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When TJ turns the corner at the other end of the sidewalk, Cyrus swears he sees it happen in slow motion.
He takes in every detail; from the way TJ’s usually perfect hair is a little windswept to look like he's been in the ocean all day, to the sunglasses perched on his nose just above his freckles that perfectly frame his face, to the baggy hawaiian print shirt that would be hideous on literally anyone else and the blue board shorts that end just above his knees. Cyrus can actually see the flex of his calves as TJ walks over, and he thinks he might start hyperventilating.
Cyrus looks so, so lame by comparison, in his plain white shirt that he'd hastily drawn a huge S on and his stepfather’s colander stuck on top of his head. It doesn't help that his shirt has long sleeves, either - he's definitely sweating, and TJ is barely in his general vicinity. How is Cyrus ever going to cope with standing next to him all day? He's not.
“Hey, Underdog!” TJ calls when he's halfway down the path. He's waving wildly with one hand, the other gripping the drawstring of his backpack.
“Hey, Teej,” Cyrus says at a semi-normal volume, because even though he's come out of his shell since meeting TJ, he still isn't the kind of person who openly yells across crowds in public this early in the morning. That's more of TJ’s thing.
TJ speeds up, half-jogging up to Cyrus, who's stood next to a bike rack in an attempt to avoid blocking the flow of traffic as everyone else filters into the building. “You look great,” he says, beaming. He runs a hand through his hair, flipping a piece out of his eyes. Cyrus melts.
“Thanks. You look better.” Cyrus wants to die as soon as he says it, because it's so obvious. Oh my god.
“Nah, I could never! You’re the cute one in this friendship,” TJ deflects, and Cyrus exhales a sigh of relief. He's never been so grateful that TJ Kippen doesn't believe in toxic masculinity. (Or at least, not anymore.)
It's a blessing and a curse, though, because TJ just called him cute, so Cyrus’ brain is short circuiting again. “Um,” he says intelligently.
He's saved by the sudden appearance of Andi walking up to his left, lugging the prop for her Mount Rushmore costume along with her and accidentally smacking several people with it along the way. Cyrus and TJ shoot each other a look as they watch her apologize to the fourth person within a span of five minutes. “Hey, guys!” she says what feels like an eternity later as she walks up between them and plops her miniature Mount Rushmore at her feet. “Lemme see your costumes!”
She already heard they're doing a couple's costume (if you could even call it that) and Cyrus knows she won't fully get the joke, but she was there for their conversation about somersaults so she’ll understand on some surface level. Cyrus stands on TJ’s left and faces Andi obediently, and TJ nudges him while they wait for her to piece it together, like they're in on some great conspiracy. Cyrus hates how much he loves it.
“Oh! Somersault!” Andi says, snapping her fingers.
“Dude, you got it!” TJ answers just as enthusiastically, sticking his hand out for a fist bump, which Andi looks at weirdly but she does it anyway. “Get it? It's our thing.” He's still got that stupid grin on his face and if he doesn't quit Cyrus might just have to-
“TJ?”
The three of them turn in the direction of the voice, which Cyrus doesn't immediately recognize. He frowns when he sees who it is.
“Hey, Kira,” TJ says, suspiciously upbeat. “What's up?”
Kira comes to a stop on TJ’s other side, crossing her arms with a frown. “You ditched me?” She cuts Cyrus a nasty look, and TJ moves almost imperceptibly to position himself between them. Cyrus isn't sure why, because it's not like he'd ever initiate anything with Kira, and he doubts she even knows who he is.
“Yeah, sorry. I should've called.” TJ doesn't sound all that apologetic, but Cyrus can't really see his face. He exchanges a look with Andi, who raises her eyebrows, just as confused as he is.
“No, you should have done the costume with me. What even is that?” she spits, gesturing vaguely to all of TJ and Cyrus.
“Somersault,” Cyrus blurts, and Kira leans around TJ’s shoulder to glare daggers at him.
“That's so stupid.”
TJ moves to sling an arm around Cyrus’ shoulders, a protective hand on his bicep. God, TJ’s arms are long. Probably because he’s so tall. “It's not stupid, it's our thing. You wouldn't get it.” He smiles even bigger at her, but there's something taunting about it.
“You're right, I don't.” Kira looks them up and down, gaze lingering on TJ’s arm holding Cyrus close to his body. “And neither will anyone else.”
TJ turns to look down at Cyrus, the edges of his smile softening. “That's cool. As long as Cyrus gets it, I’m good.” He turns back to Kira with a smirk, and for a split second he looks like the old TJ, the TJ who said whatever he knew would piss someone off most. “No one’s gonna get your costume either now, though. That doesn't bother you, does it?”
Kira scoffs, arms dropping to her sides. “You're gonna regret this, Kippen.” She looks at Cyrus like a cat ready to pounce, and it sets Cyrus on edge.
TJ just shrugs, guiding Cyrus toward the school doors as he rubs a soothing hand against Cyrus’ arm. “I could never. Have fun explaining your costume!”
Cyrus feels like he's missing something as they walk to their lockers, but the bell rings before he can ask what just happened and then TJ’s darting off to class with a quick “See you later, Underdog!” and a pat to his shoulder before he's gone.
Cyrus doesn't stress about it all day. He really doesn't. So what if Kira was being even more unpleasant than usual and TJ was acting weird around her? It's not his business. That's between TJ and Kira. Totally not his problem, it has nothing to do with him.
He's really bad at convincing himself. The second the bell rings for lunch, he's launching himself in the direction of the cafeteria so fast he thinks his shoes might actually be leaving skid marks. He doesn't know exactly what he wants to say to TJ, but he feels like they need to address...something. Cyrus sighs. How is he ever gonna bring it up if he doesn't even know what he should be bringing up in the first place?
Buffy sits next to him first, and she can clearly see the puzzled look on her best friend’s face. “Hey, Cy. You okay?” she asks casually, like she isn't dying to know what's wrong and who she has to fight to fix it.
Cyrus looks up from his muffin (he's gotten a lot better at being assertive about his muffin needs) and shrugs. “I’m fine, why?”
He can see Buffy’s brows furrow underneath the pounds of grey face paint she's wearing. Andi did a good job on the blending though, he'll give her that. “You were so happy this morning, practically jumping up and down because of your costume, but now you're just…” She trails off, eyes flickering over Cyrus’ shoulder.
“Hey, guys! Sweet costumes,” Jonah says as he slides into the seat next to Cyrus.
“If it's so sweet, why'd you bail on us?” Buffy says, because she's petty.
Jonah is unfazed, of course. “Just didn't want to. It was cool of Andi to offer though!” he says with one of his signature grins.
Cyrus doesn't comment. Andi had asked Libby to join their Mount Rushmore last minute, and she'd happily accepted, so it worked out in the end. Andi had been kind of pushy about the whole thing, so he gets where Jonah’s coming from, on some level. He would hate to be ditched without any warning, though, so he gets where Buffy’s snide remark is coming from too.
Speaking of being ditched with no warning, why is Kira walking toward their lunch table?
“Why is Kira walking straight at us?” Buffy echoes Cyrus’ thoughts, because either she's psychic or they're just really in tune with each other. Or maybe she's just confused too.
Cyrus starts to say something, but Kira reaches the table and cuts him off, leaning with her hands against the edge of the tabletop. “You and TJ must be really close, huh?” are not the words he's expecting her to say.
He doesn't know what he'd been expecting her to say anyway, but he's still thrown off so he just nods. “Well yeah, we’re friends.”
Kira quirks an eyebrow at that. “Friends?”
Buffy and Jonah glance at each other, then at Cyrus, then at Kira, then back at Cyrus, and Cyrus really wishes they would stop being so blatantly baffled. He's totally lost, too, but he likes to think his face remains more or less neutral. “Yeah, friends,” he clarifies, because he has no idea what Kira wants him to say.
He still isn't sure if he's made the right choice when she says, “Oh. What if TJ wanted to be more?”
Buffy and Jonah are practically giving themselves whiplash at this point, heads swiveling back and forth between each other, Kira, and Cyrus like they can't decide who they should focus on. It looks exhausting. Good thing they're athletes.
If Cyrus was at a loss before, he definitely has no clue what to say to that, so he kind of just sits there in a daze trying to process it. And naturally, Andi chooses this exact moment to stroll up to the table, Mount Rushmore in tow. “Uh, hey. What's up?” she asks the table in general. She looks about as lost as everyone else, Kira not included.
Kira, for her part, just turns to Andi and gives her a saccharine smile that's all teeth. “TJ’s gay and has a crush on Cyrus,” she blurts without preamble.
Buffy instantly looks like she's trying to murder Kira with her eyes, Jonah starts ranting about how Kira can't just out someone without their consent, Andi hits Kira’s shin with Mount Rushmore on “accident,” and Cyrus - well, Cyrus just sits there. He feels...he doesn't know what he feels, really. There are way too many emotions clogging up his brain for him to make any rational decisions, so he does what he always does when he feels too much: he bolts and heads to the swings. His friends call after him in various degrees of distress, but he doesn't look back because he knows he won't like the look he sees on Kira’s face. Triumphant, smug. Like she thinks she's won; she's ruined TJ and Cyrus’ friendship for good so she can have TJ to herself for whatever the hell she thinks she needs him for.
Cyrus won’t tell her she's mistaken. He won't tell her anything, probably. As he rocks back and forth gently in his usual swing, he realizes that Kira isn't the person he needs to talk to right now.
TJ walks up behind him at the same moment Cyrus sends a text that they need to talk. “Hey, Cyrus.” He sits on his swing to Cyrus’ right and doesn't say anything else. So he probably knows what happened, then. TJ is never this serious.
“Kira told me you're gay, and that you like me,” Cyrus says, for transparency’s sake. “And I don't know if either of those things are true, but it's okay if they are. It's definitely not okay Kira told me without your consent, but I hope you know that I won't see you any differently now that I know.”
TJ kicks a wood chip from under his foot. “It’s true.” He looks up, and his eyes are unreadable, which is unsettling because TJ has always been a pretty open book. To Cyrus, anyway. “It’s all true.”
Cyrus stares at him, frozen, for what feels like several lifetimes before he takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry you were put in this position.”
TJ shakes his head. “I saw it coming, honestly.”
“You did?”
“Yeah.” TJ’s hands fidget with the chains of his swing. “I didn't tell you about it, but a couple days ago - after I asked you to do somersault with me - Kira asked me to do a costume with her.”
Cyrus thinks back to their conversation this morning, and nods. It makes a little more sense now. But only a little. “Okay.”
“I told her no, that I’d rather do a costume with you.”
“Okay.” Cyrus still doesn’t see how this-
“Then she got mad, implied she'd figured out I liked you. That it was weird for me to like you, and that I should like her instead. Or at least, it would be better if it looked like I did.”
Wait. “She tried to manipulate you using your sexuality?”
“Yeah.”
Cyrus is seeing red now. He stands up, pacing. “Did you know she would out you? Did she threaten you?”
TJ shakes his head, digging the toe of his shoe into the dirt. “No. That's why I didn't go to Metcalf, because she never actually said anything homophobic.”
Cyrus stops in his tracks. “Teej, just because she didn't say anything explicitly homophobic doesn't mean she wasn't being homophobic.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The way TJ hangs his head, eyes downcast, makes Cyrus’ heart shatter. TJ Kippen should never look this broken. He closes the distance between them with two long strides. “Hey, look at me,” he says, cupping TJ’s jaw in his palms, meeting his eyes. “I've said it before, and I'll say it again: there is nothing wrong with you. You’re the victim here, you didn't do anything wrong, and no one should ever make you feel bad about who you are.”
TJ smiles, and it's weak, but it's progress. “Thanks, Underdog.”
“Are you gonna tell Metcalf now? I mean, you don't have to if you aren't comfortable with it, obviously, but outing you is kind of a huge deal.” Something occurs to Cyrus that terrifies him. “Oh my god, wait. Are you worried about safety? Like, are you gonna be okay if your parents find out? Because -”
TJ puts a comforting hand on Cyrus’ shoulder. “Hey, Cy, chill. My family already knows.”
“Oh.”
TJ smiles again, and it's more genuine this time. “I told them last month, because I wanted to stop...hiding, I guess. They took it pretty well.”
“I’m so glad.” Cyrus wraps his arms around TJ’s neck, squeezing him into a hug. “I'm so proud of you.”
“Yeah, well, I still didn't have the guts to come out to you.”
Cyrus pulls back, taking TJ’s face in his hands again. “That's okay. Coming out is hard, and it doesn't always get easier the more you do it, but you can do it whenever you're ready. And you'll be okay. You are okay.”
TJ’s eyes look suspiciously watery, but he holds Cyrus’ gaze. “You’re right. You’re always right.”
Cyrus grins at him. “No, I’m not. I’m just surrounded by therapists all the time.” TJ laughs at that, wiping at his eyes with the heel of his hands. Cyrus wants to kiss him. But this isn't really the time for that; there's something he has to do first. “Also? I'm speaking from experience. I’m gay, too.”
TJ’s eyes dart up to meet his. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
This time it's TJ who wraps Cyrus in a hug, standing up and lifting Cyrus’ feet off the ground as he holds him against his chest. Cyrus has to hold onto the dumb colander on his head to make sure it doesn't go flying off with the force of TJ’s affection. “Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me, Underdog.”
TJ sets him down with a soft smile, and Cyrus beams up at him. “Of course I trust you, idiot. You're one of my favourite people.”
TJ acts offended. “Only one of them? Who are the others? I’ll fight them to assert my dominance.”
“You wouldn't fight Buffy and you know it.”
“You’re right. I'd lose.”
Cyrus tilts his head, pensive. “You know, the old TJ Kippen would never have admitted to losing to a girl.”
TJ nods. “Good thing I'm not the old TJ, right?” he asks, flashing Cyrus one of those smiles that make him feel like he's gonna throw up from all the butterflies dancing around in his stomach.
“Yeah, it is. I like the new TJ a lot.” TJ smiles at him again, but Cyrus doesn't think he really gets what he's trying to say. He's never actually told someone he likes them. (Unless you count Iris, because he did like her and he did tell her, but that's hardly relevant to this situation so it doesn't count, does it?) He doesn't know how to do this.
Cyrus reaches out, grabbing TJ’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “Uh. Cyrus?” TJ sounds as confused as he looks. It's adorable.
“Yeah, Teej?”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you to tell Metcalf about what happened, if that's okay?” Cyrus starts walking toward the school building, tugging TJ along.
TJ goes willingly, nodding forcefully. “I wanna tell him. I don't want Kira to do this to anyone else.”
“That's valiant of you, but are you sure you’re okay?”
“I mean, yeah. I was mentally prepared for it, and I’m not in danger, and honestly I was gonna come out to you today anyway.”
“Oh, did you want somersault to be an actual couple’s costume?” Cyrus teases.
The blush that crawls up TJ’s face is deep and instantaneous. “Kind of, yeah.”
Cyrus squeezes his hand. “I kind of did, too.”
The look of pure adoration TJ gives him as he slings an arm over Cyrus’ shoulders is the most beautiful thing Cyrus has ever seen. “Then will you kind of be my boyfriend?”
Cyrus shakes his head a little before leaning it lightly against TJ’s shoulder as they walk. “No. I’ll absolutely be your boyfriend, though.”
TJ pulls Cyrus closer to his side, moving his arm down to wrap around Cyrus’ waist. “That's what I was hoping you'd say.”