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It was a Friday night, and Charlie Watson found herself in the scrapyard late at night, the cool air enveloping her like a cold, welcome blanket. She welcomed the cold, allowing the shivers down her spine to create a sense of feeling, and the chattering of her teeth making her feel no more than human. Sometimes that was all she wanted; to feel human. After the last twelve months, it was hard to try and behave normally. Knowing the things out there, her mind permanently stamped with the things she had seen, she just needed that one moment to be human.
She sat atop the highest pile of cars she could find. It felt fresher up here, her lungs able to expand and fill her with a cold, satisfying breath. She had her jacket draped over her shoulders, though her arms remained free of its sleeves. The air tousled her hair a little, but she welcomed it. Despite the chill, she felt clammy. She had come here for a reason, and the words she so wanted to speak clouded her mind and made her hot with nerves.
She bowed her head, heaving a sigh, and murmured into the night.
“Hey Dad,” she whispered. Once she would have felt silly, but there was no one here to make her feel such a way. Not a soul was around, for it was the dead of night, and she felt at peace with the silence. “It’s been a year now, since I said goodbye to him. It’s been so hard, but I’m doing okay. Memo helps a lot, and he does his best to distract me, but some days are so… hard.”
She heaved a breath, struggling to catch it as her chest tightened. “I miss you so much, Dad. Mom doesn’t understand. She thinks I’m being silly, and that I should move on. Maybe I should. But he was there when no one else was, and when he left, I…” she choked, and rubbed her nose dry. “I know that you would understand. I know that I could talk to you about it for hours, that I could cry to you about it, and I… I don’t know what to do.”
She looked up, and the stars twinkled above her. She could almost kid herself into thinking that her dad was watching and listening to her, and it was a hope she clung to so dearly it pained her to the core. “I wish things could have been different. I wish you were still here, with me, so that I could get through this with you. But you’re not here. Sometimes I just feel so alone. Memo, Mom, even the car, just aren’t enough. Am I being selfish?”
The breeze picked up, or so she thought, but of course it was wishful thinking. She knew she was alone out here, but she smiled nonetheless. Maybe here, in this life, she was alone sometimes. But she need that somewhere, her dad was watching out for her and listening to her, and it was a hope she would cling on to for the rest of her days.
“When Bumblebee was here, I wondered what on earth you would think of me. Your daughter, running around with this alien robot fighting other alien robots. It sounds so stupid! But honestly, dad? Those few days, no matter how short, were some of the best days of my life. I would give anything to go back to them and relive them. I’d give even more to have you there with me, because no matter how crazy it all seemed, I know you would be so proud.”
“Mom tells me she’s proud of me, and I believe her, but she isn’t the proud that you would have been.” She laughed to herself, wiping away a stray tear. “You would have screamed to the world how proud you were, to the point of embarrassing me like you did at my training sessions. And I would have loved it. I know that, and it helps me keep going…” she trailed off a moment, and suddenly she felt the ache in her chest shake her entire body. “But you’re not here, and I miss you so much. Why did you leave me, Dad? I don’t care if I sound selfish – why did you leave me?!” she screamed into the night, letting her sobs rock through her, making it hard to breathe.
In that moment her grief consumed her, and her face dropped into her hands and she sobbed like a child. It never got easier. Everyone told her that things would get better, and that each passing day would become more bearable, but it only felt like she was falling into a deeper pit of despair. And in that thought, she missed Bumblebee even more.
He had lost his voice, a little (or not so little to human eyes) robot that was lost and alone without a voice to ask for help. That was why she felt a connection. He wouldn’t, or couldn’t, tell her that things would get better. He could only listen and offer gestures of comfort. And she knew he listened. His blue eyes, no matter how metallic, shone with an understanding she had never seen before. So she could express her grief, knowing that she was being listened to, and in return she could provide him with a voice unique only to him.
“I wish you were both here,” she whispered into the darkness. “I wish I didn’t feel so alone.”
In that moment, she heard a sound that had her leaping to her feet. She aggressively rubbed away her tears with her palms, sniffling away the grief as her eyes searched the darkness below. Her grief subsided, replaced with anxiety. Her heart beat heavily against her chest, drumming in her ears and demanding her full attention. She listened, holding her breath, scanning the shadows of cars and metal junk below.
“Who’s there?!” she bellowed, trying to sound as threatening as possible. Only the silence met her demand, and her nerves began to prickle of hairs on the back of her neck. She was high up – a fall would easily break one or both legs. She needed to be alert, but she needed to get down safely. Did she dare? What if she was ambushed the moment she hit the ground? She sucked in a long, anticipating breath, eying the darkness with wary eyes. Maybe it was a rat, or a stray dog…
Blue, not far in the distance. Two blue orbs, tall and almost foreboding. Her breath hitched, and she took an instinctive step away-
Her foot hit air, and suddenly she was falling.
“Charlie-!”
As the air rushed through her ears, her eyes watching the stars get impossibly smaller, her back hit something hard and she screamed. A loud crash, deafening, surrounded her, and suddenly she was on the ground and rolling in the dirt. She gasped when she finally came to a rest on her belly, her face in the dirt, but otherwise she was unharmed. Though her vision was blurred, those two blue lights remained shining, only they were much closer… accompanied by the shocking colour of yellow.
***
Bumblebee felt like panicking. Maybe he was panicking, but he remained rooted to the spot. It wasn’t meant to happen like this. He wasn’t supposed to see her yet. He only wanted to be sure she was okay, that she was safe. He was only supposed to see what she was doing out here alone, make sure she was unharmed, and then leave unseen and unheard. But when she began to speak, but couldn’t just walk away. Instead he had listened to her grief, disguised as the car she had called a Camaro, tucked away and out of sight. He couldn’t stop listening. All he had wanted to do was tell her that she wasn’t alone and that she was not forgotten. He wanted to comfort her like her had all that time ago.
But she didn’t know he had his voice back. He worried that she would look at him differently, and not as the friend she had known back then. Perhaps he was being ridiculous, but the thought of her turning her back on him hurt him more than words could describe. But he’d been clumsy and, as usual, made a loud noise that caught her attention. He had intended to approach her carefully, to ease her back into the idea of him returning, but she had been startled anyway, and she fell from her vantage point, a little taller than he was.
He had to act, so he ran and he grabbed her. When he lunged and hit the ground, he let her go. She rolled, and before he knew it, their eyes met.
Something tugged at him, just staring into her eyes. It didn’t feel real. This very moment felt like a dream, a cruel, nasty dream, but he just couldn’t look away. Slowly, very slowly, he rose to his knees, watching her very carefully. He refused to speak, not yet.
“B… B… Bumblebee? Is it… really you?” she whispered as she too rose to her knees, mimicking him. It was like music to his ears when she said the name she had given him. He couldn’t speak yet, not yet, so he simply nodded. She stared back, her breath hitched, and the confusion was clear on her face. “Am I… dreaming? This has to be a dream.”
He thought about shaking his head, but he thought better of it. It was no or never. “Hello, Charlie.”
And suddenly she was scurrying back a few feet. He held up his hand, leaning a little closer, hoping to reassure her. “You… you have a voice. Bee didn’t have a voice.”
“My friend… fixed me.” He spoke slowly, allowing her to digest this. “Not that the radio wasn’t appreciated.”
She stared blankly at him, all emotion gone. What was she thinking? He stared back, at a loss, and he hoped his eyes spoke more than a thousand words. He had missed her so much. He had missed her embraces, her humour, her strength. But to see her like this, like she was afraid of him, was something he had hoped he would never see. He leaned forward a little further, reaching out a large hand towards her tiny form. “Say something?”
But she didn’t say anything. Instead she was running at him, and before he knew it she had leapt up and wrapped her arms around his face, clinging to him. And he held her tiny figure, closing his eyes tightly. He knew she was dangling, clinging on so desperately, but he held on to her like he would never let go. He felt himself hum, a happy sound, and he felt her laugh shakily against his cool, metal cheek.
“I thought I’d never see you again, Bee.” She sobbed, and Bumblebee hummed again.
“That would be boring, wouldn’t it?” he replied, making his voice low, so it wasn’t too loud in her ear.
Finally she tried to pull away, and he gently placed one hand beneath her feet, the other against her back. And she was grinning. She was grinning and crying, but it was a joy to know that she was smiling because of him. Hearing her so pained before had been difficult to swallow, but now it was like she was a bright new light, full of joy she so desperately deserved.
“I can’t believe you can speak!” she cried happily. “That’s amazing! Who fixed you?”
“Someone… like me.” He felt himself hesitate. Ratchet had spent endless hours on his voice box, cursing loudly, and Bumblebee had felt like a burden. Optimus, of course, had reassured him that he wasn’t, and that he worth all the time and energy to be fixed. At another time, Bumblebee would have warmed to such a compliment from him, but at that time, he simply felt guilty for stripping Charlie’s work into providing him with a voice.
And yet, when he couldn’t finally speak, he had wanted to share it with one of the only humans he had come to fully trust in his time on Earth. She had saved him, protected him, and even brought him back to life, so it only felt natural to want to share this triumph with her. In fact, when Optimus had asked him to speak once again, the first word to fall free was Charlie’s name.
“I’m so happy for you, Bee.” She smiled brightly, and Bumblebee gently placed her back on the ground. She wobbled, so his hand lingered behind her back until she steadied herself. “But why are you here?”
“I wanted to check on you.” He responded with ease, kneeling down before her. She crossed her arms defiantly; she was glaring back at him, and the Autobot couldn’t help but be amused.
“I’m not a child, may I remind you. Do you not remember what happened the last time I saw you?”
“I remember well. I will also ensure that you never get into a situation like that again.” He replied. He remembered watching her on that tower, losing her grip one too many times, her feet dangling as she clung on to dear life. He remembered the dread he felt when Shatter finally caught sight of her, aiming her weapons on her like she was a pest. And he would never forget, after Charlie had deactivated the Decepticon beacon, the threat Shatter had made on her life.
“After I kill you, I kill her!”
For that entire fight, Bumblebee had been distracted. It had frustrated even him. After gaining his memories, remembering his purpose, the life of one friend had affected him so severely that it had nearly cost both of their lives. Yet, when Shatter had said those words, he snapped out of it and a new determination overcame him. No one threatened his friends. He could die, but he would not allow Shatter to take Charlie with him. So he shot the damn, idling defeat, and made Shatter chuckle.
“You missed.” She had drawled, and if he could, Bumblebee would have rolled his eyes like he had seen Charlie do so many times.
I wasn’t aiming for you.
Charlie had no idea how much she meant to him. He had true friends amongst his people, yet none were as caring as his little human friend. She was pure, silly and brave, just like him, and no one would ever understand how much that meant to him. In his world he was small, considered not nearly as powerful as the others, but to Charlie they were equals. That was enough for him, and no one would take that away from him.
A moment of silence passed, and Charlie began to rub the back of her neck, not meeting his eye. He knew she was embarrassed about something, and it confused him. He tilted his own head, trying to read her.
“I guess you heard me earlier…” she began.
“You’re not alone.” He replied without hesitation. “You never have been. Your Dad will be watching you, and he will be proud. I know I am.” He spoke with such confidence that it surprised even him, and watching the surprise, followed by a smile, on Charlie’s face was much too satisfying. He wished she believed in herself more. She was far greater than she gave herself credit, but he knew for sure that her father would be proud. He would never let her convince him otherwise.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes glistening. She looked away again.
“I can’t stay long, Charlie. I wasn’t even meant to let you see me. But, whilst I am here… fancy a drive?” he asked. He wanted to spend just a few more hours with his friend, the human girl who had saved his life. He doubted that Optimus would mind – hell, he wanted to meet her himself one day to offer her his gratitude. But not now. Now, he wanted to feel like he did all that time ago: free and without a care in the world with his best friend.
She grinned deviously at him, and he backed away almost nervously.
“How about a race?” she asked. Before he could respond, she was running, and for a moment Bumblebee thought she had gone mad. But then she jumped into an open-top red car, and began the engine. And then she was driving, and Bumblebee chuckled as he transformed into his camouflage, screeching after her.
***
The sun was beginning to rise on the horizon, and Charlie could not wipe the smile off her face. She had her foot flush against the floor on the accelerator, her hair blowing behind her on a straight road leading to nowhere. Bee was not far behind, his engine roaring as he tried to catch up with her, but she was just that little bit quicker.
For the first time in a long time, she felt free again. Her visit from Bee was exactly what she needed, and when he had told her that her Dad would be proud of her, she believed him. And, as he began to level alongside her, she began to grin. In that moment, she realised he was right. She wasn’t alone. Bumblebee was right there without her, no matter for how little, and she felt that her Dad was with her, too. Her best friend and her father’s car, side by side, reassuring her in a way her own family never could. If she could have it her way, she would drive alongside Bee for as long as time would allow it. But, knowing he would have to leave her again soon, she took bliss in having her best friend beside her once again.
She leaned her head against the headrest, daring to close her eyes on the straight road for a moment, before she opened them again to see Bee overtaking her.
“No chance!” she shouted gleefully, and the 1977 Camaro beeped at her cheerfully. She laughed, lowered the gear, and charged after him.
Happiness would not come easily. The hole her father had left would never be completely filled. But, knowing that Bee would always be watching her, making sure she was safe and happy, she knew that was truly never alone.