Work Text:
Euphoric Transitional Love
The sounds of the Black-billed Magpies sing a love song only they know. The garden of the Hibiscus Syriacus give off a pleasant musky aroma all over the high school’s campus. The horizon’s canvas was painted a shade of azure and streaks of white cirrus clouds. The feeling of warmth from the sun is almost comforting enough to put anyone in a good mood. This would make a perfect setting for a cliché romantic comedy of a Korean Drama.
Too bad these factors were causing more inner turmoil in my head.
Although, the scenery is tranquil and the aesthetics of the campus is pleasing, it’s not enough to help resolve my conflicting emotions. I reached for the transparent doors and stepped into the air-conditioned building. Not bothering to look at the time, I continued to wander aimlessly through the empty halls. The only sounds that were heard through the quiet passageway were my own footsteps.
Just when I was getting use to this atmosphere I heard footsteps echoing from the marbled ground, heading towards my way. Before I was given a chance to react, my guard was down, and I was crushed into a bear hug.
“Get off of me Hyunjin.” I growled at my assailant.
Immediately, he complies and shoves both hands into the school’s black dress-pants uniform.
“Gee hello to you too, Changbin. What’s gotten you all riled up,” He comments sarcastically, grins cheekily, and messes up my jet black bowl cut.
I smacked his hand off of my head, gave him an irritated scowl, and walked off to my next class.
“Hey, wait up man,” shouted Hyunjin. I continued to ignore him even when he finally caught up to me. “Seriously Bin what’s up with you man? Is it about Felix,” he continued to pester me.
I felt my jaw tighten at the mention of his name. I turned to face my friend and clenched onto my fist to prevent me from punching Hyunjin’s face.
“What makes you think it has anything to do with Felix, huh?” The audacity Hyunjin had to let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head as if I did something stupid. I really wanted to punch his face right now.
“Dude, you are in denial. Of course this is about Felix. It’s literally written all over your face.” I shoved both my hands into my yellow dress jacket and looked away. “Wanna talk about it later? We’re already late for class,” I began to walk to class not before saying, “If it will make you shut up, I guess.”
We didn’t spoke another word to each other and we both sprinted across the empty corridors.
Just as we were passing by the metallic gray lockers, I caught sight of the ever so familiar red steel doors that led to the music room.
I shoved the doors open, using what was left of my energy from running halfway across the halls. The doors emitted a thunderous sound that echoed inside of the classroom, causing a few of my classmates to jump a little from their seats.
Professor JYP gave us a look that showed he was not amused and scolded us, "Glad you two decided to show up to class. Consider yourselves lucky that I was going to put a movie on for you all. Now take your seats.”
We didn’t need to be told twice, so we did as we were told. I heard a few giggles from my classmates and rolled my eyes from their childish behavior.
“Yo Changbin, I saved ya a seat,” shouted a familiar voice.
I turned around to see five seats away from me was an auburn-haired angel. Just looking at him made me remember why I was in a foul mood in the first place.
Sometimes, I get annoyed without even knowing. Why are emotions so frustrating to deal with?
Felix signals me to come sit with him and that’s what I did. He turns to face me in favor of ignoring the film and asked, “How ya' goin?”
“I guess I’m good. I just got a lot on my mind.”
When I didn’t met his gaze, his smile turned into a pout, and although I felt bad for worrying Felix he looks absolutely adorable.
“Changbin is there somethin wrong? Talk to me mate.”
I let out a groan of frustration and pleaded, “I don’t want to talk about it. Can we just drop it.”
I turned my back towards him; not wanting to worry him any more than I already did. Suddenly, I felt Felix gently grab onto my hand and looked at me with a genuine look of concern and an unknown emotion hidden away in his chocolate orbs.
“Ya know if ya need any help I’m here for ya.”
I felt my lips twitch and formed a small smile, “I know.”
When he slowly lets go of my hand, I felt the warmth leave my own. I heard him let out a nervous chuckle and added, "That’s right I was wonderin’ if ya wanted to meet up with me to Kim’s Dinah after skewl maybe around 5?”
Wait a minute...is he asking me out on a date? Probably not, I’m getting way too ahead of myself.
“Hmm...sure I guess so,” I answered.
He lets out a cute smile that can give the sun a run for its money. And don’t even get me started on his freckles. It’s like god painted stars across his cheeks. If only I could squeeze them without looking like a complete weirdo.
The rest of the afternoon went by as a blur. Before I meet up with Felix, I wanted to get out of my school uniform and wear something comfortable.
When I got back home I was greeted by my mom and I went upstairs to my bedroom. Opening the door I was not expecting Hyunjin to be in my room playing with Gyu the Munchlax.
“What are you doing in my room,” I demanded.
He gives me a, ‘you can’t be serious, look’ and replied, "Your mom let me in. Besides, I’m here to help you woo Felix. Knowing you, you’re most likely going to wear some random t-shirt and black skinny jeans.”
I let out a low growl. I hate to admit it but he’s right.
“Why do I have to woo Felix. It’s not like he likes me that way,” I cried out.
Hyunjin sets Gyu back on my bed, brushes his black locks in frustration and muttered, "God you two are hopeless.”
He quickly gets up and grumbles under his breath, "Step aside. You’ll thank me later for this.”
He pushes me to sit on my twin sized bed and I watch him look through my closet and toss my clothes right at me.
Hyunjin holds onto a white t-shirt and mumbled, “Too plain.” He also gets his hands on my leopard print polo shirt and stares with a look of disgust.
He throws it into the trash can and nitpicked, “Oh my god. Changbin you have no taste in clothing.”
As much as I was offended about what he commented on my taste in clothing I felt it was not worth fighting with him. He’s not going to listen to me anyways, so why bother. He turns towards me and said, "Well I found some clothes that are not as bad as the rest of your wardrobe. Now get dressed, loser. You got a date with an aussie.” Hyunjin hands me the clothes he picked out for me, pushes me to my bathroom, and closes it.
When I was deemed ready and presentable by my annoying friend, I stepped out of my house dressed in a black turtleneck shirt, red and black flannel shirt, a blue jean jacket, black skinny jeans, and white tennis shoes.
The walk to Kim’s Diner was only fifteen minutes from my house. I arrived five minutes earlier from the time we both agreed to meet up. I pushed open the door to hear the sounds of the bells, announcing my arrival. Inside of the diner I was greeted with blue and pink neon lights, checkered flooring, and red booths. The 80’s aesthetics was very retro.
I scanned the entire room until I caught sight of familiar fiery locks. Felix looked up from his phone and beckoned me to come sit with him. Once I walked towards the back of the room, I sat right in front of Felix. I was surprised to see he was dressed in a denim jacket, a red plaid flannel shirt, dark blue skinny jeans, and black converse high.
I have a feeling that Hyunjin picked out my outfit on purpose. We’re both dressed in matching couple outfits. I should have known better than to trust that idiot. Just wait until I get my hands on him. Felix snapped me out of my thoughts when he greeted me, “Hey Changbinnie! It’s good to see you again. I didn’t think you’d be here early.”
I scratched at the back of my neck, squirmed a little in the booth from the nerves of sitting close to Felix, and stammered, “W-well y-yeah. It’s a few blocks away from my house. Don’t get the wrong idea...I just didn’t want to be late.”
Felix lets out a cheeky grin and joked, “Admit it Changbinnie you like me.”
I felt my face reddened and huffed, "Pft...as if.”
For a moment I could have sworn that through Felix’s smile I could tell from the looks of his eyes he was upset. I wonder why he’s looking at me like that. Before I got a chance to question Felix a voice appeared abruptly.
“Welcome to Kim’s Dinah, how can I help ya?”
Felix and I look to see who was interrupting us in the middle of our conversation. When we faced the speaker, we immediately recognize the guy. Here standing before us was Chan. He was dressed in a white dress shirt, decorated with a red bow tie, black dress pants, black leather shoes, and a red apron with his name tag attach to it.
“Chan bro? Wha ya' doin here,” inquired Felix.
Chan lets out a grin and replies, "Isn’t it obvious? I work here little bro. Well enough about me have ya decided what ya wanted to drink?”
Felix ordered a strawberry milkshake while I ordered the chocolate milkshake. “Alrighty then I’ll be back with your drinks. Enjoy your date,” shouted Chan. “It’s not a date,” cried out Felix. However, it appeared that Chan didn’t heard Felix when he disappeared through the doors.
Hearing him say that just made me more depressed. We sat there in silence for who knows how long. I was about to say something, when Chan decided this was good time to come back with our drinks on the tray. “We ran out of the ingredients for the chocolate milkshake but I hope ya don’t mind sharin a milkshake,” commented Chan.
Felix and I were both a blushing mess. My god this looks like a date, but Felix said it wasn’t. This entire situation is so confusing. I watch Felix get out of the booth, grab onto Chan’s arm, and said sternly, “We need to talk.” Felix drags Chan out of my hearing range; making it rather difficult to hear their conversation. But from the looks of it Felix appears to be in distress while Chan was trying and failing to console his brother.
I wasn’t sure how long I should be here. Just sitting in this booth and waiting for Felix to come back was raising my nerves at an alarming rate. When I felt that I no longer could sit here any longer, I stepped out of the booth, and walked towards the exit. Felix took note of my sudden urge to leave the diner from the bells and decided to follow after me. Leaving the strawberry milkshake untouched.
“Changbin...Changbin….CHANGBIN,” cried out Felix. I didn’t stop walking and continued to ignore him. But Felix wasn’t having any of it, so he grasp both of my shoulders, and turned me around to face him. “Why did you leave the dinah?”
At first I didn’t want to answer Felix, but just when I was about to tell him off I saw a waterfall of tears left his eyes and his nose was red. I let out a sigh of despair and answered, “What does it matter. You don’t feel anything for me. So, what’s the point?”
He raised an eyebrow and pried, "What is it that ya tryin to say?”
“What I mean is that I don’t know what we are. You give me mixed signals that indicate that we are lovers but at the same time you contradict our relationship of us just being friends.” I felt my eyes water, threaten to shed some tears, and wept, "You know what I don’t need to explain myself. Now if you excuse me I’m going home.”
I started to trudge on the sidewalks when I heard Felix call out to me. I didn’t let that stop me from going home. It was then that I felt a hand turn my body around and I felt a slight pressure on my lips.
There were no words to express how shocked I was. Here I am being kissed by my best friend. I slowly fall into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck since I’m slightly shorter than him. It almost felt like we were kissing for an eternity until we both separated our lips. I felt Felix’s forehead touch my own and we both gazed into each other’s eyes.
“Y-you kissed me,” I hesitated. I saw his lips tug into a warm smile and answered, "It was the only way to tell ya how much I love ya.” I playfully punched Felix arm and we both laughed from how silly we were. “Well now that we got that out of the way wanna come to my house and watch a movie,” I asked
Felix while holding onto his small and adorable hand. “Yeah I’d like that,” chuckled Felix.
We continued to walk hand in hand on our way back to my house. That’s when I reflected on today’s events. Emotions are hella confusing but I wouldn’t have it any either way. Because at this moment I now know what we are.