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Grizz waved his hand as he saw Luke coming into the café where he had asked the boy to meet him. He felt nervous and kind of ashamed of what he was going to ask Luke, even though he wasn’t going to be completely honest with his friend.
He didn’t feel ready yet, but he knew he’d have to tell him someday. He also knew that Luke was going to accept him, so there was nothing to be afraid of. But still, he felt that telling his friends would change everything, and he wasn’t going to take the risk.
Not until they were graduated and he could finally leave the town and be free somewhere else. Or that was his intention before that trip. That trip changed everything.
He knew he had been crushing on the cute deaf guy long before the trip, but it wasn’t until then, when he was finally able to talk (or sing) to Sam, when he realized that he was irremediably falling in love.
That’s why he had called Luke. He needed advice, and he was the best person he could think of, he had the healthiest relationship he was aware of after all.
The jock sat in front of Grizz, and they started talking about school and random stuff until Luke asked the important question, which made Grizz tremble a little.
“Why are we here anyway? You said you had to tell me something important, right?”
“We- well yes, I have something important to ask you. But you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone, okay?” Grizz answered, not really knowing what he was going to say next or how he was going to explain the situation to the other boy without talking about his sexuality.
“I promise, don’t worry. As if anyone was interested on knowing your deepest secrets.” Joked Luke, hoping his friend was finally going to tell him he liked guys, something he had known for some time now, and he could be able to talk freely to Luke finally. That’s why Grizz’s next sentence caught him off guard. “So there’s this girl I really like and…And I don’t really know much about relationships or talking to someone you fancy, so I was hoping maybe you could…teach me or something? If you want to.”
Luke took a few seconds to finally process what his friend was asking him. He felt a little bad thinking that Grizz didn’t feel confident enough to tell him the whole truth, but respected that he wanted to take his time, so he finally answered de question. “Yeah, of course man, that’s what friends are for right? Helping each other.” And after a few seconds when either of them talked, Luke spoke again “So… what’s her name?” He wasn’t sure why he had asked that, but he couldn’t go back now, so he waited for Grizz’s answer, even if he knew it was going to be a lie.
“Ehh… Sam-Samantha, her name’s Samantha” He replied, and Luke thought that he couldn’t be more obvious. “I don’t know any Samantha, is from here? ”He asked. “Yes, no, well yes, but not from high school, she studies at home so that’s why you haven’t heard of her.” Replied an even more nervous Grizz. Luke didn’t want to force him into telling him, so he pretended to believe him, and told Grizz to meet him at the same place the following day, so they could talk about “Samantha” and Grizz’s intentions. He promised to help him on finding a way to getting closer to “her” and telling “her” how he felt. But that’d have to wait for the next day, because Luke was already late to his date with Helena, and didn’t want her to wait.
Grizz felt something strange on his belly, he was so happy he was going to finally talk about his crush to someone, even if that meant pretending Sam was a girl, and more importantly, he was going to learn how to talk to him about his feelings.
That made him get nervous too, he was scared of what Sam’s reaction would be like. Did he feel the same way? Would he laugh at Grizz’s face? But what scared Grizz the most was what if Sam thought it was a joke? He didn’t want to hurt him, but he knew the feeling of thinking no one would ever love you, or even like you. So he wanted to make sure know he was completely serious when the time to tell him came. He loved Sam with all his heart, and would hate himself forever if he hurted him in any way.