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Mark remembers the first time he saw Xuxi. He remembers seeing a tall, lanky, green-bean of a boy with brown-ish hair that stuck up in all directions toddling over to where he sat against the brick library wall. Xuxi just sat with him, cracking jokes until the break was over. Mark’s classmates that walked past gave him strange looks, never even acknowledging Xuxi. Mark thought it was strange, Xuxi told him not to worry about it.
-
Mark always giggles and rambles on about Xuxi to his Mom when the two of them would sit down at the dinner table, in between his mother’s deep sighs and the quiet moments when she’d drop her cutlery to put her head in her hands. Last night, she suggested Mark bring Xuxi over for a playdate after school.
Xuxi said yes instantly, pulling mark into a tight hug and ruffling his hair.
So Mark and Xuxi stand outside the Lee family’s front door, Mark’s backpack straps falling off one of his shoulders as he bounces on the soles of his shoes.
Miss Lee opens the front door, seeing her son grin up at her with sparkling eyes, like they’re filled with stars and planets.
“Mom! This is Xuxi!” Mark gestures to the space next to him. His mother’s face falls into a frown, with a raised eyebrow and half-open mouth.
“Who’s Xuxi, Markie?” she asks him. Mark frowns back at her, turning to Xuxi. He shrugs at Mark, silent.
“Him, Mom! He’s really tall, it’s hard to miss him,” Mark giggles. Miss Lee’s eyes flit around, an artificial smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
“Um, sure, Markie. Does Xuxi want to come in? Mom just needs to make a quick phone call,” she says. Mark turns to Xuxi, who nods at him, which Mark passes onto his mother.
Mark and Xuxi play in the living room, Xuxi keeps knocking over the Hot Wheels track. Mark hears his mother talking in the kitchen, he overhears Xuxi’s name, followed by his father’s name, and then the word ‘appointment’. He asks Xuxi what that word means, Xuxi just shrugs and grabs a toy car out of Mark’s hand.
-
Mark’s legs dangle off the bench, the metal burns cool against the back of his legs and the sun beats down on him from its perch in the sky. His eyes scan the playground, some kids are throwing sea-themed buckets at each other in the sandpit, others are having a competition to see who can hang off the monkey bars for the longest. His yellow bucket hat half-flops in front of his eyes and his shoelaces become more undone with every swing of his legs. Xuxi is quieter today, giving Mark one-word responses, staring at the bark below them.
“What’s wrong?” Mark asks him, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder. Xuxi feels light and airy, like what the clouds in the sky looks like. He hears the kids around him laughing, he feels their stares burn into his back and his face gets itchy and fiery.
“I don’t think your Mom likes me,” Xuxi replies, slouching back and kicking up the bark. “She kept forgetting I was even there.”
Mark frowns. “She was saying to me that she thought you were nice. Mom’s going through a lot right now. She’s always doing paperwork,” he says. Xuxi nods.
“I ‘spose.”
They sit in silence together. Mark still hears everyone laughing.
-
Mark lands on his palms and knees, they feel like a dozen wasps are stinging them at once. His blood stains the light grey concrete and tears start to prick at his eyes. The other boys run away, luckily heading in the opposite direction of Mark’s house.
“Mark, are you okay?” Xuxi shouts, Mark can hear his sneakers beating against the concrete, picking up the pace every second.
“N-no,” Mark replies, choking on his own sobs. He feels Xuxi hoisting him up, being careful not to touch his hands. Xuxi then slings Mark’s backpack over his shoulder, adding it to his own. “I can carry it,” Mark says, his voice is cracked and shaky.
“I’m taking it,” Xuxi replies, putting his arm around Mark and helping him hobble to his front door.
Xuxi sits him down on his doorstep, the sun glaring behind him makes him look almost opaque. He says he has to leave, knocking on the Lee’s front door before he disappears into the sun-dappled streets. Mark looks around to see that his mother’s car isn’t in the open garage.
The next thing Mark sees is a blur of red.
He tries to yell out to Xuxi, to stop him in time, but the words are stuck in his throat. By the time his mother’s car has stopped in front of their house, it’s too late. The tears sting Mark’s eyes and he buries his face in his still bloodied hands. The sobs wrack his body and he feels buzzy and fuzzy and like he’s covered in pins and needles.
“Mom! Y-You hit him! X-Xuxi-” Mark cries, running over to the front of the car.
“Mark? What are you doing?” Miss Lee says as she steps out of the car, walking over to her son who kneels on the road, hunched over nothing.
“Wake up!” he sobs. “Xuxi, please? Please wake up?” he pleads.
“Markie, let’s get inside, okay? Mom’s gonna call someone to come help,” she says, picking Mark up and carrying him inside.
He reaches out for him.
-
Mark barely pays attention to the man in front of him the next day. The couch feels as itchy and uncomfortable as the man’s brownish-grey jacket looks. His glasses look like half-moons and they’re perched on the very end of his nose. The man asks him questions, some of them are about his father, a man whose face Mark can barely picture. Others are about Xuxi, and some are about how he got those grazes on his hands. He asks more questions when Mark tells him about how Xuxi helped him that day, questions to which Mark doesn’t know the answer. He pushes past the words ‘imaginary’ and ‘not real’, all he can think about is whether or not Xuxi will be okay.