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Chapter Text

He should've stayed up long enough to hear her cry that night. He was none the wiser but he had thought everything was dandy and swell. At Least it had been when she confided in him that she wanted a child. Her sweet smile as she sat on his lap looking suggestive. Sure she seemed hesitant when the time for him to finish had come. But they had spent three years-two during their school years- making sure they knew(/performed) the necessary spells to block that.

He hadn't expected it so early; no, not with Lily's career aspirations. She wanted to travel and make her own way before a kid could do it for her. She wanted life and James was sure to give it to her. He stood by her even through his parents' less than pleased looks. If she wanted to wait, he would too! They were young 20-year-olds and needed time to sort their life out, time to decide when to get married and when to give another heir to the bloodline.

But James's mother had other ideas when it came to that. And she wasn't afraid to make her ideas known to Lily. Although they were never directly aimed at her,  Lily knew when she received a jab.

She would receive distasteful looks at any given moment. Most aimed at her appearance, or rather lack of. Like when she had once again shown up to dinner wearing a flowy dress that was tight against her soft, ample stomach. No hardness to her stomach where something should have been enclosed. No added weight to make her sore in her heels or swollen in her ankles and baited in her breath. No, she had shown up once again as Lily Potter and the only thing she carried with her was a purse.

“Lillian.. so nice to see you” Lily knew Mrs Potter didn't mean it. Especially as the night went on and less and less kind words made it her way.

"Oh, we're quite disappointed no one else could join....When do you two love birds plan to give me a grandchild? I won't stay alive forever!" Mrs Potter would say accompanied by a joyous laugh and a joking tone. But as she made eye contact after each statement Lily knew it was more a threat than a joke. 

She often found herself brushing it off and laughing along. Meeting the gaze and smiling because she knew James wouldn't force her, even if  his mother begged him too. They were safe in their own little bubble of understanding. But Lily wasn't as headstrong as she'd like to think. Lily never missed an opportunity to beat herself up anytime someone mentioned something about her being less than desirable. She was gullible and fell victim to her insecurities more often than she didn't. 

So what if she finally gave in to make someone who wasn't even herself happy. She just couldn't stand not being liked! Couldn't stand it when she was called dumb for being muggle-born. She had thought that was why she was being ignored and avoided by other students.  Sure, she had later found that they ignored her because of their own bigoted beliefs, but that didn't stop her. So she aimed for high marks all the school year and made herself known as a member of the slug society.

When Petunia would ignore her and look down upon her Lily  had sent her money for her first house. She had sent tons of gifts for her newborn nephew. She still wrote every Wednesday to inquire on how she'd been doing.

Lily only received one reply that had several nasty words. But it's more than she'd ever had before, so she'd smiled and counted it as a win. Just as she did when Mrs. Potter jumped from her seat to greet her. When she offered her tea in the tea room or  a stroll through the gardens. Lily counted the new kindness as a necessary step to take towards a better environment. She was as happy as ever whenever they were invited to dinner. Lily was happy spending lunches deciding on color schemes, middle names, bed sheets, birth options and finances. She was even happy revisiting the topics when someone had shot her ideas down. Yes, she was happier now as she stroked an onesie on Sale in a muggle shop.

She hardly noticed through her haze as an employee made his way up to her and asked “do you need help ma'am?”

Startled she answered “No i-”

------

“-never wanted a child James!” she screamed as the tears ran down her cheeks. They stood in the living room only a coffee table between them as they went at it. They were having dinner when deciding on what show to watch turned into fuck you’s. It was so sudden that James didn't know whether or not it was because he suggested a action movie.

“ It's not my fault you let her pressure you, lily! You didn't even tell me she was doing this!"

"Of course I didn't want to paint your perfect mother in a bad way" She hissed.

" Then how on earth am I supposed to know what's going on if you don't  bloody tell me!” James said frustrated as he dragged his hand roughly through his hair. His eyes were angry as he gazed at his fiancée.

“you would’ve brushed it off like you do everything else!” Lily accused him screaming. 

“ I never brush you off-”

“You’re trying to brush it off Again! When was the last time you actually gave a damn about my work?”

“We talk about your work everyday Lil’s how can I not give a fuck” James said through clenched teeth.

“ don’t lie! all you say is-” she slouched and jutted her  arms in a masculine way."-uh huh, yeah, that's nice, love you, you know. I'm absolutely fascinated by what you're talking about but the lads are waiting at the bar!”

James clenched his jaw ready to rebute her but lily  started going off on a tangent. “ You only get drunk now with that dog, Remus. You’re at those bars so much, I'm starting to think that maybe it's not only the alcohol that keeps you there at night.” 

She began going off on how left out she felt, how lonely she was waiting at the doctor's office alone. How so much food was wasted as she sat waiting for the fireplace to reveal him. That she felt  he put everything and everyone before her. 

“And don’t get me started on that job of yours” 

“Oh, sod off! I work my arse off; it's not my fault you don’t move your ass. If you want friends go make some no one's stopping you, lily. And God, stop acting as if I'm putting a hold on your career! You probably weren’t gonna get it anyway...not with that stom-” An echo went through the loft as Lily's hand came in contact with his cheek. 

A tear made its way down her cheek as she looked at him. He knew what she'd given up...he knew. Yet he had made it seem as if this was once again her fault. 

James tensed his jaw and flexed his fingers that rested  at his side. “ you're not getting rid of my child, Lily”

It seemed like days watching her stand there broken and in tears. It wasnt until 3 minutes later that She shook her head in agreement as she left to the bedroom. James clenched the remote in his hand before he lashed out and threw it at the opposite wall. The only sound in his world of silence.

-----

Their days filled with it, as no words were spoken. Only the  shuffling of feet and the friction of garments on skin. As weeks passed they started sharing sad smiles and simple nods. Lily opted for going to bed by the time he returned from having bottles with Sirius. She stopped cooking for two when he and Remus went on a practice mission for work. They no longer talked, they didn’t cuddle or touch because Lily knew  he was no longer only hers.

Sometimes she would softly kiss his cheek when she saw the cocky and brilliant James Potter that caught a snitch for her. The James that bought the stupidest of muggle things in order to make her feel at home. The one that declared his undying love to her in front of the great hall. But that image would fade with each kiss.

The last one he got was  5 months later as she stepped through the threshold to gather the last of her bags. It hurt her not to look towards the nursery, but it hurt her more watching James let her go. But James was in no mood to care about how she felt, she had made her decision. 

If it had to be just Harry and him, then so be it. She'd already made her decision. They were the victims here. It was him who had gotten the short end of the stick, he'd had to put a hold on his training to take care of Harry. He had to suffer through managing laundry and feeding the boy. It was he who woke up every.single.night. Sometimes nothing would be wrong but the little brat would still cry. He would screech and wiggle  causing his neighbors to bang angrily at the door. There were bags under his eyes and headaches even hard liquor couldn’t soothe. So was he at fault if one day he simply ignored it all? Just left the house for a drink to return and find the kid cried himself to sleep. It was horrible of him to do so but it gave him more time to get his life back. All he had to do was mutter a Silencio or snatch one of the manor elves. Life was good again for once until his parents had questioned the elf on its absence during his duty.

He remembered Remus scolding him about it once, how he was borderline abusing the kid.  Remus was headstrong on making sure Harry was taken care of. But when he would force himself to hold the child he could only do it for no longer than 4 seconds, that scratchy feeling surrounding him once again. Moony just wasn’t clicking with the boy and would often refuse to enter the loft if Harry was out of his nursery. Harry soon turned into the dog you had to keep in the bathroom when you had a guest. One could laugh at how ironic it was, guarding the beast from the baby.

Sirius wasn’t much different, he often was the one to pull James away. He was James's main reason for bar bathroom quickies. Sirius didn’t and never wanted to understand what it meant to be a father. He was too immature and party wild, the same way he had been for all his years. He was there to be a best friend, to make sure James got laid and had a nice buzz. Sirius also followed his friends' lead, much as Peter had done. Meaning their friends were his, and their enemies were the bain of his existence -including babies. If Remus and James didn’t like the boy, he wouldn't either in their place. 

But then he met Haley, a squib parent who used to live down the hall. She would come and shut the little brat up most times. Most of her time in the loft, however,  was spent in James’s bed. It remained like that for days on end, even months later when she moved to a different residence. He would see her every weekday sometimes on weekends too, if he was feeling bored. The days without her were spent with Harry, some days he would force himself to get up and change the little bugger. Some days he couldn’t be bothered and simply let him cry himself to sleep once more. But as long as Haley was there James knew the child wouldn't die on his hands so he couldn’t care less.

“Get the kid won't you, doll?” James said tucking his prick back into his pants. He was sitting in the living room on the worn couch as he stretched his arms with a yawn.

“sure but I mean it when I say this is the last time,” the cougar said pulling her hair into a ponytail. She was at least benching 47 but she had the body of a 30-year-old footie mom. She was easy and more or less decent in terms of her “second employment”. 

“ Oh come on, it's just a little fun,” James said crawling up to her on the couch. He dipped his hand under the blanket with a smile.  “ just the same fun we have. You can’t blame Sirius for giving in! From what he told me they were practically begging for it”

She looked genuinely affronted as she lifted herself from his advances. “ These are my children you refer to. When I took this shit job I didn't expect your pervert of a friend to finesse my children into bed with him!”

“ Here we go” James sighed annoyed as he rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch. He didn’t think she’d get this pissed about it. Sirius had mentioned it to him before his little rendezvous with her own twins. He didn’t really care however seeing the twins were 18 and able to do whatever the fuck they well pleased. But Haley still found some way to paint that as bad and throw a hissy fit.

“ You know what, kid? Fuck you!” she yelled making her way to the front door.

“ You weren't calling me that when you were on my pr-” he was cut off by the slam or the front door closing. He flinched as he waited a few seconds to hear whether or not it had woken the boy. When 20 seconds  passed he sank into the couch with relief.

Than a choked cry broke out.

James grunted in frustration before getting up and angrily walking to the annoying little shit's room. He didn't even open to check on the boy before he was firing an aggressive Silencio at the hardwood. When the cries instantly drowned out he made his way to the kitchen area where he picked up one the many half-empty alcohol bottles.

He had better things to do.

Chapter Text

James had gone out that night. Yes, it had been  to a bar with Sirius, but he couldn’t make himself enjoy neither the drink, nor even the girl eyeing him. It wasn’t guilt that was stopping him from enjoying his peace; no. It was more or less anger seeing how he had to think about whether or not to take another break from work to care for the annoying little bugger. He had practically pissed on the head Auror's shoes when he had asked for a month off the first time. Now, he couldn’t even imagine what this time would amount up to. 

He couldn’t even ship it off to his parents' house for the rest of his life. They wanted a grandchild, not a son they were forced to interact with several times a week. They wanted a stone that would slow down James's relationships and his rowdiness. But the moment they caught wind of lily’s abandonment they'd lost all hope of that.

However for all they knew the child was healthy and walking on all of its two feet. Something James had been forced to teach him when his mother had demanded some updates. He had a horrible time getting the shit to form small words too. Most of the bastard's vocabulary was made up of the cusses james would speak at him. James was beyond happy it wasn’t time for him to start potty training.

Oh, Fuck was it?

“ Maybe you should go home mate, you're stunting my game.” Sirius sighed as another set of girls had gotten up and left to the "bathroom”. Apparently, brooding guys weren’t as sexy as the media portrayed them to be.

“Yeah, whatever” James sighed throwing down his pound for the night. He made his way out of the club and walked  his way home. 

Maybe he was pissed because the way Haley had left was all too similar to Lily’s. A pissed girl leaving him  to care for a child alone. But then again, Haley was a right slut; he couldn’t compare her to Lily, who had been a friend and a mother to the boy who had once wanted a life with a happy future. 

No matter how angry he was he could never fault her for leaving. That wasn't the case once he'd had a few bottles and thought about how he felt about things such as family and love a little too much. 

“Fuck both of those slags!” he thought as he rounded the stairs to his floor. Stopping dead in his shoes once he caught sight of the person in front of his door.

Sitting with his arms crossed and his back against James's door sat someone James hadn't expected to see, if not ever, at least not so soon. 

"Snivellus Ape" James said before he could stop himself. 

No one had seen the git since he'd left the train station after their fifth year. When sixth rolled around he didn't show up. Most people got over it pretty quickly, he never did leave an impression anywhere he went. Although James remembered being frustrated at not being able to vent his frustration out on someone anymore. 

However, it had been like a miracle, because Lily had actually finally given him a chance. She had believed he had changed his bully ways and grew as a person. James rolled with it, although he knew it was because he had no one left to seriously harass. 

The figure's head jutted up at the sound before its eyes narrowed. He lifted himself graciously off the floor before fixing James with a hard glare. He didn’t seem to acknowledge the comment instead opting to simply ask “Who lives in this loft?”

James eyed him before he crossed his arms and hardened his stare. “Who wants to know?” he replied 

“ take a wild guess” Severus said, rolling his eyes.  

James glared at the tone before walking to his door budging Severus aside in the process. He fished out his keys and went to open the door when he felt a hand grab his elbow. He tensed turning and fixing Severus with a hard glare. 

“ Is your partner in? I’ve been knocking for quite some time… ”  Severus asked, not mentioning Lily’s name. He had heard through Lucius of her stay in France, she had been there on a family vacation. When Lucius had seen the girl he had questioned her on the whereabouts of Potter but she simply denied their involvement. So, naturally, Severus assumed she wouldn't be inside that apartment with the currently screaming child. 

“No, just me.” James bit out harshly. He twisted his key before unlocking the door. 

“Myself” he added as he slid into the loft.

And with a dramatic pause in the end finished "and I" before trying to slam the door in Severus's face. Severus was quick, however, quicker than James had anticipated and shoved a foot at the crook of the door before it had enough time to find purchase and shut. 

Severus, using little strength, shoved the door open and made his way into the apartment, past james. Severus took a quick glance around before quickly progressing further into the loft.

 James called angrily after him about this being an invasion of privacy and his space being broken into before slamming his door and stomping towards Severus.

 Severus was too busy inspecting the bathroom, then James's room and then lastly the door behind which the child seemed to be. 

As soon as Severus opened the door he was greeted with the strong pungent smell of piss. He gazed around the room and was able to identify only a crib as the sole furniture in the room. 

James tripped over his feet as he entered the room ready to force the bastard out of his home. But as soon as Severus turned to look at  him, James saw the familiar gaze lily had given him when she'd confided in him her distaste for the baby.  

“You’ve left this child here alone! Where the hell were you? getting pissed?" the shorter male hissed pushing at Jame's chest. “He’s been crying ever since I got here, oh Salazar I should've just broken in when no one answered the first time.” he cried 

James gazed at him with disinterest before checking his watch and deciding he didn’t have time to watch Severus beat himself up. “ Well, now that you’re here you can either shut him up yourself or get the hell out. I, on the other hand, am going to pass out for the better part of the day” James said pointing back towards the door.

He backed out the room working on taking his shoes and pants off while he made his way to the couch. He staggered a little before making it on his own and flopping down on his stomach. His hand reaching up to turn off the lamp.

Severus, however, quickly changed the child as soon as he felt the moisture leaking through his diaper and on his little crib.

 He gasped in horror at the red angry rashes that littered the child's lower stomach down to the inside of its thighs. He had some on his back and arms as well. Some angry bumps here and there as well. 

Severus pulled back the sweaty blankie before looking at the dirty sheets. He couldn’t chalk this one up to simply not caring for the boy. When he had seen James's bed he seemed like the type to follow the one wash every month-or-so rule. The boy had looked as if he hadn’t properly been cleaned when he did get changed. It looked fed but Severus knew the signs of malnourishment beginning to take place.

He wanted to cry alongside the hiccuping boy but decided against it as he discarded his own jacket before wrapping the boy up. He scavenged the room for a bag before he went around picking up necessities. 

He only took the boy; the diapers and clothes were too small and Severus never trusted formula-much less magic enhanced formula. He'd have to call in for a pickup. If there's one thing Severus hated it was dealing with house elves. 

--------

“Thingol failed master, thingol fail, thingol no-”

“ oh be quiet, it's a simple mistake we’ll make due” Severus sighed before shooing the elf back to his mother's estate in Spain. He rubbed his temples before he gazed down at the pack of makeup powder. True to his word, it wasn’t a problem, Severus would just have to keep using salves. 

He had spent the entirety of the early morning reversing the boy's damage.  He had put healing sleeves practically over the boy's whole body. Most of the rashes had cleared up but some of the bites still persisted and fed him a little protein potion into some lactose milk and water- he had to make do with the fact that he didn’t have breast milk on hand. 

 Then, finally, he changed the boy into more fitting and comfortable clothes. Severus was immensely happy with himself as the child had finally found sleep.  

The boy lay on the couch on new slick and fluffy covers that he had no trouble sticking into. Severus had put up barriers along the couch before taking up residence on the couch across from the boy. In truth, he was supposed to be at his work desk, annoyed and pulling his hair out. But taking care of the poor child was ultimately more filling and less stressful than forcing words from his brain. 

He never really wanted to be a writer but when he and his mother had moved to Spain it had been inevitable. He raved his life down into a booklet and kept doing so religiously. He raved about the marauders about lily about his father. He had twisted and turned through his writing as his pen glided along the paper with ease. He wrote as if it he wasn’t the very boy, the sole existence of which made him weep as he wrote. He had changed his features all the way up to his memories.  

He had become a lone boy in a lonely town, the witch of Salem.  His father the devil and his mother a trapped human used for pleasure. Lily became the priest son's girlfriend,  Abigail, that washed away all signs of witchcraft. She had watched him get stoned, hanged drowned, but she never called out to him. Sooner or later he had lost that booklet, he was glad he did. It caused too many ties to his old self, he would learn to move on and forget. 

At least that was the plan before a man showed up on his doorstep with the booklet clutched in his hand. “ it struck me with a nasty hex when I first tried to open it”  he chuckled before offering a hand. 

The man had continued on about his position, what his title inferred and what  his connections were. He had told Severus of his life and of his colleagues asking for the piece he had written. Finally, he had mentioned his difficulty in tracking down the name that etched the cover. But he persisted that he wanted to meet him, himself. He didn’t believe it at first considering his cliche upbringing but he was quickly signed on to the company after a year.  He had produced that book ‘cool kids’ and then one each year after, all best sellers from Spain to California.

” The outsiders” an American greaser fic that sprouted from his take on the Slytherin and Gryffindor feud.  

Then his famous series of Neville Longbottom savior of the wizarding world. It was too far from reality to strike havoc among the wizarding council. He and Evan - his manager's son- had fun throwing words together and making up false spells. Those spells were often placed on muggle t-shirts sitting in alternative shops. 

By the time Severus turned 20 Everyone who enjoyed books knew the name Elijah Eileenson- everyone who saw the writer knew Severus Snape. But he didn’t mind, he was the one to suggest the name change, in fear of it getting back to London.

 Plus, the government of magical relations had all but forced it to begin with. 

But his success had now put an anchor on his back, forcing him to one-up each time he wrote. He had all but packed up and moved back to Britain to escape his manager's gaze. Evan had laughed at Severus's fear of his father. 

Both Rosier men were handsome but in a devilish sort of way; in Spain muggles believed they drink blood. It stemmed from their ancestors who were there to pillage the early natives and on to them in the modern day.

They were hard cut men who were rough and “scary”.  Mr. Roseir was often the enforcer in his business and enforce he did. He got what he wanted and when he said what that was  you never could get past his defenses ether. He was closed off and only there for money and work, he didn’t enjoy life. Mrs. Roseir didn’t even know her husband's birthday and it was said he got it legally removed. But that didn’t stop her from celebrating it 2 times each year no matter how many divorces he threatened. 

 His son, however, was slightly more feared, you see Evan was a death chaser. He sped while drunk and often stuck his tongue in his lighter flame. He got into fights and into bed with anyone that was down for it. He only entertained people with thick skin and thick blood. If you couldn't live on the edge of death, he didn’t want you. 

Not too many people were down for his need to fake speed off a cliff. He tested them that way and the moment they would yell for him to “stop the damn car” he would unlock their door and tell them to scram. 

He had done it to Severus for fun and succeed without complaint. They had necked in the car after and never revisited that memory. They only got intimate 2 more times after but that was because they were teens. Severus never had those feelings for him unless he wanted fun. But for the better part of their relationship- he was a stick in the mud. So they strictly remained friends who shagged every once in a blue moon. 

He had started to write about the boy but he had never gotten into it. Severus had told Evan as much when he passed him the one and only page to read. Evan had laughed hysterically at the honor and promised to check up on it if he continued on. But seeing the child on his couch Severus didn't even know if he’d ever write again during his stay. 

“The hell you won’t, you are down there to write! ” Mr. Rosier interjected. 

“ or get a break” Severus mumbled. 

Rosier face shifted into anger in the fire before he asked. "what was that?” 

“I'm down here to write, sir, as you said, I shall do so…” Severus said to the approval or the older male. “Buuut-”

“No buts unless they're on paper! You're a smart boy Sev, you really are. You're like a better son to me and my health. That is why I'm going to tell you one more time to get it done!”  the fire flared before it dimmed and Severus was left staring at the fireplace. 

“Fuck” he hissed before turning to begin his breakfast. 

The night threaded on easily and Severus was able to catch 5 hours of sleep before his fireplace roared. He had spent the next 2 hours conversing with his editor and he was quite hungry. 

As the day progressed into noon the child kept sleeping. It may have been because it never got adequate sleep along with the potions and salves fixing up his body. 

Severus didn’t know what he was going to do about that. WCPS was a shit branch that didn’t actually care about children. Much like the muggles CPS they did therapy and send you off somewhere worse than your current situation. 

He much rathered taking care of the child himself, seeing how no one else seemed to want to do it. James had yet to come by as well, he was either sleeping or had packed up and left. 

Severus wouldn’t be surprised if he took this as his chance to leave the poor boy behind. But no matter how bitter his thoughts were on the matter he wasn’t surprised when he got a couple of bangs on his door. Severus hissed, quickly making his way towards the door. As he opened it, he was met with a James who held a paper that had his loft number etched onto it. 

“You truly are a witch, aren’t you? stealing my child in the night… ” James said shoving past Severus and into the apartment. James took in the library that laid before him with distaste,  he could barely stand the one at Hogwarts. He grimaced more seeing his troubles laying on the couch and sleeping soundly. Ha, that was a first. 

“Like hell, I would leave him in that disgusting mess you keep him in” Severus sneered as he spat the words out. 

Severus jumped backward as James faced him, with quick  advances Severus was backed up against a wall “I don’t know where you’re getting this confidence but don’t make me take it from you” James growled 

 Severus narrowed his eyes ready to send the other a sneer before a small whimper broke through the silence. He peeked behind James before sending him one last look then making his way to the child. 

He cooed gently as he kneeled beside the couch stroking the child’s cheek before picking him up. Severus checked under his clothes before bringing the child’s bottom to his nose.  He recoiled as soon as he did quickly turning to his coffee table. He bent to place the boy down on the hardwood while bringing his head down softly against it.

James watched as he bent down to change the boy. James wasn’t the biggest supporter of Snape in his younger days but he rather appreciated his older years. 

The boy had filled into his features and the nose -although still big- fit on his face better. He was still a lanky little thing, still significantly smaller than James himself. He skin tone evened out to a natural color wherever the hell he disappeared too and his hair looked much cleaner.  

James had to admit- he was intrigued. “So what exactly does the great ape do?” He asked

Severus shot him a look before continuing with his mission. "I work from home, I set the criteria on books for schools,” He said nodded towards the stacks around him. It wasn’t a lie right now his stories where benching college level. So in a way, he did set the criteria for books student should read.  Although wide James's eyes were calculating before they returned to their natural state. Severus felt nervous at the hidden accusation of lying but 

paid it no mind. If James thought he knew Severus was lying then what did it matter to him. 

“ so lily walked out, didn’t she?” Severus asked nonchalantly. “I wouldn’t put it past her to leave someone to your abusive hands” Severus had figured it out last night when the child had opened his eyes. Severus was stunted before he resumed his healing, harboring a new heartbreak to the girl Lily used to be. 

“The kid's annoying” 

“Is his name kid, because I’d rather like to call him something different?” Severus asked sarcastically as he cleaned the baby’s bottom.

“It’s Harry or Henry-Take your pick”

“Well, Harry Is certainly quite underfed, under washed and simply undertaken care of,” Severus said tying the new diaper and rising from his knees. He watched on as Harry played in gurgled up at the ceiling. 

“ His babysitter just quit,” the brown-haired male said from his position. 

Severus laughed as he faced him. “He had one?”

“Yes! she was hot,” James said with a smirk that caused Severus to roll his eyes in disgust. 

“Well maybe try to find an experienced one next time, one that isn’t just hot” With that Severus picked up Harry and stood to dispose of or the offending wrapped package. 

James eyed his movements before the nasty smirk came back and he crossed his arms. “ 700 gallons a week, we can figure out a schedule after I get back from work,” James said quickly turning on his heel. 

Severus gawked at the retreating back before placing harry on the floor and running after him and grabbing his elbow. “ oh no no no!” 

“Uhhh” James grunt screamed annoyed before gazing down at the black haired male. “What is the problem, weren’t we-” he motioned between them. "-in agreement? What more do you want” 

“ An explanation to why you don’t bloody care for him yourself, maybe?” Severus asked

“Because I never wanted to in the first place.” James answered bitterly. He then grabbed Severus's hands into his own rough ones causing the smaller to jolt. “ let's face it, snivy, if you leave that poor boy with me, you’ll be to blame for any further neglect” 

Severus was shocked into silence at the threat before he shook his head in disbelief.“You are a disgusting  bastard” 

“yes, yes I know now if you’ll excuse me!” and with that James, Potter walked out his door. 

Chapter Text

James hadn't been around for 3 days, since he walked out of Severus’s apartment. Severus had tired knocking on his door a couple of times at different times of the day, but to no avail. The bastard was never in or doing a fantastic job at acting like he wasn't.

 It didn’t take long for severus to get tired with James's games. He needed to talk to him and he needed to do it now! 

The only thing that kept him from knocking was Harry running around searching for something that wasn't there. He knew Harry didn't see james often, but you could assume he saw him often enough to presume that he was important somehow. He often took to searching the house for the man and anything that linked back to him.

The bright side was that it didn’t seem like the boy suffered from too much stress. He was still social and lively, but severus put it down to a want for real attention. It was sad seeing the boy act out for it, like a zoo animal.

Severus remembers the moment he had set Harry on the floor to chase after James. He had been surprised at first when he turned and there was no child. He had imagined Harry crawled off somewhere so he had begun to look for the boy. 

His apartment was clean -obviously, but that didn’t mean nothing could fall on the child and crush him. That sent panic through severus as he noticed the living room was vacant.

 He began to look a second time when he heard distant paters. He leaned his figure back until he could gaze into the hall of his apartment. He quickly noticed his bedroom door standing a foot open. Severus walked to it, briskly fearing he had left his potions out. 

He opened the door slowly, flinching at the squeak before gazing around the bland environment. “Harry?”

He heard a squeal and instantly jumped and turned to face a little Harry gurgling up at him. Severus gasped clutching his heart as he released all the breath from his lungs in quick puffs. He wasn’t scared he was just surprised. 

“Harry” severus breathed squatting to be level with the boy. 

“Bassward” the boy squealed clapping in happiness at the new person.  He didn’t know where he was but he felt great!

Severus choked on his spit as he narrowed in on the boy. “Did you just call me a bastard?” Harry only squealed in cheerfulness that he was communicating with the man. Severus eyes softened before they hardened up again with resentment. “I’m going to kill him” 

After that severus had called upon another of his mothers elves with the task of gathering more baby supplies. He even summoned for a crib for the little thing and a gate that would keep Harry from his books. Harry liked those books, he found it fun to push them over and drag them from the hardwood cover. He also liked the hardwood floor, opting to lay face down and drool on it. Oh and he liked to suck on severus cheek, his nose, his coffee table and his couch. It was obvious he stayed attached to his pacifier a little too long. So with his running and his need to put odd things in his mouth, Severus could imagine why James thought he had the authority to lock him in his crib. 

But severus made due with it by replacing his fascination for disgusting things with food and games. It wasn’t a hard task and it didn't distract severus from his work too much -once he'd baby proofed everything. 

He moved all the books from the living room to the spare room that was already filled with books. His desk was now in the living room, no longer in his office. 

He moved around furniture and squeezed in the crib next to his bed and the playpen in the living room. Now his house looked less like a librarian's wet dream and more like a daycare center. 

After the arrangements he found it easier to keep an eye on the boy. It was also quite easy to sit and not write while taking care of the infant. And, although Harry repeatedly spoke in profanities, he was surprisingly good company. 

 He was still great company 3 days later, but that didn’t mean severus was ready to full on move him in. He might had been working from home but his manager could pop by. If james was serious about this then they really did need that schedule.

 So as he and Harry were walking down towards james's apartment he was set on telling him that. He highly doubted he would be in this time either, but if not it was a great opportunity to let Harry breath. 

Of course, thanks to Severus's ever worsening luck, James was in fact in his apartment and he had company! As soon as he reached James's floor he could hear people from inside his apartment. Before he could even reach the door to knock, it swung open and, not one, not two, but three God forsaken bints walked out and past him towards the stairs. 

Severus pulled a face at their backs and the apartment they came from. Harry, however, was excited to see even more people let out a squeal. “ blliichs” 

Severus gasped before picking the boy up as the three turned. He smiled nochantly as they gazed at him like he was the odd one. And he remained smiling until they disappeared down the hall. 

Severus sighed in relief before turning his head to gaze at the small trouble maker. “ I'm gonna kill your daddy” he cooed as Harry giggled and nodded along cutely. Severus placed a kiss on his forehead before knocking on the door. 

It took a few moments but eventually James opened it and instantly made a move to close it. 

Severus was quicker as he shouldered the door and pushed james back. “ glad to know you're alive” Severus said putting harry on the couch and passing him one of his toys. 

“Yeah I'm sure you are, now why are you here?” Severus gazed at Potter before he bit the inside of his cheek in thought. James gazed questiongly at him before severus let out a laugh. “What the he-”

Severus's hand stung with such force than even harry stilled with fear as he searched for the scary noise that had taken his attention away from his toy. 

When harry's lip started tremble severus picked him up from where he sat, hugging the child close and softly bouncing him. Severus paid james no mind as james tested his jaw movement before coming to terms with what exactly just happened. 

“Did you just hit me?” 

“ I didn’t hit you” Severus said fire burning in his eyes. “ I slapped you.” 

James glared at the smaller male, hand flexing on his jaw. "huh, ok”  he took fast calculated steps towards severus as the smaller stepped back. When he was close enough he grabbed one of  the arms wrapped around Harry's body in a fierce grip. “Put him down” 

“Why would I do that? You’ll attack me if I do”

“That's where you’re wrong. I’ll attack you either way, doll.” James's hand flexed slightly around his wrist. “I should’ve bent you over my knee the first time you acted out”

Severus gasped before jutting his chin out. ”what the hell! I’m an adult you re-” 

“I refer to when you stepped out of line in 3rd year" 

"Listen to me,Potter" Severus spat in disgust. " the moment you put your hands on me is the moment you walk your sorry ass down the path to hell in a joyous trot with the reaper"

James's mouth twitched at that before he let out a ugly laugh. He doubled over before wiping the tears from his eyes. "Your such a riot, tell me, where was this severus back in school" he said smirking at the smaller man.

"He was there, you just thought he was ugly"

Chapter Text

"Can't, I have work," James said as he shrugged back on the couch. "Ever since you came along, I've picked up a full schedule."

Severus looked at him bored as he tried to figure out if those women hindered his "full schedule." "When are you gonna pick up being a full-time Dad?"

James directed a bored look at Severus before making himself comfortable again and picking up the TV remote. He did some clicking before slinging it back down beside him. He yawned and scratched his stomach. Severus gazed disapprovingly at him, James looked like a proper deadbeat. Well, he was a proper deadbeat, wasn’t he? Severus thought frowning in deep thought before getting up and standing in front of James's view of the muggle footie game.

“Aye, watch it” The brunette swatted at him, straining his neck to see if he could look past the towering nuisance. Severus ignored him.

“Get up.”

“Why the hell would I do that? I'm watching a match at the moment,” he jerked his head sideways "move!”

The black-haired boy just continued to look down at the disgusting excuse of a high school popular jock. He still looked the same, still had the abs and the strong quidditch legs. But you could tell he had gotten pathetic. Well, more than he already was.

“Get up… We’re going to fight.” Severus said evenly.

James paused, tilting his head up to gaze at the younger male. “What did you just say?” Severus wasn’t afraid to deliver the same sentence again and it sparked something within James. This was, in fact, Snivellus he was talking too, an inferior being that he bullied all too easily back in school. A boy whose nose was bigger than his head and his body combined. Yet, he’s the one initiating a fight with James, a Quidditch athlete that could’ve gone pro, if he wanted too. A Gryffindor born to be an Auror. Someone who could easily overpower the likes of Snivellus in a heartbeat. James let out a chuckle before it sent him into an all-out fest. leaning forward to bury his head in his hands, shoulders shaking violently. Severus glared at the insult before he lashed his arm out and clocked James in the side of the head. It only took seconds for James to get up and dish out equally nasty hits. Harry, who was sat in a highchair only a few feet away watched on in joyful ignorance.

Surprisingly it was Severus who came out on top the first time. “Why are you so bloody frustrating, uhh, he’s your fucking child you blithering Cabrón”

James flipped them gearing up his arm for another punch. “I don’t even know what that means” James gritted swinging a barely catching the others cheek.

“Naturally you don’t, Pendejo! Que te folle un pez!” Severus said scornfully digging his nails into the arm keeping his shoulder pinned down.

“Pahnahoo” Harry screamed.

“I don’t know if you're trying to piss me off more or turning me on,” James said in retaliation.

Severus’s bruised face screwed up before he mumbled something incoherent. All James knew is a moment later he was flung off and away from the other. Once James was on the ground groaning Severus sat up, stopping short as his vision swayed. “ow," James mumbled.

Harry lost interest in the adults and refocused on the tv that showcased a man being lifted into the air. Harry wanted to fly too.

The black-haired male slowly made it to his feet before stumbling over to the other male, gathering his discarded wand up along the way. Once he was towering over James’s figure again, he pointed. All James saw was his lean figure and his pale face framed by his raven hair. Blood trailed from his cheek and somehow lined a part of Severus's upper lip. James wasn't any better.

“When you wake up, we will talk about Harry’s wellbeing and find a way for you to make time!”

James groaned seeing Severus's lips curve around his next words. James drowned and mumbled “Cheater.”

“stupefy.” Severus sighed as he saw James's head loll.

This was a bad idea. He had always had a primal need to fight with James, but lately that need was turning more deadly.

The author looked towards the idiot’s spawn, asking why he had such an idiotic father. Harry ignored him continuing with a new task. Severus huffed and dragged his hands across his face before throwing his wand on the couch.

Setting his hands on his hips, he looked down at the other man. This was gonna be a pain, he thought, before bending and trying to get some leverage to grab ahold of the other. It was hard, not only was James muscularly heavy, but it seemed like his stupidity added more weight too…

Severus was barely able to drag him to the couch much less able to throw him on it. Once more than half of James’s body was on the sofa, Severus plopped down beside the sleeping male.

James’s head lolled sideways till it connected with Severus's shoulder.

The Slytherin didn’t mind, well not until James snored loudly in his ear.

“Even in sleep you’re annoying,” Severus sneered getting up from the couch as James’s body fell into the now empty space.

Making his way to the surprisingly clean kitchen, he checked for any unused towels before soaking two of them.

Afterwards, he searched around for a first-aid kit because who wouldn’t have one? James, that's who.

As a result, he angrily shut the drawer he’d been looking in and grabbed one towel from under the hot stream. He wrung it and took to working on his own injuries. Severus winced at how deep the gash on his cheek was. He’d get an infection and scars if he left his cuts like this without the proper medical equipment. Hence with great pain, Severus did the one thing he detested doing.

“Thingol!” When Severus heard the static pop he turned to face the miniature elf that stood before him. “Would you be a dear and fetch me my first aid kit?"

Once Thingol had gone, Severus turned to the little boy currently entranced with trying to bounce in his seat. The older man smiled and jerked his head right. It only took a moment for the highchair to start moving in his direction. Harry looked intrigued by the sudden motion letting out an almost silent “what.”

In the time Thingol took to return Severus took to cutting up one of the apples on the table passing them to harry as he went along. And as the author looked down into the eyes of the boy he couldn’t help but coo.

“ You hungry?”, he asked grabbing the last four and handing them over. He found himself smiling looking at the two. Thingol was more organized and refined with his eating, his droopy ears making him look like a little bunny. Harry, however, just seemed to suck then throw them on the floor but still, they were both so cute. And that made Severus happy.

But all too soon he found himself squatted before a sleeping figure who was oozing blood on the couch cushion. But that wasn’t Severus’s problem to deal with, was it? No, his problem was alternating between several alternative ways to snore.

“I see why she left you,” Severus sighed readying himself to clean off the other. James twitched at the contact every time Severus dabbed too close to his cuts but still the black-haired male kept on. Cleaning the others face was a pain, between the twitching and tossing he did Severus almost left him. It honestly felt as if he was doing it on purpose.

It got to the point where he had to settle on top of the other just so he wouldn't turn away again. But that proved useless as the other's arms warped around his wrist that held the dishrag and yanked. Severus yelped as his lips made contact with James' cheek. He tried to sit up but the arms already moved on to his waist. Oh hell no.

He braced his arms on the free areas of the couch before trying to hoist himself but each time James’s arms would tighten. It stayed like that for a few minutes until Severus's struggles began to sway them closer and closer to the edge of the couch. And eventually, Severus’s back met the floor in a puff of air. But the lack of air wasn’t Severus's concern, no his concern was still latched on to him and it had developed another arm. James was snuggled in between his legs and his face buried with the crease of his neck.

Severus whined. “Why me?”

James only smiled from where he laid.

Chapter Text

“Could you chew any louder?” James growled.

Severus lifted his head from his meal, mouth full and dirty. “Yes” and continued eating the spaghetti.“Oh, this sucks, by the way.” Fork pointed down at the pasta before he shoveled in another mouth full. Just because it wasn't the best didn't mean Severus was any less hungry.

“Impossible,“ James said crisply. “This is my mother's spaghetti, the best there ever was.”

Severus looked at him with a frown and a sad look in his eyes. “Such a shame you’ve never tasted flavor.” Before cracking a smile when James threw a piece of bread at his head.

“Don’t tell me you’ve spent a week in Mexico.” James mocked.

“You mean Italy?” Severus corrected.

“What's the difference?” James said dismissively. “About 6,317 miles.” Severus shot back.

“Yeah, whatever. What the bloody hell were you doing there?”

“Just for fun.” was his answer. It was a half-truth he was there for the same reason he was back in England. It wasn’t the first time he’s been sent off for his books. He’s been to France for a year and Italy for a year and a half.

James narrowed his eyes at that. “Why do you always lie to me?” Severus had taken another bite of his food before he graced James with an answer. “I don't, and if I am it's my business.”

With that, he turned to Harry who was taking bites of his garlic bread in large chunks. His cheeks were filled with what Severus guessed where leftovers from his first couple of bites. He also had sauce on his lip and chin, and Severus was puzzled because he didn’t even give him sauce. When Sev shot him a questioningly gaze Harry only smiled crookedly letting the leftovers peak out. Ew.

“Fine. I need Harry tomorrow.” James said stabbing angrily at his food. Severus was starting to piss him off with these half-truths. The Slytherin quirked a brow at this turning to look at James in surprise.

“You want to spend time with your child?”

“Salazar no,” Severus rolled his eyes mumbling incoherently of course.“ I have to go to the manor tomorrow; my mother wants to see her grandchild,” James answered.

“And to foolishly think” Severus started turning back to the child and wiping his chin.“Your daddy wanted to stop being a waster.”

“Don’t say that,” The Gryffindor screeched. Severus smiled thinking he was riling him up by calling him out on his shit. “That word is not reserved for him… But you, you can call me daddy… or Papi” He smirked. Severus truly gagged feeling the mediocre spaghetti rise in his throat. Even consumed and digested it tasted to overcooked and sweet.

“That’s it!” Severus announced throwing his lap towel down on the table. “I’m ordering some real food!” Causing James to let out a squeak.

“Real food! This food is the first to go at any gathering.”

“Where? Straight to the loo?” Severus dumbly questioned watching the red rise to the top of James’s neck. But it didn’t seem like he wanted to give Severus the time of day anymore and instead gathered a deep breath before walking out of the dining area and into his room. The writer could only watch before he shrugged and snagged the boy’s landline quickly sorting through the take out flyers James had stuffed into a kitchen door. Severus wouldn’t be surprised if this “five-star” spaghetti was the only thing he knew how to make. Probably serves it to his doggies for mealtime, Severus wouldn’t doubt they’ll consider this fine dining. Savages they are.

By the time the Food arrived Severus had cleaned up Harry and had him on the floor in front of the telly. Severus didn’t trust those mind-numbing creepy animals they played for kids, so he kept it on an education channel. Maybe some of the words would stick with Harry or lure him to sleep. Either would be fine for Severus as it was getting quite late. As he reclined back on the couch slurping up the cheaply made pasta from a joint down the street James had finally emerged from his room once more.

“That doesn’t look like ‘Brunch with my parents tomorrow’ attire,” Severus noted only to be annoyed as James glared back at him before exiting -and slamming the door- the loft.

“Ass.” Severus mumbled causing Harry to unconsciously mumble it back even if he was solely focused on the toy in his hands. Severus only groaned before picking the boy up and resigning to teaching the boy at least two new words until James got back from his exploits. Except James wasn’t at a bar or a hotspot with Sirius hanging off his back. No, he was at the ministry leaning against Weasley's desk as he uncovered a file.

“I can’t do this again Potter. This is barely legal on the account he’s taking care of your child.”Arthur said holding out a pink and red folder. “The pink one is magical history and the red one contains muggle records such as alter ego’s and since he’s half-blood family ancestry, etc.”

“Alter Ego’s?”

“Yeah,” Arthur answered before quickly stating.“ not necessarily used for malicious actions. A Lot of wizards have falsehoods to create living and Medical records in the Muggle world. Like -you remember Ava? She has one under Isabella Macklin, so she can be a muggle attorn-”

“You know what,” James interrupted handing the folders back. “Why don’t you take this is read it back to me because I don’t know what the bloody hell you’re talking about.”

“Er… sure, Um Severus Snape born January 9, 1960, Spinnerstown hospital. It seems he’s had a rough time growing up. Say's his father was brought in on suspicion on Domestic abuse...Several times- but the charges were dropped once Eileen snape refused to testify. Medical notes cases of the flu, broken bones, prescriptions of pills-”

“What's that?”

“Basically muggle potions: depression, anxiety, and insomnia all handed out pretty consistent up until Two years ago when he cleared therapy. Said he moved to Spain and we’d require the Red one for that.” He said clumsy setting the pink file down and begging to open up the red one.

“Elijah Eileenson! A very famous writer it seems. Won bestseller for Neville Longbottom -Arthur snorted at the name- savior of the wizarding world. Has a good couple of books under his belt and is signed under the Rosier ink publishing office- noted this is what seems to be marked as a wizard owned establishment. And it seems as if he’s rumored to be working on another book as we speak! Wow, he’s done Himself good hasn’t he-”

“Yeah, I’m sure of it,” James said with a dangerous glare- He knew that slimy snake was lying to him. “Any relationship statuses?”

“Now James, I’ve already discussed quite a bit for you as an employer to know. I-”

“He’s taking care of my Child Arthur,” James said worriedly. “ I need to know if his partners may pop up and if they do, are they a threat to my son” He sympathized playing on Wesley's fatherhood.

Weasley sighed through his nose before grabbing his wand and waving it over the parchment. “ Only one, Evan Rosier. Dated, if even that, briefly but remain close friends. Now I really must ask you to go, I’ve already gone as far as my position allows.”

James smiled. “No worries mate, got all I needed anyway.”

Chapter Text

“Wake up!” Severus flinched at the smack that landed on his nose before wiggling it. He pried his booger-ed eyes open to gaze at the bain of his entire being. There James stood prim and proper with a button-down and muggle jeans. Severus wouldn’t be surprised if he were sporting church shoes or penny loafers. 

“See you couldn’t fix that hair of yours.” Severus acknowledged gazing from his comforter. 

“Likewise.”

“Ooo, you wound me,” Severus said sarcastically before leaning up on his right forearm. “How’d you get in my house?”

“Ways. Now change my son, I have somewhere to be in the next hour.” James said before making his way out of the Slytherins bedroom. Severus only grumbled a few harsh things under his breath before he pushed himself upwards. 

This wasn’t what he wanted to do on a Saturday evening, but it’s better than brainstorming a final War scene when you’ve barely gotten to chapter five. God, why did he have to write a series! He should’ve one off’d Voldemort and got it over with. 

But still, after changing Harry’s diaper, feeding him and dressing him, he watched James step into his fireplace (without permission) and leave with the only distraction keeping him from his desk. So there he sat propped against his chair as his knuckles cramped, and his paper ripped. He was starting to fancy one of those Computers, but he was a traditional man. Even if it meant wasting ink and then more ink to cross over the ink to fix the ink, he still enjoyed his trusty typewriter. 

“Oh, my Fucking Shit!” Severus screamed, ripping up another paper that housed far too many Mistakes to even be worth fixing. That’s it! He’s done and never writing again! Fuck it!

It wasn’t often he give up on a book that he already had five possible timelines written off on. But he was finding it exceeding difficult to end this series like he wanted to. 

So instead, he retired to the bathroom where he sat soaking up the evening. He was only beginning to prune, but he still refused to be removed from the warm solace while the day set on his window — the copy of the first few chapters laid beside the tub, covered in incense ashes and watermarks. Severus had even burnt a few cigarette holes into it in disgust as he decided whether or not to scrap it all. The paper was as good as ruined anyway.

He only lit another before reclining back into the tub and blowing the smoke harshly from his nose. My god, he hated smokers, but he hated writing more and still did it. He was always a hypocrite and had no qualms of admitting it. Merlin forbid someone else was, he’d call them out quicker than a firebolt.

In the distance, Severus heard a thunderstorm of steps and creaking. A Hissed curse and an odd infant sound before the steps continued. 

“Severus!” A manly voice called before he heard the door was pushed open. “Sev- Oh, what pretty collarbones.”

“What a creepy entrance,” Severus answered back, popping one eye open to reveal James leaning against the doorway. “How’d you get i-”

“In your house? Ways.” James answered back nonchalantly, causing Severus to leer in a hateful way. “Fine, why are you in my bathroom?” 

“Because I wanted to talk to you, and you so happen to be in the bathroom,” James said, shrugging as readjusted his stance. “By the way, that’s a nice little setup you got for Harry in there.”

“Why do you want to talk to me, Potter?” Severus spoke, closing his eyes once more. He had nothing to worry about, as long as James stayed the fuck away from him, and he still had a cloud of soap covering him. 

“Thought you wanted to hear about the brunch.” 

“I don’t.” 

“Well, since you asked,” James started just as Severus interrupted him once more. “I didn’t. Now it’ll do you best to leave; I’ll feel bad having you posted like that and not giving you the time of day. Must be uncomfortable having to hold up your body weight and stupidity.”

“That was horrible; you could do better than that Severus.” James sighed before beginning to work the buttons of his shirt. “But since you so kindly offered.” 

“I’m sorry, what did I offer?” Severus spoke before opening his eyes once more in time to see James shuck his trousers to his knees. Severus reared up in the bathtub, a nasty snare forming on his lips. “No.” James paused, right hand trying to dislodge the pant cuff from his left ankle — left hand gripping the top of his briefs. They held eye contact before James uncaring shoved them off too. Severus sighed in sheer anger, putting a hand on his eyes like he discovered a new form of a headache. 

Today was not his day. 

“Ow, sheeet. Did you boil this water in hell?” The Auror said, seating himself facing the snake. The author pulled a disgusting face as he felt James leg along the length of his.

“Do you understand consent?”

James only stared from where he sat before looking at Severus as if he was dumb. “Yes.” 

“Anyway, It went horribly. Kinda, I enlightened my parents on work— they’re proud...obviously. I even mentioned finding a suitable nanny to be here when I can’t look after my little Gryffindor. Harry, when he was being held, even asked for kisses! Scored some fine points for that.” James said smugly.

“I taught him that,” Severus grumbled.

 “Yes, I know, but anyway, Harry was preening at the attention. Sure he was still dull to the world around him and instead focused on the most childish things -but he was doing good. All until we were getting ready to leave.” James said, waiting for the other to ask what happened next, although Severus never did.

 “He called my Father a bastard.” Severus, not to anyone’s surprise, let out the ugliest belly laugh that. Well, if that isn’t the funniest shit, he’s heard in weeks. “Sadly, it sounded a little too rehearsed to be passed off a baby ramble— so I had to come up with a buyable explanation. Only hope Mother feels better about Sirius before Yule comes around.”

“You blamed it on Sirius. That’s fucked up. Now he might miss out on your mom’s spaghetti next family dinner.” Severus said with false sympathy for the sadistic freak.

“I’m not joking Snape. My mother gave me a good lashing for it to; she sounded just like you.” 

Severus only quirked an eyebrow before stubbing the cigarette. “I’m surprised she even believed you. But you’ve always been a good lair during Hogwarts.”

“Unlike you, I don’t find lying a hobby. Oh, speaking of which I’d advise you not to lie to me when I ask you a question.” James fired back. 

“If I lie, it’s no one’s business but my own.” 

“Yes, because hiding a couple of dorky books is so life-threatening,” James mocked. Severus slit his eyes before standing up and out of the bathtub and making his way to the living room a moment later. Nudity be damned. His wet feet patter-ed across the floor before he came and peeked at Harry, sitting in the area that was made for him. He checked to see if the child needed any enjoyment before he began heading back to the bathroom. He quickly shot a silencing spell at the door before entering and closing it. 

“What did you do!” The author seethed at the male leaning against the edge of the bathtub.

“What any smart person with an active liar in their mists would. Did you forget that I’m an Auror and your employer.” 

“I never willingly agreed to it! You threatened a child’s life and expected me to not take care of him! I’m not doing this for bloody money, and even then, you have no right to look into me! Even years later, you’re still so fucking incredible! Did you do this to Lily too?” Severus argued, screaming his lungs out at the other. 

“No! I’ve never done anything to her except put up with her Bullshit!-” 

“Like-Minded people band together, I guess,” Severus fired in the background. 

“And I’m not about to sit here and take yours!” James yelled over his outburst. 

“I never asked you to!” Severus screamed before James continued. “But you expect me to! I gave you chances Severus, just a few to tell me the truth and nothing else. Now I don’t have to deal with your lying because now I know everything.” 

“Exactly what is everything?” Raged Snape.

“The word is pretty self-explanatory. Don’t you think?”

Severus jaw ticked before he shook his head. “You know what, whatever. I shouldn’t even be surprised by such blatant disrespect towards my privacy concerning you.” 

“I’m glad you realize that now.”

“I can’t believe I thought you’d ever be a suiting husband” Severus mumbled causing James to quirk up. 

“Suiting husband!? You thought of marriage, my Severus its only been a couple of weeks.” 

“That's not what I meant!” Severus backtracked quickly. He had meant all the opportunities he could provide Lily if they had a family. He didn't like Potter but he was never stupid enough to see lily did -despite any and all of his shortcomings. “I was referring to how Lily spoke of you in school and ho- actually don’t test me. Drain the tub when you’re done, then get the fuck out.” Severus finished before exiting the room once more. 

It was only a few minutes later when Severus was dressed in a worn Iron maiden shirt and Pj bottoms; Did James cross his path again dressed in slacks with his shirt unbuttoned and one of his towels draped across his head. James merely smiled at him as Sev bounced Harry on his lap. He was even smiling as he called out Bye honey when he exited, taking one of Severus’s few towels with him. It always made Severus blood boil that James was unfazed by all his misdoings. Fuck Severus was fazed by others for them. All he could chalk it up to was rich and spoiled. He’s never felt a hand against his skin a day in his life, and it showed like a cold sore. 

Severus would’ve glowered some more if his fireplace didn’t ignite, and an old face appeared. “Tobi!” 

“I told you never to call me that!” Severus growled before placing Harry down as the inflamed head snapped to his location.

“Just had to make sure you wouldn’t ignore me” The man smiled. 

“You’re probably one of the hardest people to ignore,” Severus said, walking to the fireplace. “What do you want, Evan?”

“Well, for starters, an explanation on who’s child that is on the couch, and I’m coming down to London on the 12th.” 

“One not mine and two why? Are you coming as a friend or a devil’s advocate to your father? You know what it’s probably the one that’s gonna have me pulling my hair out.” the author said, crossing his arms.

He should feel grateful it's Evan coming down, at least he won’t yell at him. The last time Mr. Rosier came down while he was in France, he simply threw he’s two months’ work in the trash. After that, he sat and watched as Severus rewrote something worth publishing. Severus would have cried if he wanted him to critique his crying. But in all his assholeness, the man was a good publisher and had been the father, although just as harsh, Severus thought he deserved. Someone who didn’t let him slack or put a bad foot first. At Least it wasn’t a tiger mom; they didn’t get paid to go through that kinda hell.

“I’m confused, that works for both of them.” the other laughed. 

“Sadly” 

“Anywho I’m gonna be pop by for a week. Liquor?”

Chapter Text

The Author trudged through the Cafe door as he shed his jacket. It was already quite warm, but the immense body heat in the room made his skin crawl. It wasn’t horrible outside, but a soft wind had picked up that if out too long made one shiver. Even the soft breeze was better than a cafe that had the heat on and the number of customers to match it. So, he stayed by the shop door scanning the room before dropping his eyes among a man sitting amongst the muggles. 

“Evan!” Severus greeted, making his way over as the other stood in greeting. Finally, ready to have some much needed time off with his friend. He lucked out that Harry got invited to the Weasleys house and was whisked away from his grasp. Maybe he should frequent Lucius’s home and see if his little dragon took a liking to a new friend. That boy always enjoyed new subjects, or in Severus’s case, a horse. 

“There he is, the man who’s as good as dead.” 

“Now, don’t say such things I’ve not come empty-handed,” Severus said, pulling the thick stack of papers from his satchel. “All in two and a half work,” he said, planting the new and improved rushed version of the first draft down on the table. He’d admit ruining the first one last week wasn’t as good an idea his tired mind thought at the time. Sure he ultimately made a lot of changes, but it would’ve been lovely having the first draft as reference. He wasn’t sure if he’s new ideas were the ones he already wrote down or thought up at the moment.

Evan gazed at it suspiciously, not impressed in the slightest. “Oh, so you mean a month and a half’s work? Oh, Severus, if you wanted to die, there are easier ways.” 

“It’s the best I could do with your father’s ridiculous deadlines. Plus it’s better to write less knowing he’s gonna scarp half of it anyways.” The boy huffed pulling his chair out and plopping down. “I’m not a full-time robot; I need rest and food.”

“and Love, sex, hobbies outside of reading, and enjoyment in life, but do you have those things? No, so you should be able to manage such a simple task. Plus I’ll be the one returning, so it’s not like he’s going to lash out at you.” Evan said, grabbing one of the sandwiches they had set down for him.

“Oh, please, you can take it, can’t you?” Evan was a wild card and a spoiled brat. But whenever his father felt particularly moody always took it in stride and moved on with his day. He was practically immune and or had enough balls in his pants to act like he was.

“Not as good as you.”

“Ooo cheeky,” Severus mumbled, sliding Evans half-drunk tea over to his side of the table. “What? Are you starving yourself? You haven’t any real  food.” 

“I may be rich, but I’m as cheap as it gets,” Evan said flipping past the first page. He let the other hand travel up the table to snatch his tea back to his side. “Why would I feed you for free when you’re sending me home with this.” eyeing the draft as if it was a blackened banana peel. 

“Because you wanted to visit in place of your father. Also, you’ve done worse to disappoint your father, we both know that.”  

“I hate you.”

“No.” 

“Yes.” They kept on until they carried into silence, old friends with an even older acceptance of the others’ silence. Severus sighed 5 minutes later and gave up, tugging his wallet from his jean pocket. It was to no one’s surprise, at least not Evans, that he came back with a handful of pastries. A couple more minutes ticked by with many patrons leaving and coming in as Evans read through the script. 

The ringing bell was so constant Severus stopped caring for it. It wasn’t a good idea what with James and Frank walking through a moment later. James only took one glance at the slumped shoulders and black hair before he knew exactly who it was. With whom, however, he could only guess, and he already didn’t like the answer. 

“I’m going to piss,” Severus mumbled, pushing his chair back and winding through the standing patrons. James smirked before asking Frank to order for him making his way over to the lone person. 

“Hey,” James spoke, causing the other male to look up at him with a quirk of his eyebrow. 

“Hellllo?”

“Sorry to sit down announced, am I interrupting you?” James asked, crossing his arms in a flex on the table. He was bigger than this guy, but he was taller; he may have lost to Severus, but Severus grew up in the rough. 

“Uh, not quite.” the man said, clearing his throat. “Is there something I could help you with?” 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Er, it’s just I saw your friend before he got up. But I don’t want to sound presumptuous or anything if he-” 

“No, no, don’t worry; go on,” Evan said, hopefully easing the man’s nerves. He seemed like a right bloke, and someone that looked like him and acted this nervous was odd. But then again this guy was trying to make a grab for Severus so really what else could one expect. 

“Oh good. I was wondering if, by chance, I could get his number?” James let out a natural world winning smile that soon fell as he even shook his head. 

“Sorry mate, no can do, that’s personal information. I can introduce you tho-”

“No! I’m incredibly shy. Can I just leave mine with you?” 

“Yeah sure.” Evan passed over the pen he was using to mark the sheet and watched as the man scribbled his number down on Severus’ napkin. When he was finished he handed it over with a smile before excusing himself. Evan watched as he linked up with another man who handed off his drink and they were gone in a flourish. Evan shrugged to himself before finishing off the page he was currently invested in, waiting for Severus’s return. It was only mere minutes later when Severus returned in an exhausted fit. 

“Why must these places always have three stalls?” he huffed in annoyance. 

“Because they have urinals, it’s no one’s fault but your own you’re too much of a pansy to piss like a real man,” Evan answered, studying the page harder over a passage that was too wordy. 

“Good to know that your idea of being a man means sharing your dick with others. Tell me, is that what you did in all those gentlemen clubs your father put you in?” Severus teased. 

“Don’t annoy me, Severus, also speaking of sharing dicks a fine man set aside his number for you,” Rosier said vaguely, pointing towards the napkin that sat crumpled under Severus’ elbow. 

The Slytherin gazed even in surprise before retrieving it and studying the neat handwriting. “Who the fuck names their child Leo. right hippies must be a moonchild.” 

“So that’s his name.” the other drawled. “Any, I think he’s quite the catch for someone who’s interested in you anyway. You should give him a call.” 

Severus glared at the hidden insult before throwing the napkin aside. “I don’t make a habit of getting to know strangers.” 

“Make an exception for this one. He was broad and quite charming. He’s a four-eye tho.” Severus rolled his eyes. “No, thank you! I’ve quite enough of those for the rest of my life.” 

“You remember when I said you don’t make time for sex and human contact. Don’t make me be the one that makes you have time.” Severus glared at Evan in a menacing manner, he was old enough to not be bitched around. It was his social life and he decided he fit best as a shut-in author. The world was a battlefield and he’d rather stay at headquarters instead of on the field. Men were manipulative, horny, dirty little creatures. Why would he ever want to subject himself to one willingly?

Fixing even with an unmovable stare Severus stated firmly. “No.”. 

Evan merely smirked. 

Chapter Text

"You what!" Severus screamed, jumping from his seat at the island. "The nerve, the sheer disrespect. I've met a one-year-old that listens better than you do, what were you thinking?"

"Exactly what I said," Evan returned, looking through the other's fridge. "Severus is a lonely little shit wallowing in the drama of a fictional teen, and he hasn't had anyone to love but his mother, myself, and depression. He hasn't had a prick since, again myself or ever."

He fussed, screaming at the others back, "Without my consent, do you even know the term boundaries?". It was beyond him on why he thought he had any right to call and set him up with some stranger. He could be a psychopath, a fucking serial killer, oh my god he could be looking to have a threesome for all Severus knew. 

He remembers when his mother went on a blind date "getting back in the game," and the man had tried to kidnap her, claiming he was in love with her. He had been lucky enough that he didn't lose his mother due to her being a bloody wizard. He didn't even know until she got home, his mother was in danger, and he thought she was having a grand time. What if that's what happens, what if he gets killed and no one looks for him after he's already dead and buried. What if he gets buried alive?

Rosier snorted, "You can't expect me to be your only source of dick Tobi. I won't be down here every month, and what if I get married, then what. I don't want you drying up and dying from blue balls." 

"Sceientfly not possible! And if I want sex, I could. Find. It. My. Self." Severus said, stressing each word. He didn't have time for sex logic when he could be potentially facing someone with a foot fetish. No offense or kink-shaming because he had done worse with Evan the handful of times they coupled but still.  

Evan huffed before turning around, letting the door slowly close itself. "That's the thing; you won't. Then you'll get in one of your moods and take it out on one of your characters. Newsflash, we're all sick of Neville's traumatic flashbacks!" 

"I do not-"

"Yes, you do, and I don't think your readers can take any more angst. Now you are going on this date, and if it doesn't work out, so be it. But I'm not servicing you any longer until you try this." Rosier said, continuing. "it's at some knock-off Italian place "Cristo's" or some shit at eight, and I don't want you to return until tomorrow morning because I'm going out and need your flat for when I return."

"I hate you." 

"No, you don't," Evans threw back before thrusting his pointer finger in the direction of Severus' bedroom. "Now go get ready maybe we'll both get lucky tonight." 

"You could be sending me to someone that's gonna break my heart." 

"Or back now, go." 

"Vete al Demonio," Severus hissed, stomping to his room with a string of curse words directed at his temporary roommate. "Don't use my bedroom," and with that, he slammed his door shut Evan shouting after him that he's already in hell.

It only took three hours before he sat on the trolley between a teenage girl and an overworked woman. Both looked exhausted, and Severus couldn't blame them. He would be too if he didn't get a fat paycheck from sitting on his ass all day writing fanfiction for children. He gets paid to make the drama that women faces at work and the hormones the teen goes through. That and the given fact that if he got particularly lazy, he could always get his pen to write down his thoughts for him. His magic, however, couldn't get him out of a lousy date and wasn't that sad. Such a powerful thing that couldn't even be used for the simplest of matters. 

The trolley slowed to a stop before "15th street" was called, and Severus made quick work of exiting after sliding a good pound into the women's purse. That was his mother in the flesh, and he couldn't sleep if he even gave the thought of her having children. If he could help a child today, he could help another Severus from growing as stretched and bitter as he'd been.  

But he digresses, he's still very much bitter. 

"Cristo's, party of one?" The host asks as cheerily as that paycheck allows her to be. The restaurant itself was nice beyond any typical "Italian" restaurant, in its price and care. The decor was stripped from stereotype weekly-most likely to attract customers-, and the waiters in staff were anything but Hispanic or even Italian looking, which is surprising given the amount that does live here. But he, himself, wasn't even native, and yet here he was judging on only a mere year of experience. He was based in Spain, but Italy had his heart. 

 What a fucking "I spent a week in" mindset.

Severus merely returned the smile before stating, "no, I'm actually here with a Leo Fleamont?" The ending sounded quizzical as if asking if he was even on the list, and Severus hoped he wasn't. But he knew he was and even if the man hated it he did need more…..friends. 

He and Evan were only for lonely lonely lonely nights. It wasn't as if Severus was disinterested in sex, but he believes its privilege and something to indulge in if the need really was there. He, however, has many sexual thoughts and many nights spent by himself, he was not shy to sex or popular belief, people. 

He had many of Lucius and even Tom riddle before he died in the Triwizard. He wasn't even adverse to James because he was an asshole, but much like Lucius, he had looks and certain things about him. He also remembers that awkward boner when Lupin's intelligence was tested in class, and he answered perfectly. Knowledge has always been sexy and you can die denying it. Sirius, however, could hang on a stick stabbed through his balls, or die on one, he wasn't picky. 

But alas, he only laid with Evan and letting anyone else know him as intimately scared and disgusted him all the same. Especially if the person were to be doing so romantically, Evan paid his body plenty of mind, but the thought of a lover who would pay his body the mind of a scholar and a research essay is frightening. 

The host smiled brightly Remembered the gentleman that passed here only 3 minutes earlier. What a looker. "Right this way." She proceeded, exiting from behind the counter and being replaced by a co-host. "Your host has requested the Vivere a Roma table on the roof deck. Bought out for your enjoyment." 

Oh, so he was dealing with someone who likes to throw around money like pennies.  

"What kinda a name is living in Rome anyway? Is there an apartment on the roof for guest enjoyment." Severus laughed to his horror, making him realize talking to only Evan may stun his filter to mouth ratio. 

She laughed along, obviously forced." No, I'm afraid not." 

"I'm sorry," he said as he leaped behind her. 

"It's ok; I once had a guest who asked if we were going to send up a batch of Gyps for his enjoyment. I then had to tell him if the owner heard him say that she'd kick his ass so he can enjoy that. Her family's Roma and they faced racism and harassment alike, so she really hates the word, and it's connotations." She smiled back, and he couldn't help knocking his fist gently against hers in a show of quiet enjoyment. 

"We've arrived" she stated just as the doors began to open revealing a beautiful night sky and-

"If you take me down, I'll give you enough pounds to buy a car."

"Excuse me?" 

"Fuck nevermind he's seen me; I can find my way from here, thank you for the lovely story," he said quickly before exiting the elevator. He made his way steadily but angrily to were the bane of his existence and light of his loft sat. Picking up the humming Harry from the highchair on the long side of the table, he turned to glare upon his date. 

"Must you be so irritatingly malicious." 

"Oh my bad, I guess I should've written you a note and slid it under your door then?" James questioned. 

"Or stay the hmph away from me you sodding hmph of a hmph hmph hmph." Severus returned icily before Harry himself decided what he was saying was a riddle that needed to be solved. "Bich, biich" before he fell back in a Humm giving mind to Severus's shirt buttons. 

"What, Severus, do you honestly believe that would've got you here? I'm surprised that dildo of yours even allowed you to come." He argued. "If I were you, I'd find one better doesn't seem like the type to tie down." 

"Neither are you, but here you are in a committed relationship with your lack of respect and dick."

"Ok, you're mad I deceived you I get it but at least sit and enjoy a meal. You're already here, and Harry's already hooked, so you're basically trapped." He said smiling sweetly, and the Slytherin really wished he could break the wine glass over his forehead, but Harry's already seen them fight once, and he couldn't risk him getting used to it. 

"I want you to die a fiery death."

"Noted"

"And stay the hell out of my personal relations." 

"Mmm."

"And I want the spaghetti pesto, Harry will have a soup he will shallow and not hold in his mouth." 

"Noted, I'll have the same."

"And dessert, tiramisu with a cocoa powder garnish." 

"You'll have it." He promised waving over the waiter stood a reasonable pace from them. "You'll have everything you wish tonight." 

"So you'll jump over the railing for me?" Severus asked sweetly, sitting in the empty chair and moving Harry to sit along with him.

"No, but I can rail yo...ow!" 

Chapter Text

"So tell me about the boys, where have they been through all this?" 

Chapter Text

"Where exactly have you not had sex?" Severus had reluctantly told him of the disregard of his space tonight and that he had nowhere to crash. Either Evan was still out, or he had the decency to cast a silencing spell. 

"uh…. Harry's room and surprisingly the table." James answered, shuffling past Severus. "You can take my room; the sheets are clean. I've only slept in them for the past two weeks." 

It was true, in ways. After Severus barged himself in his flat, his partners had been limited despite the child's absence. If anything, James had only had four guests in the few months he's been here. The past two weeks, however, were in preparation for his affections of Severus. Sure the man tore out his heart and stomped on it a couple of times before delicately putting in back beneath his ribcage, but James was a sucker for challenges. 

"No, you take the bed and take Harry with you," Severus said, making his way to the other's restroom. "I'll get him washed up. You work on getting a barrier set up, so he doesn't fall over the edge of the bed. Oh, and bring me a pair of his jammies, please." 

"Why don't you just take the other edge?" The other started. "I mean it's not sexual, sure a bit intimate, but you did say he needed to see us acting cordial. Hell, I bet he thinks you're his fucking mother." 

"That's….frightening. Fine, I like the sleeping farthest from the door, and I would appreciate it if you remained fully clothed." the Slytherin declared. 

"I run hot thoug-."

"Then, sweat." Severus deadpanned. 

It took approximately 8 minutes to wash and clothe Harry, five for James to wash and dress. For Severus, it was embarrassingly fifteen minutes since he was more affected by this situation than he would care to admit. When everything was said and done and Severus wearing a surprisingly well-fit pair of sweats and T-shirt, they met at the end of the bed. Harry was already asleep in Severus's arms, with his body slacked and slumped against him. James awkwardly looked over his head where it laid on Severus' shoulder to give the man a "hey what can you do" smile and shrugged.

"Shall we?"

"We shall."

It took a lot out of the author to set Harry gently on the bed without jostling him too much or snapping his neck. When Harry was comfortably situated under the sheets, he also slipped in on his opposite side, and James turned off the lights. They laid like that for a few minutes, James had closed his 3 minutes ago and so had Severus. But it was him that broke the silence. 

"did you ever want siblings?" 

"Hmm." James stirred. "No, not really…. I was scared of it, really. I was practically spoiled and raised without care; if my parents had another, I would've been a father to my siblings." 

"What do you mean?"

"Sirius was 2 when they had regulus. By the time he was fifteen, he basically made sure regulus was okay mentally, he would be the one that gave the talk to him. I mean Sirius's relationship suffered with regulus greatly when he got into Slytherin. He was a dick to him that I will admit, I wouldn't have been so cruel with my sibling, but for the most part, they were close. As I said, I was spoiled and beloved; I never got reprimanded... I feel like if I had a brother, they would've treated him like regulus, I mean they already had an heir what the fuck are they going to use a spare child for." James whispered, staring up at the ceiling. 

"I've always wanted a sibling, but," Severus whispered. "My mother could barely protect me, and I could barely protect myself. Sometimes I feared if I had, they would have been killed before we got out. Sometimes I think if they had and it was a squib life would've been different."

"Do you want a big family?" James asked, turning to face him. 

"Yes, I've wanted to adopt for the longest to get as many kids out of that system as possible," he answered. 

"So do I… See more compatible then I thought."

"Christ, we were this close to having a nice conversation." Severus sighed, facing his back to the other. James merely laughed, "Oh, come on, I'm me." 

"Go to bed, James," Severus mumbled. 

"Then stop trying to have pillow talk with me, merlin my sons here." He laughed, scooting closer to the boy. 

Maybe it took a while for Severus to fall asleep, to stop thinking about how he didn't belong in this bed, not yet at least. James, too who felt odd holding Harry in his arms when he didn't even feel like Harry belonged to him anymore. The feeling, although everything he ever wanted since lily's departure, made him feel incredibly angry. His own blood and genes and he couldn't even recognize the feeling of having a son. He wondered if Lily feels this way as she spends her nights alone in France. To feel afloat even when the world is tying you down, to feel alone even though your family tree is vibrant and growing. With a heavy sigh, he had closed his eyes and jolted awake when the boy's limb smacked against his face. Gently moving it into a more comfortable position, he had tried again only to awake to the sunshine. 

"No fucking way, I just closed my eyes," he grumbled, annoyed. 

"You and Harry are bloody rain clouds. He gained a hold of me, and he was drenched, I think some of it was yours too." Severus fussed, kicking the remaining cover off of him, his front soaked lightly. Harry must have been laid there recently but currently taken hostage of the middle half of the bed; he looked like a flexible starfish. 

"I told you I ran hot," James stated. Potter trait that one, his father was practically fieldfyre when he slept. 

"Why couldn't your family choose something simpler….Like balding."

"Because my dear Severus," James started leaning up on one arm and graciously running his hand through his hair in an alluring manner. "We are simply too handsome for that." 

Chapter Text

"Mmm. What are we doing today?" James said, cuddled up to the others back.

"Nothing involving the two of us." a curt simple answer that cut right to the chase and a sharp elbow to the rib cage to dislodge unwanted touches. 

"When are you going to accept that simply isn't possible?" James countered, hoping the kitchen counter until his leg brushed against Severus. He looked unbelievingly cute in his clothes, and his hair wrapped up. Admittedly the sweat spot where Harry laid and the bagginess did make him look like a trainwreck, but when has Severus ever not looked like one?

Severus snorted, scooting a short distance away from the other. "Maybe next time. But I'm serious; I'm going back to my loft in the next 5 minutes because I need a shower and real clothes." James looked down in faux confusion, "you mean the clothes I have on are fake!?!?" he exaggerated, much to Severus chagrin. 

"You're annoying beyond belief." 

"Well, what else am I supposed to be, you're trying to leave me?" James paused for a moment. "wait, that doesn't sound right; what I'm saying is annoying characters are more prominent, so when I'm gone from your life, you'll miss my constant yammering and charming smile. Maybe a few other things as well," he finished wagging his eyebrows. 

The other merely rolled his eyes before plating the cheesy eggs and setting them aside to cool for harry. He admittedly didn't like this feeling of home. He was waking up several times in the night with heat flashes, Harry on his chest, and James a body away. Cooking breakfast and having such an unattractive appearance didn't make him want it any more than he never had. But he could always write this off later in his story, maybe the epilogue?  Neville long bottom and Luna Lovegoods Happily ever after?

"James, I'm always trying to leave your presence; I still, for the most part, strongly dislike you."

"And I'm strongly in like with you."

Severus paused momentarily, "be that it may, its been only a day you have much to learn, young padawan." James looked on as Severus left the vicinity in wonder. The fuck was a padawan?

It took an hour to get as much food down Harry's throat before he and an annoying James were making their way down to his loft. Harry was going to be with him until five pm in which James would officially be home from desk work and available to spend time with his child. The rest of the week would follow similarly with getting Harry comfortable around James as he was with Severus. But that was a whole week of plans, and Severus never expected others to follow the routine. 

"I'm just saying; it would be easier if you just sleep over all week, in case Harry cries or something," James spoke, lounging on his door frame as he fiddled along with his keys. The author merely scoffed, "that's it; the point is to learn how to deal with it." 

Finally pushing his door open, he did a quick scope of his living quarters, noting its pristine nature. Maybe Evan didn't come home and stayed with whoever it was he claimed he would have. He walked in with James still following closely, and Harry was stumbling lightly where he was clutching at the bottom of Sev's pants leg. God, he needed to change and soak he thought of making his way to his bedroom. 

"I know, but it's just so hard," James whined. 

Hand on his doorknob Severus merely turned and stared sharply at James for what felt like the coldest minute of his life. "Are you done whining?" When James nodded, rolling his eyes in his arrogant fashion. Severus began to push his bedroom door open. "Good because-" Oh no, not another one. 

Closing his bedroom door gently, he turned and leaned heavily on it, rubbing his forehead in tiredness. Heaving a sigh, he abruptly knocked on his bedroom door before picking Harry up and making his way to the kitchen. 

"So, you're the friend he's staying with?" Remus started, awkwardness flaking him, but Severus didn't care for pleasantries. 

"Listen, Lupin; you can act like a shy dildo for as long as you want- But! You have defiled my bed...My bed! I sleep and spend my days there I put my face in those sheets.-" 

"I'm sorry, truly-"

"Stop trying to make idle conversation and think about where you're going to get my new 1,000 thread count black sheets from. Understood." 

"Crystal." The wolf muttered awkwardly, returning to glance at his cup. Evans' face was titled with a mock frown as he saw the gesture. "Oh, Sev, don't be hard on the lad. It was all my doing. Not everyone knows how anal you are about your sheets."

"¿Estaba hablando Contigo?' James perked up at the abrupt change of accent in the author's voice. Never let it be said that James' ability to garner new kinks every day lessened from his time at Hogwarts. Evans's eyes slit as he replied, "No." 

James watched, transfixed as the Slytherins sneered, upgraded from his time at Hogwarts to quite a pretty little evil smile. "Tal Vez." the Slytherin started, "Te hablaría Cuando decidieras no ser un Bastardo tacaño."

Remus looked over to James awkwardly, signing, "what did he say?" 

James sent a distressed back "I don't know" before sliding along the counter until he reached Severus. He oddly leaned over into his space before asking out the side of his mouth, "what did you say?"

Evan rolled his eyes from where he sat before answering himself. "He asked if he was talking to me and then said maybe he would when I decide not to be a cheap bastard. Which I resent because who the fuck else besides authors spend a shit ton of money on sheets? Why would I compromise my wealth for that!"

"You'd do it after staining someone else's sheets. Someone else's! Pure! Black! Sheets!"

James smirked, sending a wicked sign to his friend before continuing with a sly look, "Sev, I'll buy you the sheets-"

"Wait, he's Sev now?" Remus asked puzzledly. 

"No, the fuck I'm n-" Severus started before getting interrupted by a bubbly voice.

 "Fuk"

 "Harry, don't listen to me!'

Chapter Text

"Pa," a tiny voice mimicked from behind the building blocks little hands were clumsily gripping and throwing around.

"Dre" 

"Pa!" Severus smiled widely as he took some of the blocks tumbling down from Harry's tower into his hands. So far, teaching Harry Spanish was nothing more than impossible and levels harder than then getting him to repeat something in English that wasn't vaguely insulting to the public. But he was still only a year and a half and wouldn't develop speech beyond that for a while to come. 

"What a cute little child, you're sure he belongs to Potter?" 

"Yes, Cissa. He looks handsome, no? What a cute little handsome devil. Got the world ahead of him in those green eyes." 

"So does my Draco. I'm telling you he's going to push over whoever marries him. His spoiled-ness is already showing I fear we might have to arrange." She dramatized, taking a sip of her wine as she rearranged herself on the couch while Draco sat questioningly in her lap. 

Give it a while; he'll be stealing the building blocks right from under Harry.  

"Maybe you could set him up with little Harry here," Severus said jokingly, squeezing the boy's cheeks. Oh, he'd love to see James bust his head over his son being a Malfoy. But if Draco was at all like his father, but was gay, he would still get great pleasure from watching Lucius drink himself to bittersweet oblivion over siring a Potter. 

Narcissa shared the sentiment as she barked out a laugh. "He would drink our wealth to its last euro."

"Then, it's arranged."

"Definitely. Now come along; this is a personal night", Narcissa chided, sending Severus on his way a few minutes later. 

He's going to a bar tonight to relax and indulge himself. After picking up Harry from tired James, he had dropped him off for a much-needed playdate and sleepover with someone his age. He knew his friend could handle the load, and Lucius was far from the house. So, Severus imagined she'd let the boys be actual children and get dirty. Playing in the mud, cooking with the elves, drawing, slouching being that was a nasty child usually was. The woman loved seeing her child relaxed and refused to let the weight of pureblood drag his body down. Without a childhood, she feared Draco might turn into Lucius, high and snotty -she loved him dearly tho- or Sirius, a reckless rebellion who makes it their mission to spit on their family name.  

She couldn't say the same for other families but…. her son will actually like her.

Harry was in the safest hands apart from his, and he knows Harry will like it there even if his new "best friend" is a tiny, tiny, little bit spoiled beyond simple riches and fabrics. 

Severus, till now, to whenever decided to make the trek home to soak in his bathtub, was in the hands of a nice fruity drink. Which was clasped tightly in his hands, a fine young gentleman talked him up. I mean, he was cute, and all but that didn't mean he was attractive enough to expose his liquor to a possible or not possible spiking. But the way he kept a respectable distance even as Severus flirtatiously leaned into his was doing things for him. A nice fine respectable man and Severus's night was definitely looking up. 

"There's this book series, Neville Longbottom, right?" the man snorted out the name as he buzzed with energy. 

"Right, I've heard of it, I think it's quite overrated." the author said nonchalantly. 

"Right! Like no, that's a little rude. Kudos to the author. I know how amazing your mind has to be to come up with an entire world, let alone profit from it. Hell, I even own the first two books, I was in love with those books when they first came out." The man backtracked with a hint of admiration in his eye.

A little more and Severus was ready to get out of here and get coffee even though he already had a fair share of liquids. 

"But people take these things and overuse and overpopulate them. Like at first, you were a loser for reading the books, then your mainstream and weirdo for never reading it. I swear in a few years it's going to be annoying to talk about it." 

"I get your point-" Severus started before an arm rudely reached in the middle of them to get peanuts knocking his partners drink into their lap.

"Oh shit!"

Severus turned to stare rudely at the prick before stopping short and flaring with annoyance. "shit, sorry mate, all the other trays were savaged." 

"No, it's fine, Swear let me just get to the bathroom and clean this up, eh?" He said, waving off his attacker, smiling brightly at Severus in a way to say I'll be back. After his departure, Severus' smile dimmed and evaporated before taking into account the glaring James now in his place. 

 "The hell was that!" Severus demanded in a hiss amongst the buzz of the crowd. James glared back and answered back, hotly. "You mean the part where you were ready to get your throat ready for the night or the part where you were about to put it in motion even though you promised me a date." 

"I didn't promise you a date, we aren't together, and it's only been a bloody month since you picked up taking care of Harry part-time." he sneered, continuing. "You've been doing a bloody good job to make up for your shitty efforts thus far, but you still have ways to go and what I do in the meantime is what I do." 

"You can't expect me-"

"Please leave James."

"but -"

One look had James stomping off to who knows where before Severus slumped back into his seat. Five minutes rolled by as he waited for his talking buddy to return than 20, then Severus heaved a sigh and ordered one last drink to a ruined night. 

It didn't matter that George would return home that night with the limited knowledge that he went to get a swig after his shift. He stayed for two drinks before leaving and holding a conversation about Neville Longbottom with the cab driver. The headache he has from drinking in a hot, crowded bar and the confusion tingling the back of his mind is filled with a man shining a flashlight on him in the men's lou. To be honest, he's never felt so oblivious in his life. 

Chapter Text

"How did your date go, by the way?" 

Severus glowered from where he sat on the couch, writing in his notebook furiously as he battered and bruised Neville's love life. No one would've guessed Cho was a conniving backstabber that ultimately decimated his heart. Severus rolled his eyes before throwing the book beside him and turning in time to see baby Harry all cozied up in a sweater. 

"Better yet, how's little Harry," he said, staring as the little guy tiredly rubbed his eyes. He was fucking adorable for two shitty parents, but his parents were also extremely good looking. James chuckled, "Tired, he wanted to keep on the walk, but then he saw the slide. Didn't even know he'd be interested in that at his age." 

"Well, technically, he's an early walker and talker; he's growing faster now, it seems." the author-supplied looking at the inch difference and the more filled out child.

"It's the potions the Medic has him on; it turns out Lily wasn't getting the right set of proteins, and I wasn't doing any better of a job after." because months of neglect was surprisingly harmful. To James, it was such a small amount of time, and it had already greatly affected Harry's body. 

"Well, at least you're learning," Severus said, smiling up at the other. And it was true James, for the most part, turned around his act. Sure it's only for a little longer during the week with his work schedule, but he was actually listening to him and playing with him. He could recognize at moments when the other was too tired out and ready to snap or give up, but a simple slap to the back of his head made it better. 

Remus hadn't hung around long after they met again, and Evans went back home two days later. He still hasn't run across Sirius, thank fuck, but he knew James's time with him outside of work was dwindling down massively. Thank fuck for that too. The Slytherin never thought those two should be in a group together, much less best friends; they more or less feed off each other's horrible behavior. Although they each had their fair share of being an asshole, he always felt that James and Remus were better off. As a matter of fact, he was shocked that Sirius hadn't made his way to Azkaban by now. Some part of him was extremely biased and thought that Sirius would eventually end up killing James.

He spent enough time getting hexed by him to consider it a possibility. 

"He's birth week is coming up." 

Severus arched his eyebrow in confusion, scratch that he wasn't learning anything. "His birthdays in July, James."

"No, not that birthday. The week we found out lily was Pregnant. It's a weird thing we potters do." James thought it was quite stupid, but his family was rich enough, and he was spoiled enough not to think more of it. "It's to celebrate the mere blessing of first life. November 16th" 

"That's nice," Severus thought it was actually quite stupid, but cute? "what are we doing for it?" 

"Just regular cake and toys, I guess, I mean, that's what I did last time, but I ate the cake myself because I didn't know what the fuck to give him."

"Ok, I'll make the plans then, but for now, give me the little devil." 

"No, you haven't answered my question," Severus's smile dropped, and he answered with malice, "it went to shit, plus that was three days ago. Why do you care?" 

James frowned before taking a seat next to Severus, quietly passing over Harry. He rearranged himself to face the too." I care about you and everything you do. You've been a beacon and a savior I admittedly didn't think I needed; whether he was an ass or not, I would've cared about it." he said patting Severus's knee to lighten the mood a little. "Good thing I dunked on him, eh?" Severus let out a chuckle despite all efforts; he truly was glad the ass got a soaked pair of sticky pants if not Severus hunting him down to the ends of the earth. Severus admittedly hadn't had a stellar emotional restriction when it came to his love life, and that may or may not be why he doesn't even give dating a chance.

"Thank you, James. You're actually becoming a person."

"Oh, you just had to ruin it."

"I bet I did; now remove your hand from my thigh." 

The other rolled his eyes before squeezing one last time and removing it. He wasn't particularly happy as he relayed the rest of his time with Harry today. He guessed he underestimated Severus because that conversation went entirely from the plan. He expected Severus to at least cry on him or hug him & merlin forbid that James is even allowed a moment in which Severus realizes that dating him wouldn't be so bad. But it was getting better. At least they were actually becoming some sort of friends. It's not like James hated that ether; he really enjoyed talking and playing the little games with the other. He was intelligent and cunning, and James is wondering if he's developing a Slytherin kink. 

He wonders if he can convince Severus to dawn his clothes- But it's not like he only wants sex from Severus. He's seeing a life played out much like one he would've had with Lily if she was half the person she acted like she was in school. Severus actually wants to be in Harry's life, do good by him, and care for both him and harry. Even if it's not hands-on, he's obviously invested in James's health enough to care.

He speaks out and is a far better teacher than most caregivers. Every bit of a perfect pureblooded wife is thickened and liberal enough to where he isn't a meek, submissive pushover. The only change he would have to make is his tapestry, and Severus potter, although unconventional, has an odd ring to it.

"Sound good?" Severus asked after rehashing a basic plan list. 

James' eyes were deemed lowly before nodding. "Sounds perfect."

Chapter Text

“So Neville?”

“Isn’t based on you”, offended James argued. “I wasn’t gonna say that it just seems like he’s a lot more Gryffindor than anyone else you could possibly know. I just KNOW he is despite you denying it every time I ask”

“And” Severus laughed. “Why were you even interested in him, that book came out years ago? Trying to impress me?” Severus ended with an air to his voice. “No, it's just” but with a flick of his hand Sev interrupted. “-Save it, hand him over, and be on your way.”

“Why are you in such a rush anyway?'' James questioned, jutting out his chin slightly. He didn’t very much like this mood Severus has been sporting since Tuesday. So happy, gay, excentric, nice among other things. It wasn’t like Potter often complained about seeing Severus smile and doing well nowadays, it's just why was he doing it without him?

Severus picking up on the ‘I once stalked your private files’ attitude tilted his head at James “Harry's birth week if in two days we still need to pick up the rest of the supplies. Why are you jealous of Harry now”

Oh and there it was the weight of being fucking dumb.

“No I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that-” Severus huffed, rolling his eyes before interrupting once more. “Yes you did James, and it’ll be wise to not do it again. Believe it or not, I really do wish that someday we might actually work. I've already ignored several fits and intrusions by you and I'm running out quickly. I’m happy that you're getting your head out of your ass, but I wish you would get it out of mine.”

James had tried to lighten the mood before it got to another fight, questioned jokingly. “So you're proud of me?”

“No, I'm happy for you. I can’t be proud of what should have been already.”They stood there for a moment gazing at each other before Harry shuffled, wishing to be put down.

“Fuck Severus I’m sorry”

“I know… you aren’t the first spoiled child I’ve come in contact with who’s never had anyone tell them how to be an adult but you're doing better, slowly but we can’t really speed up the process if you're not going through a huge arc because a family member died, or you ending up broke, near-death experience,-”

“I'm sorry, what are we talking about?”

“Life-changing Tropes,” Snape said like it was obvious.“it when a spoiled, rude or important VIP character has something abrupt happen in their life and they go through a series of changes in a small amount of time that makes them into a more understanding good person.”One would think it would be parenthood, but Severus knew first hand that some people never change - even if they now have to account for another; James is exactly where most parents are on the spectrum.

“But back to the task at hand, this little soiree you got going for Harry has roped me in. Mi Rey deserves the world.”

"Me ray?" James pondered.

"It means my king," Severus cooed, poking at Harry's cheek fat. "But besides that, I already have a little list put together for guests"

James curled his eyebrow dramatically, "Guest, is this going to be a whole party?"

Severus merely shrugged "No but little Harry needs to start making friends now so he has a good standing once he starts school, yes? So I was thinking Draconis, and I ran into Molly the other day when I was getting some nappies, did you know she has a troublemaker too, and then there's Blaise and little luna-" Severus was too caught up he started mapping out the apartment and things to move and where would be the most practical to put the kids while keeping them from danger. He didn't quite notice the pure horror radiating from Potter as he listened on.

"Wait-," James interrupted, "you want an army of little kids running around me flat?!" Severus stopped as he slowly turned from where he was trying to move the couch single-handedly.

Severus deflated as if the loss of his excitement left his bones cold. "Well, I really hoped you'd be ok with it…"

And this was the moment James realized one fundamental truth of the elusive Severus Tobias Snape… he was a conniving slithering bitch. Potter's jaw tightened considerably as he gritted out "Oh no Sev it's no big deal at all..."

Severus’s smile brightened as he pushed a cup into James' hands. "Your sure this is not a problem," He yelled over the little squeals and screams of the children running amok.

"like I said it's no problem at all, this is for Harry," James said. But in his mind, he was cursing him to hell and back and the parents for not suddenly canceling because one of their snot rags had the measles.

"Good, because even if you had said no" the dark-haired male leaned closer to whisper in James' ear."I would've still done it anyway & forced you into a clown outfit. But luckily for you, Harry doesn't seem quite fond of clowns"

James smirked before throwing an arm around the younger's waist and dragging him just a bit closer. "are we really talking about what we want to stuff the other in-?"

"Shame!" Molly gasped, hitting James's arm with a towel. "Not in front of the children, have some manners, James."

"My bad Molly," James smiled, letting his arms fall as Severus hurried backward.

"Hmmph," She mumbled grabbing Severus and dragging him along to the kitchen with a flurry of questions. James glared at her back as he angrily bit into a red-colored cupcake. If James was a killer Molly would be the first to go, and Arthur's such a pushover he'd probably help bury the body.

"I'm sorry bout Molly, she's a little sprung right now. With Ginny," Arthur mused standing alongside James.

"Yay another? You could barely afford Bill!" That is what James wanted to say but Severus was still in earshot. Snape always went on and on about how he was a bad father while the Weasleys' had more kids than the pennies in their bank account.

"Good on you mate" He settled clapping a hand against Arthur's shoulder. Arthur's smile widened, as he took a giddy sip from his drink. “Thanks been getting a lot of unexpected backlash on the ordeal...” he mumbled dejectedly. James paused at the words ”from who?”

“It just Sirus made a joke the other day about arresting us for child abuse, said we probably wash our kids in leftover soup water, sure we don’t have a lot but I never leave my kids hungry or cold.” Arthur seemed a little peeved before quietly releasing an angry rant about it, “Molly even has an in-home bakeshop where she sells her cupcakes to muggles and we’ve been good coins from it...”

James hummed, almost impressed by Arthur's fury. “First rule mate: don’t listen to a word Sirius says. When he got cut off his things were coming out of my parent's vault. Quite frankly after we graduated Sirius wanted to just ‘chill and live large’ but he also wanted to move out with me and I wasn’t about to fund something I couldn't even get a little fun out of.”

Arthur blushed. “Do you get fun out of Severus?”

James shook his head, “Severus has his own funds, but once he gets tired of meeting other people’s deadlines, I’ll be here.”

Chapter Text

It's all so wonderful.

James didn't quite know how it had come to this but all he could do was watch in amazement as the moment passed by.

He could hear the laughter in the background as everyone paraded around the flat, sparklers in the more trusting hands as babbled speech thickened the air. The lights were off and the only illumination came from the cake and those sparklers alight as the adult tried their hand at the Happy Birthday song. James knew it must've been hilarious watching people like Narcissa stumbling along the lyrics as she wrestled with the greedy monster in her arms, eyes crazed with the illumination of the cake. He almost wanted to take time to wince as Molly proudly sang higher than everyone else or how Frank in an act of solidarity joined her. All of it must've been a riot but his eyes couldn't help but focused in on the two next to him.

They had all gathered at the coffee table hunched down and buckling their knees so all the kids would at least be on the same level. Confetti stuck to slacks and Pandora who wasn't quite so lucky ended up wetting her dress and what she would hope later was just a juice spill. Even now, at this moment James could only breathe in the chubby face of his spawn, laughing, spitting, and babbling any word he knew at all the attention. Severus had stuck some sort of dunce hat paper on everyone's head while they were too active with socializing and it made the moment even more precious. But even then as James looked up from Harry's face, he was seized again as the candles illuminated the height of the other's face and shone dully in his teeth as he laughed.

He felt as if he was moving too fast for the world to keep up as he watched each second pass.

He had imagined this, dream and wrote about it often in his youth. He'd have Lilly, a child, a family, something more to love. And he had it, he had it now, yet it merely served as a bitter ache in his head.

James expressed this the other day as Severus went about healing the wound he acquired on a house call. "Every time I'm with you; I feel like I'm drowning."

Severus, although amused, didn't pause his demonstrations humming along. "Why's that?"

The other merely shrugged, releasing an audible sigh, "I don't know." But he did and he both long for and hated the feeling.

James was the perfect child, the lone child born from two over-age war veterans. He was a miracle child and cherished above anything else. He had, wanted, needed, and demanded everything and he got each one. He placed time into his crafts, got his way, and charmed most of his earnings but he never had to put in the effort.

Despite how much Lily would satirize and deny it on one of more happier nights she required no effort. Persuading her was about as easy as getting any other girlfriend. But pushing Snivellus away took a great deal James wasn't fond of putting his time into. In spite of that, he had loved Lily and her him but as he wasted in his own alcoholic filth after their parting he realized they were never made to last. Their relationship was ridiculously easy and broke just as easily.

James is mad he ever invested his time into her just for it all to come crumbling down. But James knows it's his own fault he's the one that pushed. And on one of his better days of being friends with Severus, he even put an effort to express this in a letter.

Under the quidditch mags on his desk, there sat a pretty and crisped envelope. It held likely one of the only apologies James had ever had to write and detailed his grief and shame in himself for even letting lily go through what she did. As one would expect, they had called it quits and even though James knew the apology may be wanted or consoled he didn't want to be a part of her life anymore nor have her in his.

But still, he would have never even written it if Severus wasn't nagging his head off about learning how to give a fuck about everyone around him.

In doing so he even feels as if everything that makes him James is slipping away, he honestly couldn't remember the last time he had even taken up Sirius's offer on an after-work drink that wasn't with the whole sector. Even started clenching his jaw as if everything Sirius had to declare about it was an erk he couldn't get rid of. Remus ever the peacemaker even came out of seclusion to knock on his door after Sirius went griping about him.

All James ever does now is attend to Harry, poke at Severus, and work his ass off. At first, he was fine with his desk jockey job, not too much effort, a scheduled shift that ended just in time to hit the bar but started just after the worse of his hangover hit. It was easy, and he enjoyed doing it with Sirius but then he started to put in the effort. Had to be done in enough time to get back home to watch Severus, had to be done in time because Harry was back on a sleep schedule that had them both fussy in the morning. He detested the work, the pacing, the effort. It felt suffocating and even more so when his officer sat him down and decided that his quarter report was looking much better than the ones before. He showed up on time came looking clean and taken care of in comparison to accomplice value in his work over his accomplice. He was allowed out on calls and didn’t have to sit at a desk all day, he was finally starting to feel like an Auror. But it all took effort.

Everything was going lovely, but the feeling of work and the weight of all made it feel like every time he breathed he was breathing in water. It all was quite overwhelming and heated his skin with panic.

And James was jealous he knew how much time and effort was placed into Harry, how easily it comes to him. He picked back up on his book & managed to squeeze two chapters out of the five overdue: he still had time for Harry and established even more time for James' nonsense. He put in effort for anyone that asked, and it just fed James irrational jealousy of it.

He wishes he could bring the other down to his level and make him feel like he was drowning. Every so often James thinks he'd gone mad from it, sitting in his own flat wondering when Severus would come through the door as if they lived together. It's unfair how easily Snape breathes and how relaxed he is in James' presence. It feels like Severus's grip on his throat just gets tighter and he wants to grip back. Wants him to go crazy and drown in his own jealousy because at least they'd be mad together.

He imagines how easy it would be to drive Severus mad. Getting him just as addicted to James's own love, his words, his hands. He knew with effort he could accomplish one of the few things that mattered to him now. But instead, he withholds his hands to himself bites his tongue, and drowns as the blood strangles him further.

"Hmm," the other had mumbled, patting the bandage lightly. " Well, I'll take it as an ominous compliment."

James- ever the social bee contained his patience for a few hours more and a little past the cake slicing before he had made a few select comments and movements regarding how tired he was. A tedious day ahead of him being an Auror and all.

By then of course several had already left, Narcissa dragging along Draco once the cake was presented because he possessed a terrible sweet tooth. Dreadfully it was the Weasleys-Molly, in particular, coming up with any and everything she could squeeze into the conversation. They didn't get out much, much less a mother of six who lived and breathed dish soap. The way she was clinging to the party showed how much she would rather be doing anything else than the abrupt return to her home.

But she was never a friend of James so he could care less about her struggles. So he had smiled politely as she stood at the floo and yawned dramatically every time her goodbye broke into a tangent. Severus glared every time but James felt that being the flat owner imposed him the right to decide when guests were unwelcome. It was only Arthur's intuition that dragged her back the rest of the way into the fireplace, smiling politely and thanking them for the invite.

When they were gone and it was only Severus and him."That was rude-"

"Can we finish his gifts? James interrupted. "I wasn't lying I am terribly tired."

Snape eyed him before nodding along "Sure."

The only gifts left to be unpacked were that of Severus and James on the tiny coffee table. Harry, who was, was running around dramatically in the background playing tag with himself quickly tripped in an attempt to get over once he saw Severus lower himself enough to be attacked. James quickly hid his snort watching as Harry face-planted but watched on as Severus' shoulders began to slightly shake as Harry bounced himself back up on his feet.

"You laugh at children falling?"

Severus gazed up from where Harry currently had his cheeks wrapped up in sticky dirty fingers confetti sticking to the tips where had pushed himself off of the ground. "I laugh at anyone falling." He answered sticking out his hand for James's cup.

James chuckled handing his glass over to Severus. "Your evil you recognize that?"

"Mm," the other feigned." Oh, yeah, I'm aware" he shrugged tipping back the rest of James' glass before setting it on one of the counters.

The Gryffindor quirked a brow "you know Seamus left his glass full?"

"Yes, but Seamus also used to go around kissing everyone in school so excuse me for not trusting where his lips have been," Severus answered plopping onto the couch motioning to the stray presents. "Well grab em' Mr sandman."

Definitely drowning.

Chapter Text

“A toy” the man deadpanned staring incredulously at the stationary piece a silk price tag lining the girth.

The other laughed mischievous eyes glinting from her teacup, “nice craft isn’t it?”Narcissa examined setting the glass on the table as the other worked his jaw into a cramp. It was at leisure something she had subtly ordered and promptly delivered a month prior after one of her more stressing letters from Severus.

In short, Severus was suffering a very, very, very hard time. A worsening problem of which he politely expressed under no circumstances existed anywhere else until he stepped foot back into London. “It’s not like I’m choking for it” he harshly grunted throwing his purified clay into his cauldron as he helped Narcissa in their dungeon. But he was indeed “choking” for it.

George was amazing and talking the night away with him had given the author a chance to relax for the first time since he got here. But George had a flaking problem and left Severus sitting there with a half-dried table and both of their tabs.

There was Edward, a nice-toned man, he had met once walking along the streets of muggle London. They got a cafe, and he was sure they’d make it back to his place but soon after their cake and tea, the man experienced horrible bowel symptoms. The black-haired male kindly made his escape after the third interruption to their conversation.

Harry was a nice older wizard with at least a payable job. Harry though cut their conversation short when Severus mentioned which house he had been in.

In addition, there was Sam he wasn’t conventional, but he was funny and awkward. Severus willingly met him once or twice when he was free from Harry and James was allegedly working. The third time when he was certain he would at least get to see the inside of the man's apartment Sam upchucked everything they had that night right onto him. Severus was less than impressed as he flicked the stray throw-up from his lip and returned home smelly and frustrated to grate the rest from his skin.

Jason was conversational but the moment their drinks were served he became even more so. During the night he got more and more truthful to the point where Severus's eyes began to bulge from his skull. It was like his drink was dosed with veritaserum but Severus believed he was just a very weak lightweight.

Far-er and between did Severus's nights out became as he shook off dating altogether. He had enough of the world torturing him and enough of London sabotaging him. So really he couldn’t be blamed as he became more and more frayed at the hair and touchy. James even made an off-handed joke about it when Severus had snapped at him by popping his spine in a loud and annoying way.

Narcissa, however, wouldn’t suffer his moods. She often rolled her eyes and scoffed at him anytime he even so much veered into sex or rants. Sometimes going as far to inquiries after James telling the other to just ride him out and get it over with. But Severus always brushed it off, he couldn’t do that James was doing amazing, he had a new job and was being a far better father now than what was even considered normal. He had so little faith in him, however, often fearing that if he did give James a chance what would happen after would all this stop?

It kept him up most nights staring at the ceiling imagining stars moving across it, or in his own tub wondering how James would pick back up his habits.

He had tried for a conversation like this with the other once but would always back himself out of it. Of course, Severus knows he’s putting too much doubt on him so much so he even feels shame doing so. Potter would even speak up and put his fears to rest on his own through off-handed comments and jeers. He would talk about work how he loves the field and all the new benefits he gets from it. How, Sirius is immature, brash, and is back on suspension for skipping out of work. Even sometimes stating how he too feels a little on edge since he too hasn’t gotten laid, “but I’m fine with it, I’d feel terrible leaving you here with Harry just chase after some legs.” Sometimes Severus hated himself for feelings that statement cut from him. Embarrassed more so when he foolishly relayed to Narcissa how James was just as stag as he. Remember's her peering at him questioningly musing on just how he knew that?

But Severus shouldn't even be happy with the development, trying to stick it off as sick vengeance, since he wasn’t getting any neither should James. He had a child he needed to just stick to the one he didn’t need sex. Still, Severus felt more excited over the fact that James hadn’t done so due to stray thoughts of him.

Hideously he even felt himself getting jealous more often than not, outside of the rare cases of James making a pass or touch at him they even started to die out from where they had started. Severus sometimes wondered if James still even had feelings for him.

On one of his more lonelier nights, Severus would even let his hands wander with his mind. James was after all attractive, tone as he was fit. Tall even matching Severus’s own height something he appreciated greatly. James' hands were warm, and his smile was straight and charming. He wondered why he allowed the other to say anything towards him all those years when the other's hair was a literal rat's nest. The last prick he saw outside of a diaper and potty training was the oldest Potter and although it had been more than almost a year ago the image was still fresh in his mind. He replayed the image over and over envisioning if the laxness was a blueprint or if it was hiding more.

And shit he’s fucking choking for it.

But a toy was definitely something that had never crossed Severus's mind. “Are you mad?”

“Hmph,” Narcissa scoffed, “no not merely as much as your tales make me.”

Severus shook his head beginning to lift the wooden chest from his lap, “Narcissa this is-”

“This,” Narcissa stressed, “is your saving grace, least I write James myself”

Chapter Text

"Shit!" A cracked voice shouted from the kitchen as the soft pats floated through the air as the trash landed. "Severus!...Severus?!" The hoarse voice yelled, cracking on itself.

Snape heaved an audible sigh from where he labored over Harry in the bathtub, already soaked and missing a few hairs from when Harry slipped. Suffice to say whatever minor complaint James thought to bring to his door was already making his eye twitch. “Severus!!”

He was even worse for wear these days; his deadlines have cramped his fingers and Harry has made it impossible for him to bend over without his back popping. He looked more like a Smeagol these days and the haunting reminder of what he looked like in school. Still, Severus felt as if he looked like he could at least step outside. He got up, combed a nice pile out of his hair, brushed his teeth, nourished his skin, and even took time for a shave. Sure on the inside he was dead beyond comparison but on the outside, he just looked semi-crazy which was just as fine with him. These days stepping out of his apartment meant his neighbors avoided him, and he was less cruel about the unfortunate state he dressed in.

Nonetheless, he imagines he made quite the mental image when James slid into the doorway with a crazed look in his eyes clutching at a moving object. "You know there's a prick in your bin?!"

"No there's not, there's one in your hand though" he shrugged, turning back to Harry to resume helping him pile together the purple bubbles.

"What-" James started letting frustration bleed into his shrill voice, "Wait, no this!- This was in your bin! I found this there and- and-" he huffed running a hand through his hair, "bloody hell, just work with me alright"

"What is there to work with," Severus heaved turning back to face him before a sultry smile spread across his unique features, "well I mean, obviously something, you're holding a dick in your hands-"

"OK stop," James instructed. "Why is there a toy sitting in your basket?" he interrogated, wielding it pointedly in Severus’s direction.

"It was a gift I'm not in need of" As flippant as it was, it was true. He got home, unboxed it, and stared at it for a moment longer before chucking it into the waste bin. He wasn't interested in learning its features or feeling it out because it hadn't mattered. Severus rather die of the blues than use a toy that Narcissa knew he was using.

James' brow furrowed sharper, “Someone gifted you this?”

“Narcissa has a complex in “fixing” me, and I simply wasn’t in the mood,” he shrugged, using his thumbs to smooth away the bubbles near Harry's eyes.

“Hmph,” James started pursing his lips as he glared questioningly at the thing.“Well, I can’t swear my feelings weren’t hurt a toy got first dibs.”

Severus snorted disbelieving, “I’m soaked head to toe because you and Harry wanted to throw around flour,” he started in a cold remark turning his glare to the other, “and you trying to get a pass”

“First Harry started it, ok- Second I just encountered a cock between your last draft and a mini bottle of rum- mind me please” James exasperated his rolling his eyes into his turn as he left the lou.

The other merely turned back to the waiting boy before sighing dramatically, “can you believe it Harry, a prick holding a prick.” he huffed snorting to himself at his own jokes watching as Harry hesitantly joined in reacting more to the smile of Severus’s face then the words at hand.

“Now come on let's get you out, yeah?”

But really if there was one thing Severus had found about this whole ordeal that he definitely hadn't liked, was Harry developing quite an aggressive personality. And there was no other way to describe it but Harry being a Bastard.

Harry thinks it funny to wiggle out of people's ass-naked, -be it him or James- arms in the middle of dressing and quickly make his way to the smallest corner of the room and squeeze himself there as they try to bring him out. Even worse, his magical core is developing quite quickly… horrifyingly soo. Concerning the last time, his bum was powered Severus found himself looking up at a powder bottle before it tilted and dumped its contents on him. Harry shrieks and giggles in delight as Severus blows puff clouds over him. Often starting wars with the two in fits of boredom throwing objects and babbling at them in mimics whenever they speak. Even going as far as to put a hand on his waist and jut his hip out awkwardly to talk back to James he stood over him in a similar fashion.

And Harry now knows that personal space is optional- to him.

Oftentimes latching onto Severus’s leg as he walks about his apartment even refusing to let go when Severus finds himself face to face with the toilet. James now often finds Harry sprawled across his back in the morning all the way to Harry worming his way underneath his shirt when they sit down on the couch for breakfast.

Severus loved Harry but with each passing day, he found himself wanting more than to choke the little brat. And by the evil cunning smiles, Harry gave him whenever such moods arrived Servures got the cold sense that Harry was practically taunting him to Try.

“I think My son's evil” James groaned from his position on the couch, tucked out and dressed only in a spare towel around his waist from Severus’s closet. He spent the last hour on his knees and feet dusting around Severus's kitchen cleaning up lost eggshells and stains from the walls.

“How so,” Severus asked eyes flickering up from his notepad every once in a while to track where and what Harry was doing with his toys.

“Well between him throwing eggs and flour at me” James started, “I could’ve sworn I heard something make contact with the wall that sounded much heavier.” The snake's brows furrowed at this quirk as he turned to look at the Auror in interest. “But as I was cleaning, I saw a dent in the wall, easy fix- but below it was a corkscrew.”

Servurus eyes widened as they both turned to look at the seemingly innocent boy before a smile took over his features. “Well as Albus used to say, Boys will be boys”

Chapter Text

"Terrible twos" James muttered scanning the Popping witch mom magazine with keen eyes as he rocked on the hind legs of his chair. Every word stretched across the pages sank like a stone in James’s stomach. Every picture of the testament to raising a magical baby was even worse. The whole room was decimated, walls inside out the floor overtaken with what used to be the ceiling. Even a lovely segment named “How to cope with the fact that your child is now Salazar spawn”

"See-" Sirius bit. James turned his eyes up to stare at the dog in annoyance before returning to the extensive pages of how to cope with the fact that your child is now a Salazar spawn.

“You’ve turned into a total tosser” He interrupted once more by clasping the top of the Mag and pushing it down in annoyance. The action caused the chair to drop down on all fours, a clatter ignored in the busy room.

James's eyes met him in a deathly gaze as he pulled the magazine from the other's fist. In a fit of annoyance, Sirius tried to fight him for it. “I’m sure I have” Potter started pulling the article roughly, rolling into his fist and ascending from his chair grabbing at the hanging robe.“Now if you’d excuse me, I have someone to see.”

“What the chief likes his dick sucked twice a day?”

“Come off it” James hissed walking in rough steps around Sirius’s displaced chair.

“This is about Snape isn't it” James stopped short, turning to look at the other in obvious question- the way he chewed his tongue gave away his annoyance.“You know Remus doesn’t much like him either.”

“Ya, Sirius?” They gnarled, stepping forward in a faux whisper. “You’d know all about who he doesn’t like, yeah. Tell me. Are the three people you cheated on him with on that list too? I assume not since he drags himself around to your wants -despite your unfortunate break up- which makes me think he can get over them I guarantee you, Sirius,” James hissed. “He’ll get over Severus.”

“Well he was never a bad guy from what I gathered” Arthur shrugged picking over some Health nonsense Molly packed away for him.

“Doesn’t matter now that’ll pitch him off for a week before he comes knocking on my door again- now tell me” James averted.“What does it mean when your son tries to assassinate you.”

A flash of shock overtook Arthurs's features before his face started breaking out in an uncontained laugh. “you know if you would’ve asked me after Bill or Percy-Even Charlie I’d haven't the slightest idea of what you're getting at, but unfortunately for us, Molly had the twins.”

Twins…It was announced in such an ominous way James could swear a cold breeze ran across the room and the lights dimmed in fear. Now James can’t even begin to act like he can identify every kid Arthur has ever had, barely recounting anyone besides Bill from how much overtime Arthur had to take running into everyone at the office and practically dead on his feet. But they all remembered the… Twins.

Little hellspawn they were. Running around the ministry, putting tacks in people's seats, a toilet exploding on some desk clerk in financing. And then some real evil shit that rivaled Sirius's unfortunate run-in Hogwarts-so he says since he found himself the victim of it. To this day only a handful of people know what happened to him, Mooney and James not being on the list.

‘Well,” Arther started picking at his brain as his thumb made taps at his skull.“A therapist once told us They merely need some guidance from the favorite parent-unfortunately that was neither me or Molly since they’re each other's favorite” he ended with a laugh.

James sighed hand dragging down his face in frustration “He already spends the whole week with Severus, and it only seems to be getting worse.”

Arthur's brows furrowed at that daring not to correct James's assumption of the favorite Parent.

Reasonably Harry does know Severus isn’t his parent- at least he should. Children are very intuitive about most things when they want to be and it would be possible that Harry had picked up on Severus's arrangement within his life. Of course, unless he knows but is still strung on Severus for other reasons technically it is possible. For all one knows Harry may be pushing Severus away and retaliating against James due to his dislike. But that was nearly impossible because from what he had witnessed and heard from James, the kid, practically adores him.

But then why revolt against James if not to make Severus leave? But if he's revolting so strongly against James when Severus is around maybe it's the other way around. Not to say it could be but James always had a.... concerning habit or less than funny pranks in school. Even as Severus left school they had shifted their attention to an array of poorer families. Especially when compared with his gang they could get practically lethal. But Arthur understands that Remus had no say in that night as much as James did. Still James had followed through with Siruis's more darker pranks anyway. 

“um”. Arthur gulped, “You aren’t hurting Severus, are you? Or better worded being mean to him yeah?” he started refusing to look up into his lunch partner's eyes.“it's just some children can pick up on it and tend to insert themselves to protect the other.”

“No, I'm not hurting Severus.” 

Arthur didn’t dig deeper but the thought that Harry may be picking up on his presence in the shadows was a thought to come back across later. “But truly I wouldn’t be surprised if the little bastard had a crush on him, but he treats Severus just as shitty as well- except none of his pranks end in an untimely death.”

Happy to be moving on, Arthur laughed along. “Well harmless crushes he’ll get over it, I used to have eyes for my babysitter too.”

“Yeah, but he revels in it like when we're alone he’ll treat me like I hung the star and will make sure he’s always in my line of sight. But the moment Severus shows up or it's drop-off time he’ll turn into some-some gremlin and then all of a sudden I’m enemy number one - I mean last Saturday he threw a corkscrew at me head?!”

Arthur's eyes took a haunted look “Fred threw a cheese knife at mine.”

“Exactly and I mean I can’t bring it up to Severus 'cause he either laughs or thinks I’m jealous of my own son- and sure I am - but that's only because he is trying to get me out of the picture.”

“Oh - well maybe just needs a friend, someone else to focus his attention on, a stuffy perhaps?”

“The stuffy he did have showed up without its body in my bed the day after.”

“Merlin, are you sure he’s only two?”