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He wasn’t blind. He wasn’t dumb or stupid or oblivious, not at all. He’d seen it coming. He’d sensed the distance, how everything was changing. He’d felt how much he was losing, felt it all slip right through his fingers. He’d watched helplessly. It still hit him like a freight train when it ended.
“Dick..I’m not. I can’t. I-”
“I know.”
He’d seen them linger, prolonging every innocent touch. He’d seen the way Wally held on when he’d offered a hand to help her up. He thought back, trying to remember the last time they’d held hands. He couldn’t. Had he known it’d be the last time, he’d have held on tighter, kept their fingers intertwined for longer. He could remember the first time, though. There was no hesitance. He hadn’t thought about it for even a moment before it happened, like it was natural, like it was right. He remembered feeling safe. He’d felt secure. Maybe that was his dumb mistake.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
He could remember the first time they kissed, how it made him feel like flying. Looking back, it made him want to laugh. He’d once thought he’d never fly again. When he’d first soared as Robin, he doubted that thought. When he first kissed Wally, he was sure he’d been wrong. Kissing Wally always felt like flying.
“I get it, Wall. You love her. I want you to be happy, you know that, always.”
“Yeah.”
“..one more for the road?”
“Yeah.”
Their last kiss felt more like drowning.