Work Text:
Iori sets his pen down on the kitchen table. He picks up the papers of his homework assignment, aligns them and slides them into a folder in his schoolbag. With that out of the way, he looks out the window, then glances at his watch. It's rather lateーthe sun is just about to setーand Mitsuki hasn't returned home yet. The dinner their mother made for them is cold across from Iori, on the side Mitsuki regularly sits on.
Normally, Iori does his studying and homework in the privacy of his room. On days like this, though, days when Mitsuki runs up to him, excited as can be, bright and early in the morning, shouting about how he has another audition at another idol agencyーhe feels the need to stay in the dining room until he returns that night.
It usually doesn't take this long, though.
Iori isn't certain what to think of the delay. He twirls his pristine dark blue stationery pen between his fingers, fumbling over the possibilities. He's anxious, for sure. It's difficult to decide whether this situation will turn out good or bad. He fears what he might hear when Mitsuki finally comes through the front doorー
Click.
As if on cue, the front door opens. What Iori sees instantly confirms his fears. Mitsuki is faced away from him, faced away from everything, as if trying to avoid the world. He shuts the door, shucks his shoes off, and without saying a word to Iori, begins to walk upstairs.
Iori lifts himself out of the dining chair, calmly walking toward his brother, hand subconsciously outreached to him. "Nii-san, welcome home."
Mitsuki looks back at him just for a moment. Iori can tell his face is wet, and it certainly isn't raining outside. His expression is certainly not his usual cheery oneーhe was crying, has probably been crying up until he came through the door.
Iori swallows, desperately trying to keep his cool. "How did the audition go? I bet you were amaziー"
"How do you think it went, Iori?" Mitsuki snaps.
Iori recoils, hand drawing back as if Mitsuki had just slapped him.
"I-I'm sorry. Don't let it get to you, Nii-san. Surely next time will be successful," Iori says, putting two fingers to his chin in thought, "Perhaps there's something we missed in training last time in regards to your appeal. We should work onー"
"There is no we about this. I don't need your help."
Iori shivers unnoticably. He knows how intense Mitsuki can be when he's upset. It comes in burstsーanger, then explosive anger, avoidance, depression. Once he reaches a point, it's hard for Iori to even get him to talk to him. He needs to work through this as calmly an analytically as possible.
"I'm only trying to be encouraging, Nii-san. I believe in you, I believe that one of these days you'll find the agency who has the eyes to see that you're far more capable than the rest of them think. All we need to do is find a balance between your appearance and your idol persona in order to reach a larger audience in terms of appeal."
Mitsuki turns back to walk upstairs. Before he can take a step, Iori's hand lurches forward again, capturing Mitsuki's wrist in his grasp. "You have so much potential. I don't understand why nobody can see that."
Mitsuki rips his hand away so fast and hard that it burns Iori's palm. "And you think I do!? I thought I had something, I thought I could achieve what I've always dreamed of, but clearly I'm horrible and talentless, because they kick me to the curb so fast it gives me fucking whiplash!"
Iori's calm expression breaks. He didn't want to antagonize Mitsuki like this. All he wanted was to comfort him, but it's just making him feel worse. "Nii-san, you are not talentless, you have incredible ability, those companies just wantー"
"Want what? If I knew what they wanted, I'd give it to them. If I had to bend and twist myself to give them what they wanted, I would." Mitsuki's brows furrow, his fists clench at his sides. "I wouldn't care."
"Don't say that. You're fine the way you are, you just need to utilize what you have. I can help you to figure out how to sway their hearts in the right direction. There's nothing wrong with you, Nii-san."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm giving up, Iori. It's unrealistic to have such an unachievable dream."
Before Iori can say another word, Mitsuki bolts upstairs to his room. The door slams, hard, and for a split second Iori is thankful that his parents are such heavy sleepers. That feeling is quickly replaced with crushing regret and sorrow.
It pains Iori to think about it. That there could be someoneーmany someonesーwho can lead Mitsuki to believe he's nothing, that he's worthless, and that his dream will never come to fruition. The fact that there are people in the world who have made his dear brother feel this way makes Iori hate a chunk of humanity, the chunk who dare tear the most pure, energetic, sunshiney person he's ever known down to such a raw, pathetic state.
They don't see what I see. If I were a manager, he'd debut immediately. Whatever the group dynamic, whoever was involved. Nii-san isn't just any regular cookie-cutter person these agencies tend to look for. He's so much more than that. He's better than that. They should really open their eyes.
For Iori, it's hard to understand Mitsuki's feelings and situation directly. Mitsuki isn't perfect like he is. Mitsuki makes plenty of mistakes, does plenty of things wrong. His singing isn't flawless, but when Iori hears his voice, his heart is filled with hope and love. His dancing needs improvement, but with the right guidance and training he has the potential to be incredible.
Mitsuki has an energy like no other. Iori has never felt the sort of thing his brother radiates from anybody else. He's unique, bright, and perfectly flawed.
Iori knows, as he walks up the stairs to Mitsuki's room, that he'll turn him away at the door, yell at him to go away, tell to leave him alone, say that he's fine and doesn't need Iori's pity; but Iori isn't the kind to stand around and leave his very upset big brother in the dirt. He may be bad with comfortingーfinding the right thing to say is always hardーbut he has to try. Iori will chip away at the walls Mitsuki puts up. The ones he builds between himself and Iori, the ones he keeps sturdy in order to keep his big brotherly image intact.
He knocks a couple times on the bedroom door. No answer. Mitsuki's ignoring him, now.
"Nii-san, please let me talk to you." He says, hopefully loud enough so that Mitsuki can hear.
Shortly after, he hears something from behind Mitsuki's door. That's not his brother's voice, no, it's nothing like it at all. He listens closer, and realizes Mitsuki has put on one of Zero's old live show DVDs, either in order to drown out the sound of Iori talking, or to dig himself deeper into the hole he's in. Or even, perhaps, to hide the fact that he's crying again, and doesn't want Iori to hear.
That last consideration is what makes Iori shout, "Excuse me! I'm coming in!" Before twisting the doorknob and letting himself inside.
"Nii-san..."
Mitsuki is on his bed, knees hugged to his chest, face buried behind his arms so Iori can't seeーhe knows, though. He can hear him now, even over the sound of Zero singing on the television. Without hesitation, Iori steps over and shuts the TV off on its unit, then goes to his brother who's curled up, sobbing pathetically. He looks up for only a second before he yells, "Go away! Leave me alone!"
Just as Iori suspected. He's going to reject his sympathy, cry himself to sleep, then pretend he's just fine in the morning. No, Iori thinks, I won't let you do this to yourself.
He sits down on the bed next to Mitsuki, then immediately wraps his arms around him in a tight embrace. It's awkward at this angle and Iori is bad at hugging to begin with, but he hopes physical affection will get through to him better than words.
Mitsuki chokes on tears, refusing to return Iori's hug for a long minute. When Iori rests his head on Mitsuki's shoulder, though, he gives, and turns to slip his arms past Iori's ribs and hold him tightly. He buries his face in his little brother's shoulder, sobbing loudly and trembling in Iori's hold.
Iori's heart stings as he rubs gentle circles on his brother's back. Mitsuki's crying slows and he rubs his eyes on the fabric of Iori's shirt.
"It's okay, Nii-san. Everything will be alright." Iori closes his eyes and rests his cheek on Mitsuki's shoulder again, holding him as tight and as close as he thinks is possible.
Mitsuki hiccups through his tears. "Wh-why does this keep happening? Why don't they understand that I'm capable of improving even if I'm not that great? How come you believe in me but none of them do?"
"All those agencies are worthless. I know you far better than they ever will. If they can't see that you aren't like the rest, they don't deserve you." Iori says, pulling himself out of the embrace and placing his hands on Mitsuki's shoulders. "You have unique talent, Nii-san. You can do things that a lot of idols cannot."
Mitsuki palms at his eyes. "Like what?"
Iori looks to the side and ponders for a second. "You can turn the mood in an instant. When you are happy, everyone around you becomes happy. The things you do and the things you say have such positive impact on the ones surrounding you. If you were placed in a group with communication issues, you'd be key to solving the problem and making everyone feel better."
Mitsuki sniffles.
"You have an energy unlike any other. You're strong, mentally and physically. Your voice warms the heart of anyone who hears you."
"Iori..."
"You're as bright as the morning sun, as passionate as a roaring fire, you're compassionate, charming, cuteーahem. The point is, Nii-san, you're incredible. Whoever fails to see that are the ones in the wrong."
A hint of a smile appears on Mitsuki's face.
"I am not just saying these things to make you feel better. I mean them all, from the bottom of my heart."
Iori's hands drop down, and Mitsuki lowers his as well, tracing along the veins of his brother's hands with his thumb. "I... appreciate all of this, Iori, it's a little embarrassing, actually, but... why are you so keen on this? It's my problem, not yours."
"Because Nii-san's dream is mine as well."
"You don't make any sense sometimes, y'know?" Mitsuki's smile cracks a bit wider.
"I mean that making your dream a reality is a dream in itself. My dream. I want you to be happy."
Iori stops for a second. The atmosphere in the room is already awkward and embarrassing enough as it is. He figures pushing a little bit more at this point shouldn't make much of a difference.
"I'm truly shocked that there are human beings who can look at you and not instantly fall in love with you."
"O-Okay, okay, I get it! Stop saying such embarrassing stuff!" Mitsuki laughs, then dips his head back into Iori's shoulder, not using it to wipe his tears or anything this time. He rests there, and wraps his arms back around his brother. "You're exaggerating."
"Perhaps I am, perhaps I am not."
Mitsuki catches a chuckle in his throat. "Do you always have to be so annoyingly philosophical?"
He's still upset, Iori can tell. He isn't shaking or crying anymore, though, and his heart isn't pounding nearly as hard; he's sighing softly against Iori's neck, which tickles a little, but Iori does his best not to giggle at a time like this.
"I know you don't want my help. I recognize that you want to achieve this on your own. Which is why I'm only going to be assisting you in secret," Iori explains, easing himself out of the hug in order to look directly into Mitsuki's eyes. "You won't even know I had anything to do with it. I'll be like your shadow."
Mitsuki laughs nervously. "I'm not sure what you mean, but I guess I can't really stop you." His eyes cast downward, too anxious to keep eye contact for terribly long. "If it's your dream, too, it'd be dumb of me to tell you that you can't help."
"You're just too stubborn to admit when you need help, is all, Nii-san." Iori's head tilts a bit as he smiles at him.
"Y-Yeah, whatever!" Mitsuki waves a hand dismissively. "Do what you need to, I won't reject you anymore. I... I'm sorry I yelled. It's just been..." He trails off, hoping that Iori will get the gesture. He does, and Iori takes a hold of one of Mitsuki's hands.
"I know. I promise I'll make your dream a reality." Iori grips that hand tighter. "I'd like you to promise me something, in return."
Mitsuki blinks a couple times. "Yeah, sure, anything for you. Hit me."
"When you become the world's greatest and most popular idol..." Iori pauses and brings Mitsuki's fingers to his lips, then quickly averts his gaze, cheeks flushing brighter each passing second. "Don't forget about me, okay?"
He hesitantly puts Mitsuki's hand back down. The words just sort of came out; Iori thought maybe it would sound less embarrassing than it did. He hears Mitsuki chuckle, though, so he looks back up at him. The tears are gone, and his face is a bit red.
"I wouldn't dream of it." Mitsuki manages through laughter. He then leans over to his brother and plants a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. "Thanks for everything, Iori."