Chapter Text
After dealing with the severity of stopping the fucking apocolypse, the Hargreeves siblings felt they deserved a break. So, they planned a vacation. Since their father took away their childhood they decided to reclaim it by going to Disney. They chose Disneyland instead of Disney World since Space Mountain was way better there.
They were all putting the finishing touches up on packing up their suitcases, when Five caught their attention.
" Come on Dolores. " He said, wrapping a scarf around the lifeless mannequin. " We're gonna have lots of fun, just like you've been wanting. "
" Bro I don't know if they'll even allow you to bring that... " Klaus told the boy.
" Well, I don't care! She's my wife and she's going on vacation with us! "
" Alrighty then... is everyone ready? " Diego asked.
Everybody gave a slight " Yeah "
" Alright, let's go already. " Vanya spoke, ready to get out of their PTSD mansion.
After Luther drove them to the airport Five was causing problems by teleporting to passengers in their seats and patting them down for weapons. There was no way he was going to have to reset time again. No fucking way. He was DONE.
" Little shit get the Hell off of me! " Some man yelled.
" Don't you fucking TEST me! I'm never going back! " Five screamed.
Alison pulled the feral boy away from the passenger.
" Five what do you think the metal detectors are for?! "
" I DON'T CARE! " he screamed yet again, " THEY DON'T FUCKING WORK! "
" Ma'am you either need to calm your son down or get off of the plane. " An attendee spoke with wide eyes.
" Don't worry, I got this. " Klaus said, pulling out a dirty needle. He stabbed five in the arm while the boy was trying to strangle the flight attendant.
" What the hell did you just put in him?!?!?! "
" Horse tranquilizer. "
" KLAUS- "
Just as she was about to freak out the plane went down. The two passengers jumped out together in a suicide pact.
As the plane accelerated towards the sea, Five grabbed a hold of his 5 family members (with Ben attached to Klaus), and teleported out of this wet situation.
Since Five still isn’t the best at teleporting multiple people, they ended up in a not so familiar place. It seemed they were in the middle of the woods.
“ Where are we? Five! Why won’t you work properly? “ Klaus exclaimed.
“ Well, if it weren’t for me dipshit we would’ve been drowning in the sea, so a thank you would be appreciated. “ Five said in his bratty know it all tone.
“ Well, maybe it’d be better to drown than be in the middle of a forest! There might be a pedophile here or a big huge creepy spider that talks. “ Klaus said while frantically looking around.
“ You’re a fucking idiot that’s higher than a fucking kite. Of course you’d be the one to see a huge talking spider with all that shit you put into your body. “
As the two siblings were about to deepen their argument, they all heard loud crashes coming from right behind them. They turned around and saw a huge giant, it was naked too!
“ Uh, we better fucking start running from this thing, like now! “ Diego stutterted, highly concerned like any other normal human being would be in a similar situation.
The group of 6 (plus Ben) started sprinting like Usain Bolt to get the fuck out of this situation. But the gross naked giant caught up with them quickly.
“ Look what you got us into! You fucking idiot! You disappeared for like 100 years with your stupid powers and now you can’t even save your own family?! Pathetic! “ Luther screeched while pounding on his chest like King Kong.
“ Listen here monkey man, I try my fucking best to help you guys, I went back to save you guys from the apococlypse and this is how I get treated? “ Five got all up in Luther’s face. “ At least for the ‘100’ years I was gone I was doing something useful and not sitting on the moon being a useless piece of shit. “ Five smirked as he saw Luther’s face get red and saw his veins pop up.
“ You better take that back you little shit. “ Luther said through clenched teeth while picking up Five.
Five smirked. “ No thanks Donkey Kong. “
Just as Luther was about to yeet Five over to the moon, Allison yelled, “ Oh my god! That thing is so close to us and all you guys can do is argue instead of getting us out of this? Plus Vanya’s having a panic attack and this is NOT helping! “
As Allison said these words to the monkeys, the giant grabbed Vanya. But she wasn’t in its grip for long. Vanya broke through it’s strong grip and started to float up, just like Jesus Christ, and had her hands sprawled out in a T Pose position, also like Jesus Christ. She rose above the giant and screamed so loud multiple trees crashed to the ground and the giant fell over. A tree came crashing down ending the giant off.
“ Okay, uh grab on guys. “ Five said as Vanya fell to the ground and Allison caught her.
Five teleported the siblings, but still they ended up in a very not familar place. They were in front of a tall concrete wall.
“ Where are we now? Rome? “ Diego asked in a sarcastic tone.
“ I don’t know dipshit. Probably not Rome. “ Five replied.
“ Well, at least we’re safe from that big naked baby. “ Klaus said. “ Wait, you guys saw that giant too… Right? “
“ Yeah, and it almost killed us, but thanks to Vanya’s anxiety attack, we got saved. “ Luther said, in an unimpressed bitchy tone.
As the siblings were about to discuss where they might be and explore, a group of 7 people in green capes approached them, swords drawn.