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Sirius Black was not in his element at the moment. His T-shirt soaking wet and both arms littered with scratches, all while his face remained muddy even with all the water Bastet was currently splashing everywhere.
He wondered if this is how parents felt. Doing whats best for the child, but making them hate them in the process.That’s how this felt at least. Bastet kept making the most pitiful yowls and looking like Sirius betrayed her by taking her anywhere near water. The more logical side of his brain realized that this was the only option due to the state of her fur, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. It was better for the both of them the sooner he finished.
He thanked every star in the sky that James gave Lily one of the mirrors they had made in school. She had calmed down significantly when Sirius showed Bastet to her when she was ranting to them about waking her up in three o’clock in the morning. James was also calmed down by Lily thankfully. He didn’t have the same soft spot for cats as Lily, but at least he didn’t kick her out instantly when he and Remus woke him up to get the mirror from him.
He had to thank his luck for Remus. He did most of the talking when Peter and James asked about Bastet and wanted to crush him in a hug when he also answered most of Lily’s questions. James and Peter doubted that he could take care of her properly, but Remus shut them down faster than he could even start to question his choice of keeping Bastet.
He really was like his knight in shining armor. Sirius felt like he was the prince being saved from the tower, but he didn’t voice any of these thoughts out loud. Even for him that was slightly over dramatic.
Remus had luckily paid extra attention when Lily told them how to take care of her and she could order a vet appointment when they got back. Whatever that was, probably some muggle animal thing. Or maybe she finally snapped and decided to get him some type of muggle healer, but those were called doctors if he remembered correctly.
They were lucky enough that the cabin had a pair of scissors that they could cut some of the most matted parts of her fur off before washing her. Lily had told them that her fur would be cut at the vet as well if it’s causing her trouble, so they just had to be careful not to cut her or her whiskers.
Bastet was still struggling, but she seemed to have realized that she wouldn’t be getting out anytime soon, so she calmed down a little and only occasionally tried to jump out of the tub. Sirius really felt bad for her. She obviously needs this and will feel much better after it’s done, but the memories of the cold baths he had to endure when he misbehaved at grimmauld place only made him feel more guilty.
He tried to determine if her fur had anymore spots that needed attention, but to his relieve he found none. He lifted her from the now dirty water and wrapped her in a towel. Sirius’ face was soon adorned with a gentle smile when he saw how silly Bastet looked wrapped in the towel. The only part not covered by the towel was her nose and whiskers.
He started to very gently pat and rub the towel to dry her a little pit before lifting it from her for a moment. She didn’t seem to react for a while, seemingly waiting for him to do something else before stepping away from the towel and heading towards the door.
Sirius was exhausted as well, but he reached for his wand he had put on the ground not far away and tried to get her to come back to him. The sooner she was dry the sooner he could take a bath himself.
Bastet didn’t want cooperate it seemed. She just sat by the door waiting to be let out. He sighed and reluctantly rose from the floor and scooped her up in his arms. His actions were slow and tired, but luckily she didn’t try to run. She just accepted her fate and stayed still while he moved back to his spot on the floor.
He knew a lot of spells meant for cosmetic purposes and a simple hair drying spell will be gentle enough for her. His own hair wasn’t thin and would usually require a stronger drying spell, but he luckily knew some weaker spells meant for more delicate hair.
He said the words and started very slowly moving his wand over her body, looking at the effect of the spell. Her fur lifted up slightly when his wand moved over a spot and he could already tell her fur was starting to fluff up.
She wasn’t complaining at least. She seemed to be enjoying it if her purrs were anything to go by. Sirius smiled. The worst part was over for her and for him. Not until she was finally completely dry and still purring did he stop the spell and put his wand away.
Bastet turned her head towards him and gave him a disapproving look when she no longer felt the warmth from the spell. Sirius scratched her chin as an apology before lifting her so he could properly hold her when he got up from the floor.
He drained the tub quickly and turned the tap on again before leaving. His bath should be ready by the time he returns.
Remus was going to look for possible injuries while he took a bath. Sirius carried her downstairs where he knew Remus was waiting in the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks when he made it to the living room.
Remus looked like he was going to fall asleep standing up. The temperature in the cabin seemed to drop a little when he realized he was the reason Remus couldn’t rest. He looked at Bastet resting in his arms and knew he shouldn’t rest before he took care of her himself. She was his responsibility after all.
”You can go to bed. I’ll make sure to take really good care of her.” Merlin, he felt like a child who caused troubles for his parents and tried to make up for it. He couldn’t look at Remus after he said this. He focused his eyes on Bastets fur and the hidden patterns he could find in it.
He felt numb. He had only caused problems for Moony again. Tears started to form in his eyes and he tried his best to make sure they didn’t fall. Sirius startled slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up meeting Remus’ warm gaze.
”Don’t be daft. I’ll look at her injuries while you go take a bath. If i have to be around this smell much longer I’ll throw you in the tub myself.” Sirius didn’t even try to fight the smile blooming on his face. He knew it was a losing battle. Remus could always make vague threats of aggressively caring for him while comforting him.
Remus didn’t wait for Sirius’ response before taking Bastet from his arms and walking back towards the blanket laid over the couch.That really didn’t help with the tears threatening to spill, but now he could go into the bathroom and hide in the bath for a while.
He dashed to the bathroom while Remus was still occupied with Bastet and hoped James was still in the kitchen with Peter. He reached the bathroom in record time and stormed into the room as fast as possible.
He locked the door before leaning against it and slowly sliding into a sitting position on the floor. Sirius felt like he was back in the alley and couldn’t get enough air into his lungs.
He took a couple of deep quivering breaths and got up to stand on his shaky legs. He had to lean on the wall for a moment before walking towards the tub. He turned off the tap and tested the waters temperature. He had to pull his hand away from the water when the heat of the water got too much.
He let out a deep sigh and took off his dirty clothes. His shirt had started to stick to his chest and was relieved once it was finally off of him.
He did quick work of his jeans and boxers and stepped into the bath.
His body relaxed almost instantly when it made contact with the warm water. Sirius closed his eyes and rested his head on the edge of the tub.
He turned his head towards the assortment of bath oils and soaps. He leisurely picks up the lavender scented bath gel. The mixture inside the small glass bottle was moving on its own determined by the petals that were floating inside.
He slowly took the cap off and poured a generous dose of the gel into the water. While the water was turning into the color of the petals currently moving with a current that wasn’t there, Sirius capped the bottle and returned it to its place among the other bottles.
He sunk a little deeper into the water so his nose was still above the surface. The warm water helped soothe his aching muscles and he groaned out in relieve.
He had almost forgotten how much these episodes drained him physically. The scent of lavender filling the room helped calm him down and the movements of the petals in the water caught his attention and his focus turned to following the movement.
This certainly was a pleasant way to end a very stressful day. But no matter how comfortable he was, if he was alone in a room with nothing else to occupy his time than his own thoughts, he was going to turn back to some more negative thoughts.
He felt pathetic. He always had to rely on others. He couldn’t even help a single cat on his own.
Of course Moony was calm and collected the whole time, as usual. No matter how much the other marauders liked to tease Moony with how he wasn’t the most functional human being, but Sirius knew that Moony was the most brilliant person he has ever met.
He bet Moony never had these problems. He was so weak. Moony had to deal with his lycantrhopy and the stress they definitely had caused him during their years as friends., but here he was crying for one of the many times he had cried that night.
It didn’t even take much for him to start this whole mess. One small trigger and he was breaking down. His quiet sobbing soon filled the room and he hoped no one could hear him from outside the door.
He had thought he would have already cried all the tears he had left for the day, but he kept surprising even himself.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before sinking lower into the water until he was completely submerged.
When his face was covered by the water, oddly he felt like he could finally breath properly. He surfaced after a while and took a deep breath before opening his eyes.
He was calmer than before and could think clearly again. Managing to push the negative thoughts away and stopping them from clouding his mind and preventing his logical side from taking over.
His eyes took a while to adjust but he could recognize the shampoo he had brought with himself and grabbed it. He poured some on to his palm and placed the bottle back on the shelf.
Soon the scent of apples joined the lavender scent while he rubbed the shampoo into his hair. He focused on the feeling of his fingers massaging the shampoo onto his scalp. The process giving him something to focus on.
His mind was still free to wander and soon familiar green eyes filled his thoughts. They always seemed to be filled to the brim with emotions, Moony was really easy to read if one knew how to analyze his eyes. Moony who was always trying to hide his feelings from everyone, betrayed by his own eyes.
The shampoo was lathered all over his hair and he dipped his hands into the water before slicking his hair back so the shampoo wouldn't get into his eyes. He leaned back and rested his elbows on the edge of the tub. He let out a defeated sigh. He really was pathetic. He had caused so much pain and strife for Moony, but here he was ,waxing poetic about the other mans eyes. He had hoped back at hogwarts that this was only a stupid little crush, but could it still be considered that when he has felt like this for years. No matter how much he had tried to ignore it, the burning feeling was always inside him.
He supposed he was lucky that Moony never had any long term girlfriends during their school years, only some casual hook ups, but according to Moony even those were very rare. But he still had more action than Sirius did. No matter how much the rest of the marauders liked to call him a ladies man, he had only gone on one date and that was enough for him to know he didn't fancy girls. He must have been lucky that people assumed he was a playboy that thought that he was too good for the girls in hogwarts. Somehow even though he had only gone on one date, many more rumors of his various trysts he had reached the hogwarts rumor mill.
At least he wasn't questioned why he wasn't dating, it really fit with his rebellious image he had created for himself. He had came to terms with his sexuality only a couple of years ago and even then he wasn't willing to say it out loud. The thought of telling his friends about this terrified him to his bones. It would be the last nail in the coffin that would make them finally kick him out of the group.
No. He couldn't think that way. The guys had already told him how ridiculous the idea was when he brought it up. Maybe they'll even accept him. It wasn't unheard of in the wizarding world, but he knew that the older pure blood families weren't exactly approving of the notion. Maybe they would finally realize why he acted so strange around Moony sometimes. Even if they did accept him, there was no way that Moony wouldn't be disgusted with his feelings towards the werewolf.
Maybe he should just get out of the bath. He was too tired to have another breakdown, but he wasn't going to risk it.
He filled the pitcher with fresh water from the tab and tipped his head back before tipping it over his hair. Running his fingers throug it to get the shampoo out properly.
He didn’t know how long he has been in the bath, but he knew it had to be a while. His eyes threatened to close completely and he stood up from the bath before he might fall asleep in it. He stepped out of the tub and took a towel from a small cabinet near the tub.
He dried his body slightly before wrapping his hair in the towel. When he straightened up again and noticed that the towel wasn’t loose or too tight he almost wanted to contact Lily to tell her. She had thought him the trick when she heard Sirius complain about his hair. Sirius still had some trouble with the trick sometimes.
He took a fluffy robe hanging from a hook next to the door and put it on. The material slightly sticking to his still damp skin, but he ignored it for now. He almost left the room before realizing the tub was still filled with water. He unplugged it and watched the disappearing water for a moment before leaving.
He headed towards his room, but stopped when he remembered that he left Bastet with Remus. He could feel the guilt creeping up on him, but he shook it off and headed towards the living room.
He didn’t know what to expect when he made it downstairs, but Moony sleeping on the old armchair in the corner with Bastet, now with bandages, on his lap. His heart almost seized up just from the cuteness of the scene in front of him.
He didn’t know if he let out a sound, but Bastet slowly turned her head to him. His legs were already moving to her before he could think what he was doing. She seemed content to just wait for him to reach her and only her tail swishing left and right.
He grouched down slowly to not startle Bastet. He started to pet her while looking at the bandages that were added to her appearance while he was in the bath. To his delight there weren’t too many bandages, but they would still have to take her to the vet.
He was so focused on Bastet that he almost didn’t notice when the legs serving as her bed moved. He turned his gaze upwards and was met with piercing golden irises.
A subdued smile appeared on Sirius’ face ” Morning.” He wasn’t sure if the statement was accurate. He hadn’t checked the time in a while and the sun wasn’t any. The star not staying down from the sky for long.
He rested his head on Remus’ knee next to Bastet. His smile grew when Bastet touched her nose to his. His eyes started to close involuntarily he rubbed his cheek on the knee he was currently using as a pillow.
He was so tired. It would be so nice to just fall asleep on the spot, but before he could fall to slumber, there was a hand on his shoulder shaking him. He didn’t lift his head , but he managed to look up at Remus.
” You can’t fall asleep here.” Moonys gentle voice didn’t help with keeping him awake. Sirius couldn’t help but to point out how hypocritical he was being ” Big words coming from a man who was just sleeping here.” a victorious smile appeared on his face when Remus groaned out in annoyance ” You know what i meant Pads.”
It always was fun to rile Moony up, but he was far too tired to continue. ”Fine I’ll go sleep in a bed like a normal person.” With great effort he rose up and stretched deeply. When he was done he realized the towel he had wrapped on his head had become loose and he just gave up and unwrapped it. He dried his still damp hair slightly before draping the towel on his shoulders.
He turned to Remus who was focusing on petting Bastet, who was clearly enjoying the attention. ” She wasn’t too roughed up was she?” He really hoped the answer was a no, but judging by the grim look on Moonys face it wasn’t the case.
” I could heal some of the wounds on the outside, but if she does have some internal problems there would be no way of telling now. We’ll have to wait for Lily to get back to us about the vet.” Though Sirius was loyal, he wasn’t a hufflepuff and he definitely didn’t have a patience of one, but he knew a punch of untrained teens would only cause more harm to her if they tried treating some of the wounds themselves. That didn’t mean he had to like it though.
He knew he was pouting like a child, but he didn’t stop even when Moony rolled his eyes and gave him a very unimpressed look. He never got to act childish when he was young at home, only in hogwarts, so he cherished moments like these. Remus and James might complain from time to time, but they both knew what it was like for him in grimmauld place so they let him have his moments of immaturity.
The morning sun was already peeking through the curtains and hitting the living room floor. ” I might just power through the day and go to sleep in the evening. Might as well spend some time with her before Lily steals her away from me.” He leaned down to scratch her chin while he spoke.
Remus didn’t seem to like the idea as much as Bastet did ” I’m sure she’ll be fine if you go to bed now we’ll take care of her while you rest.” That self sacrificing bastard was truly an idiot if he thought Sirius would sleep while Remus, who has been awake as long as him, tired himself out.
Sirius gently took Bastet into his arms and held her to his chest ”Well I’m not going to leave my sweet innocent angel with the likes of you lot. Imagine all the bad things you could teach her while i slept. I bet James would have her waking up at 5 am just to drag me outside in to the poring rain.”
Sirius couldn’t help the smile blooming on his face when he saw Moonys reaction to his usual over dramatic voice. His lips were twitching like they always did when Sirius was being hilarious but he didn’t wan’t to encourage him. He decided he was too tired to care anymore and just sat on the bigger sofa next to Remus chair and continued his dramatic epilogue. ” And I bet you would get her addicted to tea. Do you think I can pay for tea for you and her both?” Of course it was a rhetorical question. He would and could pay for the finest of teas for both of them,but he knew how Moony was about accepting money from his friends.
” You’re not paying for my tea and I’m sure you’ll manage somehow. If I were you I’d be more concerned about her bullying poor Peter.” At least he was still smiling. A very tired smile, but a smile non the less.
Sirius always felt proud about making Remus smile. He still remembered that time when he found out that the quiet boy who rarely even spoke to them had the most brilliant smile of their whole class in hogwarts. He could still recall the first time he had gotten Remus to properly laugh out loud. He must have been the most obnoxious first year for the next week, but he couldn’t help himself. He felt so proud about it and he had promised himself he would try to get him to smile as much as possible.
To Sirius Remus smile was a precious thing. Something to be cherished if you got the change to see it. He certainly smiled more than he did in first year, but his life was still filled with strife and pain. He was sure one day Remus would be able to be happy even with his lycantrophy, but until then Sirius would try to make him forget about his pain as much as possible. He hasn’t been doing a very good job of it lately, but for once he felt like it could be done.
He let out a exasperated gasp in pretend shock ” How dare you, sir! My innocent child would never do such a thing. She’ll be just like her father, a well behaved and proper young lady.” Sirius was almost startled by the volume of Moonys laughter, but was soon overcome by the euphoria that surged through his veins by the sound.
Sirius couldn’t stop the laughter bubbling from his chest and luckily that didn’t matter because he didn’t try to stop in the first place. It must have been the sleep deprivation that kept them laughing for minutes. Or at least it felt like minutes, more accurately hours, but that would be impossible.
When the laughter finally calmed down a comforting silence took its place. Sirius never really was a fan of silence, even grimmauld place was never silent, always filled with some sort of noise. Hogwarts was filled to the brim with sound, Sirius has gotten used to a certain level of noise and the only place he was ever comfortable with silence was the potter household and silence was rare there.
He rarely was silent himself in situations like this. He wanted to be acknowledged, to just know he wasn’t alone. He hugged Bastet closer to his chest to chase away the negative thoughts and to his surprise, it worked. He dug his nose to her fur and took a calming breath. Trying to match his breath to hers and just focusing on the feel of her fur.
He didn’t realize he was falling asleep until he woke up with a start. Bastet was still on his chest and when he looked around Remus hadn’t moved either. He turned his head so quickly that Remus was visibly startled by the movement. He was staring at Sirius when he turned and looked away almost immediately. It must have been the sunlight that made it seem like there was blush on Moonys cheeks.
Sirius was still to disoriented from the sudden wake up, but he needed to know how long he was asleep. ” He rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat before speaking ” How long was i down for ?” To his dismay his voice was still slightly slurred, but Moony probably didn’t care. ” Not for long, ten minutes probably.”
Sirius let out a sigh of relive. Making the decision to stay up the rest of the day might have been a mistake. His eyelids seemed to take that as a challenge to fall shut.
” I don’t think you’re gonna make it out of that bathrobe if you don’t go change now Padfoot. ”Moonys concern laced voice cut through his inner monologue. ” Huh?” He was really out of it already, why wouldn't he make it out of the robe and why would he need to. Remus got up and took Bastet gently from her spot on Sirius’ chest. ” I think it would be the best for all of us if you went upstairs and got a proper rest.”
He felt like crossing his arms like a petulant child, but at this point he was too tired to fight against Moony. ” Fine, but if anything bad happens to her you’ll get me.” His tone turned sharp at the end. He was not going to sleep while she was in trouble.
Moony smiled gently down at him, but his eyebrows were lifted high. ” Of course. Do you need any help getting upstairs.” Sirius scoffed. He was just tired not sick. ” I’ll manage just fine on my own, Moony.” He sluggishly got up and when he finally made to a standing position he had to balance himself for a moment so he wouldn’t topple right back to the sofa.
He shot a scathing look towards Remus, daring him to mention it. With that he wished Remus good night and started the journey to his room. Before he could make it to the stairs a soft ”sleep well” and he chose to ignore the way the words seemed to brand themselves into his skin. But he couldn’t quite ignore the sudden feeling of loneliness that struck him when he laid down onto his bed.