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James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky to everyone save for his mom and one other person, had never struck out in his life. Okay, so maybe mostly never struck out. And never quite this hard. It had been several weeks now, and all his overtures had thus far been: a. ignored, b. stared at blankly, c.fake-laughed at in an effort to pretend it was a joke. He was getting terribly frustrated at his efforts going to waste, and for someone who for the life of him he cannot understand his attraction to. It was for the new transfer kid, Steve Rogers, and kid was the right word- a skinny little thing who looked like he could get blown away by a mildly gusty morning, but who had the most angelic face Bucky had ever seen. The bright blond hair framing a delicate face with the most intense blue eyes. And those lashes! He’d hardly seen thick, long lashes even on a girl, and not to mention those pink full lips. It was a pity the face was mostly burrowed in books, or seriously working away at a sketchbook, or if he was lucky looking at him blankly as he tried another line that would have worked on about just anyone else.
Natasha and Sam, his best friends, found it high comedy that he struck out regularly with this kid. He had just invited him to lunch, and was of course brushed off with a polite ‘no thank you, I have to go to the library today’. It was always a variation of such, and for the most part they were true excuses. But he also, while not spying mind you- however Natasha insisted on calling it, saw that Steve ate on his own after every library visit, brown paper bag on his lap, sitting on the steps behind the gymnasium reading a book while munching on a pb&j. Don’t ask Bucky how he found out what type of sandwich it was.
If it haven’t been for their chemistry class together he would probably not even notice Steve’s existence, Bucky liked to think sometimes, if only to assuage his bruised ego. He was always so withdrawn, shy, introverted- Bucky had never seen him hang out with any friends except for maybe the school librarian Ms. Carter, and one time the school nurse Mr. Erskine. Don’t ask how Bucky knows these things either.
Anyway, fate had it that they got paired (Natasha and Sam, the traitors, quickly chose each other the moment the Mr. Banner announced that the class would pair by themselves), and though he was a popular, good looking jock with a left arm like a rocket, he also let’s say wasn’t the sharpest when it came to science classes, and so he was paired with the new kid in school. Mr. Banner thought it was a good idea anyway- he probably hoped Bucky’s good charm and popularity will help the new kid get used to his new school while hoping Steve’s good transcript will help Bucky’s poor one. Bucky remembered how the feeling of boredom washed away the moment he locked eyes with his new lab partner. They were blue, he remembered, with flecks of green, and such serious look on an criminally cute face. Steve even held out a hand to formally introduce himself, the little nerd, and Bucky felt the soft hand on his own as if in a trance. It was only when he noticed Steve wince that he realized he had been crushing the kid’s hand. A profusion of apologies left his mouth, but Steve only nodded at him, and thus started their doomed relationship, one that Bucky still had hopes would turn from fraught into, well anything else at this point.
“Just ask him out already.” Natasha told him after that class, flippant but amused. Sam was already beside himself laughing at Bucky. It turned out they had been watching the pair, having been directly seated behind them. They saw the whole handshake fiasco and overheard the following one-way conversation of Bucky trying his goddamn best to be welcoming and friendly to a polite but otherwise uninterested Steve. “What did you think I was doing?” Bucky replied hotly, and he knew he walked in to it when Sam supplied, “crashing and burning, that’s what!”
Weeks of this, and Bucky had gotten desperate. He thought he finally got the chance when they had to do a project that would require after-class time, and at lunch he approached Steve and announced, “hey, let’s go to the library together to work on this project”, words that had never, ever left his mouth before meeting Steve, but at this point he was willing to do anything, even study Chemistry. Steve gave him a strange look, but then nodded, and Bucky made a fist and softly punched the air in early celebration as Steve turned and walked ahead of him. He looked back and mouthed, “finally!” at Natasha and Sam, who looked equally amused and doubtful, but gave him thumbs up anyway.
At the empty library they sat side by side and Steve was quietly explaining something to him while he gazed at Steve’s downturned face fondly when Bucky blurted out, “You’re too pretty to be this smart.” It just came out of him, and how dearly he wished he never uttered the words when Steve looked up from the book, turned to him and with an icy glare said, “Quick question, what the fuck does that mean.”
Bucky found himself stammering nonsense, and Steve cooly cut in. “If you think it’s funny to keep making fun of the new kid I suggest you go take a long walk on a short pier, you jerk.” And with that Steve was collecting his stuff and standing up and walking away, while all Bucky could do was watch with his mouth opening and closing like some dying fish on land. Apt, since Bucky felt like dying.
Every day after that last and final strike out Steve would go out of his way to not do anything with Bucky as much as possible, and it made Bucky so miserable people were starting to notice. Even Sam, who would in any other time use this opportunity to tease him mercilessly. “Hey, maybe try moving on from this guy?” Sam had asked after football practice, “I know Dottie still wants to get with you. Nat said she’d been asking around...” But Bucky only shook his head, without a quip at hand. That probably was what shook Sam the most. He’d never known Bucky to not have a handy answer to anything he said. Natasha, on the other hand, was mostly annoyed at Bucky’s moping. Bucky didn’t bother to explain anything to them but just went on sighing. The sighing was what irritated Natasha the most.
And so one day Natasha and Sam cornered Bucky after practice. Natasha slammed a folded piece of paper onto his chest. “Be there.” Was all she said before leaving, and Sam was left to explain, “yeah so Nat’s just being dramatic, but we talked to Steve and got him to agree to meet with you, and on that paper is where and when you’ll be meeting him. Which we could just tell you, but again, Nat’s going for drama.” Bucky couldn’t believe it, his friends actually came through for him. In matters of, um, love, the most he could get from Natasha was an eye-roll. “I... I dunno what to say.” He started, but Sam just punched him in the arm and said, “just do us a favor and not fuck this up? Steve wasn’t too thrilled about this whole thing.”
So it was a nervous Bucky who stood before the downtown diner. He could see Steve in a booth at the far corner, and his hands started to sweat. He breathed in and out, like he did before every football match, and psyched himself up to open the door. The moment was kind of ruined when a patron exiting the diner opened it instead and held it for him. Bucky just grimly nodded to hide his embarrassment and entered. He marched right up to the booth where Steve was busy reading, always reading, and stood there dumbly. He cleared his throat after a few minutes of being ignored, and Steve distractedly looked up. It quickly turned into a frown when he realized it was Bucky. And I’m already fucking it up, Bucky thought. Sorry Sam.
“Can I?”
“Sure.”
He slid into the booth as cooly as he can under Steve’s baleful stare. Bucky sighed and held up his hands in surrender.
“Listen, I just want to apologize.”
Steve continued to stare at him, but it was less angry.
“I didn’t mean to say ‘you’re too pretty to be smart’. It... just kinda came out. I mean, you’re plenty smart, but also very pretty.” Bucky was vaguely aware that his mouth had run away from him, yammering nonsense words, but he was too nervous and his heart was too loud.
“Again with this.” Steve exclaimed, exasperated. “Listen, you meathead, I don’t want to hear any of that shit from you.”
That shut Bucky up. “I... I’m sorry?” And then it dawned on him. Oh. Oh no. He’d been hitting on a straight guy. Oh fuck.
“I will not be bullied. Just because I’m new and nerdy, so what? Stop calling me pretty, stop trying to get me to ‘go out with you’ just so you and your jock friends can make fun of the gay kid.” Steve said hotly, his face turning red and tears forming in the corner of his eyes.
For the second time in minutes Bucky was dumbstruck.
“I know you’re only pretending to be interested! I’ve heard the rumors.” Steve continued. “Dottie in English class is your girl, right? I can’t believe you...”
“Wait, wait, hold up. Who said I’m making fun of you?”
Steve stopped his tirade, and looked hesitant for a moment. “What do you mean?”
Bucky leaned over the table, and Steve instinctively moved back. “I wasn’t making fun of you. If anything, you’re making fun of me! I’ve been trying to get you to at least hang out with me for weeks and you’ve been pretending I was joking the whole time. I meant it Steve, I meant every invitation, every pass, every... god I was flirting with you! And I’ve never flirted with someone who seemed so determined to... Jesus Christ I’m a jerk aren’t I?” Bucky put a hand to his face and scrubbed it hard. “Look,” he said, hand to his face and avoiding having to see Steve, “I’m really sorry. Sorry I was... I should’ve just taken your lack of interest as a definite no and carried on.” He put down his hand and looked Steve in the eye. “No I wasn’t flirting with you to make fun of you. It was genuine, for what it’s worth. And I’m bi. And again no Dottie is not my girl, we just went out a couple times. That’s it.”
It was Steve’s turn to look dumbfounded, and he was breathing hard. Bucky leaned back and made to get out of the booth. “Sorry for wasting your time.” He muttered. He was halfway up when he felt Steve grab his jacket.
“Wait!”
Bucky turned, and saw Steve biting his lip, looking a little mortified and concerned. “Do... do you mean all that?” He asked, hesitant.
“What do you mean, do I mean all that?”
“I meant... it’s just.” Steve looked torn. “Please, James, sit down.”
Bucky, a bud of hope trying to fight through in his heart, sat down again. He watched Steve take a napkin and start folding it smaller and smaller as the kid gathered his thoughts. “I... I’m sorry. I may have been projecting.” Bucky remained silent. He let Steve take his time- this seemed really important. “There was a guy, back in my old school, his name was Brock...” and at the mention of the name Steve started tearing at the napkin. Bucky hated the guy in the story already. “...anyway long story short he pretended to be interested in me just so he can make fun of me with his buddies.”
“That sucks. Must’ve been hard for you. I’m sorry you had to go through it.”
Steve gave him a weak smile. The first one he’s ever gotten, Bucky thought, and quickly admonished himself for feeling a little bit happy. “He kinda reminded me of you so I thought... in any case, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.”
Bucky was a mixture of emotions. He finally got through to Steve, but he also reminded him of some asshole from his past. Not the look he was going for. “When you say I reminded you of that guy...”
Steve quickly shook his head and held up his hands, “oh no! No you look nothing like him! He’s not as handsome as you, for one thing.” And then he stopped and started to color. “I meant, just the whole being interested in me. I know what I look like- it’s kinda weird for someone like you to just start liking someone like me.”
So, he thought he was handsome, Bucky thought, and fought off a smirk. He went for nonchalant as he picked up the discarded, shredded napkin and balled it. “And what is someone like me?” He asked. Steve made a pained face.
“Someone... handsome and popular and charming.” Steve said in a small voice. This time Bucky smiled.
“So you do think I’m charming? And you mentioned handsome twice. Why, Stevie, I’m starting to think you might actually like me.”
Face still red, Steve looked away and huffed. “Well sometimes you’re kind of a jerk.” Bucky laughed. Oh he was so relieved- what a rollercoaster of a talk this had been.
“Well, okay, how about we start over?” Bucky threw away the balled napkin and held out his hand. “I’m James, but just call me Bucky. Everyone does.”
Steve looked at his hand and hesitated before doing a deep breath and reached for it. “Hello, Bucky. I’m Steve. Please don’t call me Stevie.” And they shook hands over the table, properly this time. Bucky can’t help but feel elated at finally being called his nickname. “You’re not letting go of my hand.” Steve noted.
“Hm?” Bucky pretended not to hear, still holding Steve’s hand as he put it down on the table. He stroked a thumb on the back of Steve’s hand and it made the color of Steve’s face deepen.
Bucky was about to say something smooth when a voice cut in from behind him, “Fucking finally.” He turned around to see a Natasha with her arms crossed and looking smug, while Sam was behind her with a hand covering his mouth, clearly smiling broadly. Bucky looked back to surprised Steve, who tried to snatch back his hand but Bucky was quick to hold on. He mouthed, “Don’t worry”, and then turned to his two friends.
“The hell are you two doing here?”
“Making sure you’re not fucking things up.” Sam replied smoothly, and Natasha tugged at Bucky’s shoulder. “Move, we’re sitting with you guys.”
Bucky rolled his eyes but followed her command, and he let go of Steve’s hand to get up and sit beside him. Natasha and Sam shared a raised eyebrows look, and she said “okay” as Sam nodded approvingly. Bucky nudged Steve with a shoulder, and Steve looked over to him with wide eyes. “It’s okay” Bucky whispered, and his hand found Steve’s under the table. He gave it a squeeze for reassurance. “They may not sound like it, but they’re very good friends.” And he winked at the two. Natasha stuck a tongue out in reply and Sam finger-gunned at him.
“So, you guys figured things out?” Natasha asked, all business. Steve and Bucky found themselves nodding as if on command. She stared at the two of them for a beat, and then nodded as well. “Good.”
“Yeah, ‘coz just watching you two was giving me ulcers.” Sam said as he raised a hand. “Waiter! Please take our orders and please note that our very good friend Bucky here is going to handle the check.”
“Hey”, Bucky protested, but without heat, and Sam just smirked at him when Natasha cut in with a “you owe us.” They all laughed, and Bucky turned to Steve and found that even he was laughing. His eyes turned to see Natasha and Sam noting this as well, and they both had warm smiles. Steve turned to him and said “I’m having the dinner set if you’re paying” with a cheeky smile. Bucky felt him squeeze his hand under the table, and found himself saying, “anything you want, doll.” All three of his companions rolled their eyes at the line, but Steve never let go of his hand. Bucky laughed, his heart overcome with blooms of hope. He didn’t fuck it up after all.