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With Chris and Tetsuya having their hands full with their final year of baseball, you found you had less and less time with them. You were undoubtedly happy for them, but you just wished there was more time in the day. Although, knowing them, that time would probably just go to more practice.
You'd speak with them as much as possible in your LINE group chat, but it wasn't like they could just have their phones out when they were supposed to be focusing. Your time with them dwindled even further as your club activities temporarily ended morning meetings and merged them with your afternoon meetings- meaning your schedule didn't line up with theirs anymore. And now, you were left walking to and from school alone. They'd both been upset when they heard, especially Tetsuya, since he could technically walk you home if he cut his practice short. But prioritizing you over baseball was not something you wanted to see the outcome of.
"I'll be fine, Tetsuya," you rubbed his arms soothingly as you spoke. "It's not like I'm moving or anything. Cutting down on practice this close to Koshien is the last thing you should be doing right now."
"What if I reschedule my PT?" Chris asked, grabbing your hand gently. "It wouldn't be by much, and neither of us want you walking home alone, especially not that late."
"It won't even be that dark, Chris." you insisted. "And I don't want you messing with your therapy for me. You barely have enough time in the day as it is, I don't want you losing sleep or skipping exercises because of me."
Neither of them looked too ready to back down, so you decided to find a compromise. "I could ask one of the members of my club to walk with me if it'll make you feel better. A few of them live right by my house."
They both seemed to think it over before Chris caved, Tetsuya still looking furrowed as always.
"Alright. Just make sure to message us when you get home safely."
"The second you get to the door, and again when you get in. And again when you've got it locked behind you."
"Tetsu, honey, please."
-
You did manage to walk with one of your club-mates. She lived about a block closer to the school than you, so you only had to walk past a few houses alone. Everything began to run smoothly after almost a week, but then she didn't show up to the meeting, one of her classmates saying she was sick. You weren't too nervous to walk alone, even if it was even later than you'd been doing the past week. If anything, you were more nervous about what kind of security measures Tetsuya would go through to keep an eye on you your whole way home.
So, instead of dealing with that, you decided to sneak past the field so they couldn't see you leave alone. You'd wanted to drop by for even a minute, just see your boys and maybe even grab a hand or four. You refused to admit how scandalous the little things were starting to feel.
About halfway down the first block, you smiled and nodded at two girls carrying convenience store bags past you. You couldn't name them, but they looked familiar enough that you felt you should politely acknowledge them. You were nearly to your house when your legs turned to lead and you realized who they were. Of course, you had to greet your boyfriends' managers thirty minutes after you were supposed to be home, and said boyfriends weren't supposed to know. Deciding to put out that fire before it started, you dug through your bag for your phone while you walked. You quickly peeked at the sign to see it was green before crossing the street with your face shoved into your bag. It wasn't like you heard any cars coming.
It had slipped your mind that cars weren't the only things that used the road, but you definitely weren't going to forget after you felt the bike smash into you.
When your mind cleared from its fog, you managed to sit up on the sidewalk. The damage wasn't anywhere near critical- nothing felt broken, and most everything was just scraped and bruised, but apparently the flustered cyclist had heard your head hit the pavement rather hard. You wished you had broken something to just have a reason for why you were sobbing into your bleeding arms while he called you an ambulance.
The ride was a bit of a blur, most of it being the paramedic in the back trying to calm you down, but at least it was warmer than the hospital. Your parents were still working and wouldn't be able to answer the phone, and you didn't really have any other family to call. So you called the one other adult in your phone- the overprotective dad that just wanted to make sure his son and his partners knew he was there for them with his almost overwhelming support.
The phone rang long enough to almost beat your hopes down. "Hello?"
"Mr. Jorge?" your voice sounded horrible, so you took a second to clear your throat. "I'm so sorry to bother you, but I don't really know who else to call right now, and I don't want to waste any of the staff's time waiting for my parents to get off work. Also I'm very cold and also bleeding."
-
After a very panicked conversation, that you occasionally found yourself having to slip into English for, Chris' father assured you they were on their way to you before ending the call. With the reminder of Chris, you opened your LINE app to many concerned messages. Most started off from the catcher as Tetsuya had already begun practice, but there were a few from him as well sent not too long after you'd seen the managers. You felt worse for not recognizing them now. The more recent messages were private messages from Chris, probably not wanting to scare Tetsuya during practice.
Getting fed up with how poorly your screen was registering your fingers, you got up to wash your hands off in the bathroom. Your legs hurt, mostly just bruises and scabbing scrapes, and shook a bit as you walked. They nearly gave out when you saw yourself in the hallway mirror. Your hair was understandably a mess, and your face was covered in dirt and blood from a nasty scrape covering your cheek; the only clean spots seemed to be the tear tracks you'd left. You looked more like you'd been chucked over a cliff than hit with a bike, but you do remember a lot of face rubbing.
"I'm an absolute mess," you declared to yourself.
A nurse stopped walking for a moment, but seemed either reassured or put-off by the smile you attempted as he left. You spent a little bit longer in front of the mirror, trying to at least fix your hair. You were a little too scared to see what actual damage was done to your face.
You were interrupted by someone calling your name in a tone that suggested the both wanted and didn't want you to be who they thought you were. Turning your head slowly- both because of its soreness and because you weren't prepared for confrontation- you met the moderately horrified stare of your boyfriend.
"Hey, babe, how's therapy going?" your voice cracked more than a little as you tried to lighten the mood for someone's(everyone's) sake.
Chris walked towards you and his hands hovered over different parts of you like he didn't know what to lecture you about and fix first.
A very flustered "Oh my God!" came from behind him. Leaning a bit, you greeted his father.
"Hey, Mr. Jorge. Sorry again for the inconvenience. I promise I'm not as undead as I look."
No one appreciated your humor as much as you did in that moment.
-
Chris took you into the bathroom to try and clean you up while his father tried to call your parents to sort out some of the paperwork. He was halfway through cleaning your face with a wad of damp toilet paper when you grabbed his shaking hands.
"Babe?" you called gently. "Hey, I'm okay. I just rubbed my grimy ass hands all over my face and made everything look that much worse."
He let out a deep, tense breath, instead of replying. Knowing he was upset, you intercepted his hands as he tried to clean you up again.
"Would you feel better if you yell at me?"
He seemed offended at the insinuation.
"Okay, would you like me to call Jun so he can yell at me for you?"
"I'd like for you to call me," he stepped closer to you, and you found yourself stepping back against the counter as his arms caged you in.
Scared wasn't something that he had ever made you feel, but it was easy to forget how cold his eyes could get.
"You didn't think to call either one of us until you had no other option? And it wasn't even us you called." Chris leaned in as he spoke until he realized how spooked you looked.
Taking a deep breath, he moved so his back was against the wall next to you. "Why didn't you call us? When you left late, when you left alone, when you got hurt, when you were on your way to the hospital- why didn't you call us?"
Even with him giving you space, you felt like you were suffocating. "I didn't want to bother you."
"Why do you keep saying that? You keep telling Tetsu and I that you're here for us, that you want us to come to you. And then you don't give us that same trust?" You grabbed the edge of the counter tightly as the two of you stood in silence.
It wasn't that you didn't trust them, not really. They were just busy. Tetsuya had practice, and Chris had therapy. He needed to finish his physical therapy so he could play baseball again. So they could play baseball together. And baseball meant the world to them.
"More than me." You barely registered the words as you muttered them.
"What?"
You shook your head, and there was a knock on the door. "Yuu, there's a doctor that can check on her now."
Chris grabbed your arm gently and led you to the door.
-
The examination felt basic, almost enough to put yourself on autopilot. When the doctor has stepped out and left you alone, you found yourself texting Chris things you were too scared to say to his face.
'You two mean the world to me, and that means I want to see you two happy. And you're happiest when you're playing together. I don't want to be the one to get in the way of that because I'm too damn cursed to do anything on my own without calling you.'
You read it over, and you were upset you enough to hit send without reconsidering.
His response, a simple- 'We're talking about this in person- together.' - felt like you should have indeed reconsidered.
-
When the doctor cleared you, you debated running full speed into the door and demanding he check you again. When you got to the waiting room, you debated it a bit more seriously.
Chris' father had been replaced by his side by Tetsuya, and your body decided that if it tensed up every muscle and stayed absolutely still, they wouldn't see you standing in the middle of the hallway in front of them. Both looked (understandably) upset, but you were (less understandably) prepared to find the nearest window and find a way to convince them they'd hallucinated this experience.
And then they stood up and walked towards you. You didn't have time to determine what kind of expression you were making before you were being silently tugged down a hallway.
Jun had always talked about how Tetsu got a certain aura around him during games, and if was anything as stifling as this, you felt pity for any pitcher he'd gone against.
They brought you to an unoccupied room a ways off, full of training equipment and mats. A familiar bag and jacket in the corner answered the question you hadn't even asked of how quickly Chris and his father had gotten to you. As said partner closed the door behind you, the other pulled you into his arms.
"Are you okay?" Chris asked, making his way to the two of you.
It took you a moment to speak as you basked in the warmth of Tetsuya's hug. "Nothing below the surface."
He let you go too soon and led you to sit on a weight bench as they took up your sides. It was silent for long enough that you realized they were waiting for you to speak first. You picked at the gauze wrapped around your hand and decided to lay it all out at once.
"My club-mate was home sick today. We got out late, so I went the long way around the school so Tetsuya wouldn't see me and worry. Then I ran into two of your managers, but it took me a while to recognize them. I was going to get my phone to call Tetsuya and tell him before they could, but a bike came down the road- I checked the damn light, it was my turn to cross- when I was going through my bag." You paused for a moment and hoped that would be enough, but you barely brushed up on the list you were given in the bathroom.
"After I got hit, I was just crying on the sidewalk so that wouldn't have been a productive phone call. I barely remember the ambulance ride, but I think I was still crying. I was trying to call my parents and figure out the paperwork, but they're still at work, so they wouldn't be able to help. So I called Chris' dad because he's pretty much the only other adult in my contacts and I just... figured he'd tell you." Your words drifted into a mumble as you shrank, recognizing why Chris could possibly be upset with you.
Jun always preached how communication would keep your relationship flowing, but he never said it'd be exhausting. Or make you feel so vulnerable.
"And the text you sent me?"
"The text she sent you?"
The text you sent Chris.
Chris pulled out his phone and handed it to Tetsuya, letting him read it over.
"Are you more upset about that than not calling?" You were hoping it was no.
"If that's how you really feel, then yes."
"Ah."
"Is this how you really feel?" Tetsuya shifted to face you.
You looked at him from the corner of your eye to see him still looking at the screen. Your lack of immediate 'no' seemed to be a good enough 'yes' for the situation at hand.
"Is that why you wouldn't let us walk you home?" He guessed.
"I know how much you guys love baseball. I don't want to get in your way." Neither of them seemed too happy with your confession.
"If this was about rescheduling a date, I'm sure we'd appreciate the support." Chris said. "But we're talking about your health and safety. That isn't a lesser concern to us than playing."
"I don't know that! I don't have anything like that, so I'm just walking across a bridge with my eyes closed hoping I don't step wrong and bring the whole thing down!"
Hands on your shoulders pulled you back to them, Tetsuya securing an arm around your waist.
"Which is why we talk," he said. "So you don't sit alone feeling like this when we can tell you what you need to know."
You opened your mouth to keep rambling, but just let out a shaky breath as you grabbed Tetsuya's arm. Something seemed to click for Chris as he moved closer, wrapping his arms around you and tilting your head to his shoulder. Tetsuya pulled back for a moment to straddle the bench and move closer, pinning you between them.
"I'm sorry," you mumbled, feeling your eyes sting. "I'm sorry."
Chris shushed you as he kissed the top of your head. "We haven't had much time together lately, have we? When's the last time we've been able to hold each other."
"Twenty-three days," Tetsuya answered rather quickly.
You closed your eyes and focused on the feeling of them just being there. "We should work on talking. My mom said you two can come over whenever you want. You'd have to meet her first, but we'd have the place to ourselves whenever you get a day off."
Chris chuckled softly. "That's going to require a conversation all on its own."
"What, why?" You tilted your head back to look at Chris.
"We'll let you know what boundaries we have with baseball, and then we'll all come to terms with the boundaries we have when we're alone."
"I was just gonna get a movie or something to watch in my room while we talk. And cuddle. Or we could make that box of brownies that have been in my cabinet forever. And cuddle." you didn't really have an elaborate plan, but you were pretty dead set on cuddling.
Chris sounded like he'd been defeated behind you, while Tetsuya looked like he'd been hit with inspiration.
"I can bring a shogi board."
You nodded in confirmation as Chris nearly slid off the bench. "You two are going to kill me."
The look you shared with Tetsuya told you that it wasn't completely unintentional. You leaned forward and kissed him softly, wrapping your arms around his waist.
"I'm sorry again. I'll talk to you guys next time."
Tetsuya hummed in agreement, taking a kiss for himself before nudging you towards Chris. The catcher wrapped his arms around both of you, leaning down to kiss down the uninjured side of your face.
"I'm sorry for how I acted in the bathroom," he said. "Being upset wasn't a reason to treat you like that, I'm sorry for scaring you."
You freed a hand to tug him closer and kiss him on the lips, rubbing your thumb against his jaw.
"Thank you," you said when you pulled away. "I know you wouldn't hurt me, but I was already freaked out and I don't like being cornered."
He pressed a firm kiss to your temple and Tetsuya seemed to get impatient and tug him into his own kiss.
"I'm sorry," he said, causing you and Chris to lean back.
"What'd you do?" Chris asked.
"You both had your moment and I just felt left out not having anything to apologize for."
"Tetsu was that a brag?"