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Kara walked slowly along the empty beach. She rolled up her jeans and carried the sneakers in her hands. Small waves crushed at her bare feet. Water must be numbingly cold this time of the year but she didn’t really feel it. The rising sun painted the horizon red. It was going to be a beautiful day. Another beautiful empty day.
She reached the end of the beach and went up to the small wooden house. J’onn sat in the rocking chair on the porch. For some reason he still preferred to take Hank’s form. Kara walked up to him and after a moment of hesitation sat in an empty chair beside him. They watched the ocean below silently for several minutes.
“Would you like a drink?”
“You know that alcohol doesn’t affect me”
“I wasn’t talking about human drinks”
“Then yes, please”
Hank went into the house and came back with a bottle of unknown drink and two tumblers. He placed them on the table and poured dark green liquid in both.
“Is it going to melt my insides?”
“Not likely. Superman drinks it regularly and is still alive and flying”
Kara looked surprised. “Kal-El comes here?”
J’onn grunted in agreement. “He appeared once after Lois passed away and now visits occasionally”.
Kara nodded and took her tumbler. She sipped the liquid and swallowed it. It tasted a bit like human whiskey but she felt immediately how it turned into liquid heat in her stomach.
“So, Supergirl is dead, I presume?”
“MIA to be precise. But I left enough traces that they would eventually come to the necessary conclusion. How did you know that I’m alive?
“I’ve seen you in much more difficult fights”
“Yeah, well…”
They nursed their drinks in silence.
“J’onn?”
“Hm?”
“How do you continue to live when you lose everyone you love?”
J’onn sighed and asked carefully “Haven’t you been through this once?”
“I have and I barely survived then. I wouldn’t if not for Alex, and Eliza, and Jeremiah. But the destruction of Krypton and the loss of my family never went away completely, even after all these years. What I meant though is how do you live with losing people? You’ve been here for more than three hundred years. Surely you’ve learned something.”
“Actually, I haven’t. Before you and Alex I never allowed myself to get close to anyone. You are the first humans, well a human and a Kryptonian, who are like daughters to me.”
Kara sighed.
“I’m sorry, I know you miss her too. I saw you at the funeral.”
“I thought I disguised myself well.”
Kara chuckled sadly.
“I just… I don’t know what to do anymore. Alex was my rock. We had each other when Eliza died in an accident. Alex was with me when Cat passed away. And now I’m lost without her. I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. It all happened so quickly. One moment she is laughing and talking and another moment she’s dead. They say she didn’t feel anything. Aneurysm, they say.” Kara’s voice halted and she started crying. J’onn moved his chair towards hers and drew her into a hug. Kara cried inconsolably for a while. J’onn was stroking her head gently. Then her sobs gradually subsided. She straightened up and tried to wipe her eyes. J’onn looked at her with sympathy.
“I know, it was too soon. She had so many plans.”
“Oh, you kept in touch?”
“Yes, of course. After I retired from DEO and Alex was promoted to my position I assisted them on several missions. She was a damn good director.”
“Yes, she was”
“And when she retired after twenty years at the head of DEO and started to teach at the National City University we both consulted DEO from time to time.”
Kara smiled.
“You both just didn’t trust me to be on my own. Even after what, forty years?”
J’onn bumped her with his elbow and raised his tumbler in salute.
“To our Alex”
“To Alex” Kara raised her glass as well and then sipped slowly.
“What did you tell Carter?”
“Oh well, uhm. I met him and Astra, Alex’s daughter, and Maggie a month after, you know, the funeral. They agreed that it’s getting weirder and weirder that they are getting old and I don’t change. I now look younger than my grandchildren. I love them all dearly but I can’t stay with them anymore. I guess I’ll look after them from afar. Like a guardian angel or something. I promised Cat that I would always look after Carter and I’m not going to break this promise.”
Hank nodded. “I see. And what about Supergirl?”
Kara shrugged. “I like helping people and being useful but I just can’t do it anymore as Supergirl. I started it to save Alex and, I guess, it has always been about her. And Cat. And now I just feel empty.” She fell silent thinking about Cat.
Two years ago
“Can you do anything?” Kara turned to the doctor. He seemed to be in his early thirties. So young, how can he be experienced enough?
“I’m sorry Ms. Danvers. We did our best to stabilize Ms. Grant and make sure that she feels no pain but she is not strong enough to survive the operation. We’ve looked into all the possible treatments. Dr. Grant made sure of that.” He nodded apologetically to Carter who sat at the other side of Cat’s bed.
Kara looked at the tall lanky man with the head of unruly grey curls. She was still amazed that her shy sweet boy became a prominent cardiologist.
“He’s right, Kara.” Carter gave her a sad smile.
Kara turned to Alex in desperation but her sister just shook her head imperceptibly.
“Oh please, continue talking. You know how I like being discussed in third person. I may be old and sick but I’m not dead yet.” Cat said with her usual scowl.
Kara chuckled tearfully and took Cat’s hand very carefully as if she was made of glass. She looked so small and fragile now on this big hospital bed. Even in her nineties Cat was fully active and sharp-minded. She was still a petite ball of pure energy. Up until a few days ago at least.
“I’m sorry, darling. I just wanted to make sure that the Queen of all Media gets the treatment she deserves.”
“Don’t worry, Carter and Agent Scully made sure of that. Haven’t they, Dr. Everton?”
The young doctor nodded and smiled reassuringly. He promised to come by later and left the room.
Cat squeezed Kara’s hand lightly and looked at Carter and Alex. “Will you please give me a minute with Kara?”.
When they left, Kara brought Cat’s hand to her lips and covered it with desperate kisses. She didn’t try to stop tears anymore.
“Cat, no, there should be something that we could do, that I could do.”
Cat moved her hand from Kara’s and brought it to her cheek. She made a movement to wipe Kara’s tears and smiled softly.
“My sweet, sweet girl. Do not fret. You’ve done all you could and much more. I’ve lived a good life, I’ve raised a wonderful son and for almost fifty years I’ve had you by my side. I am a bit disappointed that I have a mere year left till my hundredth anniversary but queens know when it’s time to leave the party.”
“Please don’t leave me. I don’t know how to live without you.”
“Oh, darling,” Cat shook her head reproachfully, “the world still has so much to offer you.”
Kara shook her head and whispered “Cat, you are my world. You know, I don’t deal well with the change.”
“And that’s why you haven’t changed a single bit from the first time we met.”
“Yes, see, I told you.”
“Listen to me now. I love you and always will, but you need to let me go. My body is tired and I would like to leave with dignity.”
Kara gently hugged Cat and her tears started to fall again and wet Cat’s hospital robe. She mumbled very quietly into Cat’s collar bone “I know, my love, I do.” Cat weaved her fingers through Kara’s tousled hair and kissed her tenderly on the crown of her head. “Thank you.”
When Kara emerged from the room an hour later Alex was waiting for her. She hugged her immediately. “I’m sorry Kara, there’s nothing we can do”.
Kara nodded tightly.
“I know. How long…”
“A few days maybe. Carter and I are going to stay here all the time. I brought some things for you as well” Alex pointed to an army issued black duffel bag lying under a chair.
“Thank you.” Kara breathed out brokenly and slumped into the chair suddenly feeling as if her powers left her. Alex sat down beside her and squeezed her shoulder. “Yeah…”
Kara stayed at Cat’s side for three days holding her hand. Cat mostly slept and Kara listened to her tired weak heartbeat for hours. When she woke up they spoke quietly. Carter and Alex were almost always with them leaving just for a few hours to sleep.
On the third evening Cat woke up from her nap with a start. Kara looked at her worriedly. They wore alone in the room.
“What is it, darling?”
Soft sunset light fell through the window and made Cat look ethereal. Her hazel eyes shone. She squeezed Kara’s hand and looked at her face.
“You’re so beautiful, my golden girl. And I’m so old and tired.”
“You are just as beautiful as the first time we met. Remember, your 10:15?” Kara smiled, moved closer and kissed Cat lightly.
“Sweet talker” Cat purred and became serious. “Promise me you will look after Carter”
“You know I always will, like I did all these years”
“Good” nodded Cat, “and I will always be with you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too” Kara whispered starting to cry again.
“There, there. Come here” Kara laid her head on Cat’s pillow and held Cat until she fell asleep.
After several hours the weak heartbeat stopped and all Kara could hear was the long beeping of the heart monitor. Alex and Carter rose from their chairs. They were crying. Kara went to them and hugged them both.
The time after Cat’s death was rough. She couldn’t remember it well, to be honest. She felt numb but at the same time she hurt everywhere. First days she just moved aimlessly around the house and couldn’t bring herself to sort Cat’s things. She took one thing or another and they brought memories that tore her apart. She spent long hours hugging Cat’s pillow and inhaling her scent. If not for Alex who brought her food and gently urged her to eat, take shower and sleep, she would have probably withered herself. She tried to watch TV or listen to music but felt too raw inside to do any of that. There was a giant Cat-shaped hole in her heart.
After a month, Alex asked Kara for some help with her and Maggie’s house and after that offered Kara to stay with them for a while. She said that she was doing some new research on Kryptonian anatomy and that she needed Kara’s help with it. They spent hours working silently together. Carter and his children visited them often. Kara felt guilty that she couldn’t support him as she should have but her awkward apology was met with a crushing hug and heated reassurances that he understood her. Even as a middle-aged man he was still her and Cat’s sweet boy.
Finally she was ready to face the word. During her absence DEO showed that they indeed can manage without Supergirl just as well.
Present time
A sea-gull’s cry brought Kara back from her reverie. The sun has fully risen. It was indeed a beautiful cold autumn day. She downed the rest of her drink and put her tumbler on the table. Then she got up and stretched. The world swam slightly in front of her eyes.
“Uhm, J’onn? Can I stay here today? I don’t think I should be flying right now.”
J’onn smiled “Sure, I won’t encourage drunken flying. And you can stay here as long as you need. My house is big enough for two aliens.”
“Thank you. I need to eh… regroup now that I’m dead to the world.”
“Take all the time you need. Anyway, do you need to get a new identity?”
“Oh, I haven’t thought about that yet. I just wanted to get away. Cat left me enough money for a couple of lives so I thought may be to travel for several years, really see the world that I saved so many times, you know?”
“And after that?”
“I don’t know. What do heroes do when they can’t save people they love?”
25 years later
Kara followed Dr. Holt through the corridors of the lab.
“I’m very glad to have you here Kara. I’ve heard many good things about you from your professors in Harvard.”
“Oh, uhm, thank you, sir” Kara blushed.
“Oh, don’t be shy. We need all the brightest minds here. We’re so close to the big break-through. Who knows, maybe you and Katie will finally discover the secret of immortality.”
“Uhm… Katie?”
“Oh, sorry. I totally forgot…” He opened some door and motioned for her to follow. “Here’s Katie, our youngest and brightest postdoc. She will show you the ropes. Katie, say hello to Kara.” A petite blond girl sat with her back to them studying something intently at her multiple holo-screens. At the sound of the professor’s voice she turned around in her chair and scowled. Kara said “Hi, I’m Kara D.. Grant” and shuffled nervously with a touchpad in her hands.
Katie looked at it with a twinkle in her hazel eyes and Kara felt a familiar flutter in her chest.
“Old school, I see.” The girl got up and looked Kara up and down as if estimating something. Kara fought the urge to adjust her absent glasses. Finally, Katie seemed to come to some kind of conclusion. She breezed to the door and turned back looking at Kara questioningly.
“Follow me, Kiera, what are you waiting for? I don’t have all day. Chop-chop…”