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Shouto watched with wary eyes as Fuyumi and Touya argued with one another in the compartment. She was either trying to fix his tie or strangle him with it. Honestly, he wasn’t sure, seeing as how they’d been throwing barbed comments at one another for the better part of the train ride. As Head Girl, Fuyumi, of course, had a reputation to uphold, and she did not want her twin brother looking like a vagabond. According to her, Touya walked around with his tie not even done half the time and shirt untucked, but she wanted him to look good just this once.
“It’s for me,” Fuyumi told him, “not for Dad.”
That did the trick. Shouto saw the immediate difference in Touya’s behavior. His shoulders dropped, his expression turned impassive, and his eyes darted away from hers. He could stubbornly resist whatever their father told him to do, but not what his sister asked of him. He might’ve been awful at school, a menace to those in Slytherin that wanted enough points to win the House trophy and a terror to anyone in other Houses that got in his way, but Fuyumi was one of Touya’s few weak spots.
“I’ll be good this year,” Touya muttered, “I promise.”
Fuyumi rolled her eyes. “You’re just saying that because Keigo is Head Boy.”
“No, it’s definitely for you.”
“Mmhm, because I’m so important.”
Touya grabbed her hands to stop her smoothing the wrinkles out his robes. “You are. I’m fucking pissed that Dad didn’t even acknowledge you becoming Head Girl. You have the top grades in our year. You’re talented as hell. What more could he ask of you?”
Fuyumi smiled faintly. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” Touya snapped, and she flinched. He grimaced and let go of her hands, only to tentatively cup her face. She lifted her eyes to meet his. Touya and their father didn’t get along for a lot of reasons, but they had a similar temper. He tried to suppress it most of the time at home, but it slipped out here and there even with them. “I’m proud of you. I don’t care what he says or doesn’t say; you did good.”
“Yeah, well–” Fuyumi ducked her head, forcing him to let go of her. “I wish you didn’t go out of your way to be so bad. You’re better than that.”
“Nah, you got all the good genes,” Touya quipped, pocketing his hands in his robes.
Shaking her head, Fuyumi sighed and gave him a flat look, the grin on his face causing her lips to twitch. If Fuyumi was his weakness, Touya was hers. She wouldn’t be allowed to be so nice if he did something bad enough to force her to get onto him. “I’m meeting up with Keigo before we get to Hogwarts. Did you want to come with me?”
Touya sat down. “Nah, I’m good here. It’s just gonna be all uppity stuff.”
Before Fuyumi could slide the compartment door back, it burst open to reveal Natsuo. “Snack lady is coming! I’m gonna buy the whole thing!”
“You better not,” Fuyumi warned him.
“It’s Shouto’s first year,” Natsuo insisted. “We have to celebrate in style.”
Putting her hands on her hips, Fuyumi asked, “And just how would you afford to buy the whole cart?”
“Er…” Natsuo’s eyes flickered to Touya. She turned back to glare at her twin with narrowed eyes. He simply shrugged in response, acting completely innocent even when they knew he wasn’t. When Fuyumi turned away, he pulled his hand out of his pocket and flashed a galleon, flipping it between his fingers before it vanished in his palm. He hid his hand in his pocket again and winked. Shouto smiled.
“We’ll be good,” Touya drawled boredly, waving a dismissive hand at her. “I’ll keep an eye on them while you and Keigo conduct official business.”
“Somehow I don’t find that comforting,” Fuyumi muttered. She glanced back at Shouto one last time before ducking out of the compartment and shutting the door.
After waiting a few seconds, Natsuo rushed to swarm Touya. “How much did you get?”
Touya smirked. “Enough that I probably shouldn’t go home for the holidays.”
“Oh man! Dad’s going to be furious!” It wasn’t funny, but Natsuo was grinning and so was Touya, so Shouto allowed himself a small smile.
Their father was...terrifying. Shouto liked to think that he wasn’t afraid of him, but Touya was fearless. The two of them actively got into it with one another. Touya had to be careful before since he was so prone to accidental magic whenever he lost control of his emotions, but now that he could legally use magic outside of school, it could get messy at home. Fuyumi worried he would run away, but he hadn’t yet. One time, he didn’t come back home for three days, but it turned out he was staying at his best friend’s house until things cooled down.
After this year, he would be gone. No one talked about it, but they knew their father wouldn’t let Touya stay even if he wanted to. He’d likely be written off the family tree just as their mother had been after her institutionalization at St. Mungo’s six years ago. Shouto considered himself very lucky to have one year at Hogwarts with his siblings before they went their separate ways.
Now that he was going to school, he didn’t have to worry about his father. Living alone with him for four years since Natsuo joined Fuyumi and Touya at Hogwarts had been miserable. He didn’t like being separated from his siblings, something of which his father had already done since Shouto proved to be exceptionally strong even before going to school. Still, the closer they got to Hogwarts, the more anxious and silent he became. All eleven years of his life felt like they were for this moment. In just a few hours, he would be sorted into a House, but he had no clue which one.
He knew which one his father wanted. The Todoroki family was filled to the brim with Slytherins. Not only were they one of the oldest pureblood families, but they were rich and powerful too. There wasn’t a household with a witch or wizard in it that didn’t know the Todoroki name. Touya said it came with a price. Certain things would be expected of them. If their father had been furious over Fuyumi’s sorting into Ravenclaw, he had downright refused to look at Natsuo for being placed in Hufflepuff.
And Touya often said he regretted allowing the Sorting Hat to place him in Slytherin. Shouto didn’t understand what he meant by “allowing” since the Hat made the decisions for them. Didn’t it magically know what was in their hearts and minds? It knew what was best for them, didn’t it?
“Hey, you’ve been awfully quiet,” Natsuo piped up, snapping Shouto out of his thoughts. “You okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” Shouto replied automatically.
Natsuo frowned and glanced at Touya, who simply shrugged and went back to twirling his black wand and staring out the window. “Nervous about the Sorting, huh?”
Shouto glanced down at his hands. “A little, I guess.”
“So was I,” Natsuo admitted, “but you shouldn’t be. You’ll do fine.”
Before Shouto could ask if that was how he’d felt after being placed in Hufflepuff, there was a knock on the door and a voice announcing the snack trolley. Touya blindly handed Natsuo a handful of coins, not even bothering to count how much they were worth, and Natsuo eagerly jumped to greet the trolley lady and get as many sweets he could afford. Candy wasn’t allowed at home, so they went all out here.
While Natsuo was busy, Touya pulled his attention away from the window and leaned forward. “You’re worried about what you should want, aren’t you? You don’t know whether you want to follow what Dad wants, if you’re destined to follow him, or if you should even want to go elsewhere.”
Shouto nodded but kept his mouth shut, too embarrassed to say it out loud. He hadn’t been sure how to word it, but that was the gist of it. Like the rest of the world, their father expected certain things of him, responsibilities and goals that had once been placed on Touya’s shoulders before he’d thrown them away. It was hard to say what had gone wrong there. Touya was stronger than most with his magic and he was clever if not bright like Fuyumi, but it was like he didn’t even want to try anymore.
What was a Slytherin without any ambition?
Their father yelled that at him time and time again. He was a complete waste of space, time, and air if he didn’t try to amount to anything. Meanwhile, there was Fuyumi right next to him, former Prefect and now Head Girl of their year, and he didn’t offer a single word of congratulations. What would happen to him if he failed? (Did he want to fail?) What would happen if he chose the path his father wanted him to take? Did he even have a choice?
Touya sighed and ran his fingers through his vibrant, red hair. “Here’s a tip no one will tell you: the Hat won’t force you into a House you don’t want to go in. It knows you won’t flourish there if it does.”
“But…” Shouto furrowed his brow. “You’re in Slytherin and you hate it.”
“Yeah, I’m stuck with a bunch of jackasses, smug bastards, and blood purists,” Touya said, “but it was partly my decision.”
“I thought the Sorting Hat chooses the House for you.”
“It does, but…” Touya leaned back in his seat, watching Natsuo haggle with the trolley lady over fizzing whizbees and chocolate frogs. “It took the Hat almost ten minutes to deal with me. I thought for sure I was going to get kicked out for taking too long or be put in the back of the line. It originally wanted to put me in Slytherin, but I hesitated, and so it did as well. I wanted to be in Slytherin – at least I thought I did. The Hat caught onto my reservations.”
Shouto stared at his brother. “But you still went there.”
Touya nodded. “I did. We both knew I didn’t belong in Ravenclaw with Fuyumi. It considered me briefly for Hufflepuff, but I’m not…” An uncomfortable expression crossed his face before he cleared his throat and wiped it away. “I’m not hardworking, if you couldn’t tell.” He flashed a brief grin, so different from the look on his face seconds ago. “It argued about Gryffindor versus Slytherin for a long time.”
“You are very brave.”
A bark of laughter slipped from Touya. “You think so?”
“Yeah, you’re not afraid of Dad at all.”
“Hm, yeah, I suppose you’re right,” Touya replied distantly. He shook his head. “At the time though, maybe I was – and I wanted to make him proud – so off to Slytherin I went. The Hat said I could’ve been in either one, but that the decision worried it. I didn’t know Hats could be worried. I would either flourish or drown in either House depending on the circumstances.” He blew out a huff of air. “I guess I drowned, but it’s not so bad.”
Shouto clenched his hands into fists. “What do you think I should do?”
“I think,” Touya said, “you should go with your heart while you’ve still got one.” He folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes as he tilted his head back. “Don’t be like me. It’s not a good thing. Be like Fuyumi or Natsuo. They trusted themselves and look where it got them.”
“I don’t think you’re so bad.”
Touya snorted. “I appreciate it.”
Shouto looked out the window, watching the scenery fly by them. Touya might not think he was the best at comforting people – and he was probably right – but the nerves clogging up Shouto’s throat dissipated. By the time Natsuo returned to drop a frankly absurd amount of food and candy on the seat next to him, his heart felt light. He could actually get excited about trying things he hadn’t before and listened eagerly as Natsuo explained every single one.
He was going to Hogwarts. Wherever he was sorted, he would make it his because this place, with his siblings and maybe even friends, could be his real home. Everything would be fine, just as Touya said. It wouldn’t matter what House he was sorted into because it would be what was best for him. It would be what his heart wanted.