Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Angels convertible sped up the lonely highway at a dangerous clip. For a vampire who usually took his own sweet time for almost any activity his driving bordered on manic. He was clearly a vampire on a mission.
“I remember that Giles had another translation of the Nyazian Scrolls. If the old bastard won’t lend it to us I’ll just get Buffy to get it for me. Tell her the truth… it’s apocalyptic so they should let us have it. Gotta find out what the Tro-Clon really means. Not going to let anyone threaten my son.” He drifted off in wonder as he did each time he thought about the improbable miracle that Darla was carrying.
Darla, herself, was a miracle. Back from the dust and fully human only to be turned once again, this time by Dru. He didn’t know whether to thank Wolfram and Hart or destroy them for this conceit.
He thought back to the night the child was conceived. It was one of the lowest points in his entire souled existence and that included those few years living in alleys and eating rats. Battle after battle and still the evil came. It was like he was looking at an endless line of useless fights, ‘to what end?’
He’d nearly lost his team thanks to that depression. They’d not approved of his letting Dru and the newly turned Darla dine on the room filled with W & H’s finest. Angel had seen it as just another way of stamping out evil even if that evil happened to be human.
Holland had shown him that the battle was futile at best. Angel had seen that the “home office” of the Senior Partners was Earth itself and that humanity was its own worst enemy. It was hard to continue championing the helpless when so often they were asking for what they got.
“So damned tired of it all. All the guilt and pressure,” he let himself go off on a comfortable brood. “None of them really has a clue just how hard it is to keep fighting the same fight over and over with nothing gained.”
He’d slept with Darla deliberately, both of them fully expecting him to be rid of the chains weighing him down thanks to the vengeful gypsy curse come morning.
The cursed soul had forced him to give up so much! All the freedom and pleasures he’d enjoyed even before being turned. ‘Face it, even Liam wasn’t an altar boy.’ It forced him into a life that … wasn’t.
He wasn’t a vampire any longer, not really, but he sure wasn’t a human either. He shuddered at the thought.
The out clause to the curse had even cost him his sweet, innocent Buffy!
“It’s the dreams,” he decided. All those dreams of murder and mayhem he had every time he slept. He felt alive! He felt happy! He felt fulfilled as his demon cavorted through the dreamscape piling up bodies and indulging every whim. Then he’d waken and the damning curse would kick in and fill him with revulsion and guilt.
His son! A reward for all his suffering, just like Buffy was going to be one day. Nothing and nobody was going to cheat him of that.
“Whatever this Tro-Clon part of the prophecy is, I won’t let W&H or a bunch of demons take what’s mine!” Angel set his jaw in determination. Wes had figured out that the passage was about a confluence of events and this birth of his miracle son would only be one part of those events. The child itself wasn’t the cause for either the ruination or purification of mankind and Wes wasn’t even certain of which translated word applied to the prophecy at any rate.
In trying to win life for Darla, Angel had received this coming baby as his reward and he had suffered the trials to pay that price. Darla would live, through their son.
“The boy is mine! The Powers won’t let their Champion lose the one good thing to happen to me in… ever! I won’t let them!” Surely the translation in Giles’ library would flesh out what information they had and help them to protect the unborn child.
Wes had been the one to put the idea in his head. He’d pointed out that others seemed to know far more about the child’s importance than they did. The vampires who had come to worship the child and the team from W&H who were ready to take it upon birth were only two factions they had fought off. The rumors were spreading in the demon community and there was interest in the baby that bordered on the fanatical.
They had already scoured the scroll they had there for answers but there had to be more elsewhere and Rupert’s arcane library was the likely place to start the search.
He increased his speed as his car ate up the empty highway. He had time, even if it was limited. Darla had only begun to show signs of labor and Sunnydale was only a couple of hours from LA.
***
Spike followed Buffy like a faithful but confused hound. “Can we talk?”
Buffy had zero desire to talk about the recent events that had caused her to expose far more about her time in heaven and her current state of mind. She had talked to Spike about both before the dancing demon had ruined everything. Talking about why she had chased after him and kissed him though, was one topic that she had NO interest in exploring. “Vocal-cord-wise? Yes. With each other? No.” The very last thing she wanted was to let the vampire any closer than she already had. He knew her too well and she was fighting just to make it through one more day without complicating things with his issues.
Spike wasn’t giving up though, not when that kiss had revealed so much more than he had ever been expecting from Buffy. “We have to talk.” How was he supposed to know what it meant if the girl wouldn’t talk about it? “We kissed, Buffy.”
Buffy stopped walking and sighed deeply. “So?” She quickly tried to blame it on the spell that left everyone’s dark secrets exposed and raw. “I will never kiss you, Spike. Never touch you ever, ever, again,” she vowed.
Spike could hear her desperately trying to rebuild the wall that had started a slow crumble with that kiss… hell really started with all her friendly visits since her return from heaven.
He would have to find a way to prove to Buffy that he had changed… okay, was changing. That he was more than just a monster who was useful from time to time. He couldn’t let her put him and his feelings in some box then lock it up somewhere. They had something, he felt it.
Then came a flying stake, a literal land shark, and his vampire thugs, to remind the girl all over again that Spike was first and foremost a demon. ‘Just my bloody luck!’
Still, Buffy’s throwing him to the ground to protect him from the stake had been encouraging. She may not be willing to see him as proper boyfriend material but at least she no longer wanted to see him dust. Spike grinned as he watched Buffy do verbal battle with the demons there to collect their Persians. She cared, he just knew it! Now he just had to get her to see and admit it too.
Discretion being the better part of valor encouraged Spike to take the opening that Buffy’s interference had lent him and get away from those intent on getting their pound of flesh. He fled.
***
The dejected Scoobies had been talking about the revelation that they hadn’t so much saved Buffy as kidnapped her from heaven itself. None of them really regretted that their friend was back among the living but they now understood why she was less than grateful.
“I can fix it!” Willow insisted. “I know a spell.”
Tara looked at her girlfriend in horror. “NO! No more magic, Willow. That’s not the purpose of magic anyway. There is no fixing this. We have to let Buffy re-adjust at her own pace. We need to be supportive and let her tell us what she needs.”
“This isn’t something that’s gonna be fixed by hot chocolate and movie nights. I know I messed up, okay and I want to fix it and I can.”
Tara was aghast. “I can’t believe that we’re talking about this again. You know how powerful magic is, how dangerous. You could hurt someone… you could hurt yourself.”
Willow had on her resolve face. “I know a spell that will make her forget she was ever in heaven.”
Tara threw up her hands in exasperation. “God, what is wrong with you?”
Anya squirmed as the Wiccans squared off in an unusual fight. Tara had rarely taken Willow to task on anything! She glanced at Xander and gave a jerk of her head towards the door.
“Yeah, I’m gonna go get that phone you probably don’t hear,” he edged out the door with Anya on his heels.
Tara and Willow didn’t even notice. They were already mid-fight as Tara let Willow know that she already knew that Willow had used the spell in question on her once before and didn’t like it one bit.
“You violated my mind! How could you, Willow? After what Glory did to me, my family too… how could you?”
“I didn’t violate you, sweetie,” Willow whined placatingly. “I just wanted us not to fight. Wanted you to be happy again.”
“If you don’t want to fight do you know what you do? You don’t fight. You don’t go into someone else’s mind and make things the way you want them.”
“Okay, I realize I did it wrong.”
Tara noticed she didn’t say that doing it was wrong. “You did it the way you are doing everything. When things get hard or people aren’t acting the way you want them to, you change it. You want everything the way YOU think it should be. It’s not good for you, Willow. It’s not what magic is for and besides you aren’t always right!”
“But I just want to help people,” Willow wheedled.
“When it started, maybe. Now you’re just using it to help yourself. To make things the way you want them to be no matter what anyone else wants. I can’t live with someone who would do that to me.”
“No, Tara!” Willow panicked. “ I need you, I love you. I don’t need magic, I can go without and I can prove it to you. Just let me show you I can change. Give me a month!”
Tara looked at her skeptically. “A week. You go one whole week with no magic at all and we’ll see.”
Tara left the room and a crestfallen Willow.
“I can’t lose her,” Willow cried.
***
Buffy punched the bag hard enough to make it spin. Giles was leaving! Even after finding out the truth of where she had been, how hard it was to adjust, he was going to abandon her like all the rest.
“As long as I stay, you’ll always turn to me when something comes up that you feel you can’t handle.” Buffy wondered what was wrong with that? Didn’t everyone have someone they could turn to in the hard times? “I’ll step in because I can’t bear to see you suffer.”
‘Well that makes two of us,’ Buffy thought. Giles was continuing with his rationalizations for abandonment. ‘He knows that’s a weak spot for me too! Why is he doing this?’
“I taught you all I can about being a Slayer and your mother taught you what you need to know about life. But, you’re not going to trust yourself until you are forced to stand alone.”
“I stand alone every night, Giles. I’ve been standing alone for ages. You say you’ve taught me all you can about being a Slayer? I’ve learned that every night since I was called, with every blow, every broken bone, every cut. I’ve learned it by bringing death to demons and vampires by the dozens. You didn’t teach me that.” She was rapidly going from hurt to angry.
“When did you teach me to read all those books you have that tell about the demons and the apocalypses and omens? When did you teach me how to do the other things a Watcher is supposed to do for their Slayers to help keep us alive?”
Giles looked uncomfortable. “Now more than ever the temptation to give up is going to be overwhelming and I just cannot…”
“Just what? Bury me again? That what you’re running from? Well, Giles, don’t worry about it because clearly heaven doesn’t want me and I don’t want hell so I’m not going anywhere until I have to.” She sat down on the floor mats, her voice breaking along with her heart. “You can be here and I can still be strong.”
“Buffy, I have thought this over and believe it’s the right thing to do.”
He wasn’t going to budge, she could see it. It was the same look she’d seen on her dad, on Angel, on Riley. He was already gone in every way that mattered. “You’re wrong.”
***
Angel entered the Magic Box from the sewer entrance and made his way stealthily up to the forbidden books. He doubted that Giles would notice a missing book for a while anyway. By the time they had what they needed and his son was safe he’d have the book back in its place with no one the wiser.
He’d overheard at least a part of the conversation between Buffy and Giles and was shocked that the Watcher was planning to leave Buffy there without the benefit of the Council’s counsel. That wasn’t how it was supposed to work! If he wasn’t so caught up in urgent business back in LA he’d have tried to set the Watcher straight! ‘Maybe once the baby is born I can drop in and offer to let Wes lend a hand from time to time. A Slayer needs a Watcher.’
He rifled through the older manuscripts then grinned as he spotted the other copy of the Nyzaian Scroll, the one the Council had appropriated ages ago. Surely it would explain in better detail just what they were dealing with and why so many groups had an unhealthy interest in his child.
He glanced at the door to the training room and fought the urge to make his presence known. He really needed to get back on the road if he wanted to be there for the birth though, so he tucked the scroll in his inner, deep pocket that often housed his longer weapons and prepared to leave.
Before he could make a smooth escape he had to hide in a closet as Xander and Anya returned.
“I agree with Tara. She’s gotten completely out of hand,” Anya was emphatic. It seemed the couple was in mid-argument. Angel shook his head in disapproval. How Xander had let a smart and classy girl like Cordy go only to settle for this shrill, brittle former demon he’d never understand. Xander was obviously a lost cause.
“But Willow would never do anything to hurt anyone, you know that.”
“Oh, no,” the girl replied with clear sarcasm. “She’d never cause anyone to become demon bait or blind or bring a troll into this dimension or anything like that.” Anya rolled her eyes. “Every bit of magic she’s done has had unexpected bad stuff attached. Grow up, Xander, she’s irresponsible.”
***
“Willow? Come on...are you ready?” Dawn yelled up the stairwell.
Based on what Willow was wearing, or not wearing more accurately, she was not. She pulled the towel tightly around her body and looked down at Dawn below her. “Not so much. You go on ahead and tell Giles to hold up. I’ll be there asap.”
Tara was already at the door and clearly still not happy with Willow. “Fine. Come on Dawnie, we’ll drive over and let everyone know Willow will be late.”
“Hurry up, you don’t want to miss the latest on the ooky monster of the week.”
“I’ll be there,” Willow assured the two.
She watched as the two girls got into the car and drove away then went quickly upstairs to her room. Towels no longer in place, it was obvious that Willow was already dressed and her hair completely dry all along. She smiled in satisfaction. Soon everything and everybody would be right as rain! ‘Really! I don’t understand why Tara doesn’t see how helpful magic can be. She acts like a timid old lady sometimes!’
Willow gathered her supplies and made her way downstairs to the living room and the fireplace. She looked at the large piece of Lethe’s Bramble and grinned. “Such a simple spell and it’ll do so much good! It can fix it all. Everybody can be like we were before when we were all tight and trusting.”
She knelt by the fireplace, “No pesky memories to keep us from being the way we are the happiest.”
She thought of Buffy and Tara especially and how upset they both were with her as she struck a match and set the flowers on fire.
“Let Lethe’s Bramble do its chore. Purge their minds of memories grim, of pains from recent slights and sins.” She reached into a small pouch on her belt and took out a crystal, holding it to the flaming flower. “When the fire goes out, when the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast. Tabula rasa, tabula rasa, tabula rasa.” She took the now blackened crystal and put it back in her pouch and prepared to leave.
As the door slammed behind her as the flames reached out as if seeking more purpose than the Witch had intended and touched off the bag with the other flowers that Willow had left on the hearth. The green glow was pretty.