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Temporarily without a home, Rayla was offered one of the rooms usually reserved for visiting dignitaries and emissaries. Her status, for now, was as a guest of the King and his brother. On the streets of Katolis, most had a vague idea of Rayla as someone who had helped bring about peace, and so when word spread through whispers and rumors that this particular elf was staying at the castle, it didn’t seem too odd. But how long would it take for suspicion to rise; for those humans to suspect that their prince was in more than just a diplomatic relationship with the visiting elf?
Truth be told, even Rayla couldn’t exactly pin down what she and Callum were. On their journey through Xadia and the battles that erupted later, he was her companion. The closest you could be with another. In love, but not courting, betrothed, bonded, mated or any of those other terms used to describe an official romantic relationship. Their union had never been given a label beyond what Callum had chosen for them that night by the fire- a love for the end of the world- and in the days after their reunion, she struggled to put into words what they had. Not wanting to broach the subject with Callum, she kept quiet. Everything was new again. Why demand to know? It would come in time.
Because time was what they finally had now. No mission. No needs of others to think about. Just each other.
But three weeks after finding her way back into his life, Rayla woke abruptly with tears in her eyes. Callum had stayed in her room. The first time he’d been so bold. They tended to air on the side of caution. The fewer others knew about them, the better. And for the most part, they merely talked into the night, stealing only a few kisses just before falling asleep in each other’s arms. It was similar to how it had been while traveling through Xadia. So familiar in fact that it had triggered a dream. She was thrown back in time, but without Callum, and in her heart, Rayla knew he was dead. She searched and searched, screaming out his name while wandering the forest where he first professed his love.
When Rayla’s eyes shot open, Callum was leaning over her, peering down with one hand on her shoulder. “I’m here. I’m right here,” he soothed, his voice thick with sleep. She must’ve yelled out his name from her dream.
“I dreamt you ... we were in Xadia again. Bringing Zym back. But you were gone and I just knew-” her voice cracked as she sat up, “I knew you were dead. It felt so real.” Pain constricted inside Rayla’s chest and she ran a firm hand along her breast bone.
It was strange that these dreams would follow her to Katolis. She had always assumed they’d be wiped from her mind if she and Callum were reunited. Waking up drenched in terror sweats was the bane of her sleep cycle back home.
Your old home she reminded herself.
“I have bad dreams like that too. Well, not about me being dead. But you. Or Ezran. Pretty much any person that’s important to me has at one point or another died in my nightmares.” He began stroking her back and Rayla folded into him, turning his comforting gesture into an embrace. “Most of the time, I sketch the fear away, which means the last few years have been filled with a lot of broken-up sleep." He paused, and Rayla could hear the smile in his voice when he added, "You know, maybe that’s why I’ve been so unbearably moody.” It was obviously a joke, and yet his attempt to humor her tears away only turned them into torrents. Flowing freely, they wet the skin of Callum’s neck as she let out a sob. “I-I’m sorry, that was the wrong thing to say. I was only trying to make you laugh. Guess I’m a bit out of practice with this. I haven’t had to comfort anyone in a long time. Usually, it's just been everyone worrying about me.”
Rayla sniffled. “That actually makes me feel worse.”
“What? That I’m bad at comforting people? That’s not your fault.”
“Maybe it is.” Guilt curled inside her gut. “Maybe you would be well-practiced if we’d stayed together.”
Callum pulled away, looking incredulous and ready to disagree, but then he hesitated after taking in her dejected expression. “Oh, Rayla.” Her name was a sigh on his lips. Reaching up, he placed his hands on either side of her face, then the warm feel of his thumbs moved under her eyes, wiping away the tears. “You might remember that we both chose to end our relationship. You didn’t just get up one day and leave. We both knew it would end if the war did.”
“But I’m the one who broke off communication.”
Callum frowned, a memory lighting behind his eyes, but it was quickly dismissed with a shrug. “Yeah, you did. And I’m not gonna lie, that was painful. But it was always gonna be painful even if you hadn’t done that. I had a broken heart. You did too. And the reason I’m terrible at comforting others has more to do with everything as a whole. You don’t come out of war a normal functioning individual. We’ve both got issues. You chose to deal with it by losing yourself in your work and almost marrying someone you didn’t love, while I dived deep into an obsession for someone I did love but couldn’t have. Which isn’t healthy either. I mean have you seen my room? I’m not sure how you didn’t just scream and run the other way when you saw all those pictures of you.”
“That’s not funny. I would never do that,” Rayla said.
“I wasn’t trying to be funny,” he defended. “You and me, we’re wounded and you trying to take the blame for it won’t fix us.” Callum moved his arms around Rayla’s middle, and gently guided her down, back into the position they’d been in just before falling asleep. Face to face. Bodies close. He brushed a stray hair out of her eyes and ran his fingers along one of her horns. An intimate gesture for those bonded in her culture. Rayla had told him about it years before while on their journey through Xadia, but this was the first time he’d felt comfortable enough to attempt it himself. “And that’s why it’s so important that we’re here for each other now,” Callum continued, bringing his hand down to her arm and stroking the exposed skin. “We can’t change the past. We just gotta hold onto this moment and all the others to come. Make the good ones last and comfort each other during the bad ones. Like tonight when I calmed you with my bad joke.”
Despite residual sadness still resonating inside her heart, Rayla snorted- not quite a dismissal, but not a laugh either- and in the darkness of the room, she could see the white of Callum’s teeth as he smiled widely.
“Ah, see, I got a sound out of you that maybe means you’re feeling better?”
“Maybe,” Raya replied, non-committal, before glancing over his shoulder. Light was beginning to brighten the curtains of the only window. Birds, Rayla had become familiar with since taking over this room, were singing their morning songs. Callum would have to leave soon if he wanted whatever it was they had to remain a secret.
“What are you looking at?”
“Just noticin’ the time. It’ll be mornin’ soon. You probably should take off.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess,” he answered, twisting his neck to stare at the same window. Then turning back to her, he hesitated. Seconds passed as neither of them spoke. Rayla could hear her own heartbeat and Callum’s nervous breathing. Why was he nervous? “Is that what you want me to do?” he finally asked. She saw something in his expression, just barely noticeable, and wondered what it meant. Reluctance?
“I just assumed you’d want to. We’ve been careful. If anyone saw you leave my room ...” She lifted then lowered one shoulder. “Well, there would be speculation. Even if we didn’t do anythin’ worth gossipin’ about. Although a human prince kissin’ an elf might be a scandal all its own.”
He was quiet again. Contemplating. “I suppose me leaving your room would look bad since we’re not married, but on the other hand, why shouldn’t everyone know about us? You’re my girlfriend, aren’t you? Or should I say mate? That is what Moonshadow elves call it, right?”
"What?" Rayla said.
“Well, I mean it’s gonna happen sooner or later. Maybe we should just break the news to everyone. And not necessarily with me sneaking out of your room at dawn, but with some formal dinner. Ezran can host. It’ll be good to show everyone that it’s okay for a human and elf to be in love.” His mind was already planning, he had that furrowed brow, the one she recognized from when he strategized. Except this time, it wasn’t him trying to avoid being attacked. He was contemplating how to introduce Rayla as his girlfriend. Such a simple thing when compared to the chaos of their old life, and yet it meant the world to her. “What? Why are you smiling like that?” Callum asked, breaking through her thoughts.
“Smiling like what?”
“Like you’re extremely pleased with yourself,” he teased, pressing the tip of his finger against her nose.
She brushed his hand away. “Well, it may not seem like a significant matter,” she replied, “but that was the first time you’ve referred to me as your girlfriend or even mate. Before, when we were in Xadia, we never labeled each other. It’s nice to know what I am to you. Especially since I’ve been feelin’ a little like I’m invadin’ your home and overstayin’ my welcome.”
Callum blanched. “Don’t ever think that this is just my home,” he said, suddenly serious and it threw Rayla off balance. Generally, he wasn’t this forceful with her and a shyness crept its way up her body. “You belong here just as much as I do. Sure, everything’s a little shaky right now, but that’ll get better with time. They’ll all accept you once they see what Ez and I do.” His expression turned soft and their lips met for a kiss that didn’t last nearly as long as Rayla hoped. “I guess I didn’t understand just how important it was for you to hear what you are to me. I always assumed you knew.”
“I did know,” Rayla was quick to say. “But hearing it out loud, it’s just got a nice ring to it.”
Callum grinned. “Rayla, my mate.”
But then she cringed. “Ugh, that sounds all wrong comin’ out of a human’s mouth. Like I’m your good ol’ buddy ol’ pal or somethin’.” She hit her fist against his arm for emphasis.
“What about a mixture?” he suggested, arching an eyebrow while pausing for dramatic effect. “My girl-mate.” When Rayla erupted in laughter, Callum responded with a smirk. “See, my bad jokes are good for something.”
“Oh, now who’s extremely pleased with himself?” she mocked. His only reply was to kiss her again and Rayla decided that this was just fine with her.
And through it all, she begrudgingly admitted Callum was right. Her nightmare felt like a faraway memory. As long as he stayed by her side, making his terrible jokes and moving his mouth against hers the way he was now, those awful images would likely haunt her less and less.
Callum- her boyfriend, her mate.