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Adam and his friends had a bet. They were trying to figure out how long the angel and demon, that had helped him stop the end of the world, had been husbands, as they were obsualisly married. Pepper said about 100 years (she believed they were idiots who wouldn’t know someone loved them if it was on a sign taped to that person’s chest), Wensleydale said at least 1000 years (he believed that, as they had known each other for 6000 years, it made the most sense), Brian said 2222 (because he liked the number 2), and Adam said 666 (mainly because one of them was a demon and as he was the anti-christ he found it fitting).
All of them were eager to win as quite a bit of candy was on the line. The first person they went to was Anathema. She had decided to stay in town a bit long and was currently giving her boyfriend a lecture about government conspiracies when they found her. “And by the way,” She was saying as The Them walked into her house, “birds are a complete lie made by the government to spy and keep tabs on all of us.”
“Anathema!” Adam quickly cried so his brain didn’t start getting ideas to make all birds government spies. “Do you know how long Aziraphale and Crowley have been married? We’ve got a bet.”
“No idea, why don’t you ask them?”
“Ok, bye.”
“Bye. So like I was saying-” Adam quickly ran home and found his telephone, with his friends right behind him. He pulled out the paper the angel had given him (“In case you ever need me.”) and put in the number.
“Hello, this is Zira Fell may I ask who’s-”
“Hi Mr. Aziraphale it’s Adam. I had a question.”
“Of course! What-’”
“How long have you and Mr. Crowley been married?” The angel went quiet, and it was a little bit before he spoke.
“W-well you know.” He laughed nervously. “Um, we’ve been married for a little while the ah years just go right by for us.” Another laugh. “Well, um, it was nice talking to you Adam but I have to go bye.” He hung up. Adam put down the phone and his friends, who had been listening in, looked disappointed.
“So, does no one get the candy?” Asked Wensleydale.
“I think I should get the candy.” Said Peper. “After all I was right about them being idiots.”
“We’ll split up the candy, evenly. And if there’s one extra then Peper can get it.” Adam decided. The others decided this worked for them, at least they were still getting candy.
Aziraphale, meanwhile, was getting no candy and was currently panicking. “Are we married is that a thing?!” He mumbled, pacing back and forth and tugging on one on his wings. “Can humans sense when others are married? Did we accidentally get married one night and not even realize it?!” Aziraphale decided that only one other person could answer this question and a few seconds later was in Crowley’s flat.
“CROWLEY WAKE UP!” The demon fell out of his bed with a shirek and landed on his face. He quickly turned around to face the angel and twisted the sheets around him in the process.
“Azira what the hell?!” Crowley screamed.
“CROWLEY ARE WE MARRIED?”
“...um.”
“OH GOD WE’RE MARRIED.” The angel collapsed to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest. His wings curled around him. “I’ve missed so many anniversaires! I’m such a bad husband!” He cried.
Shit . The demon tried to stand up, tripped on the sheets, tried to stand up again, failed, gave up, and just crawled over to the angel. “No no no no no angel you’re a great husband! I mean- you would be! If we were married! Which we aren’t! We never got married!”
Aziraphale sniffled, and wiped his eyes. “We didn’t?”
“No, we didn’t. Why did this even come up?”
“Adam asked me how long we’ve been married.”
“Oh...I see...you want some tea angel?”
“Tea would be nice.”
“A cup of tea comin’ up.” The demon head towards the kitchen, leaving the angel alone. Aziraphale smiled. Now that he thought of it, being married to Crowley didn’t sound too bad.