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Cassius is walking towards her camp - slowly, as if pushing against the current. Grief and exhaustion have taken their toll on her, but there is more than that to the resistance she's facing. It is her parting with Brutus, something Brutus said just before she bid her good night… it keeps returning to her.
"Everything is well".
No, it is not.
Cassius stops abruptly.
She should have never left Brutus alone!
* * *
Porcia comes to Brutus that night - if it is a dream, Brutus never wants to wake up. Just to see Porcia, to dance with her for a thousand nights and days in this grey world, lit by unchanging moon. Her presence pierces Brutus with bliss and pain equally pure - like moonlight, like a sound too clear to be heard. And Brutus cries, letting her tears flow like moonlight.
But Porcia fades away, and there is no light left. In her place stands Caesar, and Brutus wonders: is this the end? Has her death taken the likeness of Caesar, and will Caesar lead her away in a dance, is it an exchange - she took Caesar’s life, and now Caesar takes hers? Caesar’s face is cold and dead… a mask. Brutus cannot bring herself to see what’s behind it, cannot even move her hand towards it. Caesar is holding her - they are dancing - but at the same time she seems infinite miles away. Brutus cannot take it anymore: she would embrace any end, if it meant certainty.
The movement stops. Brutus meets Caesar’s dead eyes… and another figure unceremoniously pushes Caesar aside with her shoulder, as she steps into Brutus’ sight.
"I believe this dance is mine."
Cassius. Rain-soaked, breathing heavily, her boots covered in mud - and her eyes fixed unwaveringly on Brutus, as if Caesar was not there at all.
She does not belong here - the thought flashes in Brutus’ mind and is gone before she knows. Cassius offers her hand with unmatched confidence, and Brutus, still baffled, takes it.
What startled Brutus the most, she realizes, was hearing Cassius’ voice - and then the sound of rain that seemed to follow her into the tent, as if her words broke the spell of silence. Before she appeared, no one spoke: the ghosts are silent, and Brutus... Brutus felt closer to them than to the living, and kept silent too. How do you express in words something buried so deeply it only comes to you in dreams?
But Cassius will put everything into words - everything she's got. Trust her to speak when no one else dares.
“I know you don’t want to go on without Porcia. I know”, she holds Brutus close. “But please - don’t leave me, please. We will not live without each other. Let us not die. Let us not fail. I want to live - I want you to live! I love you! I love you, love you, love you...” She is sobbing.
Brutus puts her hand on the back of Cassius’ head. Her skin is hot, even though she walked in from the rain. So alive, and so vulnerable. Brutus’ heart is overwhelmed with tenderness. For a moment, they just stand embraced, listening to each other’s breath.
Slowly, Brutus looks around. The air, the sound of rain, the tent walls - everything feels real and steady. Wherever Brutus had been, she has returned.
“I love you too, Cassius." Brutus strokes her hair. "I don’t want to lose you.” Not you, too. “We’ve been through so much together. Maybe we can get through this too. Can’t we?”
Cassius tilts her head back, firmly meeting Brutus’ eyes. “Yes. We can.”
And Brutus, unexpectedly for herself, believes it.