Chapter Text
“Be able to recognize many of the major constellations and know the stories behind them” ~ Marilyn vos Savant
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part i
Nicole groaned as a crumpled up piece of paper hit the back of her head just as the bell rang signaling the end of class. Students rushed to clear the classroom for next period. Nicole took her time to gather her belongings. She adjusted the sleeve of her gray hoodie and wiped the corner of her glasses, placing them on once more.
She’d moved to Purgatory three years ago to live with her uncle Randy Nedley and cousin Chrissy. Many of the students had come up with rumors and stories as to why she’d transferred in the middle of her first-year in high school.
Nedley had tried to assure Nicole her classmates would come around and stop the whispers. He’d tried to console her and encouraged her not to listen to what the kids said. They didn’t know what they were talking about.
“I heard she was expelled from her last school.” “I heard her parents couldn’t stand her anymore.” “Rumor has it her parents didn’t want her around.” “She’s a freak. No wonder she doesn’t have any friends.”
He’d been right about the whispers. Three years later they’d mostly stopped but everyone kept away from her.
She’d vowed to herself she’d get out of Purgatory the first opportunity given.
Often she found herself having her books knocked out of her hands or being shoved against lockers by Champ Hardy and Robert Svane. They seemed to enjoy giving her a hard time.
She didn’t have many friends at Willows High. She didn’t have any at all really. Rosita lived an hour away in her hometown.
Chrissy had been welcoming when Nicole moved in. She’d been her only friend. Chrissy had been in her final year which meant they weren’t able to have many classes together but it comforted Nicole to see a friendly familiar face in the halls.
Chrissy was now attending school in the city and Nicole understood she was busy starting her own life. She spent time with Chrissy when she could, mostly when she'd visit during her free days, but it wasn’t like having a friend to sit with during school. The occasional video chats with Rosita helped.
“Hi Nicole.”
Nicole almost dropped her books having been caught off guard.
Waverly Earp stood by her desk smiling brightly at her.
“H-hi,” Nicole managed adjusting her glasses.
Waverly had never spoken to her. They’d exchanged smiles a few times since Nicole arrived at Willow High. They shared some classes together. Stephanie Jones and Beth Gardener always seemed to be glued to Waverly’s side in class. Waverly had a warmth about her. Even as the head cheerleader and the most popular girl in her class there was always a sincere kindness in her eyes.
“How did you do on the last exam?”
“W-what?” Nicole blinked.
Waverly smiled shyly. “The exam. How’d you do?”
“Oh, I-I did okay,” Nicole held up her exam.
Waverly chuckled. “You got a 95% Nicole. I’d say that was better than okay.”
“I miss spelled Ophiuchus,” Nicole glanced at her exam. “That i and u.” She glared at the marks circled in bright red.
Waverly smiled in amusement. “Almost a perfect grade. I got a 74%,” she frowned. “I always get the names of the constellations and the stars mixed up.”
Nicole nodded and adjusted her glasses again nervously.
It didn’t go unnoticed by Waverly. “I know we don’t speak much.”
Nicole quirked her brow, a small smile grazing the corners of her lips.
“Okay we’ve never actually spoken,” Waverly chuckled to herself. “But Chrissy used to talk about you all the time during cheer practice.” Her cheeks flushed at the admission.
“I was wondering if you could maybe help me study. Astronomy isn’t my strongest subject but perhaps some guidance would help? You seem to know what the stars and Ms. Tucker are talking about.”
Nicole was rendered speechless with the whole conversation unrolling before her.
“I mean I’m not saying that you have to help. I would appreciate it, yes, but you don’t have to.”
Nicole tried to suppress her smile as she stuffed her books into her bag to occupy her shaking hands.
“I’m rambling off,” Waverly blushed and hugged her binder.
Nicole stood slinging her backpack over her shoulder. She’d found the smaller woman’s rambling endearing. “I can create a study guide,” she said after a moment. “The constellations can be confusing. There are a lot.” Nicole bit the inside of her cheek as she contemplated her next words. “I study at the library after school. If you’d like, you could stop by.”
Waverly’s face lit up. “Oh thank you, Nicole!”
Nicole couldn’t help but return the smile. She was caught off guard by the smaller girl’s surprisingly strong arms but returned the hug with enough enthusiasm.
Waverly was almost out the door when she remembered. “We don’t have class this Monday. There’s a staff meeting. See you Tuesday after school?”
Nicole rubbed her neck and shook her head. “Tuesdays I babysit after school but I can email you my notes and we can go over them on Wednesday.”
Waverly wrote down her email and thanked her once more before running out into the hall to head to her next class.
Nicole looked down at the email, following just a few steps behind. She looked up and caught a glimpse of the smiling cheerleader grinning up at Champ Hardy who appeared to be laughing hard at something Robert had said.
She sighed and hoped she wouldn’t regret her decision.
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“How was your weekend, Nicole?”
Nicole played with the sleeve of her hoodie and nibbled on her bottom lip nervously. She adjusted her glasses and met patiently waiting eyes.
She’d been skeptical about going to counseling when her uncle Nedley had first suggested. As much as she dreaded admitting it, it had helped. After months of nightmares Chrissy had advised she at least give one session a chance.
Eighteen months later there she was sitting once more before Dr. Dolls on a Tuesday afternoon like clockwork.
“It was okay. Nothing eventful,” she answered after a moment. She thought about her next words.
Dr. Dolls nodded encouragingly.
“One of my classmates asked me to tutor her.” Nicole wrung her fingers. It was a habit she did when she felt unsure. “We start tomorrow.”
“And how do you feel about doing so?”
Nicole’s eyes shone with a sadness the therapist didn’t quite like.
“I’ve heard the way she speaks in our history class. I don’t think she really needs my help.”
The therapist carefully pressed on. “Is that how you really feel?”
Nicole bit her lip and dropped her gaze, carefully pondering her answer. She refused to look up as she spoke. “I mean why would someone like her want help from me? She’s already in the running for valedictorian of our class. She’s smart and pretty and popular. I’m just—I’m me.”
Dr. Dolls set her pen down catching Nicole’s timid gaze. “Nicole you’re very smart yourself, kid. Don’t forget you’re also in that run for valedictorian.”
Nicole felt herself blush. She was never one to brag about her grades. “I think she may underestimate herself a little, you know? She didn’t do too badly on the exam. She’s only a few points behind me in class.”
“You sound fond of this classmate,” the therapist observed.
It hadn’t been missed the way brown eyes lit up with admiration. It was clear it meant a little more to Nicole than she was allowing to let on.
Dr. Dolls was silent for a moment, considering Nicole’s words. “There’s nothing wrong with needing a little help. It does sound like you may have somethings in common.”
Nicole’s eyebrows knitted together in thought. “I’m just helping her study, Wynonna.”
Dr. Dolls preferred they were on a first name basis and though Nicole knew it was a method used to establish comfort, she didn’t mind it too much.
Wynonna didn’t push further on the matter. She could see Nicole was being hesitant. Perhaps the tutor sessions would help bring out the confidence Wynonna saw a glimpse of every once in a while.
“Would you like to talk about the-”
“No,” Nicole quickly answered. “No. Just… Not today.”
Wynonna sighed and glanced at the calendar on the corner of her notebook. “We should discuss it at some point, kid.”
Nicole gave a sharp nod and Wynonna knew they’d reached the end of their session.
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“Baby girl! I’m home!” Wynonna stumbled into the quiet house with a bag full of Chinese food. “Chump better not be up there, Earp!” Wynonna had made it clear she did not approve of Champ Hardy and that he was not welcomed in their home. That boy was bad news and Wynonna did not like him one bit.
“I brought food!” she announced making it to the kitchen.
That seemed to get an immediate reaction and a very excited Waverly made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, reaching for the vegetable noodles as soon as Wynonna set out the food down. Wynonna was relieved when no one else joined the table.
“Hello to you too,” Wynonna rolled her eyes as Waverly plopped herself into a chair.
Waverly gave a mouth full of noodles smile.
Wynonna chuckled and settled into the chair across her younger sister. “How was school kid?”
After a few more bites Waverly cleared her throat to speak. “You know how it goes. One minute you’re doing cartwheels and the next you’re failing exams.”
They exchanged dishes across the table, Wynonna reaching to pick at Waverly’s plate despite having the same serving on her own. “Can’t be that bad. I’ve never known you to fail any course you’ve taken.”
Waverly swatted Wynonna’s hand away. “You have your own. And no it’s not that bad but I’m a few points behind in that class and I can’t really afford to fall behind if I’m ever going to be valedictorian senior year.”
“You still have two years to go kid. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Wynonna grabbed a dumpling off Waverly’s plate and popped it into her mouth with a triumphed smile. “What said class is this anyway? You can grasp Latin, there shouldn’t be anything you can’t pass.”
Waverly glared at Wynonna and moved her plate out of the woman’s reach. “Eat your own food. It’s Astronomy. I got a 74% on the last exam. It doesn’t exactly put me behind.” She bit into a mouthful of fried rice. “But I don’t want to take any chances. One of my classmates is going to tutor me.”
Wynonna nearly choked on her food. She reached for Waverly’s glass of water and coughed a couple of times before finally clearing her throat. “Say baby girl when do these tutor sessions begin?”
Waverly took the opportunity to grab one of Wynonna’s dumplings. “Tomorrow after school. I’ll be going to morning cheer practice and the library after school so Nicole can help me.”
“Nicole?” Wynonna did her best to maintain an indifferent tone.
“Yes ma’am. Nicole Haught,” Waverly bit into the dumpling. “She’s really smart. Pretty quiet usually and keeps to herself a lot. Not sure why though. She seems cool but doesn’t really talk to anyone. I’m glad she agreed to help me,” she said through another bite.
Wynonna said nothing as Waverly finished off the dumpling.
“‘Nonna? Is everything alright?”
“Yeah baby girl,” Wynonna picked at her food and smiled weakly. “Sounds like she’s just the person you need.”
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Nicole woke up with a start in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat. She grasped the sheets holding on to it attempting to steady her heavy breathing. She shut her eyes tightly and shook her head reminding herself she was awake, that the nightmare was over, and wiped at the tears away angrily.
She pulled the sheets off herself and walked over to open the window before climbing out and up to the roof.
Nicole sat for a long moment staring up at the night sky. The cold air felt refreshing on numb skin. She gently ran her fingers over the scar on her left cheek and covered her mouth with her hand as a sob rose in her chest.
Despite having woken up from the dream she couldn’t stop the tears that continued to slip down her cheeks.
She wished she could make the aching in her chest go away, she wished she could go back to that night and change things, change everything.
She closed her eyes and wished and wished and wished.