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jerheere is live: i don’t know how to do livestreams
“—and Michael started balling his eyes out.” Jeremy says, laughing really hard.
Michael elbows Jeremy in the ribs. “I did not.”
“You did and I have the footage to prove it.”
Michael scowls.
“ What tattoos did you guys get? Oh shit, we never showed you guys, did we?”
“Do we show them, or keep them waiting?” Jeremy asks.
Michael’s smile is mischievous, “Keep them waiting until the end of the stream.”
Jeremy looks at the screen, “Yes, he is evil. I second that.”
“I’m not evil, I just know how to keep people’s attention. You know, like I did last night—”
“OKAY! Let’s get back to the questions please,” Jeremy’s cheeks are slightly flushed.
“Aw, is wittle JerBear embarrassed that I had my hand around his—”
“Please,” Jeremy groans, putting his head in his hands. “I can’t even read the questions because your suggestive comments are making them go insane.”
“Suggestive comments? Me? Never.”
“That’s it. I’m friend-breaking up with you. Please collect your shit and get out.”
“You can’t do that, I’m your best friend. Plus, who’s going to get you weed and suck your—”
Jeremy lifts his head from his hands and slaps a hand over Michael’s mouth. “BACK TO THE QUESTIONS.” His eyes focus on the screen, flicking back and forth. “How did you know you were bi? There was a lot of hints, but I had an inkling when I found both Bella and Edward in Twilight to be smokin’.”
“You discovered you were bi when you watched Twilight? That’s gotta be the saddest thing I’ve ever fucking heard.” Michael said, reaching for something off screen and his hand comes back with a Mountain Dew. The can pops when he opens it.
“Kristen Stewart and Robert Patterson were the hottest couple back then,” Jeremy protested.
“Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt say hello,” Michael takes a sip from his can. “Next question, uh, Are you and Michael going to date now that you’re out?
Jeremy sports a confused look. “Now that I’m out? I was never in in the first place. I just haven’t said it aloud because I thought it wasn’t important.”
Michael wipes a nonexistent tear from his eye, “That was beautiful, Jerry. But seriously, when are we gonna hook up?”
“I thought we already did.” Jeremy says with a straight face.
Michael chokes on his Mountain Dew. “I’m really starting to rub off on you. Finally!”
“More like unfortunately,” Jeremy looks at the screen again. “Uhh, oh, Why didn’t you tell Michael you were bi sooner? Well, like I said earlier, I didn’t think it was that important. Plus, it was going to come out some time with all this Meremy stuff going around the internet.”
“It was going to come out because a picture of you sucking my d—”
“Give me one moment.” Jeremy covered the camera with his hand, and unintelligible murmuring can be heard.
“…fucking dick joke one more time…”
“…called comedy you ass…”
“…expose…”
“…my ass…”
“…you’re high…”
Jeremy murmurs something and Michael laughs suddenly.
“…yes, I will if you stop…”
“Thank god,” Jeremy says and uncovers the camera. “I want it on record that Michael agreed to leave the livestream because I promised him Mountain Dew.”
“I also want it on record that I only agreed because it’s the good shit from Seven Eleven, not just because it’s Mountain Dew.” Michael says, standing up. Only his torso is in frame. “Did they just have a fight? Yes we did because JerJer over here is sensitive to dick jokes.”
“Try living with him for a day and see if you don’t get tired of dick jokes too.” Jeremy says.
“My dick jokes are a message sent from God. They are literally blessing you as they come out of my mouth.”
Jeremy is unamused. “I can hardly believe that God would make you tell you a dick joke, let alone talk to you.”
“The Lord works in mysterious ways, I don’t question his messages, I just deliver them.”
“Okay, prophet, the door is over there. Maybe it’s the door to heaven, want to go find out?”
Michael’s face comes back in frame and is very close to the camera, “Do you guys see how he treats me? And after all the dick sucki—”
Jeremy jerks, and Michael scream dramatically. “He kicked me! He’s abusing me! Please call the police for me, he’s gonna take my phone next!”
“Don’t call the police guys, he’s just being dramatic, and is about to leave,” Jeremy glares up at Michael.
“Fine, fine, I’m going. I’m putting my shoes on so you can take me to get the good kush,” Michael says as he walks off camera.
“Kush and Mountain Dew are two different things,” Jeremy calls out as a door is heard shutting.
“Not to me!” Michael’s voice is faint.
Jeremy shakes his head. “Sorry guys, he’s really high and I can only tolerate high Michael for ten minutes max.” Jeremy looks at the screen again, seemingly searching for another question to answer. “Is everything okay with you two? I mean, yeah. I think he’s still mad that I didn’t tell him I was bi earlier.
“He really bribed Michael with Mountain Dew I’m crying, Michael’s the one who’s going to be crying when he finds out I’m not taking him to get Mountain Dew.”
“I FUCKING HEARD THAT!” Michael’s voice is faint.
“GOOD! DRINK THE MOUNTAIN DEW THAT’S ALREADY HERE.” Jeremy shouts back.
“IT DOESN’T TASTE THE SAME YOU TRAITOR! I’M COMING BACK IN—” Michael’s voice got louder and louder until a door is heard opening and Michael walks into frame.
“The amazing Michael Mell, everyone,” Jeremy says in a deadpan voice.
Michael plops back down on his chair, a Mountain Dew can in hand. “The dick jokes are going from a seven to a twenty for that, baby.”
“Too bad no one will get to hear them because I’m ending the stream.”
“First of all, rude. Second of all, you can’t end the stream, we haven’t shown our tattoos yet.”
“Oh shit, I completely forgot about that,” Jeremy says. “Uh, count of three?”
“Hell yeah. On three. One—”
“Two—”
“Three—”
As Jeremy goes to show his left arm, Michael just screams, “JEREMY AND I ARE DATING BYE CHILLERS!” And bolts out of frame and a door is heard shutting.
Jeremy sits there for a moment, mouth wide open in shock. Then he runs a hand down his face and sighs.
“He won’t even remember that tomorrow.” He says, reaching for something out of frame.
This livestream has ended. jerheere has disconnected.