Chapter Text
"I am not getting married in that."
Nell Van Dort gawped at her, as if she'd announced her intention to march naked down the aisle. "What? Of course you are!" she snapped, thrusting the dress at Alice. "It's from Worth! In Paris! William and I paid 500 pounds to have them design and ship this out to us in time! It was made especially for you!"
"Funny how that could be, given they didn't have my measurements," Alice said, wrinkling her nose. Ugh. . .it could have been a nice dress, she supposed. If perhaps you reduced the bustle from its current status as 'could be used as an emergency seat for a surprise guest.' And cut off what had to be fifteen layers of tulle and lace, billowing the skirt out so far she had no idea how she'd fit through a doorway. And if you removed most of the gemstones winking at her from the chest – diamonds and rubies and sapphires, so heavily encrusted that the bodice resembled a sparkly suit of armor. And tore off every unnecessary ribbon – which, considering just how many Nell had convinced the designer to cram on there, would take the better part of a day. And shortened the sleeves, and adjusted the neckline, and sliced off the ruffles, and – well. If you went right back to the pattern and redid it all, it could have been a nice dress.
"We asked Dr. Wilson – he gave us a good estimate," Nell replied, oblivious to Alice's jaw nearly hitting the floor. "Obviously we'll have to have a fitting or two to make sure everything's just right. You can use my dressmaker – she's done commissions for the Earl of Pembroke's wife!"
"You asked–" Alice pinched the bridge of her nose, holding back a Hysterical scream. "No. No, I won't blame him. . .he must have thought you were doing something nice for me. . .I don't know why, but. . ." She looked up, pinning Nell to the wall with a glare. "You know my taste in clothes. In what universe did you think I would willingly wear that?"
"You have to!" Nell insisted, shaking the hanger. "500 pounds from the best designer in all of Europe! The Queen herself probably can't boast of spending this much on a dress!"
"Certainly not on a dress like that," the Queen of Hearts commented from over Alice's shoulder, sneering at the monstrosity. "Part of being a Queen is having style."
"Mmm. Look, I understand it was expensive," Alice said, folding her arms. "And I'm terribly sorry you've wasted your money. But I am not, nor will I ever, put a finger inside that dress."
Nell puffed up like a cobra ready to strike. "Do you really think you have a choice?"
"Yes, actually. Because Victoria and I already bought my wedding dress."
You could practically hear the air hissing out of her as Nell went from furious red to shocked white faster than an exchange of pawns in Looking-Glass Land. "Wha – but – when?" she squeaked.
"Last week," Alice replied, relishing the look on Nell's face. "Granted, it's not done yet – there's still a few fittings left to go – but it's paid for." She grinned as she gave the knife a final twist. "In fact, I designed the gown myself. The dressmaker was quite impressed."
Nell gaped like a particularly dull Snark. "500 pounds!" she finally repeated, squeezing the dress against her bosom.
Alice shrugged, smirking. "Spend another 50 and get it dyed and let out to fit you."