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Harley watches as the cement wall comes crashing down on Peter, and he yells his name as loud as he can with the dusty air in his lungs, his voice already raspy. He summons all the strength he can to climb through the debris scattered in the warehouse, his muscles aching and screaming for rest as he coughs through the dust. With every uneven breath he takes, he prays to god that Peter is still alive. The cement wall was so big, Harley would've never survived if it were him.
It was supposed to be me.
But Peter saved his life.
Harley taps his watch quickly, alerting Tony as he finally finds Peter. He isn't prepared for this. He has no idea what to do, he doesn't have super strength or a medical degree, but what he does have is his smarts. So here he is, holding Peter's head in his lap, struggling to push away any doubt in his mind that Peter won't make it. He scans the situation and tries to think of a solution that will safely get Peter out of this. He's running out of options the more he takes in.
"Harley, you have to help me lift it." Peter weakly rasps, motioning at the cement piece over his abdomen. Blood oozes from the large gash in Peter's lower stomach, and Harley pushes down the bile in his throat.
"We can't, you'll lose too much blood. It's not worth the risk." Harley chokes on his tears and the sick feeling in his stomach churns.
It was supposed to be me.
He knows he can't show Peter how terrified he really is. There's a small chance that his little brother would barely make it out alive.
Harley brushes away Peter's curls from his forehead tenderly, a tear dripping down on his shirt. "We're gonna be ok, Pete." Peter nods as his lips tremble, tears of his own threatening to escape.
"I'm scared." Peter admits, his whole being filled with fear. He doesn't feel any pain because of the shock, and he silently lets out a breath of relief. He watches the blood slowly seep on to the ground and then panic seizes him once again. Harley tips Peter's head up, making him focus on his older brother.
"It's ok, we're going to make it through this, alright? Tony will be here soon, just..." Harley glances at the blood again, but rips his eyes away from it, "hang on for a little while longer." He reassures the small boy as he relaxes in Harley's arms.
Minutes slowly tick by and Harley lets the tears fall, knowing that soon this will be it. In a few minutes Peter's heart will slowly fade no beat, and he will drift into oblivion for one last time. This time, he won't wake up.
It was supposed to be me.
"Stay with me, Peter, please." Harley clutches the small boy's top half of his body to his chest, embracing him in a hug, trying his hardest to keep himself together.
"I'm sorry." Harley whispers, and the small boy's eyes close. Peter breathes his last breath, his body going limp in Harley's arms.
Harley doesn't remember much after that. He feels detached from his body, watching through a screen in his mind on how everything is playing out. He just gets dragged along for the ride.
He sees glimpses of Tony's devastation, the rest of the Avengers crowded around the boys in the aftermath of the collapse. He sees Tony helping him up, tearing him away from his brother's cold and lifeless body. He sees Happy speeding to get back to the compound. He sees Pepper, engulfing him in a hug as soon as he gets home. He's surrounded by people when he walks through the door. Hugs hugs hugs and more hugs. Peter used to love hugs.
Sometimes if he's lucky, he can still hear his laugh, or the way he stifled a snicker at his teachers. He can hear his voice, saying Harley's name along with Ned and MJ's. Harley never used to appreciate the small things such as these, and he would do anything to hear Peter call him an asshole again.
Every minute he needs to remind himself that he's gone. It's like the symptom that soldiers get when they lose a body part. Phantom limb is what it's called. They say you can still feel it, even if it's not there. Harley has felt this way a lot of times since. Like just now as he was flipping through tv channels, he was about to ask Peter what they should watch. Then he realized it again, and it hit him like a tidal wave.
I mean, why wouldn't it? They were inseparable, and anyone would have guessed they were real brothers if they didn't say otherwise. Though Harley knew that no matter what anyone said, Peter would always be his little brother that saved his life. Harley was the one who was supposed to protect Peter, and yet he had failed.
It should have been me.
Three days pass, and it's all a blur. His parents and family wish they could be there with him, but it's busy around the farm, and only his mom will make it for the funeral. People in suits come over to the compound to meet with Tony and Pepper, discussing with them of Peter's funeral plans. This only happens because his Aunt May passed away just a few months ago, so Tony and Pepper were his stronghold and legal guardians.
Harley remembers those days. The days after May died, Peter was numb. But then it hit him that she was really gone, right in front of him. That first week, Peter had been borrowing Harley's extra clothes, and he wanted his own from his apartment. So they had gone to the empty home, and it was the first time Harley had ever witnessed true heartbreak.
For hours the boys went through both of Peter's and May's things, and every now and then Peter needed a long hug. His sobs had soaked Harley's shirt by the time they were done, but that didn't matter to him.
All Harley wanted was to see a smile on Peter's face again. And in time, they had become each other's happiness, even when they fought like there was no tomorrow. Even when Peter wanted to be alone, and even on the good nights, Harley always snuck in to his brother's room and slept on the other side of the bed, knowing that they were both never really hated whatever was the problem. They needed each other, even if they wanted to admit it or not.
It should have been me.
Harley snaps back to reality and feels the sting of loss tear at his chest. These next nights, he wasn't sure what he would do. For now he slept with Pepper and Tony, and though Tony wouldn't say it out loud, he was hurting more than anyone else.
When Tony found Peter and Harley that day in the warehouse, his whole world collapsed around him. All he could think of was that he lost the kid. Everything he did every second of his life was to keep Harley and Peter safe. And he had failed Peter.
The small lifeless body was being held in Harley's arms, and the sight almost had him falling on his knees. Pain overtook his senses as he tore Harley away from the corpse, tucking him safely in his own arms. He had sent him home, where Pepper and many others greeted him with sympathy.
Tony vowed that Harley would never be alone if he could help it. Tony knew these boys had been through so much together. He always knew that Harley came into Peter's room at night, sometimes stealing Pete's teddy bear to cuddle when Pete wouldn't talk to him. They were so close, and having that ripped away was the most painful thing he could ever imagine for someone his age.
Tony pushes away the memories for now, and glances over to Harley on the couch, tears quickly moistening his eyes. He lets Pepper lead the funeral planners to the other room to finish the arrangements, and Tony walks over to Harley by the couch.
"I miss him, Tony." Harley chokes out, standing up and clinging to Tony as if it's the last thing he will ever do. He rocks them back and forth as they stand for a few moments, and Harley breaks the silence. "He's probably laughing at us right now, I always refused hugs." Harley shakes with a sad laughter and wipes away his tears.
"I wish I would've given him more hugs." He whispers, sinking back down into the soft fabric of the couch. Tony's heart clenches as he sits down next to him.
"I miss him too." Tony says quietly as he pulls Harley close to his chest, relishing in this comfort, but only for a moment. The empty warmth that Peter used to fill next to his side seems to haunt him, and so he holds Harley even tighter, pushing away the unimaginable.