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English
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2019-07-02
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842
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1/1
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I can't carry this anymore

Summary:

Natasha was okay, and that was good enough for now.

Or.

I was super emo cause I watched Endgame again and so I wrote this fic about Maria and Natasha before the fall of Shield.

Work Text:

Maria looked at her watch for the fifth time in an hour. She’d been uncharacteristically fidgety ever since Natasha’s comms went dark hours ago. Of course, on the outside, Maria’s face remained rigid and unbothered, her stare unwavering and cold. She was trying so desperately to suppress her worries. The survivor inside of her was fighting off the worry like it was a virus. It’s always been easier for Maria to simply not care, there’s less distractions that way. As a matter of fact, she used to pride herself about not needing anyone. If she was honest, Maria didn’t need Natasha and Natasha probably didn’t need Maria either but Natasha made her feel like herself.

 

Natasha made her feel like Maria Hill, not deputy director Hill, not Agent Hill, just Maria. Just Maria who likes her coffee black without even a single drop of sugar, Maria who likes to buy books even though she didn’t have time to read them. Natasha made her feel more like Maria Hill than she’s ever felt. (if that even makes sense). 

 

And so Maria stomached her worries and focused herself back on the stack of recruit files sitting in front of her. It’s the perfect distraction, she forced her fingers to open a file and start working before her thoughts could consumer her again. The logical part of her brain knows that Natasha’s more than capable at completing missions that go awry but Maria’s never been logical when it came to Natasha.

 

Once she finished brushing up on the files of the new recruits, Maria headed directly down to the situation room. Natasha and Clint’s mission file being only accessible to those with a level seven clearance meant that there was only a skeleton crew. Maria nodded hello to some of the Agents before taking a seat in front of a console. Her heart twisted and sunk with nerves as she sat in front of the computer. The white light enveloped her, coldly, as she nursed her headache. 

 

There’s nothing she could do but wait.

 

She’s drifting off when Natasha’s voice cuts through the room as clear as day. 

 

“Requesting extraction, package acquired,” It’s four simple words but Maria felt the air rush back into her lungs. 

 

She tapped on her headset and started to speak, “Extraction on the way, good work agents,” she closed off, her voice devoid of any emotion. 

 

“Copy that,” Natasha answered and then silence. 

 

Maria sighed and yanked her headset out of her ears before standing up. Her agents looked up at her expectantly waiting for their orders.

“Rodriguez, Hunter, I want you two to stay for extraction, the rest of you are dismissed, get some rest,” She ordered calmly. 

 

_____________

 

Maria slumped in her favourite armchair and unholstered her gun from her thigh and threw it on the coffee table. What she needed was sleep, to wrap herself into her warm soft bed and re-energize but she’s stubborn. 

 

So she sat and waited patiently for that familiar click of the door. She waited for Natasha to stumble into their apartment, she waited for that feeling of relief to wash over her. 

 

She waited because she knew that she needed to see for herself that Natasha was okay. She waited because she knew that Natasha would be too stubborn to go down to medical before coming home. 

 

And when Natasha stumbled her way into the apartment Maria doesn’t skip a beat. Her eyes scanned Natasha’s body looking for any injuries. Not that she’d be able to tell if Nat didn’t want her to know anyways. Although, Natasha’s walls usually crumble at the sight of Maria. 

 

“Tasha,” She breathed out as her girlfriend planted herself onto her lap. Natasha smelled of gunpowder and blood but Maria still pulled her close and leaned into her. Her silence was somehow comforting and spoke for itself, and it was in that moment of absolute stillness, that Maria let herself breathe again.

 

Natasha pulled away ever so slightly and pressed their foreheads together, “I’m okay, just a few bruises,” She said, answering the question on the tip of Maria’s tongue. Maria nodded and leaned in to capture Natasha’s lips in a soft kiss. 

 

“You scared me,” Maria admitted, her voice muffled by Natasha’s shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry love,” 

 

Natasha kissed her and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, her hand rested below Maria’s ear, thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. She whined at the loss of contact when Natasha pulled away but not even a second later she felt a hot breath on her neck, then the tender brush of lips. A hand runs through her hair, as the kisses become harder and more urgent.

 

“Shower with me?” Natasha asked pulling away. Maria looked at her and smiled softly, “Always,”

 

_____________


That night Maria felt the fatigue of the day leave her body as Natasha wrapped herself snuggly around her. Maria released the weight of the world and relaxed into her girlfriend. 

 

Natasha was okay, and that was good enough for now.