Chapter Text
“Val! Wake up… VALENTINA!”
Juliana softly slaps Val’s face twice. The woman just murmurs, still not opening her eyes. Juls walks to the kitchen, grabs an ice cube, and goes back to her room. Valentina stinks alcohol. Her half-naked body has visible hickeys all over it and Juls can only shake her head in disapproval.
The brunette throws the ice inside the woman’s pants, who instantly jumps waking up after the cold shock in her intimate parts.
“What the fuck, Juliana?” Val tries to reach the cube but it slips further inside her pants, making her curse madly.
“You finally woke up! I’ve been calling you for forty five minutes. I thought you were dead”. The response is filled with laughter.
Valentina grumbles, and after some time, she succeeded on taking the ice off her clothes. She sits up and her head spins, no memories from the previous night, not a single fact comes to mind. Juliana hands her an aspirin and a cup of water, which she accepts without any complaint.
“Fuck, I think I'm hung-over” She says after swallowing the medicine.
“You think? You’re fucked up Val! I’m tired of seeing you like this, every time…”
“Ohhh come on mom, I don’t need a lecture right now. I just want something to eat, what do we have for breakfast bebecita?” She mocked, already changing the subject.
Completely pissed off, Juls walked out of the bedroom. Valentina has that horrible habit of getting her ass drunk at parties and running to Juliana’s place in the middle of the dawn. Juls always takes care of her, puts Val on her feet again so the press won’t make any scandals of her lack of self-control. However, nothing lasts forever, and Juliana’s patience included.
In the kitchen, Juliana was finishing to eat her breakfast when Val went after her. Even with all attempts to start a conversation, the brunette refused to chat. Chewing her fruits salad slowly, Juls noticed her friend staring at her with those stunning blue eyes in between the dark shadows on her upper and lower eyelids.
“Chiquiiiita … you won’t talk to me? Really?” Valentina insisted, with her softest tone of voice. Juliana didn’t respond. “Mi amor, don’t be mad at me! Come on, gimme a smile”. Val hugged Juliana from behind, kissing her neck.
“I’m not your amor, and I’m not in the mood to smile”. She finally replied, building between them a wall of anger, but Valentina knows exactly how to destroy it.
“Chiquita, you’ll forever be mi amor. You’re my best friend and the only person in this whole world who truly takes care of me. Sabes que te amo” The words were whispered into Juliana’s ear, making her shiver head to toe.
The thing is, Juliana has a hard time being a lesbian and hearing her - beautiful, hot, and extremely sexy - best friend calling her amor. She always tried to convince herself that her feelings for Valentina are nothing more than true friendship. When Juls came out of the closet - when they were just completing the last year of high school - Val was the only friend who truly supported her. In college, Valentina discovered her bisexuality in one of those crazy pool parties – nothing wrong until here. The problem was that she discovered it kissing her best friend. They were drunk, Valentina a little bit more than Juliana, but both remember it perfectly.
For Juls, that kiss could have changed everything between them. But for Val, it just reaffirmed their friendship. For this, the brunette decided to move on. They indeed became inseparable friends, and their friendship bonds just got stronger with time. What concerns Juliana now is the fact she has been feeling a little more jealous than a best friend would normally feel. Val kisses boys and girls without knowing their names, just like changing clothes. She gets herself drunk, and when she is tired – or when her brain can't function after all the alcohol – she runs to Juliana’s apartment.
Hearing Valentina say that she loves her, always produces some effects on Juliana. The girl melts completely and always forgets any flaws from her bestie. However, Juls is tired. Tired of being Val’s safe place only when it is convenient to her, exhausted of wanting the best for her friend when the woman herself doesn’t care about her own well-being. This time, it didn’t work as Val expected.
“Fuck off Valentina! You don’t want to hear a lecture, then leave”. Juls slipped herself away from Val’s arms, rolling up her sleeves to wash the bowl she just used.
Valentina was trying to understand the source of such anger. Okay that she had partied all night long, but nothing different from other times. Juls has seen her drunk like that for a million times… “Que? Bebecita, why are you so bitter this morning?”
“Valentina, I really - REALLY - don’t want to argue. I have an important meeting in a couple hours and I need to prepare myself for that. So, now that you recovered yourself from another fabulous night, please find your way home!”
“Damn it! Bebecita, did I forget any of our especial dates? It’s not 14 de septiembre, is it?” She was trying to reach any memories that could give her a clue of what day was it. Maybe she really forgot a especial date. Val describes herself as a scatterbrain, because she never remembers important dates. Last year, she even forgot her own birthday.
“Oh, shut up! We’re in the middle of May.” Juls rolled her eyes while walking out of the kitchen, just to be followed by a reflective Valentina. “Val, there is no especial date in May. Now, I don’t want to be rude. Please, leave!”
“You are being rude Juliana! You didn’t even offer me breakfast and you are dumping me out of your house as if I am any kind of trash…”
“You really don’t want to start that bullshit!”
“Oh, you bet I want to start! Come on, I’m all cute with you and you treat me like that?”
“Cute?” That was enough for Juliana, she did her best to don’t explode, but sometimes a drop of gasoline can start a fire. “You fucking come to my house at two in the morning, drunk, completely wasted, accompanied by a bitch who I don’t even know her name - and I don’t care to know - and wakes up all my neighbors with your uncontrollable screams. Then, not satisfied, you pressed the building's fire alarm, triggering the firemen’s call. Guess what?! The firemen truck arrived in five minutes to find no emergencies.”
Val had her chin almost hitting the floor. “Oh fuck!”
“Oh fuck? That’s not all, Miss cuteness!!! You tried to hit on the firefighter but ended up puking on his boots. They wanted to call the cops and take you, but I begged them to forgive us. They only did because of your last name, and even though you don’t talk to your father, he saved your skin one more time just because you’re a Carvajal”. Juliana furiously sat down on the sofa, with both hands covering her own face, while her elbows rested on her thighs.
“Juls, I’m sorry. I don’t remem…”
“Of course you don’t remember Valentina. You never do! I’m tired of all your bullshit, you won’t change. You’ll just keep repeating that childish actions over and over. I’m done with it, I won’t overlook your bad behavior anymore. You were right, I am NOT your mom but I’m also not your fool”.
“Juliana, what do you mean? Chiquita I…”
“I mean that I had enough, Valentina. Please, go home!”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“Breaking up with someone is when you have a relationship with the other person, what we have is definitely not a relationship Valentina”. Juliana lowered her head, tears falling down on her face. She was hurt to say that, but it was the truth.
“Wow! Just, wow. I thought we were best friends, osea… I know I screwed up badly this time, but you’re overreacting. You are kicking me out of your house Juls… what the hell?!”
“No, Val. I am telling you we need a time. It’s almost self-destruction what I do with myself to make sure you’re fine. But what about me, have you ever thought about my well-being?”
“Claro que sí bebecita. Te quiero more than anyone in this life. Juls...”
Valentina suddenly had flashbacks in her mind. Uncountable times of Juliana rescuing her from parties, taking care of her headaches, making sure that her “adventures” did not fall on paparazzi’s hands. Her best friend's pleads, tears, and sadness after her “little drunk ass shows”. But something was telling her that her last night shit wasn’t the main reason for Juliana’s rage. After all, Val had done stupidities all while, since they became friends, and Juliana never got that mad.
“Chiquita, please tell me what I need to do in order for you to forgive me...”
“Valentina, enough! We already had that conversation a million times before; you never fulfill your promises. I won’t change you, you’re what you are. And if you are happy with this lifestyle, fine… but I am not witnessing you killing yourself with alcohol and drugs”
“Drugs? I don’t use it anymore…”
“No? So, what the fuck is that sac bag full of ecstasy pills doing in your purse?”
That was it. Valentina couldn’t remember if that little bag was hers or not, she doesn’t recall a thing from the previous night. How would she convince Juliana it wasn’t hers, if herself didn’t know about it. Valentina swallowed hard, this time she really fucked up. She is losing her best friend, the best thing that ever happened to her. The only person she trusts her life and her secrets, the only one who truly loves – or loved – her. And she managed to transform their friendship into a hell.
Juliana opened the door and stood there without looking at her. The brown eyes were outlined by the redness of her disappointment, materialized in hot tears on her face. Val had nothing to say in her own defense, not a single word. She collected her belongings and before leaving, she kissed Juliana’s cheek.
Closing the door was one of the hardest things Juliana ever had to do in life, but it was - without any doubt - much necessary. The problem is that reason isn’t enough to control the heart, and the only thing she could do was cry her soul out.
-
Two weeks had passed and Valentina tried to call and text Juliana more than a thousand times, but never succeeded in getting an answer from the brunette. The distance between them was killing her, how could Juls do that to her? They’re almost inseparable.
It was a Friday afternoon when Valentina decided to personally tell Juls that this time between them needed to be over. She might had drunk a few liters of Mescal before heading to Juliana’s studio. When she arrived there, she had no trouble to get in. Val is officially Juliana’s main model, and the designer’s personel knows the woman and the friendship both have.
Valentina passed by the secretary without saying a word and entered Juliana’s office, just to find it empty. The poor girl tried to run after her, but Val can be very fast when she is mad. Finally reaching the model, Karina – Juliana’s secretary – informed her that Juls was in a meeting but soon enough she would be back. Valentina made herself comfortable on the couch inside the office while waiting for her “friend”. Were they still friends? She thought to herself.
The sound of the door opening made her wake up from her nap. It wasn’t Juls, it was “bitch Sergio” – Juliana’s gay cousin, terrible personal advisor, and manager. Valentina hates him; because she simply hates him, and also because he always tries to keep Val away from Juls. He says that Valentina doesn’t do any good to the brand’s reputation, neither for Juliana personally.
“Oh, and here is the fucked up princess! I thought you had finally understood that Juli is way happier without you in her life…”
“Hi bitch! I know you missed me but don’t worry, I don't plan to be away from her anymore.” the interaction between them is always that sweet and pleasant.
“That’s what we’ll see”. He interrupted her snapping fingers near her face. That was when he felt the odor of alcohol exhaling from the girl. “Are you drunk? That’s fabulous, Juli will love it! I don’t even need to make any effort to keep you away from her, idiot. You do the job yourself!” he stated with a laugh and a pleasured smile on his stupid - ugly -face.
He wasn’t telling any lies, though. And it fucking hurts to agree with him, but he’s right. They’ve fought because Val had drunk, and now she’s just repeating her mistakes. But it was too late to run away, Juls entered the office. In between the seconds of her eyes finding the brown ones, she thought that, in fact, maybe Juliana is happier without her. And also maybe, Valentina is like an anchor to her friend’s life; keeping Juls drowning because she keeps pulling her friend down the surface with her.
“Val!”
The world stops. Valentina forgets everything else. Her mistakes, her regrets, the flaws, and stupidities. Idiot Sergio. It’s just Juliana and her. She runs towards the brunette’s arms, who catches her firmly. They stay in a deep embrace for minutes, without sharing a word. Sergio leaves the room to let them have a private talk.
“I thought I’d never see you again!” Valentina spoke choking up, tears in her blue eyes.
“Oh, don’t be dramatic! You know I can’t live without you…” Juliana was soft, and patient, and lovely as always. Valentina asked herself if she truly deserves that woman in her life, and the answer was hurtful. She concluded, again, that bitch Sergio was right.
She felt emotional, something that she always tries to avoid: showing her feelings. But it could be the alcohol effect, or maybe it was because they haven’t talked nor seen each other for two whole weeks… she started to cry, desperately.
Taking Juliana’s face in between her hands, so they could look deeply into each other’s eyes, she confessed. “I can’t live without you either Chiquita! Please, forgive me!” The tears were uncontrollably dropping, as Juliana had never seen.
After a few minutes of crying and hugs, both calmed down. Juls decided to wait until Valentina said everything she wanted to say. The woman was uncontrollably talking for minutes, and Juls only listening. Apologies accepted, they agreed to put an end in this "time" story. Neither of them can’t stand the absence in each other’s life for too long, and two weeks was a new - and painful - record.
“Val, you’re drunk again!” Juliana couldn’t let it pass.
“I know. But chiqui, I was mad at you! I called you a thousand times and you wouldn’t answer. I really tried to stay sober, but my anger for not getting a reply and my fears of losing you controlled me”.
“You’re too stupid, you know that!?” Juls laughed seeing Val’s disapproval face. “You won’t ever lose me Valentina. I just needed some time to think”.
Valentina wanted to tease, as they usually do with one another, but that was a serious talk and she had done enough folly for the past days. “Any conclusions?” she asked earnestly.
“Sí. Three!” the smirk on Juliana’s lips almost made Val lose her composure.
“Three?” she replied biting her lower lip.
“One: I really missed you these days, and your stupid attitude”. Valentina smiled, a bit proud a bit worried about her own lack of understanding of what she was feeling in that very moment. “Two: I won’t change you, and I won't try to anymore”. Before Valentina could reply, Juliana placed her finger on Val’s lip to prevent her from speaking. The feeling produced by the soft touch made Val shiver. “Shut up and listen, you’ve talked enough already. And your alcohol breath is awful!” The two laughed.
Val was all ears, and Juls decided it was the time to have a definitive talk about her feelings for her bestie. The brunette paused for a few seconds, trying to gain confidence.
“Okay. I don’t agree with your lifestyle and you perfectly know that”. Val nodded at her, but remained in silence. “But I also don’t want you to change because of me. It’s your life, and I have no rights to decide what is best for you”.
“Juls, I-”
“Shut up Valentina! Listen, just listen please”. The vehemence on Juliana’s tone of voice sent a wave of pleasure to Val’s body. What the hell is going on with me? Val thought.
“So, if you want to keep going with that ‘sex, drugs, and alcohol’ attitude, fine. I won’t ever say a word to you about that, but you cannot continue ‘visiting me’ in the middle of the night. My neighbors hate you, and I can’t blame them!”
Both laughed, and Juls kept explaining her point of view. “Third,” that was the part which Juliana would declare her true feelings, telling Valentina she'd always been crazy about her; that she wanted to kiss her and truly love her, make her the happiest woman on earth… but courage sometimes let us down.
“Third, I love you, and I want the best for you. And I…” Valentina’s blue eyes were fixed and focused at her. The saliva in her mouth suddenly dried, making her swallow a thick air instead. “I want you in my life Val. We’re best friends; I don’t want this to ever end”. That wasn’t exactly what she wanted to say, but best friends came out. However, in order to keep Valentina in her life, Juls lastly accepted it would be better that way.
Val could swear that Juliana wans’t being totally honest. She just knows her friend too well. But, for some reason, the words - best friends – were taking her attention away. It never felt so… weird?
“Juls, I am sorry for making you suffer that much! I really have been-” An unexpected pause.
Standing up quickly, Valentina tried to find a trash can. Juliana didn’t understand what she was doing, but soon enough she did. Val puked near her desk on the floor. Odor of aged alcohol all over the place.
With a blush on her face, feeling ashamed, Valentina tried to apologize. Juliana said it was fine, almost puking too just for feeling the horrible smell in the place. She grabbed Valentina by the hand and both walked out the room. Juls told Sergio to send someone to clean the office for her, and he shot Valentina a disgusted look, which only made her feel even more embarrassed.
“Chiquita, I’m sorry!”
“That’s ok cariño. Let’s go home! You didn’t come here driving, did you?”
“No, I don’t remember where I’ve put my car keys last night, so I came by uber”.
Juls couldn’t hold the laugh. Not only because Valentina always forgets where she puts her keys, but also for admitting it this time. Val usually refuses to accept that she has a terrible memory, trying to impede Juliana’s jokes about it.
That evening, Juliana drove Valentina home, helped her to take a shower, and both laid down together on the couch to watch a movie just to end up falling asleep. Cuddling, as they are so used to do in those years of friendship. Maybe nothing has changed between them, or perhaps, everything has changed.