Chapter Text
/
it’s a beautiful morning.
the white curtains covering the window are too transparent to keep the sun’s first beams of light away. instead, a warm yellow color fills the bedroom. it paints the walls and washes away the darkness in a few seconds.
jimin’s still half asleep, but he can still recognize the cold, damp hand stroking his bare back, following his spine and drawing patterns with invisible ink. namjoon’s hand.
a sigh escapes his lips.
he’s okay. namjoon’s okay. they’re okay.
/
jimin knows almost everything about namjoon.
jimin knows that namjoon often can’t sleep and wakes up at sunrise, that namjoon loves red grapes and keeps them in the fridge so they last longer, that the bookstore namjoon works at is three stations away from jimin’s dance building, that namjoon likes to shower everyday after dinner because “it’s cleansing” , and jimin knows that namjoon loves him.
jimin also knows that each morning namjoon will wake him up and force him out of bed. jimin will go into the bathroom to take a quick shower, and when he’ll come out namjoon would’ve prepared a quick breakfast: a cooked egg, a bowl of rice, and some soup.
when they’ve both eaten jimin would go on his daily morning run. namjoon would still be in the kitchen consuming his breakfast because he’s always been a slow eater, but would always give jimin his goodbye kiss.
after finishing his daily morning run around the calm neighbourhood they both live in, jimin would come back to find namjoon napping on the couch. he would wake his boyfriend with a few kisses before ushering him to get himself ready.
and at last, when they both are dressed and ready for work, they would walk to the bus station together and ride the short, fifteen-minute ride.
jimin would go of by the building where he helps trainees with dancing and choreographs idol’s new songs, and namjoon stays on the bus for three more stations before hopping off and walking to the bookstore magic shop , owned by an older, grumpy guy called yoongi and his younger, bunny-like brother jeongguk.
that’s how it’s always been, and always will be.
/
(“jimin.”
jimin looks over at namjoon, who’s laying on the couch after a long day of work, and hums.
“do you think i’m pretty?”
at this jimin laughs. “of course, stupid. just not prettier than me!”)
/
“hey, joonie, do you know where i left my black turtleneck?”
“that’s mine, brat,” comes the response. “but it’s probably on one of the chairs in the bedroom. check there.”
jimin huffed, but turned around and went to their bedroom. as promised, the black turtleneck sweater was folded over a wooden chair in the corner.
despite namjoon’s protests, jimin liked to wear his boyfriend’s clothes. at least his sweaters. namjoon was so tall, and jimin was so short (even though he’d never admit it out loud), so namjoon’s pants would never work.
jimin pulled the sweater over his head and carefully adjusted it as he looked into the mirror on the wall.
before, jimin had issues with his self-esteem. he would eat less, dance more, and destroy his body to become “perfect”. but now, with a shining smile, jimin realizes that he actually thinks that he looks pretty—
kind of, at least.
namjoon always pestered him with comments about how he was “more beautiful than the stars in the sky” and that “perfection doesn’t matter because no human could ever be perfect”.
and jimin, despite the cringe at how awfully cheesy namjoon was, started to believe him.
jimin’s so glad that he has a boyfriend like namjoon.
/
(jimin looks into the fridge and the cabinets, humming to himself.
“hey, joonie, i think we need to go grocery shopping. the fridge is almost empty.”
namjoon hums. “sure, i’ll go tomorrow.”
jimin smiles and thanks him.)
/
jimin was happy.
he could feel it blooming in his chest, spreading through his veins, filling his eyes with a shine greater than the sun itself; jimin was truly happy.
and, to be honest, it’s all thanks to namjoon. his sweet gestures and the way he’s always there, never asking for something back. namjoon read jimin like an open book. namjoon knew when jimin was sad and he knew how to fix it.
the only problem was that jimin couldn’t read namjoon. namjoon didn’t ask for anything, didn’t accept anything, didn’t want anything. but jimin shrugged his behaviour off. if namjoon was a selfless and loving person, jimin would let him.
namjoon was okay.
/
(jimin stands in front of the mirror with a frown on his face. is he really pretty?
shaking his head, jimin walks away from the mirror.
“hey, pretty baby,” namjoon says from the couch.
a smile spreads of jimin’s face.)
/
something didn’t feel right.
jimin couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was putting pressure on his chest and making it a bit harder to breathe. it’s been wrong all morning, all day and even now, as he sits cuddled up against namjoon and watching some american serie on their television.
suddenly jimin wants to cry .
it’s so, so wrong. because jimin isn’t used to feeling wrong like this. sure, he used to all the time a few years ago, but not now. suddenly, jimin wants to scream and cry and sob and—
jimin shifts in namjoon’s hold. his boyfriend’s arms disappear and a cold hand with slender fingers grip his chin softly, making his head tilt up. jimin doesn’t even try to hide his glittering eyes, filled with unshed tears.
“hey, hey. what’s wrong, baby?” namjoon’s voice makes the dam break.
sobbing, jimin shakes his head. “i-i don’t know, it just feels—so, so, s-so wrong .”
namjoon slowly brings jimin’s shaking body closer to himself, and jimin buries his head in his chest. his arms are curled up against himself and his right leg is thrown over namjoon’s bottom half. namjoon cradles jimin like a small child.
“it’s okay,” he says. “you can cry, it’s okay. i’m here.” the last part is a such soft whisper that jimin barely hears it.
“i promise.”
jimin doesn’t see the way namjoon’s voice trembles and his hands shake.
/
(“are you okay, baby?”
jimin smiles at namjoon’s sweet question.
“yeah, yeah i am.”)
/
jimin cut his morning run short this day. it’s a friday, he’s tired and he doesn’t have to run to laps around the whole neighbourhood.
he walks into the apartment, expecting namjoon to either be on the couch napping or in the kitchen eating breakfast. instead, the older male is nowhere to be found.
“joonie? i’m home early!”
jimin walks further into the apartment after closing the door behind him and taking of his running shoes. “joon?”
suddenly, namjoon emerges from the bathroom. his wide eyes are red, cheeks swollen, face blotchy. he looks really sick.
“namjoon! oh my god, are you sick? why didn’t you call me?” jimin yells before walking in long strides towards namjoon. “you are not going to work today.”
“’kay.” namjoon’s voice is waverly and raspy. “i think i’ve got a stomach flu or somethin’— i threw up.”
that day, neither of the boys went to work. namjoon was tucked into bed by jimin, and was taken care of for the whole weekend.
/
(it’s tuesday, namjoon and jimin are lying on the couch again watching stupid american series.
jimin thought that namjoon would tease jimin about not being able to understand the english, having to read subtitles, but namjoon was silent.
he threw an arm over namjoon’s chest. had he always been this skinny?)
/
namjoon looks paler than usual.
jimin can’t help but notice it. his boyfriend’s normally tan skin is starting to look like yoongi’s. but it’s fine. namjoon’s fine.
jimin had just come home from work, tired from dancing all day. he’s laying on the couch with his back on namjoon’s lap, their hands intertwined.
“why do you have so many scars and bruises on your hands, joonie?” jimin jokes, chuckling a bit.
namjoon shrugs. “i dunno, chim. just clumsy.”
jimin lets it go. after all, he knows that namjoon would never lie to him. he’s too much of an amazing boyfriend to do that.
“by the way,” jimin says in a cute voice, pouting. “can you please get me some chai tea? please , joonie-hyung-nim, the love of my life, the stars in the sky-”
“okay, okay! sure, fine.” namjoon laughs at jimin’s long ranting.
jimin thanks him cutely, like always, and sits up so namjoon can go to the kitchen. he takes his place because of the warmth and watches as namjoon walks away to make him tea.
he ignores the way namjoon sways when standing up.
soon, jimin can hear water boiling and cabinets opening and closing. he snuggles deeper into the couch and drags a blanket over his legs. it’s getting warmer outside, it’s in the beginning of april still. but he’s still cold.
namjoon comes back from the kitchen balancing not one, but two cups of tea and a container of honey. jimin can smell the chai mingling with another fragrance. “earl grey?”
namjoon nods with a smile before putting the two cups and honey down on the coffee table. jimin eagerly takes his own and sips it, despite it being a bit too warm. he asks namjoon for the honey and pours in a generous amount.
“don’t you want honey?” namjoon shakes his head, lips pressed together tightly.
jimin feels uneasy. but it’s okay, he’s okay, namjoon’s okay.
/
(“did you sleep well, joon?”
namjoon’s reddened eyes has dark circles underneath, and he looks ready to fall asleep at any second.
“yeah, of course.”
jimin smiles anyway.)
/
“namjoon!”
jimin bursts out a squeal of happiness and calls out his boyfriend’s name, who hums from his place at the kitchen table.
“my parents just messaged me, they said that they were planning on coming to seoul next weekend. they could stay on a hotel and we could meet! isn’t it great?”
namjoon doesn’t seem to happy about the fact, but jimin forgets about is as soon as a smile spreads over his face and he stands up, walking over to jimin. “really? yeah, that’s amazing, jiminie!”
without being able to stop himself, fueled by the happiness and excitement, jimin flings himself into namjoon’s arms.
jimin ignores how namjoon stumbles and is unable to hold up the weight.
“i’m so happy, joonie.”
/
(jimin got to sit beside namjoon in the ambulance and hold his hand.
he collapsed. in the middle of the street.
it was cold and damp and limp in his grasp. jimin hates the feeling.)
/
jimin knows almost everything about namjoon.
jimin knows that namjoon often can’t sleep and wakes up at sunrise, that namjoon loves red grapes, that namjoon’s workplace (a small, cosy bookstore called “magic shop”) is three stations away from jimin’s dance building, that namjoon likes to shower everyday after dinner, and that namjoon loves jimin.
but there are also a lot of things that jimin doesn’t know.
and maybe, jimin forgot namjoon was human too.
/