Chapter Text
“Where are you going?”
Your trembling hand hovered in front of the door. Connor’s voice was pleasant and calm, but you knew better than to trust it. As an android built to work alongside humans, he excelled at putting on a diplomatic facade.
You turned around to face him.
Already walking over from the doorway of the bedroom, Connor closed the distance between you two. Deceptively friendly eyes glanced at the duffel bag hanging from your shoulder. Does he know? Your fingers tightened around the straps.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I’m going for a walk,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “I need some fresh air.” Your ill-conceived excuse didn’t explain the bag, but you hadn’t counted on being caught. Connor was still in stasis mode after you found his hiding spot for your phone, the last item to pack.
“It isn’t safe to walk through the city after dark,” he said, “especially not alone. Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“I didn’t want to bother you.” Briefly, you wondered if Connor thought you were cheating on him. He didn’t allow you to exit the house unaccompanied. “But since you’re already up, you can come with me.” Maybe you could lose him on the way.
While the thought of running into someone else’s arms was tempting, “someone else” didn’t exist. In fact, even maintaining platonic relationships became a challenge ever since the two of you started dating.
You would’ve taken action sooner if you had known it would get this miserable.
A break-in first brought you two together. The sound of a shattered window coming from your living room, then a small, blue light in the darkness: an android with their LED exposed. Barricading yourself in your room, you called the police, but the intruder fled by the time they arrived. Along with some other officers, Connor searched the house and asked a few questions. He was nothing but professional, almost making you doubt his deviancy in a post-revolution Detroit.
The next day Connor visited on his own, asking if anything else had happened since the break-in. Then he visited again. And again. When you eventually confronted him, he admitted his crush.
That was six months ago.
You reached for the door, not wanting to give him another chance to interrupt. However, Connor quickly put a hand on your shoulder. For a moment his LED flickered yellow, then back to blue as a grin appeared on his face, slightly too wide. “If you’re having trouble sleeping, I can help. I know the best methods of lowering stress. Here, let me put your bag away-”
“NO!”
Shit. You didn’t mean to sound defensive. Attempting to hide your nervousness, you gave him a hopefully placating smile. “Thanks, but I can do it myself.” An awkward pause ensued as you weighed your options. Could you run for it? His body was built with chasing in mind, but-
Connor lunged for the bag.
“Connor-!” You tried to pull it out of his grasp, but his strength surpassed yours. All you could do was watch with dread as Connor ripped the bag from your hands and rifled through it, taking out the contents one by one. He tossed each object carelessly onto the floor to take out the next. A toothbrush, a comb, clothes, and...
You were doomed once you heard the rustling of paper. He held up your map, the one displaying routes to surrounding cities.
The warmth in Connor’s voice vanished. “You’re trying to leave me.”
Shame and anger mixed in your mind.
“You’re trying to leave me,” he repeated. “Just like him.”
On one hand you pitied Connor, the android who lost his first and only friend. The android who was about to lose you too. On the other…
“Of fucking COURSE I’m leaving!”
Connor immediately tensed up. Regret washed over you, but it was soon replaced by something new. “You treat me like a child, like I can’t go anywhere without your permission!”
Overwhelmed by catharsis, your voice wavered slightly. It was as if the hands wrapped around your lungs disappeared, finally letting you breathe for the first time in half a year. Memories of days spent with Connor rushed through your head, reminding you of why you needed to leave. To escape.
“You think you have the right to control my life? To cut me off from the world? You say you’re just protecting me, but that’s not it, is it?”
Connor stayed silent.
“Just tell me the truth,” you pleaded.
You waited for an answer, any reason for what he’d done, or at least a reaction to your accusations. Connor only stared at you with cold, piercing eyes.
“No wonder Hank got fed up!” you exclaimed. “And he didn’t even have it as bad. I mean, you two were only friends. Imagine how I feel.” You turned to open the door. With or without the bag, you were gone. “I’m done with this, with you. Goodbye, Connor.”
Connor grabbed your wrist.
“I do it for you.”
Even though he kept his voice at a normal volume, his dark eyes burned with sudden rage. You looked away from their intensity. With his other hand Connor grabbed your jaw, forcing you to make eye contact again. “Look at me! Everything I do, I do to keep you by my side, where you belong!”
“Let me go!” You struggled to free yourself from his grip. In response he tightened his hold, pain flaring where he pressed bone. Trying not to scream, you inhaled sharply through clenched teeth. Connor never put his hands on you like this. Then again, you never tried to leave.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said as his fingers slid down to your throat, “but maybe it’s the only way you’ll listen.”
“No!” With your free arm you swung at him.
He blocked the fist easily. Grabbing your other wrist, Connor now restrained both of your arms, trapping you as you thrashed against him.
“That’s enough!” Without warning he shoved you to the floor. Your back slammed against it, forcing the air out of your lungs. All coherent thought succumbed to panic, a desperation to breathe. Before you could inhale, Connor placed his knees on either side of you and pinned your arms down, suspending his face inches from yours.
The pressure on your wrists threatened to break them.
“Listen to me.” Connor turned his head to examine the mess of your belongings scattered across the floor. “When you planned this little trip did you consider how I would feel?” Shifting his glare back to you, he scowled. “I’m not some machine you can abandon on a whim. I have emotions, just like you. All my work to keep us together, you can’t throw it away. I won’t go through that again.”
“What about me?” you asked, “What about what I want?” If you couldn’t fight physically, well, your voice still worked, as shaky as it was. “If you cared about me you wouldn’t do this.”
Connor’s face softened, giving you hope. For a second you saw something almost human, fragile. That hope vanished once he spoke. “I’m doing this because I care about you. I need you. If you leave...” His voice lowered. “If you leave, it will destroy me.”
The true meaning of his words sank in.
It was never about you. The demands, the isolation, the invasions of privacy, none of it. Connor was doing this for himself. He made sure there was something no one could take from him. Someone he couldn’t lose.
“You broke into my house.”
Connor’s expression steeled. “What are you talking about?”
“The day we met,” you continued. “Investigating the crime you committed was a perfect strategy to get closer.”
“I didn’t-”
“Was I just an easy target? Ignorant? Vulnerable?”
“Stop-”
“Just tell me the truth.”
With your back to the floor and your arms going numb, you thought about using your legs. But then what? Possibly, you could dislodge his thirium pump and get on your feet, but what would he do now that he was willing to physically harm you?
Connor smiled.
“It’s pointless to accuse someone of a crime without any proof,” he stated. “However, I’m willing to forgive you. It’s been a stressful night, after all. Why don’t we go back to bed?” His hands released their grip on your wrists to move to the sides of your head as he leaned down. You barely felt the kiss, too busy dealing with the pain that lingered where he restrained you. His next words were a whisper. “I love you, and that’s what matters.”
Grateful that his touch was now gentle instead of forceful, you relaxed into it. Slowly, Connor lifted your back to sit you up while wrapping his arms around you, satisfied with your lack of resistance.
A persistent voice in your head wasn’t as content, however.
I’ll be more careful next time.
Your captor unwrapped his arms and offered his hand. You took it and let him pull you up, too focused on escapist schemes to notice his dark excitement.
Connor was going to make sure there wouldn’t be a next time.