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Summary
Emotions were never Lup’s forte. Which was ironic, considering the fact that the Starblaster ran on the crew’s bonds and emotions and basic fucking empathy.
She didn’t like to think about what she felt. There was only the grind of each and every day on the ship, searching, finding, discovering, and eventually, fighting. There was the death that only lasted a year at most, and the constant worry of the Hunger attacking even when they knew they had time, and the uncertainty of each plane Davenport crossed them into.
There were reasons she didn’t like confronting her emotions. If she let them all get to her, if she let down her emotional walls at all, the force of her fucked up life would kill her, and she wasn’t even sure that was a figurative statement.