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Jumin Han had never thought in his life he couldn't have everything he wanted. Whether it was through his money or his words, everything would fall softly into place, like the first snow of winter. He never thought he would lose anything, but of course, one day the snow will melt away in the presence of the Sun.
The smell of mint seemed to stay with Jumin everywhere he went, and it quickly became as natural as the very air he breathed. He never felt any possessiveness towards the soft turquoise forever in the corner of his eye. He felt that was the extent of their relationship: a stable plane of trust. Jihyun had been next to him since childhood, and he never felt the tenderness of their relationship. His very presence felt like an obligation to Jumin.
And so he lost Jihyun.
The smell of mint had been replaced by the strong smell of a wild daffodil. Before he realized it, those two had shined so bright his words melted away.
At first he despised her, Rika. She had stolen what was rightfully his, like a cruel early spring, her warmth had melted away his bed of snow. Her presence forecast a snowstorm of racing thoughts. Perhaps he should've been more possessive. Perhaps he should've trapped Jihyun in a cage of his affection. When did this all start? Perhaps it all started when Jihyun took on that silly pen name V. And then he began to despise V. He had betrayed their trust. What was their relationship to him? What was all the years they've spent together to him? A defiant seed of spite had been planted in the endless strings of confusion wrapped tightly around Jumin's heart.
However in the tangles of yarn and the poisonous roots making its way through them two facts had so forcefully and terribly burrowed themselves into his untouched heart:
The Daffodil was a flower of selfishness, and
the Mint was an invasive weed of depredation.
Oh, how he prayed the bitter winter would bury the horrible plants in an unforgiving frost. His eyes murky and the vicious roots boring itself deeper and deeper into his mind. Tainted was his heart and mind. He felt the grey in his life turning to black, and behind his unchanging face he was drowning in misery.
But the Sun was not so kind to leave him to rot in the black snow.
Then he met Rika, the cause of his despair. V had quickly introduced them and left irresponsibly. Jumin turned to leave as well, but Rika stopped him.
"'Jumin'..? Why don't we get to know each other?" she grinned enthusiastically, and it was hard for Jumin to say 'No'. Especially since this was V's woman. Her overbearing manner reminded him of the women that would seduce his father and pretend to care about him. Was this the type of woman V liked? Jumin felt an unpleasant feeling around Rika similar to his past 'mothers'. She led him to a quaint cafe filled with people. It was loud and bustling with energy, with few tables opened. He once again questioned the taste of commoners. It would've been much better to open a winery here. He took note of that.
She sat him down at a very specific table, he could tell as she breathed a sigh of relief to see it open. "What do you want to drink?" she asked. He looked around. How would he know what to drink when there was no menu in front of him?
"I don't understand your question. Where are the menus?" Her eyes widened in response and then she giggled.
"I suppose since you're V's closest friend you would live in a completely different world from us," she said while laughing. She pointed to the large display of various coffees and cakes above the cashier. He sighed at commoners' unhealthy obsession with how many concoctions one could make with caffeine.
"I'll just get whatever you're getting." She smiled uncomfortably at his cold behavior before getting up to order. She came back a few minutes later with two hot cups of coffee in both hands, placing one in front of Jumin. He picked it up and took a sip. Black. Unexpected for a girl with this much energy. He instinctively felt she was more than meets the eye. He didn't let his distaste for her show on his expression.
"You don't like me. At all," her tone was dark. She was cunning, he gave her that. "I can tell by your eyes."
"It's not that I dislike you. We've just met after all," he said calmly. What would someone like her want with V? Surely she wasn't with him for his love. Most likely for money. The Daffodil was a selfish flower after all. But what did it matter to him? The seed grew.
"That was a lie. You absolutely despise me." Jumin grew impatient with this woman. What was her objective, telling him that? She looked outside the window. "You know, this is where I had my first conversation with V." Was she trying to mock him? "V is very gentle and patient, and bears everything on himself. But you're different," she turned to face him. "You're rather selfish aren't you?"
"I can't deny that," Jumin smiled with distaste. He was ready to leave at anytime.
"Even so, you really do care about V, to hate me this much." Now this surprised Jumin. "V's nature probably worries you."
"What do you want to gain from telling me all this?" Jumin interjected.
"Your friendship," Rika answered confidently. Her eyes stared at him, unwavering.
"What??" Jumin knit his brows together trying to process what the hell she meant.
"I want to start a nonprofit funding organization. V will be co-founding it with me." Her eyes were determined. "I could tell from the moment we met you hated me. V introducing us was in his own hopes of recruiting you into it."
Jumin blinked. Since when was V so interested in helping others?
"With your current feelings for me, it's obvious you're going to be against this. Regardless of your feelings towards it, we will start this organization. We already have several potential members. However if V's, no, Jihyun's closest friend rejected it, Jihyun would be very sad. You care for him too, right?" Jumin stared into her eyes. He could feel her firmness through her voice.
"Tell me.." Jumin peered at her with the same intensity, "Why do you care so much about Jihyun?" Her expression wilted slightly.
"Jihyun.. is the only one who has ever told me he loves me. If I can't meet a tenth of his generosity, then what kind of person am I?" Jumin assessed her with his eyes. She wasn't a dumb girl, she had some scars of her own, and she cared for Jihyun. He felt like time stand still as he tried to answer the question echoing inside his head. Can I trust her?
As if answering yes, he smiled and said, "Explain your plan for this charity." Her face lit up.
They discussed her plan, and as expected it was very thorough. As Jumin listened to her and watched her actions, he could tell why Jihyun fell in love with her. While they had only been talking to each other for a few minutes, he could already feel he could trust her. She was special, he had to admit, though it was painful.
"I see.. this party would provide many connections to C&R. I'll think about it," Jumin said, pretending business was the only reason he'd consider it. "However, why did you try to provoke me?"
Rika thought about it for a while.
"I suppose to... make you comfortable enough to change expressions around me, ehehe." He sighed, and she smiled brightly in response. "And I was successful in doing so!" she added.
That day Jumin took to note, that the Daffodil was also withering.
The seed's roots grew weaker.
"We haven't seen each other in a long time," V remarked, taking a sip of the wine he had brought back from his trip. And whose fault is that? Jumin's expression darkened ever so slightly.
"It appears so," he said somewhat standoffish, bringing the wine to his lips. Of course, V had chosen a light wine. Jumin tapped the glass with his finger impatiently. V laughed awkwardly.
"I'm sorry." Even that was annoying about V, the way he said sorry and refused to meet Jumin's eyes. Exactly how a weed should be, shriveling away when confronted with anything. It annoyed Jumin in another sense, how Jihyun would take everything onto himself, what was he, God?
"Don't apologize. Surely there is a reason we're here. It's rare of you to call me over." Jumin chose his words carefully, secretly hoping his every word ever so slightly pricked V. And he was successful, he could see V's flustered face and read his emotions so clearly. That was the relationship they had. However it was one-sided, his love was betrayed. He sighed, quickly finishing his first glass and pouring himself a refill. He wanted to get drunk enough for this painful conversation to go over his head.
"A reason..? Of course logical Jumin would need a reason to see a friend." V smiled, his eyes slowly drifting towards the hard word table instead of Jumin's eyes. He rested his head in his hand, his body facing Jumin more. He thought for a few seconds. "There is one reason."
"I'll humor you."
"Lately you- or maybe we've been more distant." Jumin paused. They hadn't talked face to face in so long it was hard to remember the sensation of being understood again. He turned away, not wanting to be read again.
"Yes, we have.." Jumin spoke softly. He was falling for V's betrayal again. He began to blame the wine for his uncertainty. Jihyun often told him when he was drunk he was sentimental. Jumin inwardly cursed at himself for thinking of the past.
"I've been thinking about this for a while, but it was mainly Rika who urged me to sit and have another bottle of wine with you." Jumin stayed quiet, observing V. He looked sad. If Jumin could see V's, could he see Jumin's sadness? "I was worried it was going to be awkward, and it was, haha. Maybe it was our jobs, or my relationship with Rika. But the distance between us has grown unnaturally."
"It certainly is awkward," Jumin joked. V laughed. It had been a long time since Jumin saw V laugh. Perhaps it could've melted Jumin's snow storm away, if he hadn't betrayed Jumin by leaving him for Rika.
For the first time in a while, Jumin felt at peace. This pointless back and forth between him and V was filled with meaning that was just absent from anyone else. Not even a personal talk with his father would make him feel this warmth sprouting: slowly undoing the knots around his heart, the snow and the roots melting away.
"Being Jumin's exclusive friend is a wonderful thing," V said, beaming. Was it on purpose? Was the Sun so cruel to melt away his secure ice prison? As Jumin remembered his joy, he once again remembered his pain. Without the hateful seed's anchoring roots in the wounds of his heart, it was broken.
Jumin thought about last night's events. The word 'friend' had forced Jumin to experience emotions and face truths he didn't want to acknowledge. He couldn't help but wonder, had V really betrayed him? Jumin knew he had not, because to V, this was a 'friendship'. His despair was one-sided. Chef RamG served him his breakfast, and Jumin thanked him. Jumin's eyes drifted over to the mint leaves sitting upon several cut fruits. And so Jumin once again remembered, taking a bite into the tender green leaf, that the Mint was bittersweet.