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It just didn’t feel right without it being there beside him. The shirt had been a pretty constant companion to him ever since their first encounter with Claw, Hanazawa had told him to keep it then, with his arm raised behind his head, moving his shoulders to and fro nervously.
“You should keep them, the clothes I mean.” he’d said quietly, they were in front of the Kageyama household, Ritsu had already said his goodbyes and headed inside, Shigeo though, hung back, unsure of what to do with the borrowed clothing.
“Oh?” Shigeo was twiddling his fingers together
“They fit you! Better than they did me, keep them, they’re yours.” and then they were.
Shigeo wore the shirt once after that. It was on a cool fall weekend, the pants were nice and warm, and the shirt was airy and kept him from overheating, it was the perfect combo. The shirt’s material was lovely as well, it was a soft cotton polyester blend and had a nice stretch to it. Most of the other shirts Hanazawa owned were also this type of fabric, he had sat through enough of Hanazawa’s ‘fashion show’ nights at their sleepovers to know what his closet was like. On these nights (for it wasn’t all of their sleepovers he did this) was when he would show off some outfits he had planned for the next few weeks; mob had grown quite fond of Hanazawa’s unique fashion choices, the bright colors and random nature of the outfits appealed to him, and they complemented Hanazawa so well.
Shigeo looked back at the empty spot next to him on the futon. Usually, the shirt would sit there pulled over a pillow, which Shigeo would cling to all night as if it were a stuffed animal. This had begun the second time he was planning to wear it.
He was planning out an outfit that night, it was something Hanazawa had gotten him into the habit of doing. His family was going on a picnic the next day, a nice day in the park, and since it would be the last warmish day of the fall season he had wanted to wear something appropriate. He’d picked up the hanger that held the shirt fondly and thought of Hanazawa. It had been a few weeks since they’d seen each other. Mob certainly missed him, I wonder...does he miss me too? He held the shirt up to his face and buried himself into the blue cloth, it was so soft...
He hadn’t given it a good wash since that night it had been given to him, it hadn’t really needed it even after all it had seemingly gone through. It didn’t matter to him that it was probably in need of one now, however, because he could pick up a vague and familiar scent as he held it up to his face. Ah I see , he thought, pulling away from it for a moment, that’s the way Hanazawa smells . He could feel a flood of warmth rushing to his face and stuck out the arm that was holding the hanger away from him robotically. He stared at the shirt wide-eyed for a few moments and swallowed away the lump in his throat. He didn’t really know what to do at that point, why would I care if it smells like him...shouldn’t I wash it or something? But his arm held fast in its position.
Slowly, he slipped the shirt off of its hanger and placed it gently on his pillow. I’ll decide what to do with it when I have my outfit picked out, that’s it. He didn’t know why his face was still so warm, even after having picked out his clothes for the next day and having gotten ready for bed. He crawled underneath his comforter and stared at the still brightly lit ceiling, trying to avoid the fact that the shirt sat right next to his head, untouched since about an hour ago. He flipped off the lights with his powers and turned away from the shirt, a feeling in his stomach wriggling uncomfortably around. I don’t...want to wash it, he thought after a while, though I'm not sure why . It was approaching a very late hour and still, he was not able to sleep. Finally, after a few minutes of arguing with himself silently, he flipped around to his other side, the blue fabric, now very dark in the absence of the fluorescents, taunting him with its scent. The presence of it there was comforting though, it made him think of how soundly he always slept at Hanazawa’s whenever he went over. He is my friend and I’m comfortable around him...that’s probably why, thought Shigeo, but the wriggling sensation in his stomach seemed to disagree somewhat. He finally drifted off.
Each night since then it had escalated. He began to touch it whenever he needed comfort or hold it tightly whenever he missed Hanazawa after not seeing him for a while; finally one day he decided to button it over one of his pillows since he liked to hold onto one while he slept anyway. Ever since then he’d had Hanazawa’s comforting scent lingering near him as he slept, and it was almost impossible to get to sleep without it now.
Claw destroying his apartment was aggravating enough for Hanazawa to deal with, but he had lost nearly all his clothing in the blast. He’d been staying with Reigen for the past few weeks and every time Shigeo had seen him he’d over apologized about being in the same outfit more than once.
“Hanazawa, you don’t have to apologize for something silly like that.” Shigeo had said to him as they sipped away at their boba tea. They had been in a shopping mall earlier that day, Hanazawa had been talking excitedly about how he was well overdue for a good spree. He frowned when Shigeo had finished his sentence, looking down at his tea with his brow furrowed, it made Shigeo's face tint with warmth.
“It might seem silly I know. It’s just. Important to me.” Hanazawa said quietly. Shigeo, not being an extremely materialistic person hadn’t understood the weight of his strange apologies until just then. An important part of how Hanazawa expressed himself had been taken from him,
ah, now I see. “I understand, sorry for not seeing that before.” Shigeo placed a reassuring hand on Hanazawa’s shoulder and he looked up from his drink, the warm smile from earlier back on his face. Shigeo had to look away before too long, he could feel the heat in his face rising bit by bit. “Uh. so...do you remember those clothes you gave to me a while back?” he asked, changing the subject somewhat.
“Yeah! Weren’t they destroyed in the house fire though?” asked Hanazawa, apparently Shigeo had piqued his interest.
“Oh, the pants were,” he continued on very carefully as to avoid the embarrassing reason the shirt had escaped the blaze, “the shirt made it out okay though,”
“Oh?” Hanazawa’s expression turned slightly mischievous and Shigeo had to turn his full head away this time to escape revealing the shade of pink his face had surely turned. He heard Hanazawa giggle behind him. “And how exactly did it accomplish that?”
Sometimes, the shirt traveled with him to school, only on the days when he needed extra support. A few days before all of the claw stuff happened he’d brought it in his bag and let it sit in his locker as a good luck talisman for the math quiz he had to take that day. He had conveniently forgotten it in his locker, as he did with the many pens, old manga issues, and small doodles that sat in there with it. He’d found it again after things had calmed down and almost broke down in tears on the spot, nothing that had been rebuilt in their house had been quite the same, the least of which his clothes, which now retained an odd musty smell; it made him depressed even thinking about it, but infinitely happy that at least something was the same. He had kept the shirt in his bag ever since, afraid to lose it in another incident. He couldn’t tell Hanazawa that though, he would think it was weird or something...for sure I bet.
“O-oh...well. It was hanging outside on the dryer lines, all the clothes out there avoided being burned to a crisp.” he wasn’t lying completely. His favorite hoodie, the green one with the dog on it, had avoided the fire as well, although it did have a very charcoaly scent now.
“Is that so?” Hanazawa’s eyes narrowed a bit and his grin became wider.
He knows I'm lying , “uh huh,” Shigeo nodded innocently like he was so good at doing, except it was usually far more sincere than how it felt now. he looked back at Hanazawa directly again, his hands gripped tightly over his cup, “I was wondering if you wanted it back...you know, something familiar.” Hanazawa’s mischievous look was replaced by something warmer than Shigeo had expected, but he did not have the heart to look away this time.
“Really? That would be so-” Hanazawa began excitedly and then caught himself and lowered his voice somewhat, glancing sheepishly to the side, “that would be really nice.” he placed a hand on Shigeo's knee and he froze “only if you’re sure though, I don't want to take something you really like or anything.”
“Mmhm.” Shigeo couldn’t even open his mouth, which was wriggling around on his face looking for the right expression to form. Hanazawa giggled at him again and removed his hand from its spot on Shigeo's leg. He relaxed somewhat, looking away finally. They went off and continued shopping after that, and not a word was spoken about the shirt until Hanazawa was dropping Shigeo off at his house.
They had walked back together like Hanazawa always insisted, lately, Shigeo had figured it wasn’t just to make sure he got home safe, but he didn’t want to start imagining scenarios in his head that didn’t exist, he did that enough with Tsubomi in mind. Is it possible to like more than one person at a time? Shigeo asked himself as he was searching through his school bag for the shirt, which was probably in need of a very good wash. He pulled it out and buried his face in it for what might be the last time. I mean. I suppose it is, he let the familiar scent fill his nostrils. He probably looked like an idiot, standing there with his face buried in the smelly old shirt, but he didn’t really care.
He was handing it off to Hanazawa the next thing he knew, he had a curious expression on his face upon taking it into his empty hand, “Well, this has certainly been well loved,” he said warmly as he examined it. He looked up at an embarrassed Shigeo once he had stowed it into one of the various shopping bags he was carrying, “thank you, Kageyama.”
“You’re welcome,” at least the evening sun was masking how red his face felt presently. He could sense he had a frown on though because Hanazawa tilted his head at him curiously before replying.
“You know, you’re welcome to borrow my clothes anytime you want, it really isn’t a bother or anything,” his voice was soft, he only spoke to Shigeo in this manner, it was something he had noticed even earlier than anything else about Hanazawa. He was studying the gentle look on his friend’s face, mouth ajar.
“Oh...” he began, it took him a while to finish the sentence, all the while Hanazawa kept ever patient, “that’s nice of you Hanazawa, I’d like that.” he smiled and looked away again. An abrupt ringtone coming from Hanazawa’s pocket interrupted their moment.
“Ah! It’s Reigen, he probably wants to know what I want for dinner.” he let it ring a few times without answering, ''I'll see you later then Kageyama, rest well.” he was about to hit the answer button when Shigeo placed a light hand on his wrist. The tone went on for a few moments as they stood there hovering, staring wordlessly at each other, then died out.
“When can I see you again,” Shigeo's voice was soft, almost hidden in the evening chill. “I don’t want to go two weeks without seeing you again.” he was making direct eye contact, something he hardly ever did, though this moment seemed to prompt it. Hanazawa’s eyes were wide and his mouth hung open slightly, but he composed himself much more quickly than Shigeo could have.
“Do you want me to come over this weekend? I can bring this awful new movie I bought, I was laughing so hard at the terrible special effects I cried.” he was closer to Shigeo now, and his voice was full of fervor even though it remained low and soft.
“I would like that,” responded Shigeo, and his hand slid off of Hanazawa’s arm. His phone screen lit up again and began to ring, snapping them both out of their trance.
“I really should get going or Reigen’s gonna order me something he knows I hate to chide me for getting home too late for a warm dinner again,” chuckled Hanazawa, answering the phone and waving warmly to Shigeo as he walked off. Shigeo waited until he saw Hanazawa round the corner to return inside, and even though it had been chilly outside, he had barely felt it at all.
He got ready for bed and turned in rather early, his bed feeling strangely empty, and here he’d been now for hours lying like this, staring at the empty place in the futon trying to get to sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about how desperate he’d sounded outside, how he inconvenienced Hanazawa by not letting him answer the phone. He knew that he was overthinking things, but that’s how it is when you like someone , he thought and buried his face into his pillow to hide his flustered face from the darkness. He heard a light buzzing beside him on the floor, oh, my phone.
He opened it up to reveal a small string of texts from Hanazawa.
Teru: I had a lot of fun today! Can’t wait to see you and show you this awful movie this weekend
Teru: it’s honestly terrible, the best kind though I know you’ll get a kick out of it
Teru: so what day do you want me to come over? Saturday night works for me!
Shigeo was holding his phone above his face and smiling wider than he could remember having in a while as he lay there in the dark.
Shigeo: Saturday is fine
He sent the text and shut his phone, almost placing it back down where it had been when it buzzed again. He immediately opened it up again, eager to read the message from Hanazawa.
Teru: I’ll come over around 5 then!! I’m so excited!
Shigeo: me too!
He was overwhelmingly flustered, something he was not used to. He placed the closed phone onto his chest and held it there tightly like it was a lifeline. Another buzz.
Teru: get some good rest Kageyama, sweet dreams
Shigeo had to calm himself a little before responding.
Shigeo: you too Hanazawa.
He finally felt that he was ready for sleep, and let his consciousness drift away, a familiar shade of blue filling his mind as he began to dream.