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Castiel sat there in the dark. It was long after the Winchesters went to bed. He had already made his rounds; turning off unnecessary lights, checking late night news, checking on Dean… he was more fitful than normal tonight, damn nightmares.
Now he just sat, letting his mind wander. He thought about the creation of humanity, that first fish to crawl on land, Lucifer's fall and anything else in between. All of that has happened over millions of years, but in ten he had fell for humanity, rebelled against his brothers and sisters and changed the script of everything. If you told him his life would take such a sharp turn in a blink of an eye he would not have believed it.
Suddenly the lights turned on, and in the doorway stood one sleep rumpled Dean. He didn't seem a bit surprised.
"Hey, Cas." He said as he stepped into the kitchen.
"Hello Dean."
"What are you doing sitting in the dark?" He opened the fridge, grabbing bread and jelly.
"Just thinking." Cas looked down at his entwined fingers. When Dean was done making his sandwich he sat across from Cas.
"What about?"
"Everything." They locked eyes for a moment before Cas rested his head in his palm. "What about you, why are you up at, what time is it?"
"It's around two in the morning." Dean shrugged. "I'm just getting a midnight snack."
"Mmhm." Cas hummed, Dean fidgeted.
"Ok, I may be having trouble sleeping."
"Anything I can help with?" At that Cas saw him turn a rosy color, how cute.
"I- I doubt it." Dean rubbed his neck, PB&J abandoned. "It's just… after the last time you died things haven't been easy for me."
Cas knows vaguely of what happened when he gone, between what Jack and Sam has told him and Dean's need to bury whatever he's feeling. He sat and listened, not wanting to disturb what was letting Dean open up now.
"I couldn't deal with it, it felt like I lost myself when you were gone. And I won't- I can't lose you again."
"Dean, hey." Under the table Cas rubbed his foot against Dean ankle. He looked at Cas, his eyes were watery and so, so green. "I am not going anywhere."
"How do I know that?"
Over the table Cas took Dean's hand. "I promise."
Dean looked down at their hands then back at Cas, then down at his lips and up again. He looked like he wanted to do something more but was unsure. "'Shouldn't make promises you can't keep."
"Maybe not, but we can try." Reluctantly Cas let go of Dean's hand, letting him finish his sandwich before he headed back to bed. At the kitchen doorway he hesitated.
"Hey, Cas?"
"Yes?"
"Could you maybe stay with me tonight?"
"Of course."