Chapter Text
Jimin set the last of the cardboard boxes that contained his belongings down on the floor with a huff. He brushed the imaginary dust off his hands(for no other reason than wanting to mimic the gesture that cartoon characters often did) and looked around his new bedroom. The room still felt a bit impersonal, with its blank walls and lack of any scent that would indicate it was someone's personal space, but that would change once he'd unpacked and added his personal touches to it.
A small lump of fur trotted into the room, wagging his curiously as he sniffed around the unfamiliar environment.
"Hey sweetie," Jimin cooed at the Pomeranian, "what do you think about this house?"
Yeontan yapped happily in response.
"Tannie said he loves his new home," Taehyung translated as he watched them from the doorway, boxy smile in full display. "As do I, this place is great!"
"It is!" Jimin replied, just as enthusiastically. The rational part of his brain may have told him that it hadn't even been a full day since they'd moved in, so it was too early too tell, but he had a gut feeling they'd finally found the perfect place to stay; the two-bedroom house had a cozy vibe to it and a backyard where Yeontan could run around freely, plus it was located on an LGBTQ-friendly residential district, which meant they could be openly affectionate towards each other and their neighbors wouldn't give them dirty looks.
Which reminded him, they hadn't met their next door neighbor yet. What was the protocol for introducing yourself to your neighbor? Did he need to bake a pie? If so, what flavor? Blueberry? But what if their neighbor didn't like—
"Earth to Jimin," Taehyung teased, waving a hand in front of his face. "You're thinking out loud, you know."
"Do you think blueberry pie would be a good choice?" Jimin blurted out, then shook himself out his trance.
Taehyung gave an amused laugh. "Strawberry pie is better. Strawberries are everyone's favorite fruit."
"That's your favorite fruit, Tae," Jimin pointed out, poking Taehyung's side, which made him giggle at the ticklish sensation.
"Fine, then just bake me a pie instead." He caught Jimin's hand when he tried to poke him again and intertwined their fingers; Jimin huffed in exasperation but smiled. "Is there a need to try to impress our neighbor, anyway?"
"Yes," Jimin said in a serious tone, "there is. We have to get on their good side otherwise we'll suffer. Don't you remember what happened with our past neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Song?"
Taehyung shuddered at the memory of the grumpy middle-aged couple. Mrs. Song complained that she could hear the sounds of their "midnight romps" coming from their apartment and that it disrupted her sleeping schedule, even when they insisted that such a thing was impossible since they were in a strictly platonic relationship.
The feud between the two pairs got so heated that one day Jimin, in an act of pure spite, repeatedly slammed his bed against the wall while making fake moans and yelling out obscenities just to piss off the couple; Jimin's little stunt earned them a noise complaint and an earful from the landlady, and they'd decided to look for another place to live after that.
"It was worth it, though," Taehyung said with a laugh. "The look on Mrs. Song face was priceless."
"It was," Jimin agreed, giggling at the memory. "But I don't want to make an enemy out of our new neighbors, so I need to make a good first impression this time. Any ideas?"
Taehyung opened his mouth to speak but Jimin interrupted him, "And don't tell me to just be myself, because we both know how well that went last time."
Taehyung closed his mouth, then pursed his lips as if deep in thought. "I think..."
Jimin waited expectantly.
"I'm hungry," Taehyung concluded, and his stomach growled as if on cue. "We've been moving furniture around all day and my energy levels are depleting."
Jimin burst into squeaky laughter. "Alright, we can think about that tomorrow. There's nothing in the fridge, so wanna order some pizza?"
"Yay!" Taehyung exclaimed happily, then threw himself at Jimin's waiting arms. "This is why you're the best housemate ever."
"What, so I'm only good for ordering pizza?" Jimin said in mock offense, but his pout softened when Taehyung cooed at him and kissed his cheek.
"You're the best at ordering pizza, Jiminie."
Jimin huffed proudly. "I am?"
"You look so dreamy and responsible when you're on the phone," Taehyung humored him, fanning himself with his hand. "It's so hot when you say those magic words, you know what I'm talking about. Say it."
Jimin had to bite down on his bottom lip to prevent his laughter from escaping. "I'd like to order a large pizza. No–" he lowered his voice to a sultry tone–"make it two."
Taehyung swooned theatrically at him.
—
The next morning, Jimin decided to take Yeontan out for a walk around the neighborhood while Taehyung went grocery shopping.
It had been a quite pleasant walk; the weather was good and he'd successfully managed to introduce himself to some of his neighbors, most notably a quiet man with cat-like eyes named Min Yoongi, who lived down the street with his pet dog Holly. He was cute, definitely Hoseok's type. Jimin took a mental note to later ask Yoongi if he was into dancers with boisterous personalities and heart-shaped smiles.
As he made his way back to his house, Jimin let out a sigh of contentment.
The neighborhood was good. The house was great. This whole place was perfect, and it made him feel like he'd finally found a place where he and Taehyung could call home. Now that they had permanent housing, they could focus on their careers and settle down.
Nothing could ruin that.
Nothing except Jimin himself.
Yeontan looked up at him and barked insistently.
"Alright, be free," Jimin laughed and let go of Yeontan's leash so the puppy could roam around the front yard.
Yeontan sniffed the grass until his little nose twitched and his ears perked up as he picked up an unfamiliar scent. He crossed the yard into the neighboring plot of land and hid behind a bush.
Jimin followed the puppy without hesitation. "My sweet baby boy," he cooed in the fondest of voices, "what are you doing over there?"
He saw some movement and heard the rustling of leaves.
A head poked out from behind the bush, and unless Yeontan had transformed into a tall, handsome human, the man staring at Jimin in wide-eyed confusion was most definitely not Yeontan.
"Oh, uh," Not Yeontan said, tentatively, "I'm just...watering my bonsais...?"
In the silence that followed, Jimin vividly pictured himself getting into his car(if he owned one)and driving off into the ocean.
Jimin should've apologized, explained himself, said literally anything that would make the situation less awkward, but instead, he said, "That's nice."
Yup, they had to move out immediately.
The man handled the situation with remarkable grace, even going as far as holding back his laughter to spare Jimin from further embarrassment. He skirted around the bush and held his hand out to Jimin. "I don't believe we've met before," he said with a dimpled smile, "I'm Kim Namjoon."
Namjoon seemed like a good guy, friendly and polite, who likely wasn't used to being called a "sweet baby boy" by a complete stranger. Dear god, what had Jimin done?
Jimin made to shake his hand, then hesitated and pulled back his hand. Then he reconsidered and held out his hand, only to pull it back again like he was doing some sort of impromptu dance routine. Realizing how ridiculous he must've looked, he finally took Namjoon's hand and shook it. "I'm Park Jimin, I moved here yesterday."
"Ah, that means we're neighbors," Namjoon said, gesturing with his chin to his own house behind him.
Oh my god, he was the neighbor. The next door neighbor he would probably see on a daily basis from now on. The one neighbor Jimin specifically wanted to impress.
So much for a good first impression.
"I, uh—" Jimin coughed, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry. "That wasn't meant for you, I was talking to Yeontan."
"I see," Namjoon said in a tone of voice that meant that no, he didn't see it. "Is Yeontan your partner, or..."
"No, no!" Jimin denied, frantically waving his hands around. "He's a dog, a puppy."
Yeontan conveniently appeared right at that moment next to Namjoon's feet and barked up at him. "Oh hi, little one," Namjoon cooed and crouched down next to the puppy.
And oh, only now did Jimin notice Namjoon was wearing denim shorts. Jimin knew he shouldn't stare but wow, those legs. Very nice, very long legs.
Huh, maybe Jimin was a degenerate.
Namjoon gently scratched behind Yeontan's ears. "His name is Yeontan, right? Is he yours?"
It was not an actual question, just an ice breaker. Jimin knew that, because why else would he know Yeontan's name if he wasn't his owner, but instead of keeping quiet he answered, too rushed, "No."
That made Namjoon raise an eyebrow.
"I mean, yes," Jimin stammered. "I mean, no, he's my best friend's dog but we live together so technically...yes? He's also mine? I-I didn't steal him or anything." Someone stop Jimin.
"Oh...okay?" Namjoon managed a small smile. He stood up and gestured to the watering can he'd set aside during their exchange. "I should get back to watering my bonsais, these little guys get fussy when they're thirsty."
Jimin took it for the dismissal it was. "Right, right." He picked up Yeontan in his arms and started retreating back to his yard. "It was nice meeting you, Namjoon-ssi, hopefully, we can talk later?"
There was a pause in which Jimin feared Namjoon would say something along the lines of "No, you straight up catcalled me and you're a potential dog kidnapper" but instead he just smiled, an actual genuine smile and not a forced one.
"Sure," Namjoon said. "Feel free to knock on my door if you ever need anything." He waved at Jimin, and the younger returned the friendly gesture before turning around and bolting to the safety of his house.
Taehyung was in the kitchen, calmly putting away the groceries when the front door flew open. He let out a startled noise when Jimin ran up to him and seized him by the shoulders.
"We have to move out right now."
Taehyung blinked at him several times. "I assume you've met our neighbor, Namjoon?" he said, prying Jimin's small hands off of him.
Jimin let his hands drop back to his sides. "You've already met him?"
"Oh, I've seen him, Taehyung said with a knowing smile. "I almost went feral when I saw those denim shorts." He narrowed his eyes and pointed an accusing finger at Jimin. "Did you pounce on him or something?"
Jimin sputtered, his cheek growing increasingly warmer at the accusation. "No! Of course not!"
"Well, then I don't see why we would need to move out," Taehyung said with a shrug and went back to stocking the fridge with the groceries. "It's not like you did something inappropriate."
"I may have," Jimin hesitated, "said something inappropriate."
Taehyung didn't look up from the fridge. "Such as?"
Jimin inhaled sharply and squeezed his eyes shut. "I called him my 'sweet baby boy' because I thought he was Yeontan."
The fridge door slammed shut and Taehyung stared at him slack-jawed. "Jiminie, no."
"Jiminie, yes," Jimin groaned and dragged a hand down his face. "He was so nice about it, too. He was really trying not to make things awkward but I ruined–" he slapped his forehead–"everything."
"Come on, Jiminie, you didn't ruin everything." Taehyung reached out to cup Jimin's face and kissed the handprint on his forehead. "You said he was nice about it, right? You can still redeem yourself."
"I guess," Jimin sighed against Taehyung's neck, wrapping his arms around him. "What do you suggest I do?"
Taehyung hummed thoughtfully. "You could bake him a pie as a peace offering?"
"Back to my initial plan, then."
"And write a little note to go along with it."
Jimin craned his neck to look up at him. "What would I even write?" he asked, suspiciously.
Taehyung flashed a teasing grin. "Write 'To my sweet baby boy, Namjoon,' of course."
Jimin made an indignant noise in the back of his throat and tightened his grip around Taehyung's middle.
"Ow ow ow, I yield!" Taehyung laughed, a bit breathless.