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“You know that we’re all gonna kill you if you hurt him, right?”
Billy snorts.
After he and Steve admitted to dating each other, Billy has been attacked by all of the kids nonstop. He’s currently surrounded by Max’s friends on the couch, smoking a cigarette, listening to them rant about their babysitter (who just so happened to be his boyfriend).
Max invited all of her little friends to their house without permission (again) and they were all blocking his view of the TV. Trying to look intimidating. It wasn’t working.
It was kind of funny actually. They were all convinced that he was going to murder Steve or some shit.
“I’d like to see you try and kill me, twerp,” Billy laughs.
“Don’t underestimate our power. You don’t stand a chance against the four of us. We could take. you. down.”
“Yeah, I don’t wanna be a part of that,” Lucas says.
“Me neither.”
“I wasn’t a part of it, to begin with.”
Billy throws his head back against the couch and lets out another laugh.
“Are you serious guys??” Dustin shouts, throwing his hands into the air. “You’re all just gonna leave me hanging here. What fucking great friends I have.”
At least the rest of the kids had some common sense. Even if they all came at him, Billy’s pretty sure he could fight them all off. After all, they were just puny little teenagers.
“I just don’t get what Steve sees in you,” Wheeler boy blurts out.
Billy smirks around his cigarette and looks up at Mike. “Watcha mean? Who wouldn’t want this piece of meat?” The kids scrunched up their faces.
“You tried to kill him, Billy,” Max cuts in.
“I wasn’t trying to fucking kill him, Maxine. You don’t know shit.” Billy hates when people assume that he was trying to kill Steve. He’s a jerk, but he ain’t no murderer. But then again, he wasn’t stopping. If Max didn’t step in, who knows what would have happened to Steve.
“Either way, you were a jerk,” Lucas says. “You’re still a jerk, actually.”
“Fuck off. I’m only jerks to annoying little shits like you. Go bother Steve or some shit.”
“We can’t. We have to make sure you’re not trying to hurt him,” Curly says.
“Didn’t we get this out the way? I’m not going to do shit to him.” Billy’s growling at them now. They just won’t fucking leave. He just wants to be left alone.
“I’m not talking about beating him up!” he shouts, exasperated. “You’re gonna break his heart or something. Like what you did with your other girlfriends.”
Where the fuck were they getting this shit from? He’s never been in a serious relationship in his life. He used to get with a girl once in a while, but nothing more than that.
“I’m not a fucking player, Henderson.”
“Yeah, well…Max told us that you’ve had like five different girlfriends.”
That pisses him off.
He looks up at Max now. More like glares up at her. Stands up. Gets close to her face.
“Don’t talk shit, when you don’t know shit.” He grits out between his teeth.
He never had a girlfriend in his life. He just brought a bunch of girls over and used them (even though that was a dick move). But the point was, Max wasn’t right. She was never right. She didn’t know shit. He’d only had one relationship before Steve, and that was with a guy. It wasn’t serious. Max never even knew about that, so he didn’t know where she was getting five girlfriends from.
“Chill out, man. We’re just trying to look out for Steve,” Wheeler says, bringing him back from his thoughts.
“Yeah. Making sure that you’re good enough for him,” another one of the rats says. He’s not even sure which one. They were all saying the same thing over and over.
Don’t hurt Steve.
Don’t be a dick to Steve.
Be good to Steve.
You don’t deserve Steve.
It was always Steve. Never him. Sometimes, he wished people cared about him as much as they cared about Steve.
Billy knew, deep down, even though he would never admit it to himself, that he wanted someone to do to him what the kids were doing to Steve. To defend him. To care enough that they would threaten someone for him. Even though it would have to be against someone who was bigger and stronger, and who they didn’t have a chance against.
Just like him.
But that would never happen because he was Billy Hargrove. The player. The dick. The guy who doesn’t deserve anyone. Who doesn’t deserve Steve.
And fuck it because they were right. He doesn’t deserve Steve. He’s a dick. He hurts people. He hurt Steve.
“Billy?” a soft voice from his step-sister brought him back to reality.
He stands there for a moment and just looks at her because he can’t remember the last thing they said. All that was flooding through his head was thought that he didn’t deserve Steve.
“Fuck,” Billy says, his hands going up to his head to pull at his locks. He couldn’t think.
“Um,” she hesitates, and nervously pulls a strand of hair away from her face. “We can stop talking if you want.”
A flood of guilt coursed through him. Of course, he snapped at the one person who could see right through him. The one person who probably cared the most about him in that house, even if she didn’t care that much.
But there’s no point in trying to fix a relationship that would never get fixed. Nothing he could do would fix their relationship because nothing he’s ever done has ever fixed anything. He only breaks. Breaks people. Breaks things. That’s the only thing he’s good at. Why try any differently?
“What the hell are you thinking Maxine?” he sneers down at her. “You think I’m hurt by you and you’re little friends?” he laughs, loud and scary. She backs up. “You think I’m sad because I’m not good enough for Steve?” She shakes her head.
He’s not mad. He just wants to start a fight. He wants to her to do something. Anything that would make him mad. Hell, he wanted her to hit him. Make him feel something that’s not hurt.
“Well guess what, Maxine? I’m not.” He’s too close to her face now. He can see the tears filling up her eyes, but he tells himself he doesn’t care. “I don’t give a shit about–”
He feels four arms pulling him away from her. He lets them. He wasn’t going to hurt her. He just needed to take his anger out on someone. Scare her a little bit. Make it clear that he wasn’t hurt and that he’s not sad. Even if he is.
“Jesus Christ, dude! Get away from her.”
Billy turns around fuming. “Get out.”
They all look at him as if they didn’t hear him.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!” He startles them enough that they all head out the door without a word, leaving him alone.
He ruined everything. Again. He couldn’t do anything right. But then again he knew that already. Only about time before Steve notices how bad of a person he is and leaves him. A part of Billy wants Steve to leave before he can hurt him too. He would just be another person Billy’d scared away when all he wanted was to be loved.
Before he could feel any real emotion, he storms to his room. He just needed to stop feeling, then everything would be ok.
He slams the door of his room shut, turns up his music until he can’t hear his own thoughts, and wills himself not to cry.
He doesn’t deserve Steve.