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01
it’s such a small thing, something so little, but it catches his attention all the same and holds it in place every single time - “aren’t you going to finish that?” he asks. jihoon glances up from the book he’s reading.
“sorry?”
soonyoung nods at the side table next to him, the mug balanced just at the edge of it. he says, “that. the tea seungcheol made you. you’re not going to finish it?” jihoon stares at it a moment.
“no,” he says after some time. “i don’t think i will.” and soonyoung leaves it at that.
but then, later that day when the three of them - soonyoung, jihoon, seungcheol - leave the apartment to meet jeonghan at the library he works in, it happens again. jeonghan keeps a kettle in the back room and a box of earl grey, and when soonyoung asks for a cup he adds, “could you make one for jihoon, too? it’s his favorite.” the latter appreciates the sentiment, but he doesn’t finish it then, either.
a day later, jihoon walks into the kitchen at half past nine in the morning with his sweatpants still on and the sort of hair that birds could sleep in. he yawns and stretches, barely getting the words past his half-asleep brain: “this for me?” he’s reaching for the mug on the counter. soonyoung glances over his shoulder from where he’s at, hovering over the stove and - er - trying to flip a pancake.
“hm? oh, yeah. i made it for you.”
ten minutes later, then -
“could i have another?”
“you can’t make it yourself?” soonyoung raises an eyebrow but takes the empty mug back anyway to refill it. jihoon’s got half his face covered by the palm of his hand, swiping at his eye and pushing the hair back from his forehead, and he raises a lopsided sort of grin.
“i could,” he says, “but it’s not the same. it just tastes better when you make it.”
soonyoung laughs a little, and he can feel himself flushing all the way down to his heart.
he always smiles when he sees an empty mug, now.
02
soonyoung’s a heavy sleeper, he is, and jihoon tends to stay up later than him. reading on the couch, flicking through different channels on tv, whatever it is - soonyoung, without fail, will always lean over to press a kiss to his forehead before saying goodnight and heading to bed. and by the time jihoon is ready to slip under the covers, he’s dead asleep.
but there’s this thing, this cute little thing soonyoung does, and he does it every single night; jihoon’s got about five seconds to settle in before he, still asleep, reaches out to the other side of the bed and starts grabbing around. grabbing, grabbing, looking for something to grab onto - usually it’s jihoon’s arm that he gets hold of, after which he’ll pull himself closer until there’s not even an inch of space between them, laying his head against jihoon’s shoulder and then going quiet again.
literally, every night. jihoon isn’t sure if soonyoung’s actually asleep when he does this or if he’s only too tired to open his eyes, but it doesn’t matter. it always makes him smile a little. he kind of hopes soonyoung isn’t totally unconscious, to be honest; he kind of hopes that soonyoung knows that jihoon always, always leaves a kiss right at the corner of his eye afterward. his little bit of love to give back at the end of the day.
it’s only a little thing, a small sort of ritual between the two of them, but jihoon likes to think that it’s those little things that count the most.
03
soonyoung screws up his knee one day after dance practice, and it doesn’t heal up until a few weeks later. jihoon takes it upon himself to buy one of those big jars of tiger balm and apply it for soonyoung every day, a couple times a day. soonyoung’s a little bitch sometimes (he knows) and he’s cranky, annoyed at getting injured and more annoyed that he can’t even be the one to take care of his own mistake - but jihoon is unwavering and he always insists. “You’re so stubborn,” is what he says. “if this was an inconvenience to me, i’d let you do it yourself, but it’s not. i just want to help.” and soonyoung lets him.
he sings, too. that’s something soonyoung can’t do himself. or, he could, but it wouldn’t be the same.
jihoon sings softly in that sweet voice of his and doesn’t meet soonyoung’s eyes, not ever (soonyoung doesn’t take it personally, he knows he’s only a little embarrassed). he sings kindly and tells soonyoung to not be so hard on himself, everyone gets injured, it’ll pass. you’re okay. you’re wonderful. i love you.
jihoon does this every day of every week, starting from the night soonyoung hurts himself until even a few nights after it’s fully healed. “just to be on the safe side,” jihoon says.
soonyoung thinks he’s awfully lucky.
04
they do their grocery shopping together, because it’s quicker and more efficient (“and i like seeing the way you look at me when i ride the shopping cart like a scooter,” soonyoung says.
“like you’re an idiot?”
“no, like you love me.”).
sometimes they’ll split to grab different things - soonyoung goes for the cereal, jihoon checks the vegetable aisle - and every time they find each other in the store jihoon is greeted by soonyoung’s great, big, bright smile. eyes soft like starlight, fond. because soonyoung is so cute, because he’s an angel. because jihoon’s just so incredibly lucky and never, not once has he ever found himself short on love. it makes his heart go warm.
so, jihoon has taken to messing with soonyoung just the tiniest bit, in that sometimes (every time) he’ll purposely wander off to drift around the store by himself for a bit. and when he bumps into soonyoung again, he can see that smile again.
he’s never told the boy. he’s worried that, if he did, soonyoung might stop doing it. he never has.
how many times have they gone shopping together? and soonyoung still smiles when he sees jihoon, always.
yes, jihoon thinks. it makes his heart go warm.
05
jihoon isn’t typically one for games, not so playful as soonyoung is, but there’s always one thing they do that makes him giggle.
when they’re out in public and holding hands, they have a little hand-squeezing contest. it started some time ago - soonyoung would always give jihoon’s hand a squeeze, just because, and eventually, jihoon started squeezing his back.
it’s almost silly, but jihoon isn’t typically one for games and this is the exception, this is the one that he’s almost always willing to play, and soonyoung thinks it’s so precious. he likes the way their hands fit together. he likes how jihoon has the thought to do that thumb-rubby thing that makes soonyoung’s chest feel light. he likes that they’re always there, reminding each other that yes, this feels right, i like this.
he just likes it. he loves jihoon, though. loves him to death.
06
jihoon likes that he’s able to call soonyoung a sound sleeper, he likes how peaceful he looks when he’s resting like that. soonyoung doesn’t have nightmares very often, but when he does, it sucks . jihoon looks over at him and how uneasy he is and it hurts, because even if it’s nothing more than his own head playing tricks on him, it hurts to see him scared.
so when it happens, jihoon will shake his arm a little and say his name, softly, until he’s woken up.
and soonyoung, with shaky breaths and shaky eyes, will move until he’s got both his arms wrapped firmly around jihoon and his head pressed in the crook of his neck. he doesn’t let go for a long time.
“i feel safe with you,” soonyoung had told him one time, when jihoon had asked about it. jihoon could’ve laughed at how uncharacteristically bashful he seemed when he said it, but he was too busy trying to manage his heartbeat instead.
“i know they’re only nightmares, i know they can’t hurt me, no matter what … but i feel better having you close. i always do.”
07
did soonyoung ever mention how pretty he thinks jihoon’s smile is? because it is, and he thinks he could go on for a lifetime talking about how much he loves it, if you give him the chance.
one of his favorite things is when they go out to eat with friends, and jihoon isn’t the touchy, clingy, pda type of boyfriend, but he always scoots his seat as close as possible to soonyoung’s. then he does it - looks at soonyoung with his shiny, dreaming eyes and gives him the softest, cutest, most wonderful smile soonyoung thinks he’s ever seen. he’ll rest his head on soonyoung’s shoulder a minute or two, even.
soonyoung thinks about this a lot. he thinks about jihoon a lot, actually. like. all the time. every hour, every day of every year starting since before they even began dating. he thinks about his cute little nose and how it’s the most perfect thing in the world to kiss. how his cheeks are perfect for kissing, too. his forehead, his eyes, his hands, his mouth -
soonyoung thinks about jihoon a lot. he thinks about how stupidly in love he is.
08
you could ask jihoon to name off the things he loves about soonyoung. he could list them, if you’d like? numbered and in alphabetical order, he could do it, and the paper would run miles long. his pen would run out of ink. maybe he could say it all, instead, but then his mouth just wouldn’t stop running. what is it that he loves about soonyoung?
well, let’s see,
there’s the fact that he’s, quite literally, the sweetest, most beautiful boy in the world. his smile could probably power the electricity in a whole country, to be quite honest - and his eyes , god, they’re stars, plain and simple. his hair is soft and cheeks are soft and his voice is soft - except when he’s shouting, because soonyoung is loud and jihoon still loves him even when he has no understanding of what an indoor voice is - and he’s so thoughtful, so considerate, so selfless, he does everything he can to make jihoon happy, to the point that jihoon himself has to say hey, take it easy, look after yourself - truth is, it doesn’t usually even matter if soonyoung’s looking out for himself, because jihoon always is - oh, and he’s crazy talented, too, jihoon will always say he’s soonyoung’s biggest fan - and, and -
everything. jihoon loves everything. from his feet up to the very last hair on his head, jihoon loves soonyoung. he doesn’t need a list.
he loves it when soonyoung exists, and that says it all.