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It was over. The dead were finally gone. The Night King defeated.
They were feasting in the hall but Jon couldn't find it in himself to stay. Tormund was about to make him drink a horn of fermented goat's milk. That wasn't his idea of fun or celebration.
He noticed that Daenerys had quietly left the table after they had drunk a toast to her. She had barely touched her food. Even her wineglass was still full. He doubted that she even took a sip, only raising it in solidarity with the others during the toast.
He wondered if she was alright.
As Jon walked the stone hallways of his home, he felt strangely hollow. For most of his life, the Night King and his army were the constant threat that plagued his mind. It was his prime motivation in all of his actions. Protecting the living, being the shield that guards the realms of men. Now, it was all over. What was left for him now?
His secret heritage? The fact that he was not just half a Stark, but a Targaryen too? He cursed at himself for having told Daenerys before the Night King could attack. He should have waited. He should have kept silent. He barely had time to process it all himself.
Ned Stark had lied to him all these years. To protect him, yes. But it also felt as if he no longer had any idea who he was.
Who am I?
He finally came to her door. He knocked on it twice. Silence.
Jon swallowed hard. It reminded him of the first time he had knocked on her door. They were sailing for White Harbour and he had finally had the courage to show her how he really felt about her.
Those were good days. A small moment of reprieve where they could forget the world, forget the wars they were fighting, forget who they were as they lay tangled up in each other underneath linen sheets.
He missed those moments. It seemed they barely had any time to properly speak to each other since they arrived at Winterfell. His sisters did not make the situation any easier, either.
Jon knocked once more.
"Come in." He heard a soft voice whisper.
As he opened the door, he found his Queen standing by the fireplace, her back towards him. Her silver hair was still in her long braids and she had changed out of her formal gown and slipped into a black robe.
"Your Grace." He said as he entered.
She didn't turn.
Jon shut the door behind him. He wondered if she was still angry with him. Or perhaps she was still in mourning for Ser Jorah.
"I didn't know Ser Jorah well." Jon started, "But I know this. If he could have chosen a way to die, it would have been protecting you."
"Ser Jorah loved me." Came here quiet answer, "But I couldn't love him back. Not in the way he wanted."
Then she turned, her lilac eyes meeting his dark grey ones, "Not in the way I love you."
Jon approached her but stopped a few paces behind her.
"Does it bother you?" She asked, her eyes sad and forlorn.
"What does?"
"Being my brother's son. Is that something that would keep you from me?" Her voice shook with unshed tears.
Jon walked closer to her and encircled his arms around her waist, leaning his head against hers, his mouth to her ear, "No. I never knew Rhaegar. Ned Stark will always be my one true father. Although I still don't know how to feel about him keeping this secret from me. For what it's worth, I'm happy that in some way you know that you're not alone. Like I told you before, your family hasn't seen it's end. I'm here."
Dany placed her hands over his as she leaned back against him. They stood that way for a moment, resting in the silence of each other's company.
"Have you ever seen it? The Iron Throne?"
"I've only been to King's Landing once, but I never saw the Iron Throne with my own eyes." He answered.
Dany hummed under her breath.
"When I was a little girl, my brother Viserys told me that the Iron Throne was forged out of a thousand swords that Aegon the Conqueror took from his fallen enemies. Do you know what a throne made out of a thousand swords looks like?"
Jon shook his head slowly.
Dany smiled wistfully, "Neither did I. After all, what do a thousand swords look like in the mind of a little girl who couldn't even count to twenty?"
She turned in his arms to look up at him, "I always imagined it would be a mountain of swords too high for a three year old girl to climb."
Jon brought a hand to her face, looking at her with an ache in his heart, "If the Iron Throne is what you want. You can have it. You know I don't want it."
The light of the fireplace shimmered in her eyes, "I know that if people found out who you really are, they would conspire behind my back to put you on the Iron Throne. Your claim is better than mine, you know this more than I do. You can sire proper heirs that would follow after you-"
"Stop it. What would you have me do, Dany? Tell me, command me and I'll obey." Jon urged, resting his forehead on hers.
Dany sighed as she moved away from him. Walking a few steps until she could put her hand atop the back of the chair by the hearth.
"I could ask you to never speak of it to anyone forevermore. To swear your brother and Samwell Tarly to secrecy." Dany said, a tear falling down her cheek, "But that wouldn't be true to your nature. You're too good. I can see it better than most. People love you on this side of the sea. I know because I've seen the way they look at you and no one looks at me that way here. I have no love here. They only fear me."
"They fear you because they don't know you like I do." Jon said, drawing near to her once more, "If you give them a chance, they will come to love you like I love you."
Dany sadly shook her head, "Oh, Jon. Don't be naive. Your sisters will never accept me as their Queen. When Tyrion and Varys find out who you are, they will find a way to cast me aside and tear us apart."
"I won't let them. I can't." Jon said as he grabbed her by the waist and held her firmly to him.
Dany caressed his face gently, "Do you know what I told Sansa a few days ago when I was alone with her? I told her that all my life, the Iron Throne has been my one goal. To take it back and destroy those who took it from me, those who destroyed my family and yours. But then, I met you."
A few more tears fell from her eyes and Jon wanted nothing more than to hold her close as he brought a hand to her hair, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder.
"But what I told Sansa, that wasn't the truth, not really." Dany continued, "All I I really wanted my whole life was to go home. To be somewhere safe, surrounded by the people I love. More than anything, I thought that if I took the Seven Kingdoms, I'd find home."
Jon shut his eyes as he tightened his hold around her, wishing he knew how to take away her pain.
"There was also a time when I thought that if I couldn't bring children into the world, I would try to build a better world for other children instead. A good one, where people are free to choose and live whatever way they wish."
"You can still do that. We can do that, together." Jon urged as he pulled back and held her face in his hands so that he could look into her beautiful eyes wet with tears.
She smiled against his palm, "You know what I love about you the most? Is that you always know what is good, what is just... what is right."
"No, I don't." He tried to argue.
"Yes you do.You always have. Perhaps that is why you would not only be a good King,"
Dany placed her hand over his and brought it to rest on her stomach, "You would also be a good father."
His eyes widened, unsure if he had heard her right as he stared at her abdomen before looking up at her, "I thought--"
"I know." Dany said with more tears in her eyes as she smiled, "I thought it was impossible too. But you were right all along."
Jon didn't have the words. He couldn't think straight. The emotions that stirred up inside of him overwhelmed him beyond reason.
He instinctively reached for her, his lips finding hers. He could taste the salt of her tears as he kissed her deeply. His hands buried in her silver hair,
He pulled back just enough to laugh with joy and relief, tears brimming in his own eyes.
I'm going to be a father...
With those words, everything for him changed. Jon immediately knew what he wanted to do.
"When we take back King's Landing from Cersei, I want you to burn the Iron Throne to the ground." He stated.
A puzzled look came over Dany's face, "What are you talking about?"
"You're right. One way or another, someone is going to find out about who I really am. If Sam and Bran know, it is only a matter of time before my sisters know too. Secrets like this don't tend to stay hidden for long once they're out in the open. Then the secrets will take on a life of its own and there is nothing you or I can do to stop it. I can tell them I don't want the throne a thousand times but they won't hear of it. I can bend my knee to you over and over again but they won't let me."
His gaze was fierce and stern, "Once the Throne is yours, destroy it."
Dany's tears glistened on her cheek, "It's my destiny to take that throne. It's the only thing my family... our family has left."
"That isn't true," Jon countered, "Your destiny is to break the wheel that crushes people great and small. You are the Mother of Dragons. But you are also the mother of our child. Our family isn't bound to the Iron Throne. We can go anywhere we want to and still be a family."
"What about your brother? Your sisters? What about your people? Can you leave them behind after everything that's happened?" She asked.
"The Night King is gone, Arya saw to that. There aren't any more threats that I need to protect them from. They will always be my family wherever I go. But you, you are my family too."
He kissed her once again before saying, "I love you, Dany. I love you more than anything in this world. Nothing will ever change that and no one can wrest me from your side."
Then he knelt in front of her, pressing his lips on her stomach before looking up at her, "We will never be safe here. Aren't you tired of fighting? Of living with the fear that at any time everything we've worked for could be taken from us? No matter how many armies or dragons we may have, power will always be something people are willing to kill, betray or die for. Don't you want something more than that?"
"But the Iron Throne--"
"Is just a chair. It's a chair that built the wheel that you've wanted to break since you learned there was a wheel to be broken. I'm talking about going somewhere where no one can find us, where we can choose to live however we want and build that world that you've always longed to see."
Dany felt her breath catch in her throat as she looked down at him.
Jon took Dany's hands into his, "Come with me. Be with me. This is our reason. The only reason why we've been brought together since the beginning. We can live a thousand years somewhere where our little boys can grow up without a bastard's name and where our little girls can learn to count to twenty."
"Is that really possible?" she asked.
Jon gave her a gentle smile, "It's not easy to see something that's never been done before. You thought it was impossible for you to have children. I thought I was nothing more than a high-born lord's bastard son. Look at us now."
Dany sighed as she knelt down in front of Jon, "Promise me then. That whatever we do, wherever we go, we will always be together."
"Yes. Together. Now and always."
He captured her lips in his as he pulled her to his chest.
Now Jon finally understood what his purpose in life truly was. It wasn't just to fight death... it was to live, to love, to grow old and spend the rest of his days building a new world together with the one that he found and loved the most.