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Lizzie Saltzman had always wanted to be Hope Mikaelson’s friend.
She had tried when she was 5, with butterfly stickers and glitter.
She had tried when she was 9, with offers to play outside with her and Josie.
She had tried again when she was 13, with invites to sit with her at lunch.
By 14, she regretted every single attempt to get through to Hope Mikaelson.
It had started with the fire.
And ended with Josie telling her what Hope had done, and what Hope had said about her.
Maybe that was her first heartbreak.
Lizzie decided she never wanted to feel like that again.
So from that point on, she hated Hope Mikaelson. Loathed how she was always so closed off, how she thought she was better than everyone, how she had nothing more to her layers than a go-to sympathy card. Lizzie imbedded every single thought into her mind like second nature, of how her father seemed to gravitate more to her than to his own daughters.
So when Josie finally admitted that the rumours Hope had spread about her had never left the girl’s lips, Lizzie felt her Hope repellent walls begin to shatter.
She couldn’t look at her sister, didn’t want to, for a moment. She was too busy dealing with her internal crisis.
Hope had never said those things about her.
Lizzie had said so many things about Hope.
Everything she thought she knew about the girl was just a figmentation of what she wanted to believe about the girl. Needed to believe about the girl.
So she did what she did best; and ran away from whatever she was feeling.
Regardless of what Josie had done, she was right. Lizzie did often tend to go after people Josie had shown interest in, and she couldn’t blame her sister from trying to keep Hope to herself.
She couldn’t blame her for wanting to keep Hope to herself.
She couldn’t blame her for wanting Hope.
But what she could do, was blame herself for thinking that maybe she and Hope could be friends now.
Because they were friends now. They baked a pie together. Or more, Hope baked and Lizzie watched.
The problem was that she didn’t know how long they would stay friends.
Because Josie was right, who wouldn’t fall for Hope Mikaelson.
And given Penelope Park’s recent departure and Josie’s recurring heartbreak, the last thing Josie needed was for her twin to go after her crush.
No matter how much Lizzie wanted to.
No matter how much it hurt her to see the smile plastered across Hope’s face when Josie admitted the truth. How the two of them managed to have a silent conversation with their eyes, isolating Lizzie.
But that didn’t matter
Because Josie wanted Hope. As soon as she was done grieving about Penelope, she’d run to Hope, and she would be there with open arms and an open heart.
Lizzie felt a tug in her chest.
It’s a month after Miss Mystic Falls when Lizzie hears a knock on the door to the twins room.
“Come in,” she said, as she flipped through the pages of one of Josie’s books. This one was titled Heartburn.The universe had funny ways of catching you right handed.
“Lizzie?” came Hope Mikaelson’s voice, followed by the light creak of the door as it opened and closed.
She immediately found herself sitting up, adjusting the hem of her shirt and crossing her legs on the bed.
Clearing her throat, she says, “Hey.”
Her voice was hollow.
Hope smiles. And god Lizzie hated how pretty her smile was, how it immediately made her feel grateful she was sitting because of the weakness that shot through her knees.
“Hi.”
“To what do i owe the pleasure, Mikaelson?”
Lizzie watches as Hope’s feet shift from side to side, crossing her arms over her chest. “I broke up with Landon.”
Ah, that was unexpected.
Especially considering the amount of incoherent thoughts that spread in and out of her brain at an alarming rate. “Really, you don’t say?”
Get it together, Lizzie.
“I mean what? Why? Are you okay? Do you wanna... do you wanna talk about it?”
If Hope was about to lay down her doctrine of love towards the mop-headed boy for Lizzie to lay witness to, then she really didn’t want to hear it.
“Actually, we broke up a month ago. I’m just,” she takes a deep breath, not meeting Lizzie’s eyes. “I’m just telling you now.”
A thousand thoughts run through Lizzie’s mind, but she settles for a safe response.
“You do realise that’s an infringement of the best friend code, right? You’re clearly not putting as much effort into this as i am.”
She can’t help but feel irritated by the fact that Hope still won’t meet her eyes.
Look at me, damn it.
After what feels like a lifetime, their eyes finally meet, blue eyes inking into one another, conveying far too much for Lizzie’s heart to keep up. The sound of it was constantly thumping in her ears, drowning out the hesitant breaths Hope kept taking.
“Did you know that,” she pauses. “Do you know that Josie left for Belgium.”
“I- wait, she what?”
“She left for the airport two hours ago, i wasn’t supposed to know either. But i was looking around for her, and MG kinda just let it all out.”
Everything regarding Josie and Belgium and what that meant was put on hold.
“You were looking for Josie?”
Hope shifts her head to one side as she comes to sit on the bed, opposite Lizzie.
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
Lizzie’s eyes fall back to the book in her hand, aimlessly fiddling with the page.
“Don’t do that, you’ll tear it.”
“I really don’t care right now, Hope.”
And maybe she didn’t give Hope enough credit how being smart and intuitive, because the girl could pick up on how people felt, regardless of how little time she spent with them.
“Lizzie, you know that Josie is madly in love with Penelope, right?”
“Unfortunately, i’m aware. But just wait until Josie comes back from her trip, heartbroken, she’ll need yo-“ she stops herself, feeling the need to lift her walls back up.
The page of the book she had been reading was torn from the left corner, a large gash cutting the words “endorphins” and “can’t”.
“Look Hope, just go.”
She doesn’t move.
“Did you not hear me?” her heart is beating twice as faster then before, and she can’t tell if it’s because of her fuming rage or due to anticipation.
“You try so heard to victimise Josie.”
“What?”
“You two, are so dysfunctional. Recently, she’s been villainising you after years of her putting you on a pedestal, and you’re constantly victimising her because you think you don’t have the right to come between what she wants. But you don’t know what she wants. What she wants is on the other side of the world right now, doing god knows what.”
Lizzie was fuming, “Does your manifesto have a point?”
“What do you want, Lizzie?”
Hope Mikaelson really thought she’d fall for her game.
“For you to leave.”
She felt her breath hitch as Hope shifted closer, shaking her head. “I don’t think that’s what you want, I think that’s far from what you want.”
She pauses for a moment, taking in the sight of Hope Mikaelson giving her that look, perched on her bed, the little specks in her eyes glistening as they reflected against the bare light of her lamp.
The next words she said tugged at her heart.
“Hope... please just, please just leave.”
The other girl stares at her, clearly not convinced. “You’re very unconvincing.”
“Please.”
Hope bites her lip in thought, the specks in her eyes disappearing as she stood and made her way towards the door, closing it ever so softly as she left.
Lizzie felt her heart completely shatter as the light click of the latch rang in her ears for the rest of the night.
——————
Lizzie and Hope don’t talk after that.
Two weeks later, Josie returns from Belgium.
“Well?” Lizzie asks her.
“Well what?” asks her twin.
“What did satan do to hurt you this time.”
“She was trying to save us Lizzie.”
The next few hours consists of Josie recapping her trip, how she had decided to go after their mother had mentioned that she was in Belgium. Josie, on a mission, decided to steal their father’s credit card and surprise their mother, only to be met at the apartment door by her ex-girlfriend.
“She’s coming back to Salvatore after she works things out with her parents.”
Lizzie, still trying to process everything, asks her the only question she can mentally form.
“Do you still love her?”
“Of course I do. She’s all I want.”
“Does she know?”
Josie smiles, her eyes distant. “She knows.”
She stares at her sister, long and hard, blue eyes searching hers for any sign of skepticism, doubt, maybe even grief.
Nothing.
It’s not like it mattered, anyway. Hope Mikaelson was nothing but a pipe dream now.
———————
The next day, Lizzie breaks down.
Maybe it’s because of the sudden realisation that the merge exists is slowly taking its toll on her.
Maybe it was because Penelope was set to return, Caroline in tow.
Or maybe it was because of Hope Mikaelson, and how awful it felt to not have been around her for so long. How stupid she was for desperately digging for reasons that Hope shouldn’t be with her, why she couldn’t be with Hope. What she avoided became her biggest regret, and she can’t help but scream as she hastily sits on the floor bedroom floor.
And the fact that Hope was suddenly entering her room, placing her hands on her shoulders and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, was very much worsening the situation.
She can’t help but lean into the touch when Hope places both her hands on her cheeks as she sits her down.
“Hey hey, calm down. It’s okay, i’m here.”
Lizzie just nods. Because that’s all she wanted.
A few minutes pass before Hope asks.
“Do you want anything? Water? Food? Do you want to go out into the woods?”
Lizzie responds by pushing her lips ever so slightly against Hope’s, immediately pulling back at the realisation of what she had just done.
She can’t help but sigh a breath of relief when they kiss again, Hope kissing her this time, no intention of holding back.
It’s fast. Everything is clouded. She realises then just how long she’s wanted this. Wanted Hope.
She smirks at the thought of Hope feeling the same way, for just as long, considering how eagerly the girl moves to her neck, barely taking time to breathe.
The other girl stops suddenly, keeping her head in the crevice of Lizzie’s neck.
“Sorry,” she whispers against her skin, sending shivers down Lizzie’s spine. “Got a little excited.”
“I don’t mind.” she’s surprised to hear herself say it.
Hope pulls back to stare.
Hope has really pretty eyes.
The red heads’ smug smile tells Lizzie she had said that out loud.
“Yeah?” she asks.
“Don’t let it get to your head, Mikaelson.”
“Lizzie Saltzman just kissed me, how am i not supposed to let this get to my head?”
She laughs, loudly, as she strokes Hope’s cheek and pulls her in for a chaste kiss.
And then another.
And another.
“That day,” Hope starts, “I was looking for Josie to talk about you. I wanted to tell her that I had feelings for you.”
“Why?”
“Why did i want to tell Josie? Because-“
“No, why...” she stops, double checking if being this vulnerable is a good idea. She takes one look at Hope’s expression, and decides that it is.
“Why do you want me? After everything I’ve done to you.”
Hope doesn’t hesitate to respond.
“It’s not like i’ve been a saint either, there was a wedge put up between us. A wedge that has been up for way too long. Which is why dancing around each other, not telling you how i feel, this has to end. Lizzie, you need to understand that i care about you, so much. And the fact that you have to ask me why, is leaving me extremely dumbstruck. Because you’re you. Because i want you, and no one else. And i don’t care that Josie called dibs on me when you were children. I mean using that as a stopgap for your feelings is just genuinely stupid and-“
“Do you normally fight this hard to get things you want?” she can’t help but ask, humour lacing her voice. She needs to be witty, nothing else is going to distract her from the fact that the way Hope is saying things, and what she’s saying is threatening to make her heart burst out of her chest.
She just about loses it when Hope’s blunt nails stroke the quivering skin underneath her chin.
“Only when they’re Lizzie Saltzman.”
“You talk about me like i’m some object.”
“Sorry, my head is sort of spinning. You’re like, really close.”
“We’re not close enough.” Lizzie says as she pulls Hope towards her, making her giggle before their lips meet.
Hope Mikaelson is probably the only person that can make Lizzie Saltzman giggle.
Lizzie Saltzman is totally okay with that, no matter how much it adds to Hope Mikaelson’s ego.
————
The next few weeks go by in complete and utter bliss.
They are filled with Hope and Lizzie skipping class to stay in bed all day to gaze into each other’s eyes.
They are filled with days when they did decided to go to class, and the two of them spending a good ten minutes trying to say goodbye to each other, even if it was just for a few hours.
There are days when their hands would be interlocked, fingers threaded into fingers, skin against skin, and Lizzie would loose herself in picturing their intertwined hands in a museum somewhere. Hope would bring her back to reality with kisses all over her face.
There was the day Hope asked Lizzie to be her girlfriend, attempting at a grand gesture with flowers and slow dancing in her bedroom.
There was the day they told Josie, which lead to Penelope handing Josie a five dollar bill.
The day Alaric caught them making out in one of the janitors’ closets lead to uncomfortable conversations about keeping hormones at bay, but Lizzie expected no less when her father shed a tear of joy at the prospect that his favourite protege was dating his daughter.
It was on that same day that she told Hope about her insecurities toward her relationship with her father, and how Hope played into it. It started with Hope offering to train with Alaric less, go on missions with him less, but ended with Lizzie promising to talk to her father, her sister in tow.
But that could be done another day.
What mattered was the girl whose lap her head laid in, the stroke of her fingers through her hair sending jolts to her heart.
“Hope,” she says as she looks up into light blue eyes.
“Yeah?” she turns another page of her book, her other still preoccupied with showing Lizzie’s scalp the time of day.
She sits up, and stares directly at Hope, her hand reaching to intertwine their fingers together.
She finds her eyes drift around Hope’s form, to the crevice of her neck all the way to the heels of her crossed feet.
“I don’t know,” she declares finally.
“Okay,” Hope laughs.
Lizzie perches her head atop her girlfriend’s lap again, unbeknownst to why she was sighing.
“I love you too, by the way.”