Chapter Text
Chapter 1
“What I’m about to tell you cannot leave this room.” Alya said. “Once you possess this knowledge, you must do you everything you can to avoid being akumatized, for if this information falls into the wrong hands, it could mean the end of the world as we know it.”
“Is this about a surprise party for Nino?” Alix asked, leaning against her fist.
“No.”
“Did you get Prince Ali’s phone number?” Rose perked up.
“No.”
“Did you murder someone and need our help to hide the body?” Everyone turned to Juleka with horrified expressions.
“What? No! We’re getting off track.” Alya shook her head. The girls leaned in with inquisitive eyes, and Alya whispered, “I know Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identities.”
The girls stared at her blankly before sitting back in their beanbags, and Alya threw her head back with a groan.
“Okay, I know I have hunches all the time, but this time I’ve got a solid case!” She flipped the cover of the large notebook situated on an easel. “Hear me out. I’ve always said that Adrien looks a bit like Chat Noir, but have you guys ever noticed that he always seems to conveniently disappear when an akuma attacks?”
“Lots of people disappear when an akuma attacks. His bodyguard probably totes him off to some safehouse or something,” Alix said pointedly.
“Yes, but even when the akuma isn’t at the school or anywhere near us, he always seems to excuse himself and then disappear until it’s over. Don’t you guys find that a little suspicious?” Alya huffed, crossing her arms over her chest when her friends seemed less than convinced. “Fine, maybe it’s a coincidence, but do you guys remember my blog post about the magical creatures that grant Ladybug and Chat Noir their powers—the kwamis? And a few days later I asked Chat Noir after a battle what kind of food his kwami liked to eat to recharge, and he said Camembert? Well, Adrien left his bag open in class the other day, and you wanna know what I spotted? Camembert.”
“I mean, he’s really busy. Maybe it was just a snack.” Mylene shrugged.
“That’s not all.” Alya held up a finger. “When I was standing next to Nino while Adrien got his books out of his locker, he had two more wheels in his locker. Why does he need so much cheese if not to feed a very small and powerful creature so that he can transform at a moment’s notice?”
“So, the dude really likes fancy cheese?” Alix said.
“No, that’s the thing. He really doesn’t. He came over to hang at Nino’s with us last weekend, so I brought over some Camembert to test that theory, and Adrien admitted that he hates Camembert and can’t get it passed his nose,” Alya said.
“That is odd…” Rose admitted.
“And it does all seem a little too convenient.” Mylene agreed.
“So, if Adrien is Chat Noir, then isn’t this bad news?” Rose said. “Chat Noir is in love with Ladybug, isn’t he?”
Alya smirked, and Alix quirked a brow. “You said you know Ladybug’s identity too.”
Alya clasped her hands behind her back. “Have you ever noticed who else tends to disappear a lot and is always coming up with lame excuses around akuma attacks?” Alya asked. “Marinette.”
“You think Marinette is Ladybug?” Alix scoffed. “She can barely walk on a flat surface without tripping over her own two feet, and you think she’s Ladybug?”
“And I can prove it.” Alya nodded.
“Go on then.” Alix urged.
“What is Ladybug’s power?” Alya asked, and Rose raised her hand.
“Luck!”
“Precisely. Now we know that the Miraculouses enhance all physical abilities, so wouldn’t the best identity coverup for a super coordinated and agile heroine be a klutz?” Alya said pointedly. “Marinette is always disappearing and coming up with excuses, she has a distaste for Chat Noir or the thought of Adrien being Chat Noir, and her kwami has a sweet tooth which is mighty convenient for someone whose parents own a bakery.”
“You’ve officially lost your mind,” Alix said.
“Yeah, I don’t really think she’s Ladybug.”
“Nope.”
“MmMm.”
Alya rolled her eyes and stalked to her computer. “Maybe I am crazy, but I’m just saying it seems a little suspicious. Plus, I played around with edits on my computer, and-” She pulled up two images. “On the left you see Ladybug with her mask digitally removed, and on the right is Marinette in the Ladybug costume from Clara’s music video.”
“Whoa!” Mylene gasped.
“No way.” Alix’s eyebrows raised, and Rose cupped a hand over her mouth.
“I rest my case.” Alya paced back over to her large notepad. “Now, this is where things get interesting because as Rose pointed out, Adrien or rather Chat Noir, is in love with Ladybug, and as we know Marinette is in love with Adrien which means that Ladybug is in love with Adrien.”
“And Ladybug doesn’t like Chat Noir, and Adrien doesn’t like Marinette, and presumably Marinette and Chat Noir don’t like each other either.” Alix listed.
“I call it-” Alya flipped over the next page. “-the love square.”
“Ooh!” Rose cupped her hands over her cheeks.
“Four sides, I call them LadyNoir, Adrinette, MariChat, and Ladrien, each chasing the other in circles hopelessly,” Alya said, pointing to her diagram. “We have each taken a vow to help Marinette get together with Adrien, but the problem as Alix pointed out is that Adrien is in love with Ladybug. But Marinette is Ladybug, so that means in order to help our best friend get her wish…”
“We’re going to set up Adrien with Ladybug!” Rose gasped, and a crooked grin spread over Alya’s lips.
“Precisely.”
“Okay, but that will never work. Ladybug would never date a civilian. She’s too high-strung,” Alix said.
“Under normal circumstances, I’d agree with you, but Adrien Agreste is no average citizen. He’s the most perfect, amazing, down-to-earth, mind-meltingly gorgeous green-eyed model in all of Paris.” Alya cupped her cheeks, imitating her best friend. “And this is Marinette “Three Kids and a Dog” we’re talking about.”
“I dunno. Wouldn’t it be better to help Adrien notice Marinette? Dating a superhero sounds kind of dangerous,” Mylene said.
“I think it’s romantic!” Rose sighed.
“Come on, we all know Marinette is never going to muster up the courage to tell Adrien on her own. Every time she tries, she narrowly avoids global catastrophe. This might be the only chance we have to make our friends happy,” Alya said. When the girls remained quiet, she added, “Or we could just let her keep failing and hope that one day Adrien doesn’t reject her and cause her to get akumatized, dooming the whole world.”
“Well, when you put it like that…” Mylene pursed her lips.
“This is our most important mission yet girls. Hands in!” Alya said.
Each girl placed a hand in the circle, but Alix hung back with a skeptical frown.
“Come on, Alix!” Rose pleaded.
Alix rolled her eyes, offering an arm. “I still think you’re crazy.”
“Operation Ladrien on three,” Alya said.
“One.”
“Two.”
“Three!”
“Operation Ladrien!”
“Yeah, whatever,” Alix grumbled.
“Okay, girls, we have a lot of planning to do,” Alya said, flipping to a blank page and uncapping a marker. “Here’s what I’m thinking.”