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English
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Published:
2019-06-22
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1,774
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1000 Days

Summary:

"Late at night, he’d overhear sobs and wishes for parents to return, for the hug of an older sibling.

Toi doesn’t long for either. He lost those connections long ago."

Toi serves his sentence and reflects on the one connection he doesn't want to ever lose.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

Day 1

His hair was his defense mechanism. It allowed him to hide: from the world, from himself.

He doesn’t budge at all as they shave it off.


 

Day 7

The first week was always the hardest the guards told him. The others that were incarcerated at the same time as him certainly seemed to be having it rough.

Late at night, he’d overhear sobs and wishes for parents to return, for the hug of an older sibling.

Toi doesn’t long for either. He lost those connections long ago.

His first week is spent in apathy.

He doesn’t shed a tear.


 

Day 30

There was only a week-long adjustment period for the new inmates before the detention center’s routine set in. Toi was glad for it. He didn’t think he could handle twiddling his thumbs doing nothing much longer. It wasn’t in his nature.

During the week they’d go to school - or what could pass as that in this place. It was utterly pointless as he’d probably have to enroll as a first year student when he got out of this place anyway.

On weekends the wardens had them work on practical skills and crafts.

It’s with the utmost irony that today they were each set up at a station to put together sachets. Of all things in the world that they could’ve gotten to work on and it had to be this.

The warden goes on a five minute spiel about safety first - the same one he’s given each weekend they’ve done this - even though they’re not dealing with anything sharp. Then they get to work.

Toi can’t help thinking of the times Kazuki dressed as Sara, carrying around a pink sachet. It’s the first time he’s had a thought of the other that wasn’t fleeting.

There were many good memories - even though he wouldn’t admit it at the time - of Kazuki in that outfit: the date that certainly wasn’t a date, his first hug that wasn’t from family, scheming a plan so he could pose as Sara at the meet and greet. Toi finds himself with a soft smile. It’s the first one he’s dawned in weeks.

The warden tells him to stop looking like a love-struck school girl and get back to work.


 

Day 100

There’s no sense in keeping track of time in a place like this. So he doesn’t.

But he was booked towards the end of summer so the persistent chill and shorter days let him know that his birthday is coming up.

That’s when he gets his first letter.

Before he turned himself in he told Kazuki and Enta that they didn’t need to worry about him. That he didn’t expect them to visit nor write to him because he wasn’t going to write back to them. After all, a three year sentence was nothing in the grand scheme of things. Enta took it well enough but Kazuki - of course - protested with all his might, exclaiming that this time was different because he knew who Toi was and three years would seem like forever.

Toi knew deep down that Kazuki wouldn’t be able to leave him alone.

He chances a look at the calendar in the common room - his first time doing so - and sees that Kazuki’s letter was dated exactly a week prior. He also notices that his birthday is indeed tomorrow.

The letter is superficial at best - really, what should he expect from a middle schooler - and it seems Enta had a hand in writing it as well, if the formal and concise phrasing was anything to go by. It relayed all the happenings of Asakusa in general as well as with the duo. All kappa excitement died down when they defeated Otter and they’d gone back to their normal routines before Keppi uprooted them.

Yes, the letter is superficial but Toi knows the timing of it couldn’t be a coincidence; that this was Kazuki’s olive branch letting him know that he wouldn’t be forgotten or abandoned, even though he’s only been gone for a few months.

After reading it, he put the letter back in the envelope it arrived in but not before noticing there was something else in it: a small photograph. His rare, soft smile returned when he realized who and what it was. It was that stupid picture he took of Kazuki in Sara’s outfit eating soba. He was flustered back then, and even now he felt a slight blush creep up his face at the memories this moment held. It was when he started to realize that being around Kazuki wasn’t so bad and more than that, he realized he liked being around the other.

The back of the photo had a message and it was anything but superficial: Happy birthday, Toi! Don’t forget about us while you’re gone!! - Kazuki♡

He thought while he put both letter and photo under his thin mattress, how could I ever forget you?


Toi thought the letters would only arrive during holidays or any other special occasions as the next one didn’t come till around Christmas time; but the new year brought with it a stream of letters with biweekly frequency.

How does he always have this much to say?

Toi didn’t reply much - if at all - to many of the letters in the first few months. (Unsurprisingly his lack of verboseness in person translated to the written word as well. He also couldn’t think of anything to write that would either play him off as uncaring or betray his emotions too much.) The letters he received on Valentine’s and White Day - noted without any of Enta’s influence - left him so speechless that he couldn’t even write a letter back if he wanted.

How could Kazuki not be embarrassed with half the things he says?

Oh how Toi wished for his long hair back to hide the furious blush on his face. The boys around him joked about the letters being from girlfriend and Toi wanted to hide even more.

Luckily no pictures were sent with those letters.


 

Day 365

As the year mark of his sentence rolled around, he didn’t feel any sense of accomplishment, and why would he? He was in here for less than honorable reasons anyway.

One year down, two to go.

The letters still came and responses were still not given. That didn’t seem to deter Kazuki in anyway though. Each letter started off with mundanities that Toi really couldn’t care less about it but the subsequent paragraphs would always get more heartfelt. Giving Toi a little insight into Kazuki’s feelings for him. And these feelings couldn’t have been spur of the moment; how could Kazuki develop feelings when he was essentially writing to a ghost.

No, these feelings had to have stemmed far back. And with each letter, Kazuki’s own realizations would be apparent in the little nuances he would include. It was cathartic for Toi as well.

It only makes sense that after the drama with their own respective brothers and the excitement of the kappa adventures died down that they’d have time to self-reflect on the connections they had. But Toi thought any embers of a crush were just on his part but it seems they’ve caught fire on Kazuki’s end as well. Surprising, since he’s pretty sure he still hasn’t acknowledged Enta’s crush; he thought he was just oblivious to romance in general.

In another two years, will these feelings still bloom or wilt?


 

Day 500

Five-hundred. A clean and even number. A better number is one-thousand, though

At least that’s what his counselor told him.

The committee of the detention center decided that his good behavior thus far would be rewarded with an early release. Which was a little ironic since it was barely any shorter than the full three-year sentence - but he killed someone and they couldn’t let him off the hook that easily even with the best behavior.

So 500 days marked his half way point. Just a little over a year to go.

It also marks the first time he wrote a letter back.


 His first letter sent was a catalyst and after that he would exchange letters with Kazuki and really talk to him. Kazuki would still fill him in on what was going on in Asakusa (luckily still no sightings of kappa or otters).

Neither still has outright declared their feelings but it was obvious in the little things they’d write to each other. Kazuki still sent pictures every so often (and, damn, was he not maturing to be attractive...he certainly couldn’t pass for Sara now with his sharpened jawline and broader shoulders) and Toi cursed that they weren’t allowed to take pictures in the detention center. Kazuki would’ve gotten a kick out of his buzzcut.

(As his sentence drew closer to an end they let him grow his hair out - another reward for good behavior - and he knew for damn sure he wasn’t ever going to shave it off again. Ah, missed opportunities.)

And even though his shortened sentence seemed like a joke, he was glad for it in the end because each remaining day in here and not out there dragged on forever.

Letters weren’t enough anymore. He needed to see, hear, and feel Kazuki.


 

Day 1000

As Toi was leaving Morinaka, the guard made sure to scold him about never coming back. He only responded with a curt nod.

And just like that, he was free.

1000 days did nothing really to change the city around him. The bridges and buildings that were impacted during the Otter fight were repaired as it never happened to begin with. The streets were busy as always with passersby. His absence didn’t change the city one bit - maybe at 14 he would’ve expected it to but being 17 has matured him quite a bit, thank you very much.

He really had no destination in mind - through their letters, he and Kazuki made plans for the following weekend - as he wandered around the city. He just wanted to feel the fresh air and immerse himself in the hustle and bustle that was sorely lacking in Morinaka.

But his feet drew him to a familiar location: Azumabashi Bridge.

He was free - from many things now - and the only thing he could think to do was jump in the water below with reckless abandon.

He felt twin splashes above not long after. It surprised him but he should’ve known.

Kazuki would find him anywhere.

“Welcome back, Toi!”

This was his third chance at this connection and he wouldn’t ruin it for anything.

After all, spring is the time for flowers to bloom. 

Notes:

I imagined that Toi started his sentence at 14 - close to summers end, with his birthday in early November - and would get out at 17. Since I shortened his sentence a little bit, he gets out during spring time instead of a few months in summer.

Thanks for reading!