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Roy knew all about war. He’d been on the frontlines of one just ten years ago, but this war was nothing like it. This war was one between his brain and a certain part of his anatomy. Fullmetal was pacing angrily ranting about God knows what (he’d said at the beginning but Roy had been too caught up trying to keep his thoughts in order) and those stupid leather pants of his were molded to that fine ass...damn, he would not go there. Never mind that his cheeks had a slight flush from his outburst. Never mind that some of his hair had come loose during his monologue. Damn, Roy could just imagine that it was because he was in the throes of passion (of the physical variety). He wished he was the one having that effect on him.
Ed waved his arms a bit, inadvertently making his black tank go up to reveal a stretch of smooth, taut skin and wouldn’t Roy like to have his tongue on it. He’d finger and tongue and tease before - no, NO, NO! At the rate he was going there was no way in hell he’d be able to stand up without embarrassing himself. He was ready to slam him down on the desk and show him the time of his life.
“Well I’ve got to go!” Ed’s voice sounding a little strained interrupted any further fantasies and just like that he was gone, leaving Roy to compose himself as best he could.
“That bastard,” muttered Ed as he footed it down the hallway, “Fuck him and his bedroom eyes.” Yes, fuck him sounds like a good idea. The thought came out of nowhere, or at least nowhere Ed would admit. It was after hours which meant the place was empty. Fortunately for Ed, it meant he didn’t have to worry about getting caught with the bulge in his pants. Unfortunately, it was the very thing that had landed him in the predicament to start with.
He’d walked in to check for updates on the Philosopher’s Stone and found that the Colonel had taken advantage of being alone and not only disposed of his jacket, but had gone so far as to roll his sleeves up and undo the top three buttons of his shirt. He’d been sitting there looking like sex and well aware of it. So he’d done the only thing he could think of to cover the blush he’d felt creeping up and flew off the handle ranting about the first thing that popped into his head: toilet paper. Luckily, the Colonel indulged his little tirade and never made any sarcastic remarks. Although he had looked as if he’d like to go off on a rant of his own. No matter, Ed wasn’t going to stick around to find out what had the Colonel’s panties (did the Colonel wear briefs? Boxers? No, no don’t think about him not wearing anything!) in a wad.
Damn. He couldn’t go back to the dorms looking like this. Even if he pulled his red coat closed it hurt way too much to walk all that distance. Maybe he could take care of himself in the bathroom. Yes, yes! Do it while the image of Roy’s collarbones is fresh in your mind! A wicked part of him cried.
What part of jacking off in a military bathroom sounds like a good idea? Countered his brain, but his feet where already walking him over.