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Rose took a deep breath, willing her hands to stop shaking, her heart to slow down. She felt like she hadn’t taken a proper deep breath since the alien prison had exploded, nearly burying her in the rubble. Her escape had been a nightmare, but that soon paled in comparison to the horror of finding the Doctor, lying unresponsive in the debris.
After the longest hour of her life, she was able to pull him from the wreckage with the help of some of the slaves he’d helped to free. There had seemed to be a strange, electric feel to the air, as if some kind of power was coalescing around and within the Doctor’s body. There had been a moment when the gathering energy had seemed oppressive, like a humid summer’s day. Then it had simply dissipated as the Doctor exhaled golden particles as Rose watched, frozen in terror. The newly freed slaves had helped her carry him to the TARDIS infirmary.
The TARDIS had guided Rose through the process of caring for the worst of the visible injuries. She had removed his ruined purple jumper to tend to the gashes and burns, and with the help of the dermal regenerator his skin was perfectly healed. She briefly thought of how she’d objected to the timeship being in her head when they had first started traveling, but now she was grateful. The soothing hum helped calm her.
The Doctor seemed to be stable now, but he just wouldn’t wake up. Rose sank down on the edge of the bed, unwilling to leave him for even a second. The monitors tracked his heartsbeat, but she wasn’t satisfied until she tentatively placed her hands on his bare chest over each heart, feeling the steady thumping.
“Doctor,” she rasped, her throat sore from bellowing for help, “Don’t ya ever scare me like that again, ‘kay?” She felt momentarily embarrassed for speaking out loud, but then she felt a wave of emotion and reassurance that couldn’t have come from anywhere else than the TARDIS. Rose slid her hand down his arm, stopping only when she reached his hand. She clutched him. “Always makes me feel better when you’re holdin’ my hand. Ready for ya to wake up. Thought your superior Time Lord brain didn’t need as much sleep as us apes.” She tried to chuckle but she couldn’t seem to make the sound come out around the large lump in her throat. It took Rose’s breath away to realize just how much she longed to see the blue of his gaze shining back at her. “Open your eyes, Doctor, please,” she whispered. There was no response. She sighed shakily, swiping at her tears, which were flowing freely.
The adrenaline surge from the Doctor’s rescue and emergency care had waned, leaving shakiness and nausea in its wake. The whole day had been such a horror show, and now she couldn’t even take comfort in an embrace from her best friend.
More than just a best friend. And he might never wake up. He might never know…
The TARDIS would look after her, Rose realized. She knew this simple truth like it was an instinct. The timeship would make sure she got home safely, if it came to that. If the worst happened, and he didn’t…
Rose couldn’t allow herself to think of that. He would wake up soon. He had to. And when he awakened she would… Tell him how I feel ‘cos I almost lost him? No, I’ll keep my mouth shut. I’ll stay with him, forever if I can. But I’m keepin’ that in my heart. He doesn’t do that. I don’t mind. I just want him to wake up. Blimey I’m tired and my thoughts are all jumbled up. Dull pain throbbed behind her eyes.
The lights in the room dimmed, leaving only the glowing golden roundels and the medical equipment as the room’s source of illumination. Rose felt a warm wave of comfort from the time ship, and she looked up at the vast coral struts gratefully. “Tellin’ me I need some rest, too? M’not leavin’ him to go take a kip, though. Not leavin’ him, ever.”
Rose gazed at his sleeping form. She realized the TARDIS had worked a bit of her magic, since the bed on which the Doctor rested had suddenly widened and added another pillow. There was now enough room for her to take that kip, right alongside him. Absolutely exhausted, she let go of his hand long enough to go around to the other side of the bed. She crawled onto the mattress, careful not to jostle the Doctor.
As soon as her head hit the pillow, Rose felt waves of exhaustion tugging her under. She rolled onto her side, facing the Doctor. Because she couldn’t stand to not be touching him, she gently rested her hand on his chest, between his hearts. She let the soothing rhythm of his breathing relax her.. As she dozed off she heard herself confess, “Please wake up soon. I love you.” No, no...I didn’t mean to say… he can’t hear me, anyway. And she finally surrendered to sleep.
***
Rose wasn’t sure how long she had slept. Her mind registered dimly that she was warm and comfortable, and that only made her want to burrow down into unconsciousness for several hours more.
Peace and quiet… As her fuzzy brain grasped that it was too quiet, she gasped, sitting upright. The heart monitor had been a constant, comforting noise in the background and now the quadruple beat was silent. Oh God...why hadn’t an alarm gone off if something was wrong! Panicking, her whiskey eyes locked onto beautiful blue ones. The Doctor was fully awake, lying on his side next to her. She reached out shakily, cupping his cheek. He gave her an exhausted smile as he gently gripped her arm to pull her back down next to him.
“Don’t think ‘ve ever seen ya wake up that fast,” the Doctor rasped.
A quick glance at his chest told her that he’d removed the heart monitor wires. “Blimey…” Rose breathed. “When I didn’t hear the heart monitor…”
“Beepin’ was drivin’ me barmy,” he murmured with a hint of a smirk. “Didn’t mean to scare ya, me.”
Rose resumed breathing, briefly squeezing her eyes shut. “I guess you’ve decided you’re okay, then?”
“M’ fine.” He grinned at her, demonstrating how okay he was, but Rose found little solace in his expression. She felt, for likely the hundredth time in this whole horrible day, tears stinging her eyes. “Rose?” The Doctor reached for her, pulling her against him and wrapping his arms around her. That broke the dam, and although it was terribly embarrassing, Rose began to sob. “Aw, sweetheart, m’fine. S’okay,” he murmured, holding her tight.
Rose buried her face in the join between his neck and shoulder, trying to stop the sobbing but the effort only made it worse. She was caught in a whirlwind of emotion, relieved and angry at him for scaring her. And of course, that ever present arousal was rearing its head as well, since the Doctor was still quite shirtless and she was coming in contact with a fair bit of bare skin. “Ugh,” she nearly growled.
“‘Have you decided if you’re okay, then?” the Doctor asked with a chuckle.
Rose raised her head up, glaring at him. “I’m proper angry at you, you scared the hell outta me!” He took a breath to answer her but she forged on. “First we get separated in that awful prison and the whole thing explodes and when I finally do escape I find you... Oh my God, you were barely alive. An’ it felt like somethin’ was gonna happen. You breathed out these...sparkle things an’ you wouldn’t wake up… It was so scary, givin’ you first aid and not knowin’ if it was right, or if you’d ever wake up...or if you could hear me. An’ then when ya do wake up ya act like it’s no big deal, ya do it all the time. I was terrified!” His blue eyes were wide as she vented. She stopped to take a breath, realizing just how close they were. He stayed quiet. She supposed he was waiting to see if she had anything else to say. “At least the TARDIS helped me…” Rose trailed off, her rant ending rather lamely. In embarrassment, she buried her face in his shoulder again. She felt him sigh and squeeze her just a bit tighter.
“Don’t doubt that I was as safe as houses with the pair of you takin’ care of me, Rose Tyler. Thank you.”
Rose gazed back up at him, allowing herself a small smile. “Welcome.”
“M’really okay. I can feel it, my body is completely healed. Just needed a bit of healin’ coma to take care of the things you couldn’t do.”
“That’s what that was?” she murmured.
“It was. Havin’ you there next to me helped, too.” He was gazing at her, and Rose shivered a bit at the intensity in his eyes. “And by the way… I could hear everythin’ you said. I always hear you, Rose.”
Rose gave an involuntary gasp at the hazy memory of just what she’d said as she dozed off echoed in her now very-awake mind.
“Wanted to answer you back, me.” The Doctor confessed.
“What… what would you’ve said?”
“Well, first of all, I woulda told ya to stop worryin’.”
Of course, that’s what he’d say. Rose shook her head ruefully. “Not gonna happen.”
“Guess I should know that, cos I don’t ever stop worryin’ about you. Did ya get hurt in the explosion?”
“Just a few scratches,” she told him. “Nothin’ big. Didn’t have a whole wall fall on me like somebody I know. Looks like I wasn't the jeopardy friendly one this time around.”
“Oi, there. The pair of us are equally jeopardy friendly. “S'not a competition. M’ gonna want to check those out, later, if it’s not urgent.” He grinned, his whole face lighting up with it. Rose couldn’t help smiling as well.
“M’ okay,” she said.
“Well, then.” His fingers trailed down her shoulder, causing the most delicious goosebumps.
“What was that second thing you were gonna tell me, if the worryin’ was the first?” She held her breath, waiting for his answer. If he didn’t mention the words she’d spoken to him in exhaustion, she knew they’d go on as always. But the tender look he gave her made her dare to believe she could hope for more.
He brushed his nose gently against hers, then he spoke. “Well, it probably would’ve gone somethin’ like this… Been holdin’ back, me. Scared of how much I’d be hurt if somethin’ ever took you away from me. But, for all that bein’ a genius Time Lord, I’m kinda dim. Been wastin’ time I could be usin’ for other things I could… should be doin’.”
“Really?”
“You can do a surprisin’ amount of thinkin’ in a healing coma, as it turns out. So, that lead to this third thought I had.”
“Which was?” she whispered.
“I love you too, Rose Tyler.”