Work Text:
He pours his heart into the blank corners of his favorite books, Yoongi notices. Taehyung, and the copies of literature he seems to start having an interest in overnight. He asks Yoongi for recommendations, knowing the elder has a long list of favorites, and perhaps there’s a warmth that spreads through Yoongi when he sees Taehyung pulling them out from his bag, new and and ready to be read by fresh eyes, on their private plane. Sitting across from him most trips, Yoongi starts to notice something peculiar—something that has his brows furrow in both curiosity and horror to the condition of the novels in the younger’s care.
Taehyung writes in them.
What he writes, Yoongi doesn’t know, but there’s something strangely cathartic in watching the younger, lost in his own world, scribbling furiously between the margins, tongue pressed cutely between his lips and brows pinched in focus. He asks Jimin about it, but the younger doesn’t seem to know either.
(“Oh. I don’t know, hyung. Taetae is pretty private with that kind of stuff.”
“That...stuff...”
“You know, writing? He doesn’t like to show anyone unless he absolutely thinks Namjoon hyung will approve. I always tell him his writing is so good though! Really, he shouldn’t be insecure about it.”)
Insecurity. Perhaps that’s what it boiled down to. It was no secret Taehyung’s work had been shot down the most when their company and team came together to approve and tweak lyrics, melodies, and compositions. It was no secret that Taehyung offered less and less as the years ticked by, staying silent through most meetings as line distributions were sorted. Of course, Yoongi knows Taehyung harbors no ill will in the collective decision making—they all have a say in the final product—however... he can’t say for certain whether or not Taehyung’s dimmed enthusiasm in sharing hadn’t been a direct result of it either.
Still, a part of Yoongi feels a bit wounded, a bit ruffled, to know that Taehyung has never approached him with any of his song ideas. He seemed to take to Hoseok or Namjoon in that regard, and maybe Yoongi feels a bit pouty about it. Maybe. It’s only until he watches Taehyung’s vlives—something he shamefully admits he hadn’t taken interest in when they’d actually gone live—(he lives with the man, for goodness sake) that Yoongi can see the insecurities of Taehyung’s carefully constructed facade of nonchalance bleed through the fissured cracks. He thinks of the younger’s Christmas duet being rejected by one of their producers, a little thing fueled by a big reason.
Maybe it was under strict secrecy that Taehyung was gay, but Yoongi didn’t share the producer’s belief that singing a duet with a male member would out Taehyung and cause the whole company to ‘crash and burn’. Hell, Jungkook and Jimin sang duets all the time and that seemed to be okay. Yoongi silently fumes as he watches the younger play a small snippet with their friend Adora filling in Jimin’s part. Despite her lovely vocals, Yoongi can’t help but notice the longing in Taehyung’s eyes and the small bit of disappointment when he further explains said producer wanted to keep the song from being both males.
He watches other Vlives, and frowns at the way Taehyung carries himself, shoulders hunched in and looking so small. Awkward, he’d admitted to the fans. But Yoongi doesn’t see that, he argues internally as the Taehyung on the screen shows off his art and talks about his favorite songs as of late. Their Taehyungie has always been brimming with passion for the things he loves. Yoongi knows ARMY will see that part of him as well.
Now though, as he finishes Taehyung’s most recent live, he’s happy to see the younger looking far more joyful. Yoongi hadn’t gone, even if his heart flipped a bit when hearing his name spoken so wistfully—(“I wish Yoongi hyung would come.”), but he’d grimaced in displeasure to discover at the end no other members arrived either. He doesn’t fault anyone, however. It’s been a long week and they’ve got another show tomorrow. Still...
He slides out of bed and shuffles over to his suitcase, shifting his things around until his fingers grasp a small gift bag. He’d been waiting for the right moment to give Taehyung this, but there never seemed to be time, and he surely did not want to present it in front of the other members, knowing he’d be teased endlessly for it. Now, though... now feels right, Yoongi concludes.
Taehyung is only slightly confused when he opens his hotel door, brows furrowed but a tired smile still in place. “Hyung?” Yoongi waddles his way inside, his silk pajamas doing nothing for the chill of the room. Taehyung always likes to keep his rooms so cold, to cuddle and swaddle himself in heavy blankets comfortably. “Everything okay?” The younger asks, breaking him from his silence in standing there, a little purple bag in his hand.
“Of course.” He responds, “why wouldn’t it be?”
Taehyung bites his lip, the confusion still there. “I just thought you’d been asleep is all. You worked hard today, hyung.”
Yoongi softens. “Thank you, Taehyung-ah. I’m okay, really. But you called for me, didn’t you?” When Taehyung cocks his head like a puzzled little puppy, Yoongi tries not to coo and instead teases lightly, “on your live. You wanted me here, hm?”
Yes, perhaps he’d meant to tease the younger, but when a small “Oh.” leaves his lips and a light dusting of pink spreads across his cheeks, Yoongi can’t help but feel his own ears heat up. “I didn’t know you watched!”
“It’s not that late, Taehyungie.” He tries to joke off the fluttering feeling inside his tummy, but Taehyung’s wide, reverent eyes are so debilitating.
“I meant...” he shrugs, moving around Yoongi to sit on the bed. “I just meant, you know, at all. I didn’t know you watched any of my vlives. You seem to ignore...er, well... nevermind. What’s that?”
A few weeks back and Taehyung would’ve been right about Yoongi ignoring his vlives, and a twinge of hurt squeezes in his chest. He silently promises to never let any of the members feel like he purposely ignores them. Still, he saves himself and Taehyung the embarrassment of responding to that, and instead holds the bag up, passing it gently into the younger’s hands as he sits beside him. “Just a little something I bought in London. I wanted to give it to you sooner,” he scratches a burning ear, “but we have been so busy lately.”
The way Taehyung beams at him, all teeth, looking so touched and grateful...it clogs Yoongi’s throat and flusters him all at once. It’s a simple gift, nothing to be over enthusiastic for... Taehyung doesn’t get that memo. He stares at the leather journal, a small engraving of his name on the corner, with parted lips and glossy eyes. “Wah,” he breathes before cradling it to his chest. “Thank you, hyung. I will cherish this gift.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Yoongi ducks his head. “I, uh. I notice you don’t really write anymore, but I always see you scribbling in your books.” He gives a half hearted glare at that, smiling fondly at Taehyung’s sheepish chuckle. “You should write more, Taehyungie. Now you can use this to jot everything down. And...and you can come to me, you know? If you...if you ever need help.”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything, his hands slowly placing the journal beside him. “Do you mean that?”
Yoongi frowns, angling his body so he faces the younger completely. “Of course I do. You think I wouldn’t be honest with you?” He immediately takes in the way Taehyung draws in on himself, his lip between his teeth as he worries it.
“I’m worried you’ll be too honest.” He chuckles wryly after a few moments. “I know my songs are not up to the level of the other guys’ but—“
“Taehyung.” Yoongi says firmly, cutting him off and reaching out to grasp the others hands as he pulls them into his lap and holds his gaze. “You are one of the most passionate people I know, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your hyung and I love you.” Taehyung swallows thickly, but Yoongi continues earnestly. “Your words touch so many people’s hearts, they invoke emotion and give such raw feeling. Please don’t doubt yourself, okay?”
When Taehyung sniffles, Yoongi does what feels natural and pulls him close, petting the back of the younger’s head gently. “I...okay hyung.” He mumbles into silk. “I know it’s late, but...would you like to read some of my stuff?”
“I’d love to.” Yoongi answers sincerely, smile coming easy after that. When he reads through the pages of the current book on Taehyung’s reading list (Boy Erased), Yoongi knows these raw words will, too, never see the light of day. Or perhaps...not anytime soon anyway. They do, however, stir something deep inside Yoongi, and he can’t help after a few pages to sniffle quietly to himself, emotions taken with Taehyung’s soul scattered in ink on the pages before him.
Taehyung looks at him worriedly, perhaps startled or nervous to his reaction. His fumbles with the fabric of his sweats in a nervous tick. “Hyung?”
“Don’t stop writing, Taehyung-ah.” Yoongi whispers, brushing his fingers over the scrawl before him. “Please, you’re—you’re so gifted. So talented, Taehyungie. Please don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.”
Taehyung looks down and quickly brings a hand up, trying to be discreet in wiping the tears Yoongi’s words have caused. He smiles timidly, scooting closer to hold the other’s hand. “Your opinion is the only one that matters to me.”
And Yoongi’s heart soars.
“Thank you, hyung.” For more than the gift. “Sleep with me tonight?”
“Okay.” He smiles unlocking a hand to once again pet soft brown locks.
Days later, when Taehyung sits across from him on their flight home, Yoongi smiles to himself when the younger pulls the leather journal out and writes across the page. Their eyes meet and Taehyung gives a shy smile before returning to his task, his cheeks bloomed a rosy red.
Heart beating quickly, Yoongi let’s his eyes close and falls asleep to the sound of ink on a page.