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Poor Nate. That was the only thought floating in Zari's mind as she stood in the Waverider's bridge, perusing the timeline for any fugitive alerts. She couldn't even imagine what her pal Nate was going through. After all, who expects their father to be involved in embezzling money and illegal experimenting on magical creatures? Zari's heart was bleeding for Nate, especially now that she had seen him experiencing such gut-wrenching emotion. And that too after having spent so much time with him for the first time in months.
Ever since Nate had joined the Time Bureau to get over Amaya and re-establish his bond with his dad Hank, she'd felt his absence on the ship every day. No “Nate-splaining” of the time where they were in. No bromance with her other best friend Ray. The one time he'd been on the ship since then, they'd been trying to curry favor with Hank for funding while taking on a very mad minotaur. She'd barely gotten to talk with him, and once the mission was done, he'd already given his farewell speech to the team. She loved ever single person on the ship: Sara, Ray, Mick, Constantine, and now even Charlie and Mona. But Nate's absence had resulted in a certain cold void in the Waverider's halls.
When Sara allowed her to look into a possible cover-up at the Time Bureau in regards to the escape of the latest fugitive, a Kaupe, she had set her mind on the mission of uncovering the truth; this was purely business. But as soon as Nate had roped himself into the mission, a jolt of energy had surged through her body. She felt the same thrill that she felt on any other mission, be it while snatching Hank's phone or quarterbacking while Nate was undercover at Hank's side. Okay, she wished she had drowned in embarrassment when Nate's mom was gushing over grandkids, and she couldn't believe how she'd slithered into the role of Nate's girlfriend despite promising not to. But playing off of Nate and working with him to uncover Hank's secrets had felt like a breath of fresh air.
However, the last 48 hours had her bear witness to Nate's heart breaking twice. It was bad enough that Nate knew about his dad covering up the true details of the Kaupe's escape; now he had to face the hard truth that Hank was creating his own army of magical fugitives. Hank had insisted that everything he was doing was for Nate, but Nate didn't want anything to do with this dark undertaking. It may have been Nate's relationship with his father that was taking a one-way trip to hell, but it was Zari who wanted to cry for him. She'd briefly squeezed his hand to try and comfort him, but it was clear that it wasn't enough to lift him out of the dump of misery he was in. As he activated his time courier to get back to the Bureau and confront Hank over his dirty dealings, Zari shuddered, worried that the Nate she'd meet next time would not be the one who had left the Waverider.
Come on Z, snap out of it. Zari dragged herself back into the world of reality. She needed to hit the bed after this exhausting day. Sara, Mona, and Ray had just come back, with a very, very mad Charlie in tow. Apparently being left to stand in for an irritable Richard Nixon had really done a number on the team's resident shapeshifter. Constantine was smoking what must have been his twentieth cigarette of the day, and Mick was in the captain's office, opening yet another beer. Zari turned around, ready to get away from all the madness.
But she'd barely advanced one foot in front of the other when the beautiful voice of Gideon, her favorite AI, rang out, “Pardon me Legends, but I have an incoming message from Dr. Heywood.”
Zari stopped in her tracks. It had barely been an hour since Nate had left. Maybe he had already gotten the truth out of Hank. What had he learned? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good, and she couldn't imagine how angry Nate would be now. But when she turned around and came face-to-face with the holographic projection of Nate, what she saw was much worse. There was a dead emptiness in Nate's eyes, a stony stiffness in his entire body. Zari could see the trajectory of tiny tears rolling down his soft cheeks. He might as well have been a living corpse.
Sara, eyes full of concern, raced over to Nate, breathlessly asking, “Nate, what happened?”
“Something's happened,” Nate droned in a dull monotone that Zari never knew he was capable of. About five seconds of silence passed by before Nate cleared his throat and let out a terrible news: “Hank's dead.”
Zari felt like her stomach was sinking, dragging the rest of her down with it. This was insane. Hank dead?
“Wait, what?” Sara stammered after a beat of silence. Everyone's faces were pale as a sheet. “Buddy, I'm sorry. What happened?” Ray whispered, voice full of shock and grief.
Nate looked down, wiping a tear from his eye. He looked back at the team with a stare that sent chills down Zari's spine. He opened his mouth and continued his story.
“U-um, I was going to his office. I was g-gonna get the truth out of him about what he was up to. And there he was lying on the floor, all the life sucked out of him. And she was crouching over him.”
“'She'? Who's 'she'?” Ray asked with an expression of sheer confusion on his face. Then a look of horrified realization came over Ray's face. His head shook in disbelief, hoping against all odds that Nate was not going to say what he thought he was going to say. But Nate said it anyway.
“Nora. Nora Darhk. I asked her what she did. She just said 'I'm sorry' and blasted all of us. She's in the wind now.”
“Blimey!” Charlie and Constantine exclaimed, faces full of horror and disbelief.
“Oh no. I thought she was a nice person,” Mona whispered, head bent in sadness.
“Geez. I need another beer,” Mick muttered, eyes wide and shaking his head.
“Nate, I'm so sorry,” Sara choked out, a tear falling from her eye. Ray was as stiff as a board, just whispering, “It can't be, it can't be.” He walked away from the bridge, unable to face his friend.
Zari couldn't believe what she was hearing. The father of her first best friend, murdered in cold blood by the woman her other best friend was trying to redeem. It all seemed so surreal. Nate mumbled something about the Bureau trying to track down Nora and then signed off. Zari quietly walked back to her quarters in shock. Sure, she'd barely known Hank, and she sure was mad that he was torturing fugitives and potentially laying the groundwork for her dystopian hell in 2042 while he was it. But the knowledge that he was Nate's dad still made her concerned for him. Maybe there really was something more to it all. But now they'd never know. Zari had already lost her own parents, so she couldn't bear the thought of Nate going through this loss.
The night didn't go by easily for Zari. She couldn't sleep, and Nate was in her thoughts the whole time. The very person for whom he had left the team to mend fences with was gone. What did Nate have now to go on? How was he dealing with this? Sure his family was there in D.C., but he couldn't possibly tell them that some crazy witch had sucked Hank dry of his life. Nor could he possibly tell them that his father was torturing magical creatures in some black site. Only the rest of the team could truly understand his pain, and their hands were chock-full with all the new magical threats out there. Zari just wanted to be there for him so badly.
But maybe she could. As far as Nate's folks were concerned, she was his doting girlfriend; no one would ask any unwanted questions. He needed all the support he could get. Her mind was made. Sara, Constantine, and the rest of the team had all the manpower they needed to take on fugitives for the week. They would be fine. As soon as she got up, she hurriedly packed some of her nicest clothes into her backpack. She walked into the kitchen to find Sara eating her breakfast.
“Hey, captain. How are you holding up?” Zari asked as she sat down next to Sara.
“Not well. Can't imagine what Nate's going through. I know Hank was in some dirty stuff, but still, he's Nate's dad, you know?” Sara put down her fork with a glum expression. “What's with the bag?”
“Yeah, um, I was thinking I wanna go to 2019 and stick around with Nate for a bit.”
“I'm not sure being around the team is the best idea for him right now,” Sara replied, eyes tightly shut. “I think he needs some space. Plus, we can't just stop hunting fugitives. Gideon's already tracking a few alerts in Elizabethan England and ancient Sumer. We need all hands on deck.”
Zari could understand what Sara was saying, but she had made up her mind. She said back, “Sara, I get what you're saying. But we're the only ones Nate can talk to about all this. Plus, it's just me. I'm sure you can manage. You've got Constantine and the others to hold down the fort. You guys can swing by when things cool down a bit.”
Sara suddenly sat up, eyebrows high in surprise. “Wow, someone's really getting worried for Nate. You into him like he's into you?” she said, voice full of mischievous curiosity and a smirk on her face. Zari knew exactly what Sara was thinking of. During the last mission, Nate had admitted under the influence of a truth bug that he was open to having Zari as his real girlfriend. But now was not the time to reflect on such flippant matters.
“No, no! I just think that he needs a shoulder to cry on,” Zari snapped, shaking her head furiously. “Like a shoulder who actually knows what he's going through.”
Sara settled down, her face returning to one of dulled sadness. “Yeah, sorry. Got carried away. I know now's not the time for all that. Okay, sure. Go ahead. We'll handle things here. We'll see y'all at Hank's wake, I suppose then.”
Zari perked up, excitement flowing through her every vein. “Thanks, captain! See ya!” She gave Sara a quick hug. It felt wrong to be so excited during such a sad time, but Zari couldn't wait to see Nate and be there for him. She set her time-courier to take her to Washington D.C., 2019. She had a friend to comfort.
Nate was staying at his parents' place until the wake, and Zari got there close to noon. She slowly rang the doorbell. It was Nate's mom, Dorothy, who opened the door. She was messily dressed in a casual shirt and pants, and her face had the sad weariness of a woman who clearly hadn't slept the whole night. Zari may have only met Dorothy once under very awkward circumstances, but her heart broke to see Dorothy so devastated over the death of her husband. She only hoped that Dorothy wouldn't mind her little boy's girlfriend showing up so soon during this hard time.
Zari started off slowly with a small smile, “Um hi. I heard about Mr. Heywood. I'm so sorry for your loss. I-I just wanted to see how Nate's doing. Can I come in?”
As soon as Dorothy heard Zari, it was clear that she couldn't have been happier to see her. A faint sparkle came to her eyes, and her light smile brought some color back to her face. She took a step forward and tightly hugged Zari. It was a warm embrace, one that only a mother with all the love in the world could give. For a brief second, Zari's heart swelled in response to the affection coming her way, and she could feel some small tears coming from Dorothy's eyes.
As soon as they separated, Dorothy wiped her eyes and said, “Oh Zari, thank you so much for coming. I'm so glad that you're here for Nathaniel. He's been in his room the whole morning. He won't talk to anyone. Maybe you can help him get out a bit.”
Zari stammered, “U-um, yeah sure.” Dorothy let her inside the house. There were a lot of people gathered in the large mansion, Nate's relatives and many others. She could hear all the whispered condolences and speculation about what had happened. Zari followed Dorothy upstairs to Nate's room. His door was shut tight. Zari could literally imagine Nate curled up like a ball inside, trying hard to not cry and show his pain even in the emptiness in his room.
Dorothy lightly knocked on his door and called out, “Nathaniel? Nathaniel? Come on now, dear, open up. Zari's here.”
The words had barely left her mouth, and Zari heard a large thump and the sound of hurried footsteps running to the door. As soon as it opened, Zari's worried eyes rested on Nate. He looked even worse off than his mother. The trademark volume and sheen of his hair that he loved so much was replaced by wild unkemptness and spiked strands of hair. It was obvious he hadn't changed out of his Time Bureau uniform, which was now crumpled. Nate's eyes, despite looking weary from the lack of sleep, rested on Zari and perked up. His mouth was wide open in shock.
“Zari? What are you doing here?” Nate gasped, as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Before he could say more, Zari crossed the distance between them in one step and threw her arms around him, shutting her eyes tightly as she did so. The hug lasted roughly around two seconds, but it could have easily been an eon for her. It was almost as if she hoped that some of the positive energy in her body would transfer itself to Nate, giving him the boost he needed to pull himself out of his grief. She could have held on for longer, but she didn't want to have eyeballs in her direction. Also, hugging that tightly wasn't really her kind of thing.
“I wanted to be here for you. Thought you needed someone, babe,” Zari said softly, fighting to suppress the blush that came with that last word. Nate had called her that while they were pretending to be an item in front of Hank, and she felt it was best to give Nate's mom the impression that they were still very much together in these hard times. Better to take one worry off the plate for her. Funnily enough, she felt the same tingling sensation saying that name that she had experienced when Nate had called her that. Dorothy gave her a grateful smile and left the two of them to their own devices. Zari took Nate's hand and walked him back into his room, happy to finally have a moment alone with him just to talk. No undercover pretending, no sleuthing to uncover government conspiracies. Just the two of them.
Nate lightly smiled and said, “You didn't need to come. I'm sure Sara and the others need you on the ship right now to take care of the fugitives.”
Zari put her hand on his shoulder and whispered, “They'll be fine. I just wanted to check up on you. What are pretend girlfriends for?” A coy smile came to her lips as she said that last bit.
“Come on, Z. Get outta here. It's bad enough that I've gotta put on a sad face here. You don't have to do it too,” Nate snapped, standing up sharply as he did. Zari could smell the tough-guy act in his voice. Nate was clearly trying to fight off his grief with anger over Hank's actions. And the struggle was killing him. That wasn't going to happen on Zari's watch. She tightly slapped her right hand over Nate's mouth and put her left finger up to her own lips.
“Shhhhh. Cut out the tough guy act,” Zari said with the strictness of a schoolteacher. “I'm here for you because I care about you. You're my friend, and I'm not letting you go through this alone, whether you like it or not. Now get out of this tight , stinky uniform and take a shower. You need to get some air.”
As soon as she removed her hand, Nate did a double take, stunned at Zari's persistence. His wide eyes made it clear that he never expected Zari to behave like this. He exclaimed, “Okay, okay, I'll do it. But where the heck are we going?”
An idea for a distraction formed in Zari's mind. She gave a light smile and replied, “Well, you know what always picks me up when I'm down. Some nice grub. I saw a good Mexican place on my way here. Now shut up and clean up. We're getting out of this house.”
About an hour later, Nate and Zari found themselves sitting together at the Sabores de Monterrey restaurant in the center of D.C. The drive to the place had been rather quiet, with Nate clearly trying to avoid discussion and Zari not really sure what to say in the first place. They ordered rather quickly, with Nate ordering some beef enchiladas and Zari taking chicken tacos. About five minutes after that, Nate finally worked up the courage to say something beyond sweet nothings.
“Hey Z, I've been wanting to tell you something since the time I left the ship,” Nate said slowly, clearing his throat while he was at it. “I owe you an apology.”
“Huh? What for?” Zari had to admit that she was surprised by this apology.
Nate leaned forward, face full of contrition, and explained, “Sorry you're spending all this time away from the team. Hunting fugitives with the rest of the team is so much better than having to participate in this sob party. And all this for a guy who basically ruined your life.”
“What do you mean?” Zari understood that Nate was mad at what his father had done, but she didn't expect him to say this. She allowed him to continue; maybe letting out all of his feelings was the best for him.
“You told me that what my dad was doing was a lot like what ARGUS is doing to metas in your time. Chances are they probably were fans of his work and adopted it. It's all this sick stuff that made them come after your parents and your brother, what got Hank killed in the end. It took your family away from you. I- I just wish I'd caught it sooner. You may have never met us, but you wouldn't have had to be on the run your whole life, and you all would be happy.”
Wow, Nate was really trying to avoid embracing his grief. And it looked like the route he was taking was blaming Hank's activities for what happened to him. She was touched by Nate's concern over the implications of his father's work in regards to her time, but blaming himself for what happened to her was not going to end well. Zari needed to put the brakes on this before Nate broke down.
“Hey, what your dad did is on him. That's not on you. You can't blame yourself for that. We're friends, and that's not going to come in between us.” Zari made sure to grab his hand firmly while saying this. Now it was her turn to talk and be the comforter.
“Remember when we first met?”
For the first time since Nate had found out the full truth about Hank, he chuckled. It was a warm laugh, and Zari could see a little bit of her old friend coming back. He said in the middle of his laugh, “How could I forget? You left us in front of that ARGUS drone. Then you played us like a fiddle to get your brother's totem back. And me getting high on the Lyoga root tea? Oh what a mess that was. And I still can't get over how you figured out about me and Amaya so quickly!”
Zari lightly smiled, fondly remembering the crazy adventures of their first meeting. She continued, “Well come on, even an idiot could figure out how crazy you were about her. And I still can't get over how you kissed a Dominator! Your face was priceless!” She couldn't stop giggling over Nate's embarrassment over that particular incident.
Just at that moment, the waiter brought their food to the table. The smell of the food in front of Zari felt like heaven. She hadn't had Mexican food before; she was trying out something new today. And what better time to do it than with someone she cared so much about? But as soon as her eyes wandered back to Nate, again she saw the long face of the guilt-ridden boy.
“Hey, why the sad face? I thought we were here to make you feel better!” Zari quipped as she lightly punched him in the shoulder.
Nate shook his head, his hand covering his face, and mumbled, “This all feels wrong. Us sitting here messing around, going out on a date right now. What must everyone be thinking?”
Geez, what was it going to take to get Nate out of this self-punishing depression? Zari decided that she needed to get more proactive about this. She put on a light smirk and readied her next response.
“Who says this is a date? And who needs to know about this? This is just me helping you clear your head,” Zari intoned, grabbing Nate's jaw with her left hand and one of his enchiladas with her right. She forced Nate's mouth open and shoved the enchilada in. “And this is me getting some food into your stomach. Plus, I've never heard of starvation making a guy feel better. Now please chew.”
Nate's eyes widened in shock as the rich flavors of chile, beef, and cheese flooded his taste buds. He grabbed a hold of the rolled tortilla halfway in his mouth and munched down. Zari could tell he was savoring every bite. She smiled as he continued his meal. Sure they couldn't keep doing this every day, but if a scrumptious meal like this could help keep Nate's mind off of his guilt, then she considered her job done. Some of the food's sauce dripped down Nate's chin and onto his shirt. Zari couldn't help herself and let out a loud laugh. Seeing Nate being such a goofball while eating was totally worth it.
Nate quickly wiped his mouth with a napkin and said, “Well, I'll tell you this: this food is heavenly.” And with those words, he went full force into the meal. Zari slowly picked up a taco and crunched away, picking up the conversation with another yarn about the anachronisms the team had fixed. As the conversation shifted from stopping Helen of Troy from destroying Hollywood to Vikings worshipping Beebo, Zari found her mind slipping away from the succulent glory of her chicken tacos to the re-vitalized man right in front of her. This was the Nate Heywood she always wanted to see. Joking around and gushing over his most embarrassing moments like there was no tomorrow. God, she could do anything to hold this Nate tightly and not let him go.
They blew through the food rather quickly, but it was easily an hour or two before they actually paid the bill. Zari led the way out of the restaurant, her arms wrapped around Nate's tough left bicep. It had been a wonderful meal, and she definitely knew another dish she could have Gideon fabricate for her back on the ship. But most importantly, Nate had clearly enjoyed the afternoon and had contentment smeared all over his place.
Zari sighed and said, “So um, you want me to call a cab?”
Nate shook his head and replied, “Actually, I was thinking we could use a walk back.”
“You serious? Walking will take nearly an hour!” Zari exclaimed. She really didn't like the thought of giving her legs that much strain.
Nate waved his hand and retorted with a smile, “Come on! I'm in no rush to get back home and get back into pretend sad-face mode. Plus, you could use the fresh air.”
Zari felt her heart go aflutter. Yeah, she definitely wasn't in a hurry to deal with the crowd of overwhelming, gossiping guests at the Heywood mansion. And any moment alone with her buddy felt like a gift. She silently nodded her head, and together they walked, hand in hand, back home. The conversation floated back to anachronism memories, specifically the crazy ones they dealt with after Amaya had left the team. Revisiting those months filled Zari with energy like never before; it was this time when she had felt her bond with Nate strengthen to what it was now. Oh, what she would give to have Gideon put them both in a time loop of those adventures, making each loop a more exciting mission than the last.
Once they got home, the sun had set, and it was time to enter the world of reality and slip back into the role of the concerned girlfriend helping her man through the grieving process. Nate settled back into the mask of the grief-stricken son, but even while interacting with the guests and accepting their soft expressions of sympathy, Zari could see some confidence seeping back into him. With time, Nate's wounds would definitely heal, and Zari would be there every step of the way.
After a long evening of condolences and a subdued dinner with mostly small talk about the funeral arrangements for Hank's funeral, Nate and Zari made their way back to Nate's childhood bedroom. Nate changed into his pajamas while Zari changed into hers as well. Dorothy had prepared one of the guest bedrooms for her to sleep in, but she wasn't ready to go there just yet. Something inside her just needed to see Nate off to bed. He wasn't a baby, but still. Some force in the universe just kept Zari stuck there.
Nate sat on his bed with a sigh and said, “Hey, Zari. You don't need to go through all this trouble. Just go back to the ship. Playing GF right now is hard enough as it is -”
A gust of air from Zari's totem on her wrist hit Nate in the face, shutting him up. She placed her hands on both his shoulders and pushed him into the bed. Nate was such a darling, but sometimes he could be too persistent.
“Shut up, Nate. There's no trouble in being there for you when you need it,” Zari snapped, pulling the blankets over Nate as she did. “Now if you don't stop yammering about trouble and acting, I'll take you outside and spin you around like I did to Mick that other time. And you should know what that feels like.”
Nate went quiet. That particular anecdote of Mick's rang fresh in his mind. That was all that was needed to put an end to this moping fest. He lifted up his hand and stroked Zari's cheek, and as he did, he asked a simple question that pierced through the tough armor Zari donned every day to defend herself against the cruelties of the world:
“What did I ever do to get a such a great pretend girlfriend like you?”
Zari was at a loss for words. This had all started as a comforting mission and act for Nate's family, but today had felt so special. As clichéd as it sounded, it felt like the universe had come to a standstill and Nate was the only thing in it that mattered. Pull yourself together Z, Zari thought to herself. Getting this emotional is only going to end badly for you. Deciding to avoid the dramatic route of over-explaining herself, Zari kept her response simple.
“Well, let's just put it like this, Nate Heywood. You're the best man out there I know, and I'm gonna be there for you, no matter what. Now just go to sleep. I'm not going anywhere until you're snoring away.” Zari put on her best strict schoolteacher face and placed her hands on her hips to make the point.
“Well, if that's what you want, Miss Tomaz, then I guess that's what I'll do,” Nate whispered with a soft chuckle. He slowly closed his eyes, and before Zari knew it, he was out like a light. She softly stroked his lovely hair, savoring the soft texture of every strand.
It had been a long day, but with all the messes with magic, fugitives, and conspiracies, Zari couldn't think of a better way she and Nate could have spent it. She had gotten a chance to forget about everything that was wrong with the world, and he had someone by his side during this rough time. Finally, Zari got up and made her way to the nice, soft bed Nate's mom had so painstakingly made for her. She had another day of comforting and a long week of sad funeral preparations ahead, but she wasn't bothered by it.
If Zari Tomaz was going to be Nate Heywood's pretend girlfriend for a few more days, she sure was going to be the best one she could possibly be.