome. Edoardo clicked back to the picture of Eleonora and tried to just appreciate the photo but he couldn’t get rid of his annoyance and he found himself clicking on the dm button.
He only said Ciao and asked how she was but he couldn’t control his grin upon seeing the dots pop up to say she was typing.
…
She never actually messaged him—he probably should have expected it and the next day Edoardo decided to actually move on instead of trying to ignore her.
He was drunk. Edonever normally got drunk at parties but it was so easy, and he couldn’t do anything about the Eleonora situation but he could do this and that made him feel like he was in control even as it starts to slip. Fede, the boys were laughing around him, and Edo couldn’t help but laugh too--he didn’t know why exactly but it’s funny he reasoned.
A girl with dark cropped hair entered the room and in Edoardo’s blurry vision she is Eleonora. He stumbled towards her colliding with people but once he reached her she’s just another girl. It doesn’t matter though she took his arm and they end up dancing.
She reached her hands up towards his hair, but he shook them off and when she went up on tiptoes, he only kissed her back for a few seconds. His hands unwound themselves from around her waist as fast as they’d grabbed her as he realised that even with his eyes closed and drunk, he couldn’t imagine it was Eleonora. She looks up at him in confusion with brown eyes so different to Eleonora’s striking green eyes and he feels nauseous.
He stumbled away from her and she calls his name, but he didn’t even know her name. He made it outside before puking. He dry heaves hard but he hasn’t eaten all day and there’s nothing left to throw up.
…
After that he decided he was better off waiting. Fede laughed at him and the boys placed bets on how long he would last but the memory of the acid burning in his throat and the image of Eleonora’s judgemental eyes is enough to deter him. Initially they’d made a game out of it finding as many pretty girls and throwing them at Edoardo hoping he’d break so they could collect.
It had been funny at the start and most of the girls weren’t as vapid as his friends thought and when he explained that he was waiting for someone would just make high pitched noises in approval about how he was a true gentlemen and that they’d like to just be friends. It was only when they pushed forward Eleonora’s blonde friend, Silvia, who he’d slept with once before that Edoardo snapped.
There was a difference between harmless fun with the random girls he’d befriended but Silvia was too close to Eleonora. What if she told her that they’d been together at the party or got more attached to him and that caused trouble when Eleonora came back. That implied that anything would actually happen which was increasingly more unlikely with every post or story that featured that Teddy guy who Edoardo had become very good at picking out of a crowd.
Regardless he’s not cruel to Silvia just disengaged and he palmed her off to Nathan after a few minutes with a charming smile. Once Silvia and everyone was gone he told the boys that they had to stop and that he was serious about waiting and they had to respect that. They didn’t stop teasing him, but he noticed that the bets went up in time scale with Federico going up to six months from two weeks and Chicco removing his bet altogether
…
He found her episodes of the radio only a few days later. They’re recorded on her phone, so the sound is cracklier than the other episodes of the radio—which he definitely did not watch all of just in case Eleonora had filmed any before she had left. In them she spoke about thing that matter to her--a few are gardening tutorials, book reviews or her exploring Manchester. The vast majority though are about causes she’s passionate about--the environment, equality, immigration, volunterring--and he loved hearing that drive in her voice and it motivated him.
The next day he went out trying to look for something to do to help out with and volunteer just like how Eleonora said she was doing in England. He ended up at a primary school program for disadvantaged kids helping tutor them on Saturday mornings. It’d be a lie to say he didn’t have a favourite—a little girl with dark curly hair and green eyes who looked at him with the same judgement as Ele
Eleonora’s voice became clearer to him every week as he listened to her episodes as they come out and he even showed them to the kids whenever they are working on English and despite them laughing at her slight Manchurian accent, he found it endearing.
He finally told the boys about it after they complain that he’s always busy and they joined in until it’s the five of them squatted down in the play area like the oversized children they are building Lego houses. Edoardo’s almost happy like this surrounded by his friends with the little kids dangling off him but something was missing and he’s not content.
The closest he can get to content is when he went to sleep with her voice in his ear—the only sound in an empty house.
…
He was in the car when it comes on the radio and he braked hard sending Fede in the passenger seat flying forward. Fede grumbled in complaint and confusion but Edoardo shushed him instead focusing on the song and he scribbled down the name of the song when it was read out. It was a perfect song for how he felt about Eleonora and a chance to actually finally play the guitars at home. Fede complained again about the lack of speed and Edoardo slammed down his foot on the accelerator to go.
When he got home Edoardo found himself first googling the guitar sheet music to Creep and then finding his guitar and music stand. He hadn’t played or a had formal lesson in years but he stumbled through the piece his hands tentative as they move from fret to fret gaining speed as he went.
It took him a few weeks before he was able to add the words and his voice initially is croaky and he couldn't time them together. But he practiced again and again until it all worked. His fingers danced across the guitar with ease coaxing music out of it and he wished he could deal with all of his other problems as easily.
…
His brother came home nine months in and was suspicious immediately. Andrea was always calculating always aware and Edoardo couldn't let him know what’s actually going on with him. Andrea poked and pried and Edoardo did his best to hide everything about Eleonora—he stopped visiting the program on Saturday mornings, stopped listening to her voice at night evnen though it means he can’t sleep and left his guitar on the wall to gather dust instead of continuing to practise. Hopefully if Andrea could get what he wants he'd just leave and Edoardo’s life could go back to normal.
Andrea holds a party a week in and much like the boys did threw girls at him—they’re nice enough and Edoardo dances with them initially just far enough so he could avoid the chances of any wandering limbs. He only stopped when he sees Andrea watching him from the side of the room as though he was an animal in a zoo. He left the room then glass of wine in hand until he encountered another girl Marta—she was nice and hopefully talking to her will throw Andrea off of the scent. They chatted for a bit and he discovers she was one of Andrea’s friends but they don’t hang out that much anymore except at parties. As the night draws to a close they exchanged numbers and she told him to message her if he ever went to Milan which he agreed to easily.
He was tired the next morning and not subtle enough and Andrea caught him scrolling through Eleonora’s photos on Instagram. His brother didn’t say anything at first and Edoardo had no idea how long he’d been watching until he becomes aware of his brothers heavy presence behind him lurking and looking at Eleonora.
His brother then asked questions about her—where she was, who was she, did he know how hot she was and her age. Edo answered all of them leading out the truth just saying she was the friend of a friend and she was in London currently. it was when he answered about her age that he saw Andrea’s mask of congeniality break and Edoardo couldn’t feel anything but scared of what his brother would do this time.
Edoardo only feels like he can breathe after his brother goes away again and he can’t help but hope he won’t come back. Andrea was never that interested in any other girl that Edoardo had known or brought home and he’d fucked with them all anyway.
…
When Edoardo saw a photo of Eleonora on Instagram with her friends in Rome he couldn't hold back a fist pump even as his friends around him snigger at his excitement. But they all crowd around him looking at the photo and meticulously checking the geostamp and even the date on a calendar in the background because as Chicco said you can never be too careful in these things and it could always be a throwback photo. When they determined that Eleonora is indeed in Rome even though Edoardo thought that was obvious from the beginning they started trying to decide what he should send her if he should send anything at all.
He sent the message before they came to an agreement and it’s impulsive but he wanted to lay his card out so that she knew where he stands more than anything and knows that he liked her and wanted her. The boys all scolded him afterward Chicco thought it’s too forward and he should be more subtle whilst Fede thought he should have just asked her out and Rocco was behind the idea of not saying anything at all and just approaching her at school.
It’s too late anyway and he decided he’s going to be bold and probably dumb but that he’s not giving up. He just needed her to give him a chance.
…
He sends her a message after seeing her at school and he knows it’s dumb but she’s so much prettier than she is in photos and he could recognise her voice from across the halls. He hide and the boys laugh but agreed to watch to see her reaction to his message. They come back cackling about how she tried to hide and cover herself up—Edo didn't tell them about the stunt he pulled with Silvia knowing they wouldn’t approve. All he said is that it would be a good idea for them to have that party they’d been talking about and could Nathan host it.
…
When he got Silvia’s message saying they can’t come he hated it and the way he felt sick to his stomach. He’d waited so long for this that whilst he knew she doesn’t owe him anything he wanted this and her so he could at least talk to her properly.
So he drank and then calls Silvia so that he can talk to Eleonora at least even if he can’t do anything else. When she answered the phone, he can’t help but be calmed by her voice even though it was angrier than it ever was in one of her radio episodes. But she agreed to go out with him and Edoardo couldn't help but grin like a fool and the rush from the alcohol is nothing compared to this.
…
He spent the afternoon baking. Partially because he was stressed out he never actually thought that this would happen and partially because the biscuit tin was empty and he wanted to bring her something of his to show how much he cares. It was dumb but Edo thought it’s the type of thing that Eleonora would appreciate if she would take the time to but he had no idea if she would.
He left earlier than he needs to, biscuits secure at his feet—he had to empty out his grandmother’s sewing supplies to fit them in and he’d felt bad about it but desperate times call for desperate measures. When he arrived it’s seven thirty and he’s half an hour early. So he sat there too full of adrenaline to actually be able to do anything but scroll through the group chat as the boys all wished him luck. He’d told them about everything that had happened and sent them a picture of the cookies he'd made and Chicco had already propositioned him after seeing those in case him and Eleonora didn’t work out.
They were happy and encouraging and Edo couldn’t help but feel happy as they all planned to go out to see if they can find a party to go out to even as they complained that he wouldn't be there to look out for them—in the past year he had somehow become the designated sober friend.
At 8 on the dot he messaged Eleonora that he was downstairs and then tucked his phone away. She was stunning even dressed down as she is. As she got in the car and he could finally see her properly he felt his breath catch in her throat and despite her anger at him he couldn't help but feel like everything was going to be fine.